Tem lay in bed in the hospital wing amidst a mountain of get-well cards and candy, silent and brooding. He'd been doing that a lot lately. Ever since "the attack" (as Tem's most recent dream had been deemed), he had felt different. He refused to see his many visitors, even, and especially Harry. Because it was all Harry's fault that he had come to this. He was sure of this now. The thought had shocked him at first, because he had never borne any ill-will towards anybody before, though in the recent days, he had become very comfortable with the concept. Harry was the reason for all of Tem's problems. He had brought the Dark Lord back. He had slept soundly in his bed while Tem was almost killed. He basked in the attention and hero-worship of the school while Tem did all of the fighting.
A fog of anger crept over Tem's brain as he lay incapacitated. As a boy, Tem could remember rarely being angry. It just hadn't occurred to him to have emotions such as hate and jealousy. He would much rather have just observed the reactions of others and written them down. In his stories, when his characters did have those emotions (which was rare), he wrote them from an outsider's point of view. He could describe how anger looked—a red face, an enraged expression, the look of steam about to erupt from one's ears (he was very used to seeing Mr. Dursley that way when yelling at the neighbors' dogs)—but could not describe how anger, real, all-consuming, maddening, blinding rage, really felt to a person. The thought of being angry with somebody scared him. He didn't want to become like Mr. Dursley. He didn't like the thought of losing control like that.
That was before.
Now he was angry, and it was delicious. Now the ill-will, the pure hatred he felt for Harry and his friends washed over him, seeping into his brain like the most subtle of all poisons, boiling and sizzling on the ends of each and every synapse before creeping through his veins, infecting his heart and the blood that flowed through his entire body. Every morning that he woke up dazed and groggy from the sleeping potion the night before, he hated Harry Potter more than ever. Perhaps were Harry not in love, perhaps were he so tortured and miserable as Tem was, he could begin to forgive him, but that was not so. The hatred washed over Tem and he embraced it freely.
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"Tem's been acting strange," Harry commented on the first day of Christmas holiday. The common room was delightfully empty of prying Gryffindor eyes, but Harry didn't seem able to enjoy the well-deserved privacy. Ginny turned from her favorite spot on Harry's chest. She was not at all surprised to see the look on his face; he had clearly been worrying about this for some time now
"How so?"
"I don't know," he sighed, stroking her hair. "Quiet, I guess. Distant. He seems more than a little annoyed with me. When I visit him, he acts like he wants me to leave, and when I don't, he calls me a bad friend for not being there. I just can't win."
In spite of herself, Ginny giggled. "What?!" Harry cried, offended.
"I'm sorry! It's just…"
"What?!"
"He sounds like me when I get angry. Well, most women do that, actually." Ginny giggled again. Harry laughed and tickled her, making her shriek. "Remind me never to make you angry. Really, though," he said, turning serious again. "I think that there is something badly wrong with him and I don't know how to help; he won't let me near him."
Ginny sighed and lay her head back down on his chest. "It'll be OK, Harry. You'll see. From what I know of him, Tem is strong, just like you. He's just going through hard times right now. How would you like it if Voldemort attacked your dreams every night?." Harry raised his eyebrows and Ginny's hand flew to her mouth, clearly to prevent her foot from doing the same. "Oh, Harry! I'm so sorry! You know I didn't mean it that way! I'm such a prat! I'm sorry,"
Harry shook his head. "No. No, don't be. You're right. What I have is nothing compared to what he's going through. I have memories. Those are bad enough, but what he experiences is real. You can't just wake up from something like that. He almost didn't last time."
There was an uncomfortable silence before Ginny spoke again. "Maybe you should go to Dumbledore. He might know why Tem is acting this way."
Harry sighed again. "I don't know, Gin. Nothing against Dumbledore, you see, but sometimes I get the feeling that he knows just as little as we do about all of this. That he's waiting for us to give him the answers. Or maybe he just likes us to figure things out on our own, like a test. I think…I don't know what to think. Everything is so confusing. No, I think we should talk to Tem's Ravenclaw friends. You know, Alan and those other two girls. They see Tem almost every day. He actually lets them speak to him. Maybe they have noticed his behavior as well. Maybe it's all in my head, I don't know. Maybe they can tell us something."
Ginny nodded. "We'll have to do it as soon as possible. I hate to see how this is affecting you. Worse, I hate to think what might be wrong with Tem. Poor bloke," she sighed. Harry kissed her head and relaxed back down on the couch. The whole situation was getting to him. Sometimes he thought that, had he not found Ginny, he would long ago have gone insane, especially when Ron and Hermione first got together on Hallowe'en night. While he was lonely, and admittedly a little jealous of their happiness, he had known that it would eventually happen. Who couldn't see that they were meant for each other after that episode after the Yule Ball? And after this summer, when Ron had been so worried for Hermione's safety? Not to mention the whole Krum episode. They were the only ones blind to the fact that they were madly in love with one another, until they had spent the evening reminiscing over the years past and the troll incident of their first year had come up. Ron had sat there watching Hermione, remembering with remorse what he had said to send her running to the girls' toilet, while Hermione sat there, eyes glittering as she remembered how Ron had bravely knocked the troll out with its own club. Mumbled apologies and thanks were made, then a walk ensued, and both came back a bit flushed-looking, though happy. The rest was history. Meanwhile, Harry had come to know Ginny a lot better, and soon came to realize that he loved the way she laughed, and her mischievous nature, and the way her eyes flashed and her lips curled and her face flushed when her temper flared. Then he realized that he loved her eyes and her lips and her face. And then, one November morning, he realized that he loved her.
What followed was two weeks of awkwardness and then a very embarrassing moment after a successful Quidditch match (well, successful for Gryffindor, not for Slytherin) in which, in his excitement, Harry had kissed Ginny in front of the entire school. Harry blushed just thinking about it. That, also, was history, though not very ancient. It was, in fact, almost a month to the day that Harry and Ginny had shared that kiss; regrettably, most of that month had been spent worrying over Tem. Luckily, Ginny understood. She'd even tried to get to know the first year better. Lately, however, Tem had been acting very jealous over their relationship, which Harry resented. Harry hadn't ignoring Tem, and besides that, he felt that he had earned the happiness that Ginny brought him. He resolved right then to talk to Tem's friends at lunch that day.
He didn't want to feel guilty about his relationship with Ginny anymore just because Tem wasn't happy. He wanted Tem to be happy. He just had to find a way to break whatever it was that had a hold on him. ***********************************************************************************************
Alyssa eyed Alan across her plate. He had not been looking well, especially for the last day or two. All three of them had visited Tem day and night—every spare moment, in fact—but Tem was having none of it. His moods of late had been swinging wildly, though with each passing day, the pendulum seemed to stay at the low point for just a bit longer. And Harry. Poor Harry. Harry kept trying to see Tem, to find out what was wrong because he so badly wanted to help, but Tem wouldn't let him near, and Alan was taking the brunt of it. Alan stayed late in the hospital wing at night, talking to his friend, trying to make him see sense. Harry wasn't the enemy. Harry wasn't the one they were fighting against. Harry was a friend, a very good friend who would never see any harm come to him without doing all that he could to stop it. And at the end of the night, Tem would almost seem to come around sometimes, to call Harry in there and tell him that he was sorry for acting like such a prat, but then he would often be too tired and end up going to sleep. When he woke up, Tem would be in that horrible mood again, shouting at everybody who came near, swearing at those around him, especially Harry. And then Alan would try again.
Sometimes the girls would stay with Tem at night, or bring him some sweets to cheer him up, or a drawing or book. At first these things had seemed to work a little bit, but recently, the pile of sweets had grown high and untouched, and the stacks of entertaining reading material lay in perfectly mint condition.
The changes between Tem's moods were altogether startling. One would never know that he was the same person. When he was in a good mood, he was bright-eyed, cheerful and creative. He wanted to write, he wanted to draw and to talk and laugh. When he was in a bad mood, there was an almost tangible black cloud around his head. The only brightness in his eyes was due to the flashing lightning in the stormy sea of his mind. He didn't talk but to try and curse the people in the room. The only person he talked to was Alan, and sometimes, Fay. Very rarely would he talk to Alyssa. She had never really felt bad about this, other than the fact that she couldn't help like the others could. She knew that Tem and Fay had a connection somehow, and wasn't jealous about it. That connection had seemed at its strongest the night that Tem had that fateful dream. Something had happened, then.
Alyssa remembered Fay going to the common room that night; it was her night to make sure that Tem went to sleep. She had come back sometime later, excited and happy, but Alyssa was too tired to listen to the story until morning. It was something she had meant to ask about, but with the event of the dream and everything, it had been driven from her mind. Now she wondered what had happened that night. Did it have anything to do with Tem's dream? She doubted it, mostly from the feeling that, if Fay had been that excited and happy, then Tem probably would have been, too. He had just stayed up too late; that was what Alan had said. Tem had fallen asleep trying to stay up all night, and it didn't work. The exhaustion had been too much.
No, Alyssa didn't feel bad about being left out. She liked doing what she could where she could, like getting Muggle fiction books from her parents for Tem to read, or drawing him pictures. Those were easiest for her; she didn't talk very well, especially when it came to making others feel better. She usually ended up sticking her foot in her mouth, and making matters worse. No, it was better that she stayed out of it.
Besides, she had her own…connection problems to worry about. She chanced another glace at Alan (he really didn't look good) and quickly looked away when his deep-ringed eyes met hers briefly. She often wondered how he managed to hold up under the stress. Tem got time off from school, at least. He had everyone to pander to him and give him everything at a moment's notice. Alan, however, usually did the pandering, while keeping up with schoolwork as well. It was obviously beginning to wear on him. Maybe the Christmas holiday would do him some good. *We could all use a good holiday, * she thought. *From everything.*
That was when Harry sat down next to her. Alan looked up sharply. "This is the Ravenclaw table, Potter. Best look where you're stepping." If Harry was upset, he didn't show it. Alyssa couldn't believe her ears, though, and apparently neither could Fay.
Harry, however, just nodded curtly. "Well, I guess it is me then; not Tem. I'll just be going." He made to leave when Alan stopped him.
"No, no. I'm sorry. Please, stay. I've just been spending way too much time around Tem lately. I'm afraid that he's wearing off on me, not the other way around like I had hoped. You're right, though; there's something going on. We just don't know what to do about it," he sighed. "Believe me. We've tried."
Harry looked steadily between the three friends; though his face was impassive, his bearing was stiff, as if deciding whether to stay or bolt. He looked as if he wanted to do both. Finally, seemed to come to a conclusion.
"I can tell," Harry agreed, visibly relaxing in his chair. "You look awful. I came over here to ask you if you noticed anything, but apparently you have. What is wrong? Why won't he let me near him? Did I do something that I'm not aware of?"
Alan shook his head. "I have no idea what it could be. As far as I can tell, he's just mad that he's suffering and you aren't. I think that he thinks you should be the hero while he sits back comfortably. I think it's more than that, though. It's like he's…possessed. Or something, I don't know."
Harry stiffened; his face contorted in intense concentration for several minutes. "That's it!" he cried, finally. The others looked at him like he'd just announced his engagement to Snape. "Think about it—how does he act at night, as opposed to in the morning?"
"Well," Fay began apprehensively, "At night, we can usually almost talk to him as normal. In fact, he's almost gone down to apologize to you a couple of times."
"And then?"
"And then," Fay went on, "In the morning, he's out for blood again. He's a completely different person. Though at night lately, he's been more apt to go for blood than to apologise." She looked remorsefully at Harry, as if she thought this news might be damaging to him, however, he seemed not to notice. He was in a frenzied excitement, having leapt from his chair and was now pacing back and forth in front of them, just as Professor Flitwick often did when he was on a roll.
"As I thought he might. Now, what happens between night and morning? What could possibly change so much in that time period?" Alyssa's eyes went wide and round; she'd finally understood.
"The potion! He takes the potion at night to protect against You-Know-Who! He hates it!" Harry nodded excitedly.
"And what happens if you use a medicine or something like that too much?" he asked.
Alan gasped, fully understanding as well. "He becomes immune to it! But that…that would mean…"
"That would mean that You-Know-Who is still getting into Tem's head every night. That would mean that Tem is working under his power. Oh, God," Fay whispered, looking fearfully into Harry's eyes. "What are we going to do?"
"Right," Harry whispered, sinking into his chair again. "I have no idea. I really need to leave this thinking stuff to Hermione. She's really much better at it."
"I think we should go to Madam Pomfrey," Alan suggested. "She should know about this. She should know that the potion would start to wear off. That Voldemort," Alan gritted his teeth against the name, "would get through eventually. We have to tell her first, then maybe she can help us."