Title: Fighter
Author: Lucy Mars
Disclaimer: Nope, they aren't mine. They belong to the delightful and delicious ABS.
Chapter #2:
Clutching the steering wheel, Josh speed through the deserted streets. Running a red light, Josh was sudden assaulted with Donna's soft voice echoing in his head and telling him that she wouldn't stop for red lights. She wouldn't stop for red lights. And now, Josh had sufficient proof to say that he wouldn't stop for red lights either. Swallowing back the memories, Josh tried to concentrate on the road.
He needed to get to G.W. He needed to find CJ and find out what the hell was going on. It was probably nothing. It was nothing. CJ didn't call in tears. CJ wouldn't call in the dead of night incoherent and crying. CJ would call to make him cry. Not call him crying. And Sam. Sam wouldn't take the phone from CJ. He knew better than that. Especially if he valued his kneecaps. No. Nothing was wrong. Donna was all right. She probably slipped. She been off balance a lot lately. She been off lately. They'd been off lately. It was nothing. Nothing.
Watching the city flash by as he pushed his car to go faster, Josh tried to calm down. He needed to calm down. If not for himself, then for Donna. He needed to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Breathe. Donna would chide him when he got to the hospital. She would tease him mercilessly about worrying about nothing. She would tease him. Mock him. Laugh at him. It would be like old times again. It was nothing. He was worrying about nothing.
Pulling into the G.W emergency entrance, Josh left his car in the no park zone. Let them tow it. He didn't care. He needed to get in there and find Donna sitting there ready to laugh at him. He needed to see that he was worrying about nothing. It was nothing. He was worrying about nothing.
Rushing into the overflowing ER, Josh didn't have time to be assaulted my the memories that would always haunt him. He needed to find Donna. He needed to see her laughing, CJ not crying, and Sam with broken kneecaps. He needed that. Looking through the sea of people, Josh spotted Sam immediately. He was standing amiss the chaos around him, waiting. Like a broken angel. Sadly though, his kneecaps didn't look broken. In fact, much to Josh's dismay, they looked to be perfectly intact. Watching Sam walk towards him, Josh felt his heart stop. This wasn't what he needed. Where was his laughing Donna? Where was a not crying CJ? What was going on? There was nothing to worry about. Nothing.
"Josh." Sam said approaching his still friend.
"What are you doing here?" Josh asked studying Sam intently. "Why aren't your kneecaps broken?"
"Josh." Sam repeated grabbing his arm to try and steady him.
"Where's Donna?" Josh asked feeling anxiety begin to eat away at him.
"Josh." Sam said gently, "Come with me."
"No!" Josh yelled ripping his arm away from Sam's grip. "Where's Donna?"
Careful not to pull anymore attention to them, Sam lead Josh out of the crowded ER and back into a private room. A private room, that much to Sam's horror, reminded him too much of the one that they sat in when they waited for Josh. "Josh…"
"Where's Donna?" Josh repeated desperately clutching onto Sam's arm. "Where is she? She's suppose to be okay. She suppose to be mocking me for worrying. She's suppose to be laughing. Teasing me, Sam."
"Josh." Sam sighed stealing a look over at CJ for help.
Following Sam's gaze, Josh felt the world start to crash down around him when he met CJ's red teary eyes with his distressed ones. "You're not suppose to be crying." Josh choked out.
"Josh." Sam sighed trying to calm him.
"You…" Josh said whipping around to look at Sam, "you're suppose to have broken kneecaps. This is suppose to be nothing. CJ doesn't call in tears. You don't take the phone from CJ. Donna's suppose to be all right…" Josh gasped feeling the warmth drain out of him when he saw Leo sitting at the far corner of the room. "Leo?" Leo didn't come unless it was important. This wasn't important because Donna was all right. It was nothing. Leo shouldn't be here if it was nothing. None of them should be here. Josh just needed to find Donna. He would find her and they would leave. He would drive her home and sleep on her couch. He could listen to her sprout inane facts. He would watch her smile and tease him. He would smile with her. He missed smiling with Donna. He missed Donna. Where was she?
"Josh," Sam said trying to lead him towards a chair before he collapsed, "sit."
"No." Josh said pushing Sam away. "Where's Donna. I need to find Donna."
"Josh," CJ said getting up and trying to calm Josh down, "sit down. Take a deep breath."
"Deep breath?" Josh asked looking up at CJ, "Did Donna tell you to tell me that?"
"No." CJ whispered, "Oh Josh…"
"I need to find Donna." Josh said feeling the room start to spin. CJ doesn't cry. Sam doesn't look like a lost puppy. Leo doesn't sit in the corner watching them all. Leo doesn't look sad. Donna…Donna doesn't get hurt. She doesn't…she can't…"I need to find Donna."
"Josh," Leo said grabbing his arm before he could run through the hospital screaming Donnatella Moss at the top of his lungs, "sit down."
"I need to find Donna, Leo." Josh choked out trying to pull out of Leo's grasp. "I need to find her. She's gonna tell me that it's nothing. I'm worrying about nothing. Nothing at all."
Tightening his grip on Josh's arm, Leo steered him into a chair and pushed him down. "Sit Josh."
"No," Josh protested trying to get back up. "no."
"You're going to want to be sitting when I tell you this." Leo said seriously.
Looking at Leo with an expression of dread, Josh felt tears sting his eyes.
"Josh," Leo sighed feeling his own heart ache when he saw how broken and lost Josh looked, "it's not good."
"What's not good?" Josh asked looking up at Leo. "Did Donna fall? She slipped didn't she. Broke something. Her arm? A leg? I told her not to wear heels. She's been tripping a lot lately. Dizzy. She complains about being dizzy. Too much caffeine…"
"Joshua." Leo said cutting Josh off.
"Yeah?" Josh whispered looking up at Leo.
"Donna's sick."
"Sick?" Josh echoed gripping the cold metal of the chair. "The flu? She needs a warmer jacket. I'll get her a warmer jacket. Does she want some soup? I'll go and get her some soup. Maybe the chicken soup that she likes…"
"Josh." Leo sighed looking at CJ and Sam. "It's not that simple."
"What?" Josh asked frantic now, "A viral infection?"
"Josh," Leo said sitting down beside him, "Donna's really sick."
"She hasn't been feeling well lately." Josh whispered to no one in particular, "I should have let her go home early. I shouldn't have asked her to do the thing."
"It's serious, Josh."
"Serious?" Josh echoed looking over at Leo and fighting against his tears.
"Yeah."
"How serious?"
Swallowing hard, Leo looked up at CJ and Sam before turning back to Josh and his pale face. "Donna's a fighter."
"How serious?" Josh repeated.
"I…the doctors think…" Leo stuttered trying to find the right words. He couldn't find the right words. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be the one to tell him this. But Leo promised. Leo promised Noah that he'd take care of Josh. Leo owned Noah. He didn't protect him once. He would this time. He had to do this.
"Just tell me Leo." Josh snapped harsher then he meant too.
"Donna has cancer." Leo said quickly.
"Cancer?" Josh asked feeling his heart fall down an endless pit.
"Yeah."
"It's serious?"
"Yeah." Leo nodded.
"You're wrong." Josh said shooting to his feet.
"Josh." Leo said standing up too and reaching out for him. "Josh, listen to me…"
"No!" Josh yelled backing away from Leo and avoiding Sam and CJ as well. "You're wrong. There's been a mistake. Donna doesn't have cancer. She's young. She's healthy. She runs for gods sake! So she's been feeling like crap lately, that doesn't mean that she has cancer. You're wrong."
"Joshua," CJ said trying to catch him before he fell, "Joshua."
"Don't call me that." Josh said his voice catching. "Donna calls me that. Only Donna calls me that."
"Oh Josh." CJ said wrapping her arms around him.
Taking comfort from CJ's embrace, Josh buried his face in her shoulder. "Donna can't have cancer." Josh said choking on his tears. "She can't."
"I'm sorry." CJ whispered tightening her hold on Josh, "I'm so sorry Josh."
"Donna's impervious. Donna is suppose to be impervious." Josh sobbed clutching onto CJ, "She can't have cancer, Claudia. She can't."
Looking over Josh's head, CJ found her own tear stung eyes mirrored in Sam's and even in Leo's. God, what were they suppose to do now?
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Thanks for all the amazing feedback you guys!! ;] I'm gonna finish up Dark Depths and then focus on this. Enjoy!
-Lucy
P.S. Tell me what you thought!!