~*~Please R/R if you can because I would really like to hear from everyone and everything. Here's the T/R, this is my first time ever even thinking about them, let alone trying to write them so sorry if they are out of character. Please tell me if I screw up royally. This is rather depressing so don't read it if you are like... sensitive...Thanks for reading this :) ~*~
Weeks have passed since we last saw her
Luke: Another day has ended, one less day off the rest of my life that's how I look at it now. I still don't know what to do with Rory, she stays here at night and only goes to her mother's house to get new clothes or other things she needs. I know we will have to learn to live again but it's so hard to even think about sometimes I find that at night it's the worst. I toss and turn in my bed, struggling with the sheets at I try to stop thinking, I wish it were that easy.
Rory: I sink into Jesss' bed, he's been sleeping on the couch for the past few weeks letting me have the bed. He's really not that bad of a guy when it comes down to it. I feel so tired lately, like nothing could ever make me excited again. I cry silently into my pillow as I've done for what seems like forever.
We kid ourselves into believing things are getting better
Luke: I hear my alarm clock sound and I get up, the sun is shining outside for the first time for a while. It's nice, I fix myself some tea and brew coffee for Rory who should be getting up soon. I go down and start to open the diner, I pause as I flip the closed sign to open and look outside at a person walking down the street. They seem happy, I haven't seen many happy people lately. Maybe things are starting to get back to normal.
Rory: I hear Lukes alarm go off, god it's annoying the BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. I listen to him getting ready to open the diner when he leaves I get up. I notice the coffee is on and turn it off, I don't feel like coffee so I dump it out. Watching it go down the drain I have to turn my head away, I notice Jess watching me silently, just standing. I leave to get ready for school as I do I pass a window, the sun is shining, I hear a bird chirp quietly in the distance and I smile softly.
Rory goes to school and I to work
Luke: The diner is doing well, people are starting to come again and they're not so sad. I remember the time right after her death, no one dared to come for fear of upsetting me more then I was already but slowly they came back. I was glad. It's nice having them around, though I'd never admit that to anyone. I like the company it makes things seem less... dead.
Rory: I still ride the bus to school even though I could drive, I just don't feel like it. Everyone at school has been more nice then usual, I guess that's a good thing. The teachers look at me with sympathy, Max even pulled me aside to talk one day. I wish he would just leave me alone. Some may say I'm bitter, I'd tell them to go to hell. My school work is starting to fall behind and I know I should try... try to keep up... try to care but I can't.
It seems that there's not a place her memories don't lurk
Luke: I watch the diner during the day and close at the normal time, I hear her voice still. It makes me smile. People talk about her a lot, it's nice, I even join in sometimes but for the most part I just watch and listen. I see her in children that come in with their parents wanting things they know they can't have, I see her in the sun as it shine downs, I hear her voice in the wind whispering softly. I close my eyes now, in my mind this has all been a dream.
Rory: Walking back from the bus station I hear someone call my name. Dean... I haven't talked to him in a long time, he comes closer and smiles. My mother liked him. I see her smiling at me when I told her about him, I hear her voice as she did her Dean impression, I see the hope in his eyes that she once had. I break his heart then, after all my mother liked him.
Since her death we've been forever changed
Luke: Jess comes in and takes over for me for a while, he's been doing that a lot lately, helping out with out me asking. And I let him, I let people help now, I let them in. Life's too short not to I think. Rory enters the diner, she's changed a lot since her mother's death. I guess we've all changed though.
Rory: The phone rings, it's dad he wants me to go live with him and Sherrie. I'm silent for a few seconds, trying to even conceive what he just said then I laugh, I laugh into the phone and hang up. He's as bad as my 'grand parents'. They want to be in my life now that my life is done, I shake my head and wonder if I'll ever go back to being the young naive girl I once was, the one who would have loved a chance to act like Miss Perfect, I doubt it.
We now seek comfort in anything
Luke: A really nice woman came in today. She is smart, beautiful, charming and funny, she's a lot like Lorelai. I caught my self smiling at her a few times, we talked, we're going out tonight. I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't care, all I care about is that, that pain in the pit of my stomach lessens when she's around. She came over to the diner and I made her dinner, it was nice, we flirted and I saw Lorelai. Jess is out somewhere as is Rory so I invite her up, I know it's wrong what I am doing but I don't care. She leaves my bed in the morning.
Rory: School sucks as usual, teachers complaining to me telling me they know I'm having a hard time right now but that I need to concentrate. I'm in English now, the teacher lecturing, then the door opens my eyes look toward the movement and I hear my heart stops. Our eyes meet and I fall, my stomach twists it's him... god he's beautiful, slightly more tan, hair cut a little shorter, chin held a bit higher. It's Tristan. His eyes pierce my skin down to my soul and I stand. In the middle of the class I grab my stuff and leave, just walk away. Passing him I feel his eyes on me, surprisingly he follows. I know that he knows about my mother even though we do not speak. We don't have to, he understands how I feel, at least I think he does. He takes me to his house for the rest of the day we sit, watching each other, for the first time I begin to feel again.
Our dreams now long gone
Luke: I open my eyes and try to remember what happened last night, it all seems to be a blur.I had a date, that much I am sure of, then it comes back and I groan. God what have I done? I get up and take a hot shower and walk to Rory's room, she's not there... I should have kept a better eye on her instead of focusing on me. My dream of a happy family begins to fall apart.
Rory: I wake up in his arms, it's morning, I move to look at him, he looks so innocent now as he sleeps. I disentangle myself from him and dress, then I walk away. I seem to be getting good at that. Last night I felt more then I had ever felt in my life, he made everything better again, he promised me the world. A promise he can't keep.
Everything has begun to go horribly wrong
Luke: I'm waiting for her when she walks in. I'm disappointed in her and myself. There was a message on the answering machine telling me of the events of the previous day, looking at her I know she knows what I'm thinking. She doesn't seem to care though, walking past me she goes to her room and shuts the door. I'm not sure what to do, I don't know if I'm strong enough to fight with her, I don't want to find out so I ignore the problem hoping it will go away. Things have started to spin out of control.
Rory: I took the bus back to Stars Hollow and walked to the diner, Luke was waiting for me and I saw a look in his eyes. The same look I saw in the teachers' I wanted to tell him to go to hell, I wanted to tell him to leave me alone. Instead I go into my room and shut the door. Looking around I realise it's not where I belong so I leave. I go home and start to pack.
I thought we could find ourselves in each other
Luke: I thought taking in Rory was the best thing to do, at the time I think it was. She was a great kid, always did her homework and tried her hardest. I thought it would be easy to pick up where her mother left off, I was wrong. I don't know what I could have done differently though, she wanted to live here, this is what she wanted! So why isn't it working? Am I not trying hard enough? Apparently not. I was wrong, I've been wrong a lot lately.
Luke: This isn't fair to Luke, I know that. He's been trying to help me, he took me in when I asked him to, he feeds me, he loves me but I don't... I don't what? I don't know anymore. It's too hard to think about, I found myself last night, the woman I wanted to be with the man I wanted to be with, but I don't deserve that anymore.
But no one could ever replace her mother
Luke: Maybe I shouldn't have even tried to take Lorelai's place, maybe... it's too late now though. I don't know where she is, I didn't even notice that she'd left. I hit my head against the wall, I begin to feel lost again.
Rory: Packing is easy, grab a few clothes, a few pictures, some money and a few personal things throw them into a duffel bag, take a quick shower then leave. I don't know where I'm going, I don't care as long as it's far away from here.
So now the time has come to say good-bye
Luke: I go to Lorelai's, that's the only place I can think she'd be. I find her sitting on the steps, a duffel bag sitting next to her. I stare at her for a moment letting everything sink in, then I get mad. I yell, I yell loudly, I ask what she thinks she's doing, where she's going, why she thinks that SHE should get to give up so easily. I grab her by the shoulders and shake her hard, harder then I probably should have, but I see a response, the first I've seen in days. She yells back, she fights with me, we say things that shouldn't have been said. Things I know I will always regret, but I know I can't take them back. She grabs her bag and walks away. I watch her with tears in my eyes, she leaves.
Rory: I'm not paying that much attention to anything then I hear someone yelling. I focus on Luke, surprise that he's yelling, looking around I try to see who he's yelling at only to conclude that it's me. He's angry, really angry, he asks me questions I just stare. Then he's in front of me, he pulls me up forcefully and shakes me. I'm afraid, afraid of feeling of losing control I was right to be afraid. I yell back, I tell him I can whatever I want, I tell him it's his fault she's gone. The moment the words leave my mouth I regret them, we stare at each other for a long time before I slowly pick my my bag and start to leave. I hope he stops me, I need him to stop me, he lets me go.
Maybe I'll see you again, I walk away with a sigh
Luke: I don't know what to do so I stand there, hands in my pockets and watch her go. Looking around I realise everything I have ever loved is now gone, everything. I walk back to my diner slowly, once there I pull out a piece of paper and scribble a quick note on it. I call the para medics, pull out some rope and make a noose. I failed. I failed life. Good-bye.
Rory: He didn't stop me... I thought he would, I really thought he would but he didn't. I feel like crap, nothing is turning out the way it was suppose to and it's my fault. My fault. There's a bridge up ahead, funny how I never noticed it before. I walk toward it, look down I see my future. I stand on the ledge, close my eyes and lean forward. My arms are open, I feel my stomach turn, I let everything go. I fall.
Weeks have passed since we last saw her
Luke: Another day has ended, one less day off the rest of my life that's how I look at it now. I still don't know what to do with Rory, she stays here at night and only goes to her mother's house to get new clothes or other things she needs. I know we will have to learn to live again but it's so hard to even think about sometimes I find that at night it's the worst. I toss and turn in my bed, struggling with the sheets at I try to stop thinking, I wish it were that easy.
Rory: I sink into Jesss' bed, he's been sleeping on the couch for the past few weeks letting me have the bed. He's really not that bad of a guy when it comes down to it. I feel so tired lately, like nothing could ever make me excited again. I cry silently into my pillow as I've done for what seems like forever.
We kid ourselves into believing things are getting better
Luke: I hear my alarm clock sound and I get up, the sun is shining outside for the first time for a while. It's nice, I fix myself some tea and brew coffee for Rory who should be getting up soon. I go down and start to open the diner, I pause as I flip the closed sign to open and look outside at a person walking down the street. They seem happy, I haven't seen many happy people lately. Maybe things are starting to get back to normal.
Rory: I hear Lukes alarm go off, god it's annoying the BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. I listen to him getting ready to open the diner when he leaves I get up. I notice the coffee is on and turn it off, I don't feel like coffee so I dump it out. Watching it go down the drain I have to turn my head away, I notice Jess watching me silently, just standing. I leave to get ready for school as I do I pass a window, the sun is shining, I hear a bird chirp quietly in the distance and I smile softly.
Rory goes to school and I to work
Luke: The diner is doing well, people are starting to come again and they're not so sad. I remember the time right after her death, no one dared to come for fear of upsetting me more then I was already but slowly they came back. I was glad. It's nice having them around, though I'd never admit that to anyone. I like the company it makes things seem less... dead.
Rory: I still ride the bus to school even though I could drive, I just don't feel like it. Everyone at school has been more nice then usual, I guess that's a good thing. The teachers look at me with sympathy, Max even pulled me aside to talk one day. I wish he would just leave me alone. Some may say I'm bitter, I'd tell them to go to hell. My school work is starting to fall behind and I know I should try... try to keep up... try to care but I can't.
It seems that there's not a place her memories don't lurk
Luke: I watch the diner during the day and close at the normal time, I hear her voice still. It makes me smile. People talk about her a lot, it's nice, I even join in sometimes but for the most part I just watch and listen. I see her in children that come in with their parents wanting things they know they can't have, I see her in the sun as it shine downs, I hear her voice in the wind whispering softly. I close my eyes now, in my mind this has all been a dream.
Rory: Walking back from the bus station I hear someone call my name. Dean... I haven't talked to him in a long time, he comes closer and smiles. My mother liked him. I see her smiling at me when I told her about him, I hear her voice as she did her Dean impression, I see the hope in his eyes that she once had. I break his heart then, after all my mother liked him.
Since her death we've been forever changed
Luke: Jess comes in and takes over for me for a while, he's been doing that a lot lately, helping out with out me asking. And I let him, I let people help now, I let them in. Life's too short not to I think. Rory enters the diner, she's changed a lot since her mother's death. I guess we've all changed though.
Rory: The phone rings, it's dad he wants me to go live with him and Sherrie. I'm silent for a few seconds, trying to even conceive what he just said then I laugh, I laugh into the phone and hang up. He's as bad as my 'grand parents'. They want to be in my life now that my life is done, I shake my head and wonder if I'll ever go back to being the young naive girl I once was, the one who would have loved a chance to act like Miss Perfect, I doubt it.
We now seek comfort in anything
Luke: A really nice woman came in today. She is smart, beautiful, charming and funny, she's a lot like Lorelai. I caught my self smiling at her a few times, we talked, we're going out tonight. I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't care, all I care about is that, that pain in the pit of my stomach lessens when she's around. She came over to the diner and I made her dinner, it was nice, we flirted and I saw Lorelai. Jess is out somewhere as is Rory so I invite her up, I know it's wrong what I am doing but I don't care. She leaves my bed in the morning.
Rory: School sucks as usual, teachers complaining to me telling me they know I'm having a hard time right now but that I need to concentrate. I'm in English now, the teacher lecturing, then the door opens my eyes look toward the movement and I hear my heart stops. Our eyes meet and I fall, my stomach twists it's him... god he's beautiful, slightly more tan, hair cut a little shorter, chin held a bit higher. It's Tristan. His eyes pierce my skin down to my soul and I stand. In the middle of the class I grab my stuff and leave, just walk away. Passing him I feel his eyes on me, surprisingly he follows. I know that he knows about my mother even though we do not speak. We don't have to, he understands how I feel, at least I think he does. He takes me to his house for the rest of the day we sit, watching each other, for the first time I begin to feel again.
Our dreams now long gone
Luke: I open my eyes and try to remember what happened last night, it all seems to be a blur.I had a date, that much I am sure of, then it comes back and I groan. God what have I done? I get up and take a hot shower and walk to Rory's room, she's not there... I should have kept a better eye on her instead of focusing on me. My dream of a happy family begins to fall apart.
Rory: I wake up in his arms, it's morning, I move to look at him, he looks so innocent now as he sleeps. I disentangle myself from him and dress, then I walk away. I seem to be getting good at that. Last night I felt more then I had ever felt in my life, he made everything better again, he promised me the world. A promise he can't keep.
Everything has begun to go horribly wrong
Luke: I'm waiting for her when she walks in. I'm disappointed in her and myself. There was a message on the answering machine telling me of the events of the previous day, looking at her I know she knows what I'm thinking. She doesn't seem to care though, walking past me she goes to her room and shuts the door. I'm not sure what to do, I don't know if I'm strong enough to fight with her, I don't want to find out so I ignore the problem hoping it will go away. Things have started to spin out of control.
Rory: I took the bus back to Stars Hollow and walked to the diner, Luke was waiting for me and I saw a look in his eyes. The same look I saw in the teachers' I wanted to tell him to go to hell, I wanted to tell him to leave me alone. Instead I go into my room and shut the door. Looking around I realise it's not where I belong so I leave. I go home and start to pack.
I thought we could find ourselves in each other
Luke: I thought taking in Rory was the best thing to do, at the time I think it was. She was a great kid, always did her homework and tried her hardest. I thought it would be easy to pick up where her mother left off, I was wrong. I don't know what I could have done differently though, she wanted to live here, this is what she wanted! So why isn't it working? Am I not trying hard enough? Apparently not. I was wrong, I've been wrong a lot lately.
Luke: This isn't fair to Luke, I know that. He's been trying to help me, he took me in when I asked him to, he feeds me, he loves me but I don't... I don't what? I don't know anymore. It's too hard to think about, I found myself last night, the woman I wanted to be with the man I wanted to be with, but I don't deserve that anymore.
But no one could ever replace her mother
Luke: Maybe I shouldn't have even tried to take Lorelai's place, maybe... it's too late now though. I don't know where she is, I didn't even notice that she'd left. I hit my head against the wall, I begin to feel lost again.
Rory: Packing is easy, grab a few clothes, a few pictures, some money and a few personal things throw them into a duffel bag, take a quick shower then leave. I don't know where I'm going, I don't care as long as it's far away from here.
So now the time has come to say good-bye
Luke: I go to Lorelai's, that's the only place I can think she'd be. I find her sitting on the steps, a duffel bag sitting next to her. I stare at her for a moment letting everything sink in, then I get mad. I yell, I yell loudly, I ask what she thinks she's doing, where she's going, why she thinks that SHE should get to give up so easily. I grab her by the shoulders and shake her hard, harder then I probably should have, but I see a response, the first I've seen in days. She yells back, she fights with me, we say things that shouldn't have been said. Things I know I will always regret, but I know I can't take them back. She grabs her bag and walks away. I watch her with tears in my eyes, she leaves.
Rory: I'm not paying that much attention to anything then I hear someone yelling. I focus on Luke, surprise that he's yelling, looking around I try to see who he's yelling at only to conclude that it's me. He's angry, really angry, he asks me questions I just stare. Then he's in front of me, he pulls me up forcefully and shakes me. I'm afraid, afraid of feeling of losing control I was right to be afraid. I yell back, I tell him I can whatever I want, I tell him it's his fault she's gone. The moment the words leave my mouth I regret them, we stare at each other for a long time before I slowly pick my my bag and start to leave. I hope he stops me, I need him to stop me, he lets me go.
Maybe I'll see you again, I walk away with a sigh
Luke: I don't know what to do so I stand there, hands in my pockets and watch her go. Looking around I realise everything I have ever loved is now gone, everything. I walk back to my diner slowly, once there I pull out a piece of paper and scribble a quick note on it. I call the para medics, pull out some rope and make a noose. I failed. I failed life. Good-bye.
Rory: He didn't stop me... I thought he would, I really thought he would but he didn't. I feel like crap, nothing is turning out the way it was suppose to and it's my fault. My fault. There's a bridge up ahead, funny how I never noticed it before. I walk toward it, look down I see my future. I stand on the ledge, close my eyes and lean forward. My arms are open, I feel my stomach turn, I let everything go. I fall.