I DO exist...
A/N- ...Oh dear. After reading some of the reviews... I just thought I should probably mention that just because I write something in this fic doesn't mean that is (or isn't) what I really think. Writing Banksie angst? I'm incredibly guilty. Writing a Banksie suicide attempt? Guilty. Writing Banksie slash? Well... not guilty, but I thought about it, and I like reading it. This is just a very short and rather pointless joke of a fic... sorry if that disappoints anyone :(
*****
Dear Duck Community:
I know, I'm not the most talkative of all the Ducks. I don't get huge parts in any movies, heck, I wasn't even in the first one.
But does that really mean I shouldn't exist? I mean, who's the brains behind this operation? Charlie? Ha! In D3 he was so busy whining about his C, you really think he had the time to be plotting evil pranks against the Varsity?
No! That was all me. Well... me and Russ. But mostly me.
I do exist, folks. But hardly anyone mentions me, unless they're putting a new character in and they need to introduce all of the Ducks. Then I'm just gone again.
And then, after being all disgruntled about the fanfics, I go web surfing. And there's some nice Duck websites out there, really nice. But everywhere I go, what do I see under my profile? "He never did anything in the games!"
Excuse me?! And just who was it that cored the first goal against Iceland in the second game, huh? Everybody loves Charlie but did he score against them? NO!
...Okay, so he wasn't even in the game. That's completely beside the point! At least I didn't miss the puck in the first Iceland game. Or get injured and have to sit out half the tournament like everyone's favorite Cake-eater. Or get kicked out of the first Iceland game three seconds in like Portman.
Speaking of which, who's the third Bash Brother? Eh? Yeah, that's me too. But nobody ever thinks about the little Bash Brother, it's always Fulton this and Portman that and no room for little old me.
Do you realize what a number all this ignorance could have on a person's self-esteem? It's a good thing the Ducks don't ignore me like all of you people do, or I would probably end up with a serious inferiority complex.
Oh well, I suppose my ranting's done for now. I exist. Stop ignoring me.
Sincerely, Ken Wu
PS: If you're wondering "Who's Ken Wu?" I officially declare you a lost case.