"Yeah. It's me," she said, sitting down on the bed across from him. He
was in complete shock. He hadn't seen her face for four years. He had
so many questions and so much he wanted to know. But for the
moment....he was silent.
"Are you okay?" she asked. He didn't look all that good with the bruises on his face. She had gotten some banadges for his cuts and pain killers, for him and her, because she knew he was going to give her hell for leaving. But she was planning on doing the same.
"I don't know. I just....you were the last person I expected to see, luv."
She reached out to caresse his face. He winced at her touch but didn't pull away. Her hand felt some warm to his cold skin. It had been so long since he had felt her touch. He had laid in bed, asleep, dreaming of her touch and her face.
"Its been awhile. I know. You were the last person I expected to here, too." He looked at her. Really noticed her since she had stepped in. Her eyes looked old and worn. But they still shined like the first day he had met her. She had let her hair grow out.
He went to stroke her hair.
"You let it grow out." She looked down at her hands.
"Yeah."
"Guess I better not call you goldilocks or you'll go and cut it off again," he said with a smirk. She smiled. She looked back at his face.
"You look like you haven't brushed your hair in awhile," she said, running her hand through his unruly hair.
"Yeah. Didn't have the money to spend on stuff like that. I spend all my money on getting myself into a stupor every night."
"I have a question," she said. She looked at the ground again.
"What is it, luv?"
"Why did you leave?"
He was taken by surprise, even though he knew it would come up.
"Why don't we just start from the beginning. Then you can tell me the same thing. Deal?" He extented his hand.
Buffy looked up at his face again. She shook his hand.
"Deal."
~FlashBack~
******************************************************************
"I'm tired of it, Buffy! I'm tired of being this dirty little secret that you keep from your friends," Spike shouted.
"Well maybe if you didn't love me I wouldn't have this problem!" she shouted back. She saw the hurt in his eyes and regreted it. A little.
"I'm not going to stop loving you, Buffy. What ever you do, I'm not going going to stop, just because it tempts you to come and have a good shag everytime your life takes a turn for the worst."
She punched him in the jaw. It sent him stumbling backwards, but he didn't fall. She tried to kick him, but he grabbed her leg and pulled her down next to him, pinning her arms above her head.
"I love you Buffy. I would die for you. I would do anything for you...except this. I'm not going to let you shag me everytime something bad happens and you need something to vent your energy."
Buffy mangaes to grip his wrist and roll over on top of him.
"You disgust me. You go and have all this love and lust towards me and try to get me into bed with you. But when it's all over, you act like it's all me fault. That I just do it for the sex. I actually thought I might have feelings for you." She glared at him in the eyes."But how can I love a soulless thing."
It felt like she had just knocked him out. Like she had just torn his heart right out of his chest.
She saw the hurt and sorrow in his eyes. She got up off of his chest and stood in front of him.
"I could never love you. You must have forgotten. You're beneath me. And don't ever forget that." With that, she left his crypt. He sat up. He didn't know what to do. At least he had the sanity now not go after her with a gun. Then he decided what he was going to do.
He went down to the bottom level. Grabbed a bag and started to toss clothes in it. He grabbed a bottle of Scotch and his pack of ciggerettes and put them in there with it.
He took his bag and left for the motorcycle he had stolen from the hell gang. He needed something fast that could get him anywhere.
******************************************************************
"That still doesn't answer my question about why you left. And where did you go anyway?" Buffy asked, curiously.
"Would you just let me finish my story, luv. And in case you didn't notice, I was kind of brassed off by what you said."
"Okay. Continue."
******************************************************************
He took the motorcyle and sped out of Sunnydale. The feel of the air in his face helped him calm down, but that wasn't going to change his mind. He needed to get away from it all. The gang, Buffy, the pain they have caused together. He needed a rest.
He knew he only had about three hours until dawn, so he sped up. Weaving in and out between cars. He didn't know what the reaction he would get when reached his destination. He needed to think of some fast talking so he wouldn't get staked.
He would figure it out when he got there.
When he pulled into the hotel lot, he parked his bike around the side and walked inside.
"Hello. Angel Investigations....Spike!" Cordy yelped."What the hell are you doing here?"
"Where's Angel?"
******************************************************************
"Angel! You went there! I can't believe you. Of all the places, that was the last places I expected you to go."
"Luv. If you keep interrupting I'm never going to finish." She crossed her arms on her chest in a pout.
"Fine."
******************************************************************
"He's upstairs, trying to get Conner in bed. But why are you here?"
"Woman troubles," he said simply as he walked up the stairs.
"You! Now why don't I beleive that?" she said to herself as he walked up the steps.
Gunn had come in the room.
"Who's that guy?" he said, geusturing towards the stairs.
"An old friend. Sorta."
Spike slowly walked into the room. Angel had a little buddle in his arms. Angel felt his presence and looked up.
"Spike!" he shouted before he could catch himself. Conner started to cry. Spike smirked.
"Hello to you too."
Angel gave him a look and tried to soothe the baby. When Conner stopped crying, Angel gently placed him in his crib. He slowly walked out of the room, giving one last glance at Conner before closing the door behind him. He gave Spike another look.
"My office." He led Spike into his office and sat at the desk.
"Why are you here?" he asked before Spike even sat down. Spike made a big deal of making himself comfortable, then settled down.
"I needed to get away from some stuff."
"Like...."
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Try me," Angel said stubbornly, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Before I tell you, can you promise me a place to stay for a few months?"
"Sure. I guess."
"I was sleeping with Buffy. I needed a break."
Spike watched Angel's jaw drop. He saw the surprise on his face and in his eyes. He smirked. He expected him to start yelling. But, he just sat there with a look of complete astonishment.
"Okay. I wasn't expecting that. When...did this all....start."
"After Buffy....came back. She was having mixed feelings. I think. Anyway she couldn't talk to anyone else, so she came to me. I was just as surprised at you are. First we kissed. Then we kissed again......Then we brought the house down. Literally."
Angel just sat there. He had stopped showing emotions. He had just needed to get over the first blow. He looked like he was thinking about it.
"Well. We were together, but she didn't want to tell anyone. She said her friends wouldn't like it. Like I was just some secret she had to keep. I got tired of it. We had a big fight last night, and I left."
Again, Angel just sat and listened. He knew that wasn't everything that had happened, but he didn't ask. He was never one to push.
"You can stay here. For as long as you want. But, I'm going to need you to actually get along with everyone. If you make trouble. You're gone. Clear?"
"Crystal."
Spike stayed there for about a month before he tried to contact them. He was surprised when Buffy, or at least Dawn, hadn't called Angel to try and find him. And he wanted to keep it that way. When he called the first time, he used a payphone.
"Hello?" It was Buffy.
"Hey, luv." He said smiling at the sound of her voice.
"Spike! Oh my god, where are you?" she sounded frantic.
"I'm fine, pet. I'm staying with a friend. Alot was going on. I just needed a vacation from it all."
"So you leave. Without telling anyone?" she sounded about in tears. His smile faded.
"Well, I didn't think you'd miss me much, considering the fight we had the night I left."
"Is that all you think about? Me. What about Dawn? She was really worried sick about you. She thought you might be dead. As in gone forever and never coming back." She was crying now. She was shouting each word. Spike felt bad that he had hurt Dawn, but she needed to understand why she left.
"Luv, I couldn't do it. I could just be with you behind everyone's back and pretend like nothing was going on. They gang up on me. Especailly the Whelp. They say I never have a chance. And you sit there and let them do it! The only ones I thought were sane were Nibblet and maybe Tara. The rest of them were going off their rocker. Willow and her magic. Whelp and Anya and their wedding. You and your blame and sorrow and reasons why what happenes to everyone else shouldn't matter to you!" He immediatly regreted his words the second they left his mouth. He heard Buffy start to sob as she hung up on him.
"Good going, you bloody wanker," he cursed himself. He hung up the phone and headed back to the hotel.
When he got back, he ran up to his room and sat on the bed. He pulled the Scotch out of his bag and took a long swig. Then, placed it back in his bag.
Cordiela walked into the room, Conner in her arms.
"What's wrong? You came in and stomped up the stairs like you were mad at the world," she said as she took a seat on the bed and placed Conner on his stomach.
"Close enough. Buffy hates me. She thinks I did this just because I wanted to hurt someone," his anger was building up, but his anger quickly disappeared when he watched Conner giggle and cue on his stomach. He grabbed a hold of Spike's finger and started sucking on it. Cordelia watched as a smile appeared on Spike's face.
Then Conner bit him.
"Ow," he jerked his hand away,"You little bugger."
Conner started to cry. Cordy picked up the crying child and rocked him.
"Sorry bout that. He's getting his teeth and likes to bite," Cordy said when she had calmed Conner down.
"Do you want to hold him?" she said, holding Conner out. Spike hesitated.
" Oh what's wrong? The big bad afraid of a baby? He won't hurt you. Just stay away from his mouth," she said laughing. She handed Conner to Spike. Spike took the child into his arms. The baby looked at Spike with his big eyes.
"He is a cute bite-size," he said smiling at the child. He didn't even notice Angel walk into room. Angel just hung back in the doorway, watching Spike hold Conner.
"He takes well to you," spoke Angel. Spike's head jerked up. He quickly gave the baby back to Cordelia.
"Yeah. But the little bugger bit me first." He leaned back against head board.
"Just as long as you don't bite back," said Angel. Spike smirked.
Spike staid with Angel for about six months. He would have gone back earlier, but he was getting used to life in LA. It distracted him from the reason he came in the first place. He called Sunnydale many more times, but the conversation never lasted long and he usually got hung up on. He finally decided that this wasn't going to work. So he went back.
When he reached Sunnydale, it was almost sunrise so he decided to take a run past Buffy's house. Just to look, then go back to his crypt.
When he passed the house, the lights were off. There were no signs of life coming from it. He shrugged it off and left for his crypt, hoping to run into Buffy while she was on patrol. When he didn't see her, he just went inside.
It didn't look like anyone had been there, so he knew no one had tried to take anything, which is what usually happens when a crypt is left. It's stripped of anything of value.
He went down the ladder and threw his stuff on the bed, when something caught his eye. It was a piece of paper laying on the floor. He picked it up and unfolded it. When he read it, his unbeating heart broke.
Dear Spike,
Hi. This Dawn. Look, I can't say much, Buffy would kill me if she knew I was here. If your reading this, I know you came back. But it was to late. We're leaving. Buffy has packed her bags and we're leaving tomarrow. She didn't tell me where we are going. But this is the thing. Willow is dead. She was out getting something and was stabbed and robbed. Tara couldn't take it. She fled to London to live with Giles. Hoping to find some peace I guess. Anya turned back into a vengence demon. Then Xander left too. He said he would be around, but he needed some space. He didn't give us much of a clue where he was going, but he said he would call. When everyone was gone, Buffy decided there were too many memeories in the house and this town. She didn't want to remember, just to forget. So we are leaving. I wish I could say where we are going. I don't know. I gave you a picture so you wouldn't forget me. I hope I see you again. Try not to get into trouble.
Love ya,
Dawn
P.S.- Buffy missed you. I saw her stuff one of your T-shirts in her bag. If their's one thing she didn't want to forget, I guess it was you.
******************************************************************
"I can't believe she wrote that. And I can't beleive she told you that," said Buffy.
"Actually, luv. If she hadn't you wouldn't be looking at me right now. That one hope that you didn't hate me was what kept me alive."
Buffy got up and sat next to him.
"Let me try and clean up your face while you finish the story," she said, reaching for her bag.
"Whatever you say, luv."
******************************************************************
After he read the letter, wanted to call London. He wanted to talk to somone who he knew didn't hate him. Hopefully. But he didn't have a phone and the sun was rising.
"Bloody hell! Can this day get any worse?" he he threw his arms in the air. He tried to sleep, but if he fell asleep, he would have nightmares, so he mostly stayed up the whole day. He was getting lonley. It had been so long since he had seen or touched Buffy that he was going mad.
When the sun reached the horizon at on un-leathal piont, he fled for the nearest payphone and punched in Giles number.
"Hello?" he heared a female voice.
"Tara?"
"Spike?!" she almost screamed. Giles came up behind her.
"Who is it?" he asked, but she waved her hand at him dismissivly.
"Yeah. It's me, pet. Look. I knokw everything that has happened since I left."
"Oh," he heard her vioce drop in a whisper.
"I'm sorry. Din't mean to bring back old memories. I just need to know if you know where Buffy is."
"Oh. No. I don't know. She didn't tell anyone where she was going. She just called to tell everyone she loved them and left."
"Dammit. I need to find her, Tara. I need to talk to her. I need Nibblet, too. I love them. I can't live without them," Tara heard his voice fade. She wanted so badly to comfort him, but she could only listen.
"I wish I could help you. But...I-I just...don't know." Spike noticed her voice starting to stutter. She only did that when she was getting nervous.
"Are you sure you don't know anything, pet. Cause if you do, I need to know."
"N-no. I'm sure. Look I've got to go. Bye." She hung up on him.
Tara turned back to Giles.
"That was close. I almost told. Giles, I can't do this. If he calls again I can't just not tell him. It's not right. He's so sad."
"Tara. We promised Buffy. She needs to be alone."
Spike looked at the phone befor slamming it on the hook, breaking it off in the process.
"Bloody hell!" He decided he needed a drink and headed to the bar.
******************************************************************
"And that's how it went for awhile. I got drunk during the night and suffered massive hang-overs during the day. I just couldn't deal with the pain that they weren't telling me where you were. Hey! That hurt," he shouted when Buffy was cleaning a cut on his forhead.
"Big baby," she said under her breath, but just enough for Spike to hear. She put a bandage on the cut and put her first-aid stuff up.
"There. The bruises should be gone by day after tomarrow. If you're lucking. You really let that guy give you a beating, didn't you?" she said, looking into his eyes.
"It numbed the pain. Distracted me. More than I could have asked for until you came along and saved my ass." He gave her a smile.
She smiled back. She didn't know hwo much it ment to him just to see her smile.
"So. How long have you been here? Just today or what?" he asked her.
"I've kind of been following you for about a week. I wanted to see you. It's been so long."
"Isn't that a change of pace. You stalking me instead of the other way around."
"I wasn't stalking you! I just wanted to see how you were keeping up. Like I said, it's been awhile."
"Yeah. It has. Well, Slayer. I did my part of the deal. Now it's your turn. What all happened to you? Where did you go? Oh and where's Nibblet?"
"I'll answer all your questions. Just let me talk."
"Go ahead." He leaned back on the bed and lit a ciggerette. It was going to be a long night.
"Are you okay?" she asked. He didn't look all that good with the bruises on his face. She had gotten some banadges for his cuts and pain killers, for him and her, because she knew he was going to give her hell for leaving. But she was planning on doing the same.
"I don't know. I just....you were the last person I expected to see, luv."
She reached out to caresse his face. He winced at her touch but didn't pull away. Her hand felt some warm to his cold skin. It had been so long since he had felt her touch. He had laid in bed, asleep, dreaming of her touch and her face.
"Its been awhile. I know. You were the last person I expected to here, too." He looked at her. Really noticed her since she had stepped in. Her eyes looked old and worn. But they still shined like the first day he had met her. She had let her hair grow out.
He went to stroke her hair.
"You let it grow out." She looked down at her hands.
"Yeah."
"Guess I better not call you goldilocks or you'll go and cut it off again," he said with a smirk. She smiled. She looked back at his face.
"You look like you haven't brushed your hair in awhile," she said, running her hand through his unruly hair.
"Yeah. Didn't have the money to spend on stuff like that. I spend all my money on getting myself into a stupor every night."
"I have a question," she said. She looked at the ground again.
"What is it, luv?"
"Why did you leave?"
He was taken by surprise, even though he knew it would come up.
"Why don't we just start from the beginning. Then you can tell me the same thing. Deal?" He extented his hand.
Buffy looked up at his face again. She shook his hand.
"Deal."
~FlashBack~
******************************************************************
"I'm tired of it, Buffy! I'm tired of being this dirty little secret that you keep from your friends," Spike shouted.
"Well maybe if you didn't love me I wouldn't have this problem!" she shouted back. She saw the hurt in his eyes and regreted it. A little.
"I'm not going to stop loving you, Buffy. What ever you do, I'm not going going to stop, just because it tempts you to come and have a good shag everytime your life takes a turn for the worst."
She punched him in the jaw. It sent him stumbling backwards, but he didn't fall. She tried to kick him, but he grabbed her leg and pulled her down next to him, pinning her arms above her head.
"I love you Buffy. I would die for you. I would do anything for you...except this. I'm not going to let you shag me everytime something bad happens and you need something to vent your energy."
Buffy mangaes to grip his wrist and roll over on top of him.
"You disgust me. You go and have all this love and lust towards me and try to get me into bed with you. But when it's all over, you act like it's all me fault. That I just do it for the sex. I actually thought I might have feelings for you." She glared at him in the eyes."But how can I love a soulless thing."
It felt like she had just knocked him out. Like she had just torn his heart right out of his chest.
She saw the hurt and sorrow in his eyes. She got up off of his chest and stood in front of him.
"I could never love you. You must have forgotten. You're beneath me. And don't ever forget that." With that, she left his crypt. He sat up. He didn't know what to do. At least he had the sanity now not go after her with a gun. Then he decided what he was going to do.
He went down to the bottom level. Grabbed a bag and started to toss clothes in it. He grabbed a bottle of Scotch and his pack of ciggerettes and put them in there with it.
He took his bag and left for the motorcycle he had stolen from the hell gang. He needed something fast that could get him anywhere.
******************************************************************
"That still doesn't answer my question about why you left. And where did you go anyway?" Buffy asked, curiously.
"Would you just let me finish my story, luv. And in case you didn't notice, I was kind of brassed off by what you said."
"Okay. Continue."
******************************************************************
He took the motorcyle and sped out of Sunnydale. The feel of the air in his face helped him calm down, but that wasn't going to change his mind. He needed to get away from it all. The gang, Buffy, the pain they have caused together. He needed a rest.
He knew he only had about three hours until dawn, so he sped up. Weaving in and out between cars. He didn't know what the reaction he would get when reached his destination. He needed to think of some fast talking so he wouldn't get staked.
He would figure it out when he got there.
When he pulled into the hotel lot, he parked his bike around the side and walked inside.
"Hello. Angel Investigations....Spike!" Cordy yelped."What the hell are you doing here?"
"Where's Angel?"
******************************************************************
"Angel! You went there! I can't believe you. Of all the places, that was the last places I expected you to go."
"Luv. If you keep interrupting I'm never going to finish." She crossed her arms on her chest in a pout.
"Fine."
******************************************************************
"He's upstairs, trying to get Conner in bed. But why are you here?"
"Woman troubles," he said simply as he walked up the stairs.
"You! Now why don't I beleive that?" she said to herself as he walked up the steps.
Gunn had come in the room.
"Who's that guy?" he said, geusturing towards the stairs.
"An old friend. Sorta."
Spike slowly walked into the room. Angel had a little buddle in his arms. Angel felt his presence and looked up.
"Spike!" he shouted before he could catch himself. Conner started to cry. Spike smirked.
"Hello to you too."
Angel gave him a look and tried to soothe the baby. When Conner stopped crying, Angel gently placed him in his crib. He slowly walked out of the room, giving one last glance at Conner before closing the door behind him. He gave Spike another look.
"My office." He led Spike into his office and sat at the desk.
"Why are you here?" he asked before Spike even sat down. Spike made a big deal of making himself comfortable, then settled down.
"I needed to get away from some stuff."
"Like...."
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Try me," Angel said stubbornly, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Before I tell you, can you promise me a place to stay for a few months?"
"Sure. I guess."
"I was sleeping with Buffy. I needed a break."
Spike watched Angel's jaw drop. He saw the surprise on his face and in his eyes. He smirked. He expected him to start yelling. But, he just sat there with a look of complete astonishment.
"Okay. I wasn't expecting that. When...did this all....start."
"After Buffy....came back. She was having mixed feelings. I think. Anyway she couldn't talk to anyone else, so she came to me. I was just as surprised at you are. First we kissed. Then we kissed again......Then we brought the house down. Literally."
Angel just sat there. He had stopped showing emotions. He had just needed to get over the first blow. He looked like he was thinking about it.
"Well. We were together, but she didn't want to tell anyone. She said her friends wouldn't like it. Like I was just some secret she had to keep. I got tired of it. We had a big fight last night, and I left."
Again, Angel just sat and listened. He knew that wasn't everything that had happened, but he didn't ask. He was never one to push.
"You can stay here. For as long as you want. But, I'm going to need you to actually get along with everyone. If you make trouble. You're gone. Clear?"
"Crystal."
Spike stayed there for about a month before he tried to contact them. He was surprised when Buffy, or at least Dawn, hadn't called Angel to try and find him. And he wanted to keep it that way. When he called the first time, he used a payphone.
"Hello?" It was Buffy.
"Hey, luv." He said smiling at the sound of her voice.
"Spike! Oh my god, where are you?" she sounded frantic.
"I'm fine, pet. I'm staying with a friend. Alot was going on. I just needed a vacation from it all."
"So you leave. Without telling anyone?" she sounded about in tears. His smile faded.
"Well, I didn't think you'd miss me much, considering the fight we had the night I left."
"Is that all you think about? Me. What about Dawn? She was really worried sick about you. She thought you might be dead. As in gone forever and never coming back." She was crying now. She was shouting each word. Spike felt bad that he had hurt Dawn, but she needed to understand why she left.
"Luv, I couldn't do it. I could just be with you behind everyone's back and pretend like nothing was going on. They gang up on me. Especailly the Whelp. They say I never have a chance. And you sit there and let them do it! The only ones I thought were sane were Nibblet and maybe Tara. The rest of them were going off their rocker. Willow and her magic. Whelp and Anya and their wedding. You and your blame and sorrow and reasons why what happenes to everyone else shouldn't matter to you!" He immediatly regreted his words the second they left his mouth. He heard Buffy start to sob as she hung up on him.
"Good going, you bloody wanker," he cursed himself. He hung up the phone and headed back to the hotel.
When he got back, he ran up to his room and sat on the bed. He pulled the Scotch out of his bag and took a long swig. Then, placed it back in his bag.
Cordiela walked into the room, Conner in her arms.
"What's wrong? You came in and stomped up the stairs like you were mad at the world," she said as she took a seat on the bed and placed Conner on his stomach.
"Close enough. Buffy hates me. She thinks I did this just because I wanted to hurt someone," his anger was building up, but his anger quickly disappeared when he watched Conner giggle and cue on his stomach. He grabbed a hold of Spike's finger and started sucking on it. Cordelia watched as a smile appeared on Spike's face.
Then Conner bit him.
"Ow," he jerked his hand away,"You little bugger."
Conner started to cry. Cordy picked up the crying child and rocked him.
"Sorry bout that. He's getting his teeth and likes to bite," Cordy said when she had calmed Conner down.
"Do you want to hold him?" she said, holding Conner out. Spike hesitated.
" Oh what's wrong? The big bad afraid of a baby? He won't hurt you. Just stay away from his mouth," she said laughing. She handed Conner to Spike. Spike took the child into his arms. The baby looked at Spike with his big eyes.
"He is a cute bite-size," he said smiling at the child. He didn't even notice Angel walk into room. Angel just hung back in the doorway, watching Spike hold Conner.
"He takes well to you," spoke Angel. Spike's head jerked up. He quickly gave the baby back to Cordelia.
"Yeah. But the little bugger bit me first." He leaned back against head board.
"Just as long as you don't bite back," said Angel. Spike smirked.
Spike staid with Angel for about six months. He would have gone back earlier, but he was getting used to life in LA. It distracted him from the reason he came in the first place. He called Sunnydale many more times, but the conversation never lasted long and he usually got hung up on. He finally decided that this wasn't going to work. So he went back.
When he reached Sunnydale, it was almost sunrise so he decided to take a run past Buffy's house. Just to look, then go back to his crypt.
When he passed the house, the lights were off. There were no signs of life coming from it. He shrugged it off and left for his crypt, hoping to run into Buffy while she was on patrol. When he didn't see her, he just went inside.
It didn't look like anyone had been there, so he knew no one had tried to take anything, which is what usually happens when a crypt is left. It's stripped of anything of value.
He went down the ladder and threw his stuff on the bed, when something caught his eye. It was a piece of paper laying on the floor. He picked it up and unfolded it. When he read it, his unbeating heart broke.
Dear Spike,
Hi. This Dawn. Look, I can't say much, Buffy would kill me if she knew I was here. If your reading this, I know you came back. But it was to late. We're leaving. Buffy has packed her bags and we're leaving tomarrow. She didn't tell me where we are going. But this is the thing. Willow is dead. She was out getting something and was stabbed and robbed. Tara couldn't take it. She fled to London to live with Giles. Hoping to find some peace I guess. Anya turned back into a vengence demon. Then Xander left too. He said he would be around, but he needed some space. He didn't give us much of a clue where he was going, but he said he would call. When everyone was gone, Buffy decided there were too many memeories in the house and this town. She didn't want to remember, just to forget. So we are leaving. I wish I could say where we are going. I don't know. I gave you a picture so you wouldn't forget me. I hope I see you again. Try not to get into trouble.
Love ya,
Dawn
P.S.- Buffy missed you. I saw her stuff one of your T-shirts in her bag. If their's one thing she didn't want to forget, I guess it was you.
******************************************************************
"I can't believe she wrote that. And I can't beleive she told you that," said Buffy.
"Actually, luv. If she hadn't you wouldn't be looking at me right now. That one hope that you didn't hate me was what kept me alive."
Buffy got up and sat next to him.
"Let me try and clean up your face while you finish the story," she said, reaching for her bag.
"Whatever you say, luv."
******************************************************************
After he read the letter, wanted to call London. He wanted to talk to somone who he knew didn't hate him. Hopefully. But he didn't have a phone and the sun was rising.
"Bloody hell! Can this day get any worse?" he he threw his arms in the air. He tried to sleep, but if he fell asleep, he would have nightmares, so he mostly stayed up the whole day. He was getting lonley. It had been so long since he had seen or touched Buffy that he was going mad.
When the sun reached the horizon at on un-leathal piont, he fled for the nearest payphone and punched in Giles number.
"Hello?" he heared a female voice.
"Tara?"
"Spike?!" she almost screamed. Giles came up behind her.
"Who is it?" he asked, but she waved her hand at him dismissivly.
"Yeah. It's me, pet. Look. I knokw everything that has happened since I left."
"Oh," he heard her vioce drop in a whisper.
"I'm sorry. Din't mean to bring back old memories. I just need to know if you know where Buffy is."
"Oh. No. I don't know. She didn't tell anyone where she was going. She just called to tell everyone she loved them and left."
"Dammit. I need to find her, Tara. I need to talk to her. I need Nibblet, too. I love them. I can't live without them," Tara heard his voice fade. She wanted so badly to comfort him, but she could only listen.
"I wish I could help you. But...I-I just...don't know." Spike noticed her voice starting to stutter. She only did that when she was getting nervous.
"Are you sure you don't know anything, pet. Cause if you do, I need to know."
"N-no. I'm sure. Look I've got to go. Bye." She hung up on him.
Tara turned back to Giles.
"That was close. I almost told. Giles, I can't do this. If he calls again I can't just not tell him. It's not right. He's so sad."
"Tara. We promised Buffy. She needs to be alone."
Spike looked at the phone befor slamming it on the hook, breaking it off in the process.
"Bloody hell!" He decided he needed a drink and headed to the bar.
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"And that's how it went for awhile. I got drunk during the night and suffered massive hang-overs during the day. I just couldn't deal with the pain that they weren't telling me where you were. Hey! That hurt," he shouted when Buffy was cleaning a cut on his forhead.
"Big baby," she said under her breath, but just enough for Spike to hear. She put a bandage on the cut and put her first-aid stuff up.
"There. The bruises should be gone by day after tomarrow. If you're lucking. You really let that guy give you a beating, didn't you?" she said, looking into his eyes.
"It numbed the pain. Distracted me. More than I could have asked for until you came along and saved my ass." He gave her a smile.
She smiled back. She didn't know hwo much it ment to him just to see her smile.
"So. How long have you been here? Just today or what?" he asked her.
"I've kind of been following you for about a week. I wanted to see you. It's been so long."
"Isn't that a change of pace. You stalking me instead of the other way around."
"I wasn't stalking you! I just wanted to see how you were keeping up. Like I said, it's been awhile."
"Yeah. It has. Well, Slayer. I did my part of the deal. Now it's your turn. What all happened to you? Where did you go? Oh and where's Nibblet?"
"I'll answer all your questions. Just let me talk."
"Go ahead." He leaned back on the bed and lit a ciggerette. It was going to be a long night.