Interviewer: Hello from the Interview Channel, we are at the Independence
Inn. Today we will try to get information from one of its employees. You
know, the life of someone in Independence Inn (Looks around the lounge and
sees a person at the desk) Hey, you!
Michel: Hello I don't know you ,and I don't want to.
Interviewer: Well, we know you so we'll say our names. I'm the incredible Interviewer and the camera guy is Frank and we're from the Interview Channel. And you want to talk to us.
Michel: No, I am someone who doesn't want to talk to you.
Interviewer: I know that you want to talk to us. You really want to talk to us.
Michel: I know that I don't.
Interviewer: Yes you do! Or we'll tell all the people in TV land your deepest and darkest secrets.
Michel: You don't know my secrets. I have no secrets! I am an open book.
Interviewer: Yes you do! And, I know them all! (Laughs loudly)
Michel: NO, I don't! (I stop laughing)
Interviewer: Yes, you do! You have lots of secrets.
Michel: NO, I don't!
Interviewer: Yes, you do!
Frank: Incredible Interviewer, don't say the same things over and over again. Watchers don't want to hear that for the next hour.
Interviewer: Don't annoy me Frank or I'll tell everyone your secrets. (Frank looks scared and shuts up) Yes folks, I even know my camera guy's secrets.
Michel: Can you go now? I don't like you and I have work.
Interviewer: Two things: one, what work? And two, so what? And FYI I don't like you either. You're nothing but a loser.
Michel: I'm not a loser! And if I was then why are you bothering me.
Interviewer: Yes, you are a loser. You are the biggest loser in the world and the only reason I'm bothering you is because I can! (Starts laughing uncontrollably)
Michel: Please gets away from my desk and stay away from me. I don't want you in my presence.
Interviewer: Not until we get an interview. I want an interview.
Michel: Fine, but then you will have to leave me alone. I don't want you here again.
Interviewer: What, I didn't understand you with that accent of yours. (Michel's face goes psycho and I giggle)
Michel: Okay I am leaving and you are leaving too.
Interviewer: Hey you told me that we were getting an interview so unless you have anything else to do, you'll have to do the interview.
Michel: Fine, I will do the interview.
Interviewer: Good, lets get started with the interview. I want to sit down. Let's go into the sitting area where that harpist is playing.
Michel: I would rather not go there. That woman is a psycho. She wants to kill me with her harp.
Interviewer: Whatever, but I don't care. She can kill you for all I care as long as we get an interview. Anyways, I want to sit. (We sit down as Michel makes a stupid mad face) Stop making that face, or I'll make you take it off!
Michel: I would like to see you try that. (Rory enters the sitting area)
Rory: I wouldn't do that Michel! She's a crazed freak! She stunned Tristan Dugray on live TV with a stun gun!
Michel: (Face is back to normal) Fine, I will stop. Start asking questions or I will start making that face again. And when you hurt me, I will sue you afterwards.
Interviewer: (After Rory leaves I start) Michel, who do you like most about the Gilmore family?
Michel: Emily Gilmore. She is obviously the most refined of all the Gilmore females. Lorelai is not her mother whereas Rory is defiantly her mother's daughter.
Interviewer: Okay, you could have just said Emily Gilmore, you know. You talk too much!
Michel: WHAT, I don't talk too much! What are you talking about? I don't talk too much. (Looks at Frank) Do I talk too much? I don't think I talk too much! I don't talk too much!
Interviewer: See, you are talking right now!
Michel: SO!
Interviewer: STOP! (I give him my meanest face and he stops talking) Anyway, why do you like Emily Gilmore?
Michel: Because she is the most refined out of all of them.
Interviewer: OKAY, you obviously don't know them much.
Michel: I know enough to know that Lorelai is not a lady. And obviously her daughter must not be one too.
Interviewer: Are you sure you like her because of that because I think that you like-her-like-her.
Michel: (face scrunches up) WHAT!?!?! I am not interested in her. I just think she is someone I can speak to without being irritated. Plus we have a big age different.
Interviewer: Having chemistry it to many, unlike you, is something that makes people interested. And who cares about age difference! Besides you went to that bachelorette party.
Michel: So what has that got to do with anything?
Interviewer: Emily was there.
Michel: So? There was also Rory, Lorelai and that horrible woman who they call a cook. I swear they just hired her because they don't want me to have my normal eggs.
Interviewer: I don't think so. Sookie is great! I love her cooking. The only reason you don't like her is because you don't like normal people food. Health junkie!
Michel: SO what if I am a health junkie. I am proud to be a health nut!
Interviewer: Well you are a weird. And you like Emily Gilmore and you are a dumbo for thinking that Sookie is a horrible cook. You are the horrible person!
Michel: Well you are wrong! You are really wrong! Wrong. Wrong, wrong!!!!!!!
Interviewer: I am never wrong. I am always right. My fortune cookie said so! LOOK! (Pulls out a piece of paper with small writing on it) See it says, "You are always right." See! (Michel refuses to look) Fine, it's your loss. You will never get to see the truth!
Michel: Well boo-hoo.
Interviewer: Go one cry, I know that you are really hurts inside. (Michel rolls his eyes) Don't roll your eyes at me! I'm the one who is supposed to do that to people. After all I am the incredible Interviewer! (Michel gets out of his seat) And that goes for walking out on people. (Looks at Frank) Frank, I want to get out of here. Michel was mean. He wasn't cooperative.
Frank: No, you have to keep talking or we'll get cancelled. I don't want to be out of a job.
Interviewer: Fine I'll get that interview. (Heads to the front desk and drags Michel to the lounge for the interview) Michel, you're not going anywhere until you answer my questions. OK!? And it doesn't matter if you say yes, because I will still make you say yes.
Michel: (Looks scared for a second and then gives in) Fine, I will do the interview. I will be on TV anyway so I will.
Interviewer: First question: how do you like it here in Stars Hollow?
Michel: I think that I should have stayed in France.
Interviewer: Well I think that you should have too! (Coughs come from Frank)
Michel: You are annoying me. Next question.
Interviewer: (Smoke is coming from my eats) Moving on………… (grinding teeth) Do you think that Stars Hollow is a stupid place?
Michel: Yes I think that the place is stupid. I really wish that I were back home in France.
Interviewer: Do you like the people in this town?
Michel: No, I liked the people in France.
Interviewer: Do you like the people here in Stars Hollow?
Michel: NO! They are all stupid. French people are much smarter. We are all smart compared to Americans.
Interviewer: What? Americans are smarter! We won the war! The Allies are the ones who had won the war.
Michel: Did I say that I was a Nazi? I'm not German. I'm French and the French are smarter!
Interviewer: Wrong and stop it with the France thing. You aren't really from France. You're really from some place in New Jersey, aren't you, admit it!
Michel: I am not!
Interviewer: Yes, you are. ADMIT IT, YOU PSYCHO!
Michel: Admit what? I've got nothing to admit! (More coughing) Next question.
Interviewer: FINE! The next question: Are you gay?
Michel: No, I am not gay. I like women.
Interviewer: No you don't. You like guys. Admit! Admit! You are really gay. Gay as anyone can be gay! (Michel looks really creeped out and is about to pop)
Michel: Okay, I admit it. (Only he said it with no accent) I am gay and I am really from Colorado. And this suit, it isn't from Armani, it's PC- Penny! (He starts crying into my arms as I pat his head to comfort him)
Interviewer: WOW, I didn't really think that you were gay. I just thought that you were really creepy and that your accent wasn't really. I really actually thought that you were straight. I guess this comes to show that you will never really know. You were actually gay! (I start giggling under my breath and Michel gets out off my lap)
Michel: You mean that you were just trying to annoy me? (I nod) What! I just admitted my sexuality on live TV for no reason! (Tries to choke me but I get out of my seat before he can get me)
Interviewer: Get away from me you creep! You're a creep! (Mouths to Frank if I can go)
Michel: No I need to tell everyone that I am not gay.
Interviewer: But you are gay and I can't let you take it back! Until I find a better person to interview, Buh-bye!
Michel: NO! I need to take it back! I need to let men know that I don't really want them.
Interviewer: Yes you want to come out and stay out. And I'm getting out of here. Frank, GET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT TO GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA! (Michel goes in front of the camera trying to tell everyone that he is not really gay) Frank, get him off the camera and run!
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well anyway, I need to cut to the chase. I just realized after a phone call with one of my friends that my social studies speech on Jane Addams wasn't due until two weeks from now. I never knew that. So pretty much that made me think that I shouldn't be writing this chapter. Thus resulting in a not so funny yet still insane chapter. Last but not least, hope you liked it and are in the process of reviewing.
Michel: Hello I don't know you ,and I don't want to.
Interviewer: Well, we know you so we'll say our names. I'm the incredible Interviewer and the camera guy is Frank and we're from the Interview Channel. And you want to talk to us.
Michel: No, I am someone who doesn't want to talk to you.
Interviewer: I know that you want to talk to us. You really want to talk to us.
Michel: I know that I don't.
Interviewer: Yes you do! Or we'll tell all the people in TV land your deepest and darkest secrets.
Michel: You don't know my secrets. I have no secrets! I am an open book.
Interviewer: Yes you do! And, I know them all! (Laughs loudly)
Michel: NO, I don't! (I stop laughing)
Interviewer: Yes, you do! You have lots of secrets.
Michel: NO, I don't!
Interviewer: Yes, you do!
Frank: Incredible Interviewer, don't say the same things over and over again. Watchers don't want to hear that for the next hour.
Interviewer: Don't annoy me Frank or I'll tell everyone your secrets. (Frank looks scared and shuts up) Yes folks, I even know my camera guy's secrets.
Michel: Can you go now? I don't like you and I have work.
Interviewer: Two things: one, what work? And two, so what? And FYI I don't like you either. You're nothing but a loser.
Michel: I'm not a loser! And if I was then why are you bothering me.
Interviewer: Yes, you are a loser. You are the biggest loser in the world and the only reason I'm bothering you is because I can! (Starts laughing uncontrollably)
Michel: Please gets away from my desk and stay away from me. I don't want you in my presence.
Interviewer: Not until we get an interview. I want an interview.
Michel: Fine, but then you will have to leave me alone. I don't want you here again.
Interviewer: What, I didn't understand you with that accent of yours. (Michel's face goes psycho and I giggle)
Michel: Okay I am leaving and you are leaving too.
Interviewer: Hey you told me that we were getting an interview so unless you have anything else to do, you'll have to do the interview.
Michel: Fine, I will do the interview.
Interviewer: Good, lets get started with the interview. I want to sit down. Let's go into the sitting area where that harpist is playing.
Michel: I would rather not go there. That woman is a psycho. She wants to kill me with her harp.
Interviewer: Whatever, but I don't care. She can kill you for all I care as long as we get an interview. Anyways, I want to sit. (We sit down as Michel makes a stupid mad face) Stop making that face, or I'll make you take it off!
Michel: I would like to see you try that. (Rory enters the sitting area)
Rory: I wouldn't do that Michel! She's a crazed freak! She stunned Tristan Dugray on live TV with a stun gun!
Michel: (Face is back to normal) Fine, I will stop. Start asking questions or I will start making that face again. And when you hurt me, I will sue you afterwards.
Interviewer: (After Rory leaves I start) Michel, who do you like most about the Gilmore family?
Michel: Emily Gilmore. She is obviously the most refined of all the Gilmore females. Lorelai is not her mother whereas Rory is defiantly her mother's daughter.
Interviewer: Okay, you could have just said Emily Gilmore, you know. You talk too much!
Michel: WHAT, I don't talk too much! What are you talking about? I don't talk too much. (Looks at Frank) Do I talk too much? I don't think I talk too much! I don't talk too much!
Interviewer: See, you are talking right now!
Michel: SO!
Interviewer: STOP! (I give him my meanest face and he stops talking) Anyway, why do you like Emily Gilmore?
Michel: Because she is the most refined out of all of them.
Interviewer: OKAY, you obviously don't know them much.
Michel: I know enough to know that Lorelai is not a lady. And obviously her daughter must not be one too.
Interviewer: Are you sure you like her because of that because I think that you like-her-like-her.
Michel: (face scrunches up) WHAT!?!?! I am not interested in her. I just think she is someone I can speak to without being irritated. Plus we have a big age different.
Interviewer: Having chemistry it to many, unlike you, is something that makes people interested. And who cares about age difference! Besides you went to that bachelorette party.
Michel: So what has that got to do with anything?
Interviewer: Emily was there.
Michel: So? There was also Rory, Lorelai and that horrible woman who they call a cook. I swear they just hired her because they don't want me to have my normal eggs.
Interviewer: I don't think so. Sookie is great! I love her cooking. The only reason you don't like her is because you don't like normal people food. Health junkie!
Michel: SO what if I am a health junkie. I am proud to be a health nut!
Interviewer: Well you are a weird. And you like Emily Gilmore and you are a dumbo for thinking that Sookie is a horrible cook. You are the horrible person!
Michel: Well you are wrong! You are really wrong! Wrong. Wrong, wrong!!!!!!!
Interviewer: I am never wrong. I am always right. My fortune cookie said so! LOOK! (Pulls out a piece of paper with small writing on it) See it says, "You are always right." See! (Michel refuses to look) Fine, it's your loss. You will never get to see the truth!
Michel: Well boo-hoo.
Interviewer: Go one cry, I know that you are really hurts inside. (Michel rolls his eyes) Don't roll your eyes at me! I'm the one who is supposed to do that to people. After all I am the incredible Interviewer! (Michel gets out of his seat) And that goes for walking out on people. (Looks at Frank) Frank, I want to get out of here. Michel was mean. He wasn't cooperative.
Frank: No, you have to keep talking or we'll get cancelled. I don't want to be out of a job.
Interviewer: Fine I'll get that interview. (Heads to the front desk and drags Michel to the lounge for the interview) Michel, you're not going anywhere until you answer my questions. OK!? And it doesn't matter if you say yes, because I will still make you say yes.
Michel: (Looks scared for a second and then gives in) Fine, I will do the interview. I will be on TV anyway so I will.
Interviewer: First question: how do you like it here in Stars Hollow?
Michel: I think that I should have stayed in France.
Interviewer: Well I think that you should have too! (Coughs come from Frank)
Michel: You are annoying me. Next question.
Interviewer: (Smoke is coming from my eats) Moving on………… (grinding teeth) Do you think that Stars Hollow is a stupid place?
Michel: Yes I think that the place is stupid. I really wish that I were back home in France.
Interviewer: Do you like the people in this town?
Michel: No, I liked the people in France.
Interviewer: Do you like the people here in Stars Hollow?
Michel: NO! They are all stupid. French people are much smarter. We are all smart compared to Americans.
Interviewer: What? Americans are smarter! We won the war! The Allies are the ones who had won the war.
Michel: Did I say that I was a Nazi? I'm not German. I'm French and the French are smarter!
Interviewer: Wrong and stop it with the France thing. You aren't really from France. You're really from some place in New Jersey, aren't you, admit it!
Michel: I am not!
Interviewer: Yes, you are. ADMIT IT, YOU PSYCHO!
Michel: Admit what? I've got nothing to admit! (More coughing) Next question.
Interviewer: FINE! The next question: Are you gay?
Michel: No, I am not gay. I like women.
Interviewer: No you don't. You like guys. Admit! Admit! You are really gay. Gay as anyone can be gay! (Michel looks really creeped out and is about to pop)
Michel: Okay, I admit it. (Only he said it with no accent) I am gay and I am really from Colorado. And this suit, it isn't from Armani, it's PC- Penny! (He starts crying into my arms as I pat his head to comfort him)
Interviewer: WOW, I didn't really think that you were gay. I just thought that you were really creepy and that your accent wasn't really. I really actually thought that you were straight. I guess this comes to show that you will never really know. You were actually gay! (I start giggling under my breath and Michel gets out off my lap)
Michel: You mean that you were just trying to annoy me? (I nod) What! I just admitted my sexuality on live TV for no reason! (Tries to choke me but I get out of my seat before he can get me)
Interviewer: Get away from me you creep! You're a creep! (Mouths to Frank if I can go)
Michel: No I need to tell everyone that I am not gay.
Interviewer: But you are gay and I can't let you take it back! Until I find a better person to interview, Buh-bye!
Michel: NO! I need to take it back! I need to let men know that I don't really want them.
Interviewer: Yes you want to come out and stay out. And I'm getting out of here. Frank, GET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT TO GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA! (Michel goes in front of the camera trying to tell everyone that he is not really gay) Frank, get him off the camera and run!
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well anyway, I need to cut to the chase. I just realized after a phone call with one of my friends that my social studies speech on Jane Addams wasn't due until two weeks from now. I never knew that. So pretty much that made me think that I shouldn't be writing this chapter. Thus resulting in a not so funny yet still insane chapter. Last but not least, hope you liked it and are in the process of reviewing.