The Buffy/Spike Chronicles
Description: A Buffy/Spike fic, with the other Scoobies thrown in here and there.
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the good people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the God of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.
Spoilers: Takes place after Older and Farther Away, but has little snippets from As You Were and Hells Bells thrown in and adjusted to fit my own evil means.
Songs used: Wind Beneath My Wings composed by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley.
Rated: R
Feedback: Yes please!
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Part One: Riley
"So Luv, what is it this time, business or pleasure?" Spike asked Buffy as she entered his lair.
She blushed. "Um, the second one," she answered.
"I was hoping it was." He began kissing her passionately. She wrapped her arms around him, while he went straight to work, sliding a hand inside her pants.
"Oh, I . . ." a familiar voice interrupted.
Buffy pulled away from Spike to find the last person on earth she ever would have expected.
"Riley?!"
He shoved his hand in his pockets nervously. Unlike Xander, Riley had been fully able to process just what he had walked in on. "When Willow said you were with Spike, I had no idea that she meant *with* Spike. I'm just . . . I'm sorry. I should go."
"No wait," Buffy told him. Spike looked at her as if she had grown a second head.
Does she really want her old beau and her new fling hanging around together? Spike wondered. Very bad idea.
"What are you doing here? When did you get here? I thought you were in a jungle somewhere."
"I came back. I was on my honeymoon when I got word—"
Buffy felt her innards tie in a knot. "Honeymoon?"
He smiled, "Yeah, I got married."
"Good for you," Spike said. "Hadn't you better be getting back to Mrs. Captain Cardboard then?"
"Spike, shut up," Buffy told him. "So where is this mystery girl. Do I get to meet her?"
"Of course. I just wanted to surprise you myself first." He looked distastefully at Spike. "It would appear I was the one who got the surprise. When did all this happen?"
Spike put an arm around Buffy. "A little over a month ago. Isn't it funny how things change when a person leaves?"
"Well Buffy, I'm happy you found someone, really I am." He didn't look quite convinced of the words he was saying. "Spike, you'll forgive me if I don't shake your hand."
Spike smirked. "Yeah, I can understand that. Wouldn't want to start getting Buffy on your hands now – ow!"
Buffy elbowed him to cut him off. "Riley, can we step outside and talk real quick?"
"Sure."
"If you think I'm just going to stand by while you . . ." Spike began to protest. Buffy stopped him with a quick peck on the lips.
"I'll be back in a little bit, ok Spike?"
"Does it matter?" Spike asked. The answer was clearly no, for Riley and Buffy left him alone in his crypt. "Sodding poof!" he mumbled, lighting a cigarette.
* * *
"So . . . wow. Wow. I mean, I always sensed an attraction between you guys, but I never actually thought you two would . . ."
"Me either," Buffy admitted. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about. What brought you here? Are you in trouble?"
"I'm looking for a demon."
"Here in Sunnydale we have a wide selection."
Riley laughed. "No, a specific demon. His name is Falcnorn. He's a big red guy, with horns, three arms and one leg. The description ringing any bells?"
"Not really, but I can look into it for you."
"I thought maybe Giles could . . ."
"He's gone," she told him, "living relatively monster free in England."
"It's so weird being back. Everything is so different."
"And now you're married. Tell me, are you happy?"
Riley smiled, "Very. Look, let's not have any hard feelings, ok? We both know it never would have worked with each other. I can't say I'm exactly ecstatic over you choice in men, but I hope it works out."
Somehow, I don't see that happening, Buffy thought. "I hope it works out for you too."
"So how are the others dealing with you two? I always got the impression they didn't like Spike so much."
Buffy's face fell. "They don't exactly know."
Riley stopped in his tracks. "What do you mean they don't know?"
"Well Tara knows, and you. You know. I haven't really told the others yet." Buffy found the ground suddenly incredibly interesting to stare at.
"Are you two sneaking around?" Buffy's silence was answer enough for him. "Buffy, you have to tell them. This isn't like you, and it isn't good for you," Riley said.
"They wouldn't understand," Buffy replied.
"You don't know that. I understand, don't I?" Buffy nodded. "I mean, I'm not exactly singing Zip-i-dee-doo-dah about it, but I understand. Give them a chance."
"I can't tell them. I just can't ok? Please don't say anything," Buffy pleaded with him.
"I won't," he promised, "but Buffy? I know it isn't any of my business or anything, but as someone who still cares for you I have to say that if you don't want anyone knowing about you and Spike, maybe there's a reason."
"What do you mean?"
"You belong with someone you don't have to be ashamed of. You deserve that much."
"It's complicated," she explained.
"Yeah, I know. Life always is. Look, why don't we get together later? You can meet my wife Samantha, and I can give you the lowdown on my demon, ok?"
"That sounds like a plan. It was good to see you again Riley." Buffy gave him a hug goodbye.
As she walked back to Spike's crypt, she kept thinking over Riley's words. How much longer could she live with meeting Spike on the sly?
She came back inside to finish what she and Spike had begun before they were so rudely interrupted. But her mind was clearly elsewhere.
* * *
Buffy had wanted to hate Samantha, but she was really quite a sweet girl. The three of them had gone out for coffee. Buffy felt horribly jealous, each touch and glance shared between the newlyweds made Buffy wish that it was she Riley had married. Not that she loved him. Though Buffy had cared for him deeply, love had never really entered the picture on her side. What Buffy longed for was a healthy, normal relationship. Something she wasn't sure she would ever have.
She entered Spike's crypt.
"Spike, we need to talk."
"What about Luv?" he asked.
"About us."
His brightened. "So there's an us now, is there?"
"No, there isn't."
Spike's newly brightened mood went straight to Hell. "What exactly is it about the non-existent us that you wanted to discuss?"
"I care for you Spike, but I can't keep living like this. I want a real relationship."
"So let's have a real relationship. Bloody hell woman, I'm all for it!" Spike told her.
"Spike, you're a vampire, I'm a slayer. Trust me when I say that these things never work out."
"I'm not Angel!" he yelled. "What does it take to make you understand that?"
"No, you're not Angel." Buffy sat down on the bed beside him. "Look we had fun."
"Fun," he said bitterly.
"And I'll never forget you, or the things we shared. But to keep pretending this could turn into anything lasting. The longer we hold on, the harder it'll be to let go."
"You're breaking my heart, you know that Pet?" Spike asked her.
Buffy felt her own heart break. "I know, and I'm sorry Spike."
"You're sure? There's no chance I can change you're mind?"
"I'm sure."
Spike put his hands on her hips and gave her a soft kiss. "Goodbye then Luv."
Buffy returned his farewell kiss. "Goodbye Spike."
As Buffy walked away from the crypt, she felt something in her pocket. She reached in and pulled out Spike's lighter. It was the one she had tried to keep those many weeks ago. He must have slipped it in her pocket while they had kissed.
Part Two: Save Me A Dance
Seeing Spike at the wedding ceremony with another woman was difficult for Buffy.
"Buffy, you know Halfrek." Spike said, making the official introductions, "Halfrek, Buffy."
"You're the one who wrecked my birthday," Buffy said, remembering Halfrek all to well. "I never really repaid you for that, did I." She began to reach into her handbag in search of a weapon.
"Ladies, ladies let's not have a scene. Hallie is here strictly for social reasons."
"I try not to reek vengeance on Saturdays anyway. Everyone needs a day off," Halfrek added.
"Spike, can I talk to you for a second?" Buffy asked.
"Didn't figure we had anything left to chat about, Luv." he paused, correcting himself. "Slayer."
"We're going to talk, now," Buffy told him, forcibly pulling him aside. "Excuse me."
"Fine, you've got me. What's this about?"
"What did you bring her here for? She's trouble."
An expression of surprise slowly spread over his face. "You're jealous! Fancy that."
"I am . . . not. Well maybe a little. That's not the point. She's dangerous. What if she tries something on Dawn or Anya?"
Spike put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Look, she's promised to behave. And I like her. It's bloody hard to find a date when you're a defanged vampire." He glanced around in search of Buffy's date. "You came alone?"
"I thought I'd take a break from men . . . for a while. Xander and Anya offered to fix me up, but their tastes and mine somewhat differ."
"Good for you," he told her, half meaning it. "Look, I'm not here to fight, alright? Can we try to get along, at least for the day?"
"We can try, but I'm not promising anything."
* * *
Later, at the wedding reception, Buffy was packing in a piece of cake. If she couldn't have a healthy relationship with another human being, the least she could do was have some sugar.
Xander approached her. She threw her arms around him.
"I can't believe you're really married!" she told him.
"I can't believe it either," he admitted. "It's wonderful, isn't it?" Buffy gave him a smile. "So, planning to hit the dance floor?"
Buffy's expression was grim. "I was more thinking of pulling a wallflower with this one."
"I'm afraid wallflowering is strictly forbidden at this particular function."
That earned a laugh from Buffy, who agreed to attempt swing dancing with him. Xander had been taking lessons with Anya, and wasn't half bad. Buffy kept tripping over her feet trying to accomplish the steps.
But nevertheless they had fun, and Buffy's mood lifted slightly. She was soon back at the sidelines though, lurking once more in the shadows.
Wind Beneath My Wings began to play, with Tara at the microphone singing. Buffy closed her eyes. It brought to mind a rush of memories.
"They're playing our song, Slayer," a familiar voice said. She opened her eyes. Spike took her hand. "C'mon just one dance, for old time's sake."
"But we've never danced before," Buffy said.
"In our own way we have." He gave her a soft smile, and led her out on the dance floor.
They began to slow dance. Spike was tender and gentle, perhaps for the first time displaying no improper behavior. As then moved in closer to each other, they fell into their rhythm, swaying together.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face?
You've been content to let me shine,
You always walked a step behind.
I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strength,
Only a face without a name,
I never once heard you complain.
Buffy and Spike locked eyes. It was comforting to be in his arms once more. More than anything in the world she wanted to kiss him. But Buffy knew where that would lead, and it was a path that she had sworn off of. She diverted her gaze and rested her head on his shoulder, wishing they could exist in that dance forever.
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
And everything I'd like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings!
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But I've got it all here in my heart!
I want you to know I know the truth,
I would be nothin' without you!
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
And everything I'd like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
You are the wind beneath my wings!
Willow had glanced up from her own dance with Giles, noticing for the first time the connection forming between them. Buffy looked at Spike in the same way she used to look at Angel. No, not in exactly the same way. There was an added desperation between the two former lovers that Buffy and Angel had never had.
Looks like Buffy's fallen for another vampire, Willow thought. This could be interesting.
The song ended, and Spike reluctantly parted from her arms.
"Thanks for the dance Slayer," he told her.
"I'm not through with you yet," Buffy said, as the band went into a rousing rendition of Macho Man. "C'mon, lets get our freak on!"
Spike followed her lead. The vampire could move as well as he fought. They had a great time, just boogying and being silly.
"Well Slayer, I had a lovely time. Best get back to Hallie before she decides to turn me into a toad or whatnot."
"Buffy," she corrected.
"What?"
"Call me Buffy. That's what the rest of my friends call me."
It was peace offering, which Spike gratefully accepted.
"Well, Buffy," he repeated, liking the sound of it, "I should be going. Take care."
"You too," she replied, watching him walk away from her and towards Halfrek.
I am a fool, Buffy thought, but at least I'm a fool who is standing my ground.
Part Three: A Movie
"So we're all going to the bronze tonight for a little alchy-hol and a lot of dancing. You wanna come?" Willow asked Buffy, as they looked through clothes at Forever 21.
"Tempted but no. I've already got plans," Buffy told her.
"Oooooh, secret rendezvous?" Willow gave her a little elbow nudge.
"Hardly. Spike was gonna come over and maybe watch a movie."
Willow grinned mischievously. "Like a date?"
Buffy nearly dropped the little black dress she had been admiring. "What are you talking about? Did Spike say something . . ."
"I've just noticed that you two have been spending a lot of time together lately." Buffy and Spike had indeed been hanging out a lot, but they neither of them had even attempted to make a move on the other.
"We're friends now," Buffy said firmly. "Nothing more."
"Come on, you don't like him even a little? I mean he is kinda hot with the leather and the blond hair . . ." Willow began. Buffy raised an eyebrow. "I may be gay, but I still have eyes. I see how you look at him when you think no one is watching."
Buffy finally did drop the top, and bent down to pick it up, her heart racing. "Look Will, whatever may have happened in the past, I'm over him."
"So you were under him?"
"What I mean is," Buffy hurriedly covered, "the spell you cast where you made us want to get married, it may have gotten me to thinking once or twice. But it wouldn't work. Me and vampires equal trouble."
Willow grew solemn. "Look, I was just teasing ok? I didn't think that . . . God how could I have been so stupid? I should have known better than to say those sorts of things after what happened with Angel. I'm sorry."
"It's ok Will." Buffy gave her hand a little squeeze. She spotted a rack of pretty pastel sweaters. She faked perkiness. "These would look so cute on you!"
* * *
Buffy and Spike were at her house, watching a horror movie.
"I could so kick this psycho killer's ass," she told him.
"Without a doubt. The stupid wanker is going about it all wrong. Don't announce you're going to kill her, just bloody do it!"
"And what's with the damsel's in distress?" she asked. "Can't they look were they are running? There's always some big breasted blond who trips," the girl on the screen tripped as Buffy spoke, "on a tree root or something."
"Either that or they go straight to the basement. And everyone knows that evil nasties always hide in the basement," Spike pointed out. "More popcorn?" He offered her the bowl.
"I shouldn't," she said, grabbing a large handful and munching on it. "I'm gonna get all big and fat and have to go out shopping again for a new wardrobe."
"Oh shopping, we all know how much you loathe to do that," he teased.
She playfully punched his chest. He caught her hands, stopping her. "Un-uh-uh," he scolded, and began to tickle her. She fought back, and with in moments they were waging a full-fledged tickle war.
"Stop," Buffy told him, gasping for air between giggles, "I can't breathe!"
"Lucky for me I don't have to breathe," he said, letting her go. They caught each other's gaze. Their faces were only inches apart.
He's going to kiss me, Buffy thought. Oh please, merciful Zeus, let him kiss me!
Instead, Spike pulled away. "Oh bloody hell, he killed another victim while we were fighting. Do you want me to rewind?"
"Yes," Buffy said. She realized she wasn't talking about the movie. "I mean, just stop the movie for a second."
Spike put the film on pause. "You alright Buffy?" He was concerned. Buffy had so swiftly changed from giddy to serious.
"Spike, this last month has been great. Spending time with you, being friends with you . . . it's nice."
"I've had fun too. It's good to have a friend after so many years of being a loner."
"The thing is," she continued, "we aren't *really* friends though, are we?"
"What are you talking about Buffy, of course we're friends."
Buffy looked him in the eye. "Are you still in love with me?"
"Yes," he admitted, "but that doesn't mean we can't . . ."
She couldn't deny it any longer. "And I'm still in love with you."
Spike was a bit taken aback. She was still in love with him? She had been in love with him to begin with?!
"So what are you saying?" he asked her. "Are you saying we can't be around each other? Because if that's the case then just stake me right now and put me out of my misery. I need you in my unlife Buffy."
Buffy took his hands in hers. "What I'm saying is that I want more. God help me, I don't want to want it, but I do. Do you know what I mean?"
Spike nodded. "All too well. What then? Are we back to stolen kisses and shagging in the shadows again?"
"Well we could, you know, try dating. See if it works?"
"You sure that's what you want, Luv?"
Buffy smiled. "You called me Luv." Amazing how one little word could make her heart melt so. "And yes, that's what I want."
"What about normal relationships?"
"Well," Buffy said slowly, "I'm not exactly a normal girl, now am I?"
"No, you're not," Spike agreed. He brushed a few stray hairs out of her face. "Can I kiss you now?"
"You'd better." Spike leaned in a kissed her. They slowly fell back on the couch, their lips never parting. The bad horror movie was all but forgotten.