Orchids & Ice
A Slayers Fanfic
By Yukishiro Megumi
Disclaimer: I'd say I own them, but I'd probably be besieged by the one thing more terrifying that a hungry Lina: lawyers. So I *don't*. Hear that, Lawyer people?! I DON'T OWN THEM DAMMIT! Heh…maybe Xelloss' shadow should eat them [Shameless plug: The last comment was a reference to AmethystAngel's "The S Files". Go read them, they're funny! And while you're at it, go visit her Hamlet: The Manga site. I guarantee a laugh.]
Warning: If you don't like self-inserts, don't read. This isn't even a real one, since I just smacked my name on the newbie. (I'll admit it, I like Zel lots. But I really was too lazy to make a new name. Honest! Iyaaa! Put down the pitchforks!) And…eto…blood? Not to mention that I don't have a sense of humor. At least that's what I think. If you think otherwise, I appreciate it?
Reviews: I'll make kawaii sad puppy eyes and cry forever and ever if you don't review! Just a sentence will do!
Flames? Or does the author have an allergy to them?: Bring 'em on. They're funnier than my stories.
Now for the fic! IKKUSEI!
The morning brought the smells of hams, cheeses, fruits and…wait…ah, yes….
"Coffee," sighed Zel happily. He grinned and gratefully held up his mug for the passing waitress. "Arigato. You just saved my life."
"Um…sure thing," said the passing waitress with befuddlement as a few sunny-side-up eggs whizzed overhead. They were soon followed by two hefty spoonfuls of, oddly enough, whipped cream [1]. Dodging an incoming attack of bacon from above, the waitress hurried off to a more peaceful side of the room that lacked either crossfire or a small war.
"I CLAIMED THAT FIRST, BAKA JELLYFISH-BRAINS, AND YOU KNOW IT!" bellowed Lina, savagely ripping a fat sausage off of Gourry's fork.
"No fair, Lina! You claimed it off *my* plate!" cried Gourry, inhaling two large waffles.
"In the name of Justice, I shall confiscate that juicy—I mean, innocent sausage from your unjust clutches!" Amelia declared, clocking Lina with a nearby water jug and seizing the breakfast item in question. Lina, fangs bared in full Dra-Mata mode, executed an amazing drop kick onto Amelia while snatching the sausage and downing her umpteenth bagel. A few jokers in the back clapped.
Zel deftly moved his head from a large pancake's trajectory with a frown, visibly upset. It was not that he hadn't become accustomed to the "eating" habits faithfully maintained by his friends. They were long familiar to him now and (sadly enough) his evasive maneuvers were all reflexive. That tired, drained feeling had to be getting to him. That was it. He had to exert an unusual amount of effort to even lift his hands, as he observed, and it was all he could do to keep his head from rolling onto his shoulder. He glared accusingly at his cream-colored mug of steaming java.
"Must be the chikuso coffee," he muttered. "It's weaker than water." Discreetly, he sat a little farther back in his chair and flexed his leg muscles to rid them of that funny drained feeling. Nope, he thought inwardly, it still feels strange.
A deathly chill overtook him.
He gave a sharp, startled gasp. It zipped up his spine and overwhelmed his body to the tips of his stone fingers, drawing all breath away. The coffee cup he held shattered on the floor, abruptly released from a rigid grasp [2].
"Shimatta, what the hell's wrong now, Zel?" blurted Lina after swallowing food. "Zel? Zelgadis? Ara…."
Nothing would get a response from him. Arched backwards over the chair and aqua eyes transfixed, he stared at the ceiling, beyond the reach of any outside stimulus. Inside, his lungs seemed to malfunction and it became harder for him to draw breath. Not even a facial muscle twitched. Amelia ran to him, trying to snap him out of the trance.
"Wake up! Oh please be all right, just WAKE UP!" she panicked. As soon as her fingers touched the rocky skin of his hand, she recoiled in shock. "Lina-san, his skin! It's too hot!" She quickly felt his forehead, not even eliciting the usual protest. "He's never usually this hot! He's practically burning up!"
People began to twist around in chairs to see what was causing the disruption, while other merely ignored the scene. The inn-owner, concerned with the image a possible food-poisoning incident would give his humble tavern, hid in the closet before anyone could blame him.
Zel began to tremble uncontrollably, though it seemed he still could not move at will. The chair he sat in began to tilt progressively to the side.
Lina sprang away from her seat. "Gourry, quick!"
"Right, Lina!" exclaimed Gourry.
Lina noted in passing that she hadn't even finished telling him her instructions though he understood. Swiftly positioning himself beside Zelgadis, the blond swordsman easily caught his friend before the chair pitched to the ground completely. Lina motioned for Gourry to lay the stunned, tremoring chimera gently on the ground. Taking off Zel's long beige cloak, she fashioned a makeshift pillow for his head. Amelia fluttered nearby in a state of utter worry, abandoning her food for her (perceived) itoshii's side. By this time, all available, functioning eyes in the inn were on them.
Gourry crouched down lower over Zel's head with a puzzled expression. "Lina? I think he's saying something, but it's not coming out." Surely enough, the chimera seemed to be silently mouthing syllables, or at least trying to. He pushed long golden locks behind his ears. "Say, you read what that Rubia chick was saying at What's-his-face's place last time. Can you do it again?"
Lina's hackles rose with the addition of the word "chick" to Rubia [3], but she reluctantly restrained her fist. He was, amazingly, right in assuming she could lip-read. "I'll give it a shot…." Her brows knitted together in concentration. "He keeps saying 'gomen', though I have no clue why he's apologizing. Wait…now it's something else…'ai'…ai? Just ai? Aha, he's saying something more…'forever…aishiteru'!" Lina blinked in shock, speechless. Was the chimera-boy professing his love for her? Granted she was beautiful, talented, and a sorcery genius, but her heart was not Zel's—
"…Megumi…," he choked before falling completely unconscious. (AN: Houston, we have an insert….)
Oh, okay, it was some other girl.
Some other girl.
Wait.
Zel?
And another girl?
Lina prodded Amelia's shoulder. "Anou, Amelia. Has he ever mentioned a 'Megumi' to you in any of your conversations?"
Amelia sniffed. "Why would he when he's attracted to the justice- loving heart of another?"
Lina sweatdropped. "Eh? I wasn't talking about *dream* conversations, kid, I meant *real* ones. So never mind. But who is she? Why did he mumble that name when he's in such pain? What the hell is he doing in pain anyway?"
"Now that's not a secret, Lina-san!" exclaimed Xelloss, usual genki smile plastered to his face.
The group, including the curious masses of the breakfasting inn-goers (and except for Gourry, who was making bunny shadows on the wall with glee), all facefaulted while Lina snared the Mazoku in a very scary-looking headlock. A very scary-looking, chiropractic help-inducing headlock. Even though Xelloss probably liked it, masochist that he was, reflected Amelia.
"WHYINHELLCAN'TYOUJUSTWALKINLIKENORMALPEOPLEYOUBAKA?!" ranted Lina [4]. She allowed him to escape her grip when she noticed his grinning face was turning blue. "And because *you* seem to know what's going on here, you psychopathic bakayarou fruitcake, YOU will explain everything. Every. Single. Detail." She proceeded to throttle him, turning him alternating shades of red and purple. He finally managed to pry murderous gloved fingers from around his neck.
"Lina-san, first of all you know I'm not normal," he protested. Xelloss waited for Zel's typical comment about old news. He blinked, which took talent since his eyes were already closed. "Ara, he must be worse than I thought, not even one sarcastic peep…. Secondly, Zel-kun's illness is due to an obscure form of black magic being used by a powerful spell caster, who is getting nearer. He will be progressively worse since this spell becomes more concentrated around an object close by, no da [5]. Third, it would seem Zelgadis-kun is having flashbacks about his past at the moment, and from the yummy vibes I'm getting—"
Gourry made a surprised face. "Xelloss? What are *you* doing here?"
Xelloss ignored this."—they are not pleasant in the least…"
-TO BE CONTINUED-
[1] One comment: ORO?!!
[2] Don't worry, fans of Zel's ever-present coffee mug! I'll find another one for him! ^_^
[3] She's so obviously in love with poor Gourry. So obvious.
[4] Ahem. It reads: Why in hell can't you just walk in like normal people, you baka?!
[5] Okay, okay, so it was a blatant Chichirri comparison, omae o korosu! ::waves gun around Heero style::
A Slayers Fanfic
By Yukishiro Megumi
Disclaimer: I'd say I own them, but I'd probably be besieged by the one thing more terrifying that a hungry Lina: lawyers. So I *don't*. Hear that, Lawyer people?! I DON'T OWN THEM DAMMIT! Heh…maybe Xelloss' shadow should eat them [Shameless plug: The last comment was a reference to AmethystAngel's "The S Files". Go read them, they're funny! And while you're at it, go visit her Hamlet: The Manga site. I guarantee a laugh.]
Warning: If you don't like self-inserts, don't read. This isn't even a real one, since I just smacked my name on the newbie. (I'll admit it, I like Zel lots. But I really was too lazy to make a new name. Honest! Iyaaa! Put down the pitchforks!) And…eto…blood? Not to mention that I don't have a sense of humor. At least that's what I think. If you think otherwise, I appreciate it?
Reviews: I'll make kawaii sad puppy eyes and cry forever and ever if you don't review! Just a sentence will do!
Flames? Or does the author have an allergy to them?: Bring 'em on. They're funnier than my stories.
Now for the fic! IKKUSEI!
The morning brought the smells of hams, cheeses, fruits and…wait…ah, yes….
"Coffee," sighed Zel happily. He grinned and gratefully held up his mug for the passing waitress. "Arigato. You just saved my life."
"Um…sure thing," said the passing waitress with befuddlement as a few sunny-side-up eggs whizzed overhead. They were soon followed by two hefty spoonfuls of, oddly enough, whipped cream [1]. Dodging an incoming attack of bacon from above, the waitress hurried off to a more peaceful side of the room that lacked either crossfire or a small war.
"I CLAIMED THAT FIRST, BAKA JELLYFISH-BRAINS, AND YOU KNOW IT!" bellowed Lina, savagely ripping a fat sausage off of Gourry's fork.
"No fair, Lina! You claimed it off *my* plate!" cried Gourry, inhaling two large waffles.
"In the name of Justice, I shall confiscate that juicy—I mean, innocent sausage from your unjust clutches!" Amelia declared, clocking Lina with a nearby water jug and seizing the breakfast item in question. Lina, fangs bared in full Dra-Mata mode, executed an amazing drop kick onto Amelia while snatching the sausage and downing her umpteenth bagel. A few jokers in the back clapped.
Zel deftly moved his head from a large pancake's trajectory with a frown, visibly upset. It was not that he hadn't become accustomed to the "eating" habits faithfully maintained by his friends. They were long familiar to him now and (sadly enough) his evasive maneuvers were all reflexive. That tired, drained feeling had to be getting to him. That was it. He had to exert an unusual amount of effort to even lift his hands, as he observed, and it was all he could do to keep his head from rolling onto his shoulder. He glared accusingly at his cream-colored mug of steaming java.
"Must be the chikuso coffee," he muttered. "It's weaker than water." Discreetly, he sat a little farther back in his chair and flexed his leg muscles to rid them of that funny drained feeling. Nope, he thought inwardly, it still feels strange.
A deathly chill overtook him.
He gave a sharp, startled gasp. It zipped up his spine and overwhelmed his body to the tips of his stone fingers, drawing all breath away. The coffee cup he held shattered on the floor, abruptly released from a rigid grasp [2].
"Shimatta, what the hell's wrong now, Zel?" blurted Lina after swallowing food. "Zel? Zelgadis? Ara…."
Nothing would get a response from him. Arched backwards over the chair and aqua eyes transfixed, he stared at the ceiling, beyond the reach of any outside stimulus. Inside, his lungs seemed to malfunction and it became harder for him to draw breath. Not even a facial muscle twitched. Amelia ran to him, trying to snap him out of the trance.
"Wake up! Oh please be all right, just WAKE UP!" she panicked. As soon as her fingers touched the rocky skin of his hand, she recoiled in shock. "Lina-san, his skin! It's too hot!" She quickly felt his forehead, not even eliciting the usual protest. "He's never usually this hot! He's practically burning up!"
People began to twist around in chairs to see what was causing the disruption, while other merely ignored the scene. The inn-owner, concerned with the image a possible food-poisoning incident would give his humble tavern, hid in the closet before anyone could blame him.
Zel began to tremble uncontrollably, though it seemed he still could not move at will. The chair he sat in began to tilt progressively to the side.
Lina sprang away from her seat. "Gourry, quick!"
"Right, Lina!" exclaimed Gourry.
Lina noted in passing that she hadn't even finished telling him her instructions though he understood. Swiftly positioning himself beside Zelgadis, the blond swordsman easily caught his friend before the chair pitched to the ground completely. Lina motioned for Gourry to lay the stunned, tremoring chimera gently on the ground. Taking off Zel's long beige cloak, she fashioned a makeshift pillow for his head. Amelia fluttered nearby in a state of utter worry, abandoning her food for her (perceived) itoshii's side. By this time, all available, functioning eyes in the inn were on them.
Gourry crouched down lower over Zel's head with a puzzled expression. "Lina? I think he's saying something, but it's not coming out." Surely enough, the chimera seemed to be silently mouthing syllables, or at least trying to. He pushed long golden locks behind his ears. "Say, you read what that Rubia chick was saying at What's-his-face's place last time. Can you do it again?"
Lina's hackles rose with the addition of the word "chick" to Rubia [3], but she reluctantly restrained her fist. He was, amazingly, right in assuming she could lip-read. "I'll give it a shot…." Her brows knitted together in concentration. "He keeps saying 'gomen', though I have no clue why he's apologizing. Wait…now it's something else…'ai'…ai? Just ai? Aha, he's saying something more…'forever…aishiteru'!" Lina blinked in shock, speechless. Was the chimera-boy professing his love for her? Granted she was beautiful, talented, and a sorcery genius, but her heart was not Zel's—
"…Megumi…," he choked before falling completely unconscious. (AN: Houston, we have an insert….)
Oh, okay, it was some other girl.
Some other girl.
Wait.
Zel?
And another girl?
Lina prodded Amelia's shoulder. "Anou, Amelia. Has he ever mentioned a 'Megumi' to you in any of your conversations?"
Amelia sniffed. "Why would he when he's attracted to the justice- loving heart of another?"
Lina sweatdropped. "Eh? I wasn't talking about *dream* conversations, kid, I meant *real* ones. So never mind. But who is she? Why did he mumble that name when he's in such pain? What the hell is he doing in pain anyway?"
"Now that's not a secret, Lina-san!" exclaimed Xelloss, usual genki smile plastered to his face.
The group, including the curious masses of the breakfasting inn-goers (and except for Gourry, who was making bunny shadows on the wall with glee), all facefaulted while Lina snared the Mazoku in a very scary-looking headlock. A very scary-looking, chiropractic help-inducing headlock. Even though Xelloss probably liked it, masochist that he was, reflected Amelia.
"WHYINHELLCAN'TYOUJUSTWALKINLIKENORMALPEOPLEYOUBAKA?!" ranted Lina [4]. She allowed him to escape her grip when she noticed his grinning face was turning blue. "And because *you* seem to know what's going on here, you psychopathic bakayarou fruitcake, YOU will explain everything. Every. Single. Detail." She proceeded to throttle him, turning him alternating shades of red and purple. He finally managed to pry murderous gloved fingers from around his neck.
"Lina-san, first of all you know I'm not normal," he protested. Xelloss waited for Zel's typical comment about old news. He blinked, which took talent since his eyes were already closed. "Ara, he must be worse than I thought, not even one sarcastic peep…. Secondly, Zel-kun's illness is due to an obscure form of black magic being used by a powerful spell caster, who is getting nearer. He will be progressively worse since this spell becomes more concentrated around an object close by, no da [5]. Third, it would seem Zelgadis-kun is having flashbacks about his past at the moment, and from the yummy vibes I'm getting—"
Gourry made a surprised face. "Xelloss? What are *you* doing here?"
Xelloss ignored this."—they are not pleasant in the least…"
-TO BE CONTINUED-
[1] One comment: ORO?!!
[2] Don't worry, fans of Zel's ever-present coffee mug! I'll find another one for him! ^_^
[3] She's so obviously in love with poor Gourry. So obvious.
[4] Ahem. It reads: Why in hell can't you just walk in like normal people, you baka?!
[5] Okay, okay, so it was a blatant Chichirri comparison, omae o korosu! ::waves gun around Heero style::