Title: Fighter
Author: Lucy Mars
Disclaimer: Ha! They belong to him.
Chapter #5:
Listening to her shallow breaths echo off of the sterile walls and blend in with the myriad of sounds of her quiet, yet deafening room, Donna clenched and unclenched her fists as she waited. She was waiting. She would wait for her tears to subsided, and her fears to disappear, because this wasn't real. This wasn't happening again. No. No. No. That was her mantra. No. No. No. God, no.
It couldn't be. All that chemo as a child, all those long nights listening to her father cry when he thought that she was asleep, all the hair that she lost. No. Donna didn't fight for all those years just to be here again. This wasn't happening. This was just a dream. Life was cruel, but it wasn't sadistic.
You don't lose your mother to cancer, get cancer, fight it, beat it, fight it again, beat it and fight it again.
You don't lose your father, the only person left in the world, to a drunk driver when the worst of it seems to be over. You don't bury your father alone. You don't wonder why it's not you in that casket instead of him, because for so long you didn't want to fight. But you did, because you couldn't leave him. You were the only person that he had left. You were all he had, and now he's gone. No, by some twisted turn of faith, he left you.
You don't pour all your faith into a man who didn't deserve it, because he wanted to be a doctor and you created this dream world where he would always protect you. You don't leave him because the dream has dissolved, and end up going back to him because it's easier to live a dream then live the reality. You don't end up having your heart broken again. No.
You don't finally find home, a surrogate family, to find out on a news bulletin that the world has suddenly shifted on it's axis once more. You don't come to the realization as you run 4 red lights that you risk losing everything and everyone you have because a couple of idiots are racists pigs.
You don't fall in love with a man and watch as your world falls apart as the doctors rush to save him. You don't realize when he opens his eyes that everything's going to be okay. That you haven't lost him......until his own demons attack him.
No. One person doesn't suffer this much in a lifetime. One person doesn't lose it all. No. Life can't be that cruel.............can it?
`~`~`~`~`
"Sir?"
"Yeah?" Jed asked looking up from the memos scattered over his desk.
"The First Lady's on the line." Charlie said taking in the President's tired face.
"Okay." Jed sighed picking up the phone, "You can go home Charlie."
"I'd like to stay," Charlie said standing at the door, "at least until..."
"Yeah, okay." Jed sighed picking up the phone, "Abby?"
"Oh Jed," Abby sighed.
"That bad?" Jed asked.
"We haven't seen Donna yet, but I did talk to her doctors."
"That bad?" Jed repeated.
"No, it looks good." Abby said feeling a small glimmer of hope, "I talked to her oncologist and neurologist and both are optimistic. The tumor is benign and though it's located in a sensitive area, it looks good. Surgery has it's risks but..."
"They're going right to surgery?"
"Donna has a history." Abby sighed her eyes wandering over to where Josh was sitting silently.
"A history?" Jed asked, "What the hell does that mean?"
"Her file's thicker than yours, Jed."
"Why didn't I know that?"
"Because Donna didn't tell you." Abby said simply.
"Well...she should have." Jed sputtered. "She should have told all of us."
"And how would you have wanted her to do that exactly?" Abby demanded.
"I don't care how, she should have told us..."
"Yes, Jed." Abby replied cutting his mini rant off, "She should have randomly come to you one day and announced the fact that as a child she had cancer and after years of chemo and radiation she thought that she beat it."
Listening to the silence, Abby sighed, "Jed?"
"Yeah?"
"You know I'm right."
"Yeah."
"And I know that you're angry."
"She's so young." Jed sighed taking his glasses off, "She's just..."
"I know." Abby sighed.
"She's so young."
"I know."
"Abby?"
"Yeah?"
"She's going to be okay."
"Yeah," Abby said soothing Jed's unspoken fears, "she's tough."
"I should have given her the damn Proclamation."
"How would that have helped?" Abby asked smiling at her husbands stupidity, "Would the Proclamation for her teacher have made her better?"
"Well...no," Jed conceded, "but it would make me feel a little better. Maybe I should do it now, you know, as a way to cheer her up."
"Oh Jed," Abby sighed smiling, "it's times like these I remember why I married you."
"Only times like these?" Jed asked suggestively.
"Jackass." Abby laughed shaking her head.
"Listen," Jed said serious now, "how's Josh? I talked to Leo earlier and I could tell that he was worried."
"Josh is...well, Josh isn't taking this well." Abby sighed.
"I guess that's to be expected."
"Yeah." Abby sighed, "I guess. But that doesn't make me worry any less."
"He's scared."
"He looks so lost." Abby whispered.
"The woman he loves is sick," Jed said looking up at the picture of him and Abby on his desk, "and he's powerless. He can't save her."
"I know." Abby whispered trying to hold back her tears.
"I know you know." Jed sighed, "Abby?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For making you feel powerless."
Her eyes falling to her wedding ring, Abby shook her head even though he couldn't see. "I don't feel powerless."
"No?" Jed asked using his thumb to twist his wedding band around his finger.
"No," Abby confirmed, "I feel incredibly lucky to be married to such a loving jackass."
Laughing, Jed nodded his head. "As you should be."
"Jed?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't ruin the moment."
"Okay," Jed laughed, "I won't."
"I know you want to be here."
"Yeah."
"But you know you can't."
"An unmarked black suburban," Jed tried.
"Jed." Abby warned.
"I know."
"They would find out and they would have a field day with it. President at G.W....why?"
"Yeah."
"You know I'm right."
"Yeah." Jed grumbled.
"It'll be okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." Jed sighed.
"Go to bed, Jed."
"Later."
"I'm not going to be back to awhile."
"I know."
"And you have staff and security briefing..."
"Yeah."
"And you don't want to fall asleep for either." Abby warned.
"Yes mom."
"Do you really want to be calling me mom?" Abby asked.
"No." Jed sighed.
"Go to bed. You need your rest."
"Okay." Jed said picking up the memo sitting on his desk.
"Jed?"
"Yeah?"
"Put the memo down, let Charlie go home and go up to bed." Abby said sternly.
"Okay, okay." Jed said putting the memo down. "I'm going."
`~`~`~`~`
Pacing the halls, Leo looked up in surprise when Abby stood in front of him. "You talk to the doctors?"
"Yeah," Abby said leading Leo into a chair, "I did."
"And?"
"And you need to take a couple deep breaths and let the doctors worry about it."
"Abby," Leo sighed.
"Listen to me." Abby said seriously, "You need to be there for Donna and Josh. Let me deal with the doctors."
"Josh wants to see her."
"I know." Abby said looking over towards the waiting room, "I'm going to take him up first."
"That's a good idea." Leo nodded.
"Leo?"
"Yeah?"
"It's going to be okay."
"Yeah?"
"I may not have a license to practice, but I'm still a doctor." Abby said patting Leo's arm.
"Yeah." Leo said giving Abby a small smile.
"Go sit with the others." Abby suggested getting up, "I'm gonna take Josh up to see Donna."
"Okay," Leo said getting up.
"Leo?"
"Yeah?"
"You need to prepare yourself."
"For what?" Leo asked.
"For what happens when Josh realizes that he can't save Donna."
"What do you mean? Josh doesn't think that he can save Donna."
Sighing, Abby looked over at Josh's frozen face. "He does Leo. That's why he's holding it all in. He thinks that he can save her. Donna is....she's....to him, she is....."
"She's important to him." Leo offered.
"Yeah," Abby sighed, "she's important to him all right."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." Abby whispered. 'Because I thought that I could save Jed too.'