Author Garble: Good Gravy! Well, this is my first satire…of Harry Potter.
So, I'll put it under the HP section. Maybe I'll make a few more like
this…dunno. Tis up to the reader :-D anyway, please R&R. Oh, FYI, I
don't own Harry Potter, fan-Fiction.net, McDonalds, or any fast food
restaurant…that would be cool, though…hmm…Oh yaw, read.
1 Twas the Boy…Er, the Boy who Twas
(A/N Yea, yea-weird title. Bug off)
It was an early morning in January, when the cold isn't truly cold; it merely gives off such an aura. Bumblebore and Professor McDonagall were walking towards a red brick, two-story house, were a mid 20's man and an early 30's woman, just married, lived. Within McDonagall's hands was a young baby, well kept, quietly sleeping, though shaking from the morning feel. It would soon awake, as the two wizards worried.
"Bumblebore, you know I hate the dark. Let's just magic up some fire, I'm getting the creeps. I knew we should of got Adv should have done this for us…Besides, I crave a burger," McDonagall cried, complaining more then anything. "N-n-n-now see here!" Bumblebore stuttered through. Th-th- th-this is t-t-t-to imp-imp-imp-important for Adv Ir. N-n-n-not only that, ha-ha-ha-have you seen him d-d-d-drive?" "Yes, but…I'm hungry," and the McDonagall handed Bumblebore the child, and reached down, opened her briefcase, and pulled out two McFoogin McBig McSandwhiches. "Want one?" McDonagall questioned Bumblebore. "N-n-n-no thanks, I j-j-j-just had a p-p- p-pack of lemons," Bumblebore replied. 'That must be what makes him so sour…He never gave me that pay raise.' McDonagall thought to herself.
Suddenly, the sounds of an ancient mobile and wreckage filled the air. Bumblebore raised his hands, preparing a spell of protection, when McDonagall pointed out the newcomer. Bumblebore lowered his hands, suddenly recognizing this stranger. "Adv Ir…shoulda figgered, you drivin' like that. Get down from there, we know why you're here."
Down from the sky came…what looked like an overgrown wolf-skin, sagging under enormous weight. This strangely assorted character came nearly as a surprise to the two wizards, though they had met so many times. The one atop the skin, errr, carpet, was a large-boned one. His dream was to bring back old wizard fads, and that he would try. Bumblebore spoke, "Adv, look, flying carpets are out. The new stile is Port Keys, and self- teleportation. You're SO stuck in the past." Adv countered, in a thick, yet fake, French accent "Zir, talk like zis, beacauze I can. I also drive and look like zis becauze I can. France lovez me, and I love itz style. It iz to bad if you disagree. My mobile iz zimple, and eazy to drive, no? And don't let my size fool you; I am smarter zen ze average bear!" And he then promptly turned around, and snatched the baby from Bumblebore's hands, and zaid, errr, said "Little one, I raized you, and I'm zure you will thank me more then theze two, no? Forgive uz all, for you muzt go live with your fatherz motherz twice removed auntz daughterz bezt friendz roommatez, cellmate. And her husband. Anyway, remember uz, when you are wiz zem. And if you acquire a French accent…just remember uz!" Adv turned, "Bumblebore! Leave ze baby and let uz be off!" Bumblebore replied "Of c- c-c-course! One m-m-m-moment, though." Bumblebore turned to the baby, suddenly losing his stutter, and said, "Look here buddy, with you delivered, I've racked up enough orphanage points to be member of the Month! Don't screw this up for me, kid, or else!" And with these words, walked to the carpet, and said, "L-l-l-let's go!" "Yes zir," came the reply, and they were off into the slowly rising sun…then turned back to pick up McDonagall, who they almost had forgotten. They all left, wondering about the future, the child, unsure of breakfast and Adv's driving "skills." Though, without them knowing, the future was closer then they though, all revealed…WHEN THE AUTHOR FEELS LIKE IT!
* *
A/N-Well…short chapter, though not bad. It set the scene. So, anyone reading this, what did you think? 'Sides that, which do you like better, the RPG satire, or this, the HP satire? Depending on which you like, I'll work more on that type. Please tell…my ideas are growing for both…and btw, I promise elves for both stories…AND ALSO! If there is something' yeh want to see in either stories, when you review it (or send me an e-mail), I'll try and put it in. So, review, and "Unleash your soul!"
1 Twas the Boy…Er, the Boy who Twas
(A/N Yea, yea-weird title. Bug off)
It was an early morning in January, when the cold isn't truly cold; it merely gives off such an aura. Bumblebore and Professor McDonagall were walking towards a red brick, two-story house, were a mid 20's man and an early 30's woman, just married, lived. Within McDonagall's hands was a young baby, well kept, quietly sleeping, though shaking from the morning feel. It would soon awake, as the two wizards worried.
"Bumblebore, you know I hate the dark. Let's just magic up some fire, I'm getting the creeps. I knew we should of got Adv should have done this for us…Besides, I crave a burger," McDonagall cried, complaining more then anything. "N-n-n-now see here!" Bumblebore stuttered through. Th-th- th-this is t-t-t-to imp-imp-imp-important for Adv Ir. N-n-n-not only that, ha-ha-ha-have you seen him d-d-d-drive?" "Yes, but…I'm hungry," and the McDonagall handed Bumblebore the child, and reached down, opened her briefcase, and pulled out two McFoogin McBig McSandwhiches. "Want one?" McDonagall questioned Bumblebore. "N-n-n-no thanks, I j-j-j-just had a p-p- p-pack of lemons," Bumblebore replied. 'That must be what makes him so sour…He never gave me that pay raise.' McDonagall thought to herself.
Suddenly, the sounds of an ancient mobile and wreckage filled the air. Bumblebore raised his hands, preparing a spell of protection, when McDonagall pointed out the newcomer. Bumblebore lowered his hands, suddenly recognizing this stranger. "Adv Ir…shoulda figgered, you drivin' like that. Get down from there, we know why you're here."
Down from the sky came…what looked like an overgrown wolf-skin, sagging under enormous weight. This strangely assorted character came nearly as a surprise to the two wizards, though they had met so many times. The one atop the skin, errr, carpet, was a large-boned one. His dream was to bring back old wizard fads, and that he would try. Bumblebore spoke, "Adv, look, flying carpets are out. The new stile is Port Keys, and self- teleportation. You're SO stuck in the past." Adv countered, in a thick, yet fake, French accent "Zir, talk like zis, beacauze I can. I also drive and look like zis becauze I can. France lovez me, and I love itz style. It iz to bad if you disagree. My mobile iz zimple, and eazy to drive, no? And don't let my size fool you; I am smarter zen ze average bear!" And he then promptly turned around, and snatched the baby from Bumblebore's hands, and zaid, errr, said "Little one, I raized you, and I'm zure you will thank me more then theze two, no? Forgive uz all, for you muzt go live with your fatherz motherz twice removed auntz daughterz bezt friendz roommatez, cellmate. And her husband. Anyway, remember uz, when you are wiz zem. And if you acquire a French accent…just remember uz!" Adv turned, "Bumblebore! Leave ze baby and let uz be off!" Bumblebore replied "Of c- c-c-course! One m-m-m-moment, though." Bumblebore turned to the baby, suddenly losing his stutter, and said, "Look here buddy, with you delivered, I've racked up enough orphanage points to be member of the Month! Don't screw this up for me, kid, or else!" And with these words, walked to the carpet, and said, "L-l-l-let's go!" "Yes zir," came the reply, and they were off into the slowly rising sun…then turned back to pick up McDonagall, who they almost had forgotten. They all left, wondering about the future, the child, unsure of breakfast and Adv's driving "skills." Though, without them knowing, the future was closer then they though, all revealed…WHEN THE AUTHOR FEELS LIKE IT!
* *
A/N-Well…short chapter, though not bad. It set the scene. So, anyone reading this, what did you think? 'Sides that, which do you like better, the RPG satire, or this, the HP satire? Depending on which you like, I'll work more on that type. Please tell…my ideas are growing for both…and btw, I promise elves for both stories…AND ALSO! If there is something' yeh want to see in either stories, when you review it (or send me an e-mail), I'll try and put it in. So, review, and "Unleash your soul!"