"I'll just start when the fight ended, kay?"
"What ever you say, luv."
~FlashBack~
*****************************************************************
"Oh god, what have I done?"
After she had stomped out of his crypt, she immediatly regreted everything she had said in there. She wanted to go back, but then she remembered everything he had said to her, and kept walking.
When she got back to her house, Willow was in the living room doing some homework.
"Hey Buffy. What's wro...." She stopped when Buffy didn't answer her. She listened to her slam the door to her room. She sighed.
In Buffy's room, she flopped down on the bed. She stared at the ceiling for a matter of seconds, then burst into tears. She hadn't cried this much since Angel. It hurt so much.
Willow showed up in the doorway. She walked over to her friend and placed a comforting hand on her arm.
"What's wrong?" she asked. Even though she kind of had a clue. But, Buffy didn't know that.
"I...We...Nothing," she finally gave up. She had stopped crying and just layed on the pillow.
"Buffy. You have to tell me. I can't help unless you tell me."
"Will....I have...something...to tell you."
"I'm all ears."
"I....I'm.....I-I'm-sleeping-with-Spike," she said the last part in a rush. She stole a glance at Willow, amazed to see that she was smiling. She sighed.
"What? Did you think I would be mad? Buffy, this isn't like you. You've never cared about what other people think about you."
"But Willow you can't tell."
"What's the worst that would happen? Xander might be wigged but he can get over it. Giles will lecture, sure, but that's never stopped you before. And besides them I don't see why the others would apsolutly hate you for it."
"But-"
"No. Buffy this isn't healthy. You need some love in your life. And if the only way you can get it is to be with somone your friends hate, your friends can get over it."
Suddenly, Buffy got off the bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Willow followed her and stood in the hall. When she heard the toilet flush, she walked into the bathroom. Buffy was leaned against the wall. She had dark circles under her eyes and her face looked pale.
"I don't know what to do, Will. It's just too much to comprehend."
"Go talk to him. Work something out. Your strong. But this isn't something you can just kill and make go away. Love is just that. And you need it. Especailly now."
There was a silence between the two. Buffy remembered how scared Dawn was of her after her psycho inncident. She knew she wouldn't trust her for a long time.
Buffy looked up and flashed Willow a weak smile.
"How did you get so smart? I mean, you've always been brain smart. But why do I feel like you know me more than I know myself."
Willow looked at her hands.
"Well, there's something to it, actually."
"What do you mean," Buffy said, sitting up.
"Well. You know....when I brought you back. Well your soul....had to pass through me.....in order to get to your body. When you went through me, I sort of got a breif discription of your life. No personal details. Just a view of the main events in your life. Like, your parents getting divorced, you becoming the slayer, you having to go to the institue for a few days, you falling in love .......with humans and vampires...."
"You knew all that. You knew I would go for another vampire and you didn't tell me," she said angerly. She was mad, but weak, so she couldn't yell very loud.
"See. The thing is. I knew you would because it was in your history. Which means you already did........But there's more."
"What is it?"
"When you went through me....I also got a veiw of your future. And I don;t know how its going to go down, but I do know that it's going to get alot worse....before it gets better."
Buffy stared at her in the eyes. To Willow, she looked so lost. Like a child. And all Willow could do was comfort and hold. But that's it. She couldn't change what had happened or what was going to happen. She wrapped Buffy in a big hug.
"But, Buffy. You can make it better. You can go talk to him. I won't tell. But if you decided otherwise, I'll talk to everyone else."
They stayed there for a few minutes. Then Buffy gave Willow a quick squeeze and climbed to her feet.
"I'll do it. If you think it will make it better, I'll do it."
Willow's lips curled up into a grin.
"That's great."
Buffy turned to walk down the steps, then turned around.
"Did Xander ever tell you about the talk he gave me the night Riley left?"
"No. Why?"
"No reason." As she walked out the doore she mumbled under her breath," I guess great minds do think alike."
Buffy decided she needed to blow off any access steam before going and talking to him. She dusted five before heading to Spike's crypt.
When she got there, she noticed the door was wide open. She walked in.
"Spike," she called out. No answer. She slid down the sides of the ladder, landing on the ground with a loud thump. She looked around. No one. His dresser had all of the drawers pulled out and the clothes were gone. She felt her knees buckle. She leaned on the ladder to support her.
"He's gone," she whispered to herself.
She slowly climbed the ladder. She went and sat down on his couch and layed back. She inhaled the scent of leather and ciggerettes which she had grown so acustom to. Tears brimmed her eyes and she cried herself to sleep.
The next morning, Willow was walking through the cemetary. She knew Buffy needed her time with Spike to patch things up, but Buffy had a job and at the moment, that was the only source of income she had coming into their home.
She walked into the open door. She didn't hear anything. She looked around the room, and noticed Buffy's small form curled up on the couch, asleep. She sat down gently next to Buffy and placed a hand on her arm.
Buffy stirred at her touch. Her eyelids opened slightly, enough to see who was sitting next to her.
"Willow?" she asked softly.
"Yeah, Buffy. It's me. What happened?"
Buffy's eyes started to tear-up again. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.
"He left. He left and didn't leave me a single clue on where he went. Just like the others." Her whimpers turned to sobs, which shook her body voilently. Willow wrapped her into a hug, letting her tears soak her shirt. She knew she could do nothing about what Buffy was feeling, all she could do was comfort and hold and assure he would be back.
"Willow. I have to tell Dawn. Oh my god she is going to hate me. She's going to wonder what happened and then I have to tell her we were fighting and then she's going to say I made him leave."
"Come on. Let's get you home so you can rest. I'll talk to Dawn."
*****************************************************************
"Red really said all that?" asked Spike, amazed by how much Willow had stood up for him.
"Yeah. I was really glad we had that talk. She was there for me when I needed her. I can't believe she's...." Buffy let the sentence trail. Her eyes started to tear.
"Okay, luv. Don't start the water works. You still have to finish your story."
Buffy wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Okay."
*****************************************************************
When they got back to her house, Willow helped Buffy up to her room and made her lay down.
"I'll talk to Dawn. You just get some rest." She started to walk out the door.
"Will."
"Yeah," she said turning around.
"Wel....thanks. You have been a big help and its not even your problem."
"No problem. That's what friends are for."
She walked out of the room and went downstairs.
When Dawn got back from school that afternoon, Willow was waiting for her in the living room. Buffy had decided to go ahead to work late, so that she wouldn't have to be there when Dawn came.
"Dawn," Willow called her into the room.
"Yeah," she said, poking her head into the room.
Willow patted the place next to her," Come sit down."
Dawn obeyed. She put her backpack by the door and sat down next to her.
"What's wrong, Willow? Is everyone okay?"
"Well....yes and no."
Dawn eyes got wide.
"What happened? What's wrong with who? Willow tell me." Dawn was starting to get mad.
"Well.....it's Spike. He left."
"What do you mean he left? He's gone. When is he coming back? Where'd he go?" asked the frantic teen. Willow wrapped Dawn in a hug. Dawn started to cry.
"We don't know. He left last night. He didn't say where he was going or when he was coming back. ........Him and Buffy had a big fight."
Dawn sat straight up. Her eyes went fron scared to angry at light speed.
"What did she say to him? What did she do?"
"She didn't do anything. They had a fight. He needed a break from it all."
"All of what? From us? From me?" Her eyes clouded over again.
"No. Not you, Dawnie," she wrapped Dawn in another hug.
"I can't tell you everything. But I can tell you one thing. Maybe, when Buffy get's back from work. You can talk to her. By that I mean no yelling or screaming or accusing, and maybe you can get some more info from her."
Dawn didn't say anything. She just cried. Spike was her only true friend. And now he's gone.
"When do you think he'll be back?" Dawn asked, looking hopfully at Willow.
"I don't know. I just don't know."
When Buffy got back from work, she was exhausted. She trudged up to her room and flopped down on her bed, burying her face in her pillow. She started to drift to sleep, when there was a knok on her door.
"Come in," she called, not even looking up. Dawn walked into the room. She was wringing her hands nervously. Making sure she didn't lose her cool.
"Buffy?" She looked up to Dawn. She immediatly knew Willow had old her.
"What do you need?" she asked softly.
"Well....Willow said if I was really nice and didn't yell, you might tell me more about why Spike left. And please tell me everything. I'm not a little kid, I don't need you leaving out important details."
Buffy though about it for awhile, then sat up. She crosed her legs and motioned for Dawn to sit in front of her.
They sat in a slience for a few minutes while Buffy tried to think of how to tell her.
"So......what happened?" asked Dawn. Buffy thought of lying, but she knew Dawn would just be madder.
"Well....we...what exactly did Willow tell you?" she asked.
Dawn sighed deeply.
"She toldl me that Spike left because you two had a fight and he needed to take a break. Now what I want to know is what does he need a break from and what did you two fight about."
"Well.....we....we're sort of.....together."
"You mean like having sex."
Buffy was surprised at how bluntly Dawn had put it.
"Yeah."
"I knew it!" Dawn said gleefully. Again, Buffy was surprised at her reaction.
"Oh come on. I may be young but I'm not blind. All the late patroling. The way you two act when your within ten feet from each other. I can almost sense the tension. The way you look at each other. It's way obvious." Dawn's anger had vanished. She enjoyed saying 'I told you so' to her sister. Just in more words.
"Do you guys talk about this behind my bak or something?" asked Buffy.
"No. I just spend enough time around you two that I start to notice the way you act around each other. I'm a teenager, I notice these things."
Buffy just stared at her in amazment. She was hoping Dawn would forget about the fight. That's where she would get mad. No such luck.
"So. Why were you fighting?"
"Well. He was mad because I wouldn't tell anyone. I was afraid everyone would get mad. I was also kind of kusing him."
Dawn immediatly got mad again.
"How were you using him?"
"Well. I was really hurting. And I had all this energy from keeing my feelings to myself that the only way to let it out was to go to him. And it wasn't always.....sex......sometimes we would spare. Sort of. We would fight. Phsyicaly. And sometimes he really let me hurt him."
"So that's how he got all those cuts and bruises on his face at your birthday party. I can't believe you did that to him." She got of the bed. She forgot all about talking calmly.
"He loved you and you treated him like dirt. And now he's gone. What if he's dead? What then? He was my friend. My only friend. And he loved you. How could you do that to him?" Dawn was starting to cry. So was Buffy.
"I don't know, Dawn. The way he could get under my skin. The way he made me feel. It scared me. I didn't want to be hurt again. And, on top of that, I had just died. I was pulled from heaven, Dawn. I'll admit, I was mad. But he made me feel alive. Like I had never died. I was using him as medicine for my pain. And he was mad because I didn't telling anyone. He was happy that he could make me feel better, but he didn't want to do in secret." She started to sob as she layed back on the bed. Dawn stared at her sister in amazment. The she sat softly next to Buffy on her bed.
"B-Buffy? I'm sorry. We didn't know you were in heaven. And I could have been more understanding. I'm still mad, but I understand why you did it." Buffy's cries subsided. She wrapped Dawn in a huge hug. They cried together for a few minutes. Buffy held Dawn at arms length.
"We will find him. I promise."
*****************************************************************
"I told you LilBit knew. She's not stupid."
"Shut up. We're exchanging stories not 'I told you so's'."
*****************************************************************
They called everone they knew. Buffy even beat up Willy to try and get something out of him. Nothing. Buffy didn't even think to call Angel.
After about two months, they began to give up. Dawn always had hope, but she had stopped looking.
Then. Everything came crashing down.
They were having a party. It was Tara's birthday and everyone was there. They were having a great time, even though Buffy and Dawn were missing Spike's rude remarks about Xander and the way he could piss everyone off at the same time. But they were getting over it. A little.
"So, Tara. You ready to eat?" asked Xander.
"Sure. What's cooking?"
"Well, we bought everything, so nothings cooking. But we ordered pizza."
"Oh. Great. What kind?"
"Peperoni and extra cheese," said Dawn, walking in the room with the pizza.
"My favorite."
"Dammit," cursed Buffy from the kitchen.
"What is it, Buff?" asked Xander.
"We forgot the drinks. Hey, Will. You want to go get some from the convenance store down the street?"
"Sure." She grabbed her purse and coat.
"I'll be back in a few," she called. She walked out of the house. She walked down the street to the store. She came out with a bottle of Coke and a rose she bought for Tara.
She was walking down the street, when she felt herself be pushed to the ground.
"Hey!" she yelled. Then she felt a gun being placed by her head.
"Give me your money!" demanded a low voice. Willow was scared. She reached for her purse and gave it to the person.
"Please let me go," she pleaded. The person took out her wallet and counted the money. She only had about fifty.
"That's not even enough for your life." With that he shoved a large knife into her back. Willow gasped as she felt the knife peirce her heart. The person stabbed her a second time. A third. When he was satisfied she was dead, he dragged her into the bushes and left her.
Back at the house, everyone was getting worried.
"Where could she be?" asked Tara.
"The store was just down the street," said a pacing Buffy. She had picked up the bad habit from Spike.
"Maybe we should call the police," suggested Anya.
"No. Let's wait a few more minutes. She might have just been stalled. I'll go and check the store."
Buffy walked down to the store and back. Since Willow's body was in the bushes, Buffy never saw her.
When she got back, she was frantic.
"She not there. Call the police."
"We'll call you if we learn anything," said the police as they walked out the door. They had come and the gang had given them a desciption of what she was wearing and a picture.
"I'll take a sweep of the cemetary," said Buffy. She looked everywhere twice. She even checked Spike's crypt. Nothing.
The next day. Everyone was at home, but no one had slept. They were afraid of what had happened to Willow.
Then came the phone call.
The phone was ringing. Dawn aswered.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is Buffy Summers there? This is the Sunnydale Police Department."
"Is it about Willow? Have you found her?"
"Please let me speak to Miss Summers."
"Fine," Dawn huffed. She yelled for Buffy.
"Who is it?" asked Buffy, taking the phone.
"The police department." Buffy's eyes widened as she took the phone.
"Hello?"
"Is this Miss Buffy Summers?"
"Yes."
"Well. We think we may have Miss Willow Rosenburg."
"Is she okay? Where is she?"
"I'm sorry. She is dead. She was stabbed three times and robbed."
Buffy froze in shock.
"Miss Summers?"
Buffy dropped the phone. She fell against the wall as tears spilled over her eyes.
"Buffy? What's wrong? What happened?" Dawn was shouting now.
"She's dead," whispered Buffy.
"What?! No. NO! She can't be. She can't be dead?" Dawn started to cry. "There has to be a mistake. It's somone else. It has to be!"
Buffy climbed to her feet and hugged Dawn.
"Oh god, Dawn. I am so sorry." Then she remembered the phone.
She reached down and picked it.
"H-hello? Are you sure it's her?"
"Almost. You have to come and identify the body, though."
"The body," Buffy whispered. She remembered the paramedics refering to her mother as 'the body'.
"Yes. Of course. I'll be there in a minute." She hung up the phone.Then her knees buckled under her as she passed out.
"Buffy!" screamed Dawn. She picked up the phone and called Tara.
"Hello?"
"Tara! You have to come over. Buffy passed out. And .....we have to tell you something."
"I'll be right over. Put a cold washcloth on her forehead."
"Okay. Hurry." She hung up the phone. She kneeled down next to Buffy.
"Come on. Wake up, she said shaking her. She ran into the kitchen and ran cold water over a rag. She placed it on Buffy's head.
"Come on, Buffy. We'll get through this. Don't go catatonic on us again."
She heard the door open and shut.
"In here!" shouted Dawn.
"What happened?" Tara asked as she kneeled next to Buffy.
"She was on the phone......with the police," she said the last part in a whisper. Tara looked at her, fear in her eyes.
"She's dead," said Dawn, talking about Willow. Tara froze. She wanted to scream. To curse whoever had done this to her lover. But her first priority was Buffy. She took some smelling salts out of her purse and waved them under her nose. Buffy stirred. Her eyes fluttered and opened. She saw Tara looking down at her.
"Oh, Tara," she said, wrapping Tara in a hug. She started to cry also. They sat on the floor, crying over Willow. Buffy pulled Dawn into the hug too.
"We have to tell the others," said Tara through her sobs.
"Yeah. Call Xander. And don't forget Giles. He deserves to know."
The funeral was a week later. The gang was there, even Giles who had flown in to pay his respects. They dressed her in her favorite shirt and skirt. Her parents had flown in also. The man who had stabbed her was never found.
Tara was so torn up she decided she couldn't stay in Sunnydale. She asked Giles if she could go and live with him in London. He agreed since he had an extra room and it would be nice to have some company.
A few months, and everyone was back to their normal schedule. Buffy had quit her job and convinced Anya to give her a job at the Magic Box so that she could pick up Dawn everyday after school and keep an eye on her. It was hard, but hse managed. She visited Willow's grave everyday. Putting a new rose by the head stone so that it was always colorful.
The gang gave Tara a call every weekend, to make sure she was coping. She was becoming a very powerful witch. Not as powerful as Willow, she made sure of that, but she used her powers to help the council with the vampire population in London.
Xander didn't cope as easily. He had known Willow all his life and he just refused to get on with his life, no matter how much everyone comforted him. Anya complained about how she wasn't getting any love from Xander. They would fight. Anya was lonely. They grew farther apart.
Then D'Hoffryn made Anya an offer. He said he would make Anya immortal, but not a vengence demon.
The price.
She had to leave Xander and live in Europe to trane new vengence demons.
She thought about it. Talked it over with everyone. And decided to take D'Hoffryn up on his offer. She left.
Xander was devasted. His best friend was dead and his lover was immortal and hundreds of thousands of miles away. He became depressed. Buffy and Dawn tried to comfort him, but they were hurting just as much.
Just for different people.
Buffy tried to keep the Magic Box open, but she just wasn't very good at running the store. She had to shut it down. She still used the training room to train and the books for research, but the store was out of buisness. She had to take her job at the Doublemeat Palace again.
Then Xander decided he couldn't stay. He said there were too many memories and he could be here. Buffy begged him to say. He was her only friend she had left besides her sister. He didn't listen. He left Sunnydale with a promise he would call.
He never did.
When everyone was gone, the Summers girls were beyond depressed. Buffy was on the verge of getting fired and Dawn was expelled from school for starting fight with kids at school. The money was short and Buffy was about to lose the house.
She decided to leave, also. She called Giles to tell him. He sent her a check in the mail for five thousand dollars. To get her life rolling where ever she went.
She thought about running to Angel, but relized that could just make it worse. So she bought plane tickets and she and Dawn moved to Florida. They bought a small house and Buffy got a job at yet another fast food restraunt. But this was a better one. Danw liked the food they served so they didn't have to worry about dinner every night. Her job paid good money and she managed to give Dawn a better life. She made new friends and went to a new school.
Buffy even managed to go to court with her father for child support which he hadn't paid in awhile. That brought an extra seven hundred dollars into their house every week.
On Dawn's eighteenth birthday, Buffy let her have a beach party with some of Dawn's new friends.
Then, Dawn met a guy. His name was Jake Medson. Buffy had met him. He was really nice. Dawn thought the world of him. The went out just about every night. The went to the same college. But Dawn still lived at home instead of in dorms. She knew Buffy needed her.
Tara had called Buffy and told her Spike was back and looking for her. But, Buffy decided life was too good and she couldn't ruin it because she needed someone. She knew she would return someday to Sunnydale. Just not today. She needed to be alone.
When Dawn was nineteen, Jake proposed to her. She said yes. Buffy was very happy for her. It took everything she had not to try and contact Spike.
A few months later Dawn was Mrs. Medson. They had had a wedding on the beach. Buffy had been Dawn's Maid of Honor. Dawn moved in with him. Buffy was happy for them. She became friends with Jake's parents. They made sure Dawn and Jake had everything they needed.
A few months after they got married, Dawn found out she was pregnet. Nine months later, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She named her Gabrial Lynn Medson. She was healthy in every way. She had Jake's blonde hair and Dawn's brown eyes.
After that happened, Buffy knew she had to contact Spike. She knew he would want to know. So she bought a round ticket to Sunnydale.
*****************************************************************
"And that's when I saw you," she said, finishing her story.
"I can't believe Nibblet got hitched. And pregnet. And you didn't even try to contact me."
"I didn't want you to know where I was. I was afraid if I talked to you would convince me to come back. And I couldn't leave Dawn. Not then."
"Well. Now you came. Are you just going to go or what? You said you bought a round ticket."
"Well. I actually two tickets. I bought a round ticket for me, and a one-way for you. They're both at night. I want you to see Dawn. And Gabrial. You deserve to see them." Spike was surprised. But then he smirked.
"I also want to see this bloke, Jake. Does anyone else know?"
"Tara and Giles do. They came in when Dawn had Gabby. That's her nickname. They flew in for two nights, but then they had to go. Xander doesn't know. I couldn't find him."
"When does this flight leave?"
"Tonight."
"What time?"
"In about two hours."
"Well, then. We had better get movin'"
"What ever you say, luv."
~FlashBack~
*****************************************************************
"Oh god, what have I done?"
After she had stomped out of his crypt, she immediatly regreted everything she had said in there. She wanted to go back, but then she remembered everything he had said to her, and kept walking.
When she got back to her house, Willow was in the living room doing some homework.
"Hey Buffy. What's wro...." She stopped when Buffy didn't answer her. She listened to her slam the door to her room. She sighed.
In Buffy's room, she flopped down on the bed. She stared at the ceiling for a matter of seconds, then burst into tears. She hadn't cried this much since Angel. It hurt so much.
Willow showed up in the doorway. She walked over to her friend and placed a comforting hand on her arm.
"What's wrong?" she asked. Even though she kind of had a clue. But, Buffy didn't know that.
"I...We...Nothing," she finally gave up. She had stopped crying and just layed on the pillow.
"Buffy. You have to tell me. I can't help unless you tell me."
"Will....I have...something...to tell you."
"I'm all ears."
"I....I'm.....I-I'm-sleeping-with-Spike," she said the last part in a rush. She stole a glance at Willow, amazed to see that she was smiling. She sighed.
"What? Did you think I would be mad? Buffy, this isn't like you. You've never cared about what other people think about you."
"But Willow you can't tell."
"What's the worst that would happen? Xander might be wigged but he can get over it. Giles will lecture, sure, but that's never stopped you before. And besides them I don't see why the others would apsolutly hate you for it."
"But-"
"No. Buffy this isn't healthy. You need some love in your life. And if the only way you can get it is to be with somone your friends hate, your friends can get over it."
Suddenly, Buffy got off the bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Willow followed her and stood in the hall. When she heard the toilet flush, she walked into the bathroom. Buffy was leaned against the wall. She had dark circles under her eyes and her face looked pale.
"I don't know what to do, Will. It's just too much to comprehend."
"Go talk to him. Work something out. Your strong. But this isn't something you can just kill and make go away. Love is just that. And you need it. Especailly now."
There was a silence between the two. Buffy remembered how scared Dawn was of her after her psycho inncident. She knew she wouldn't trust her for a long time.
Buffy looked up and flashed Willow a weak smile.
"How did you get so smart? I mean, you've always been brain smart. But why do I feel like you know me more than I know myself."
Willow looked at her hands.
"Well, there's something to it, actually."
"What do you mean," Buffy said, sitting up.
"Well. You know....when I brought you back. Well your soul....had to pass through me.....in order to get to your body. When you went through me, I sort of got a breif discription of your life. No personal details. Just a view of the main events in your life. Like, your parents getting divorced, you becoming the slayer, you having to go to the institue for a few days, you falling in love .......with humans and vampires...."
"You knew all that. You knew I would go for another vampire and you didn't tell me," she said angerly. She was mad, but weak, so she couldn't yell very loud.
"See. The thing is. I knew you would because it was in your history. Which means you already did........But there's more."
"What is it?"
"When you went through me....I also got a veiw of your future. And I don;t know how its going to go down, but I do know that it's going to get alot worse....before it gets better."
Buffy stared at her in the eyes. To Willow, she looked so lost. Like a child. And all Willow could do was comfort and hold. But that's it. She couldn't change what had happened or what was going to happen. She wrapped Buffy in a big hug.
"But, Buffy. You can make it better. You can go talk to him. I won't tell. But if you decided otherwise, I'll talk to everyone else."
They stayed there for a few minutes. Then Buffy gave Willow a quick squeeze and climbed to her feet.
"I'll do it. If you think it will make it better, I'll do it."
Willow's lips curled up into a grin.
"That's great."
Buffy turned to walk down the steps, then turned around.
"Did Xander ever tell you about the talk he gave me the night Riley left?"
"No. Why?"
"No reason." As she walked out the doore she mumbled under her breath," I guess great minds do think alike."
Buffy decided she needed to blow off any access steam before going and talking to him. She dusted five before heading to Spike's crypt.
When she got there, she noticed the door was wide open. She walked in.
"Spike," she called out. No answer. She slid down the sides of the ladder, landing on the ground with a loud thump. She looked around. No one. His dresser had all of the drawers pulled out and the clothes were gone. She felt her knees buckle. She leaned on the ladder to support her.
"He's gone," she whispered to herself.
She slowly climbed the ladder. She went and sat down on his couch and layed back. She inhaled the scent of leather and ciggerettes which she had grown so acustom to. Tears brimmed her eyes and she cried herself to sleep.
The next morning, Willow was walking through the cemetary. She knew Buffy needed her time with Spike to patch things up, but Buffy had a job and at the moment, that was the only source of income she had coming into their home.
She walked into the open door. She didn't hear anything. She looked around the room, and noticed Buffy's small form curled up on the couch, asleep. She sat down gently next to Buffy and placed a hand on her arm.
Buffy stirred at her touch. Her eyelids opened slightly, enough to see who was sitting next to her.
"Willow?" she asked softly.
"Yeah, Buffy. It's me. What happened?"
Buffy's eyes started to tear-up again. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.
"He left. He left and didn't leave me a single clue on where he went. Just like the others." Her whimpers turned to sobs, which shook her body voilently. Willow wrapped her into a hug, letting her tears soak her shirt. She knew she could do nothing about what Buffy was feeling, all she could do was comfort and hold and assure he would be back.
"Willow. I have to tell Dawn. Oh my god she is going to hate me. She's going to wonder what happened and then I have to tell her we were fighting and then she's going to say I made him leave."
"Come on. Let's get you home so you can rest. I'll talk to Dawn."
*****************************************************************
"Red really said all that?" asked Spike, amazed by how much Willow had stood up for him.
"Yeah. I was really glad we had that talk. She was there for me when I needed her. I can't believe she's...." Buffy let the sentence trail. Her eyes started to tear.
"Okay, luv. Don't start the water works. You still have to finish your story."
Buffy wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Okay."
*****************************************************************
When they got back to her house, Willow helped Buffy up to her room and made her lay down.
"I'll talk to Dawn. You just get some rest." She started to walk out the door.
"Will."
"Yeah," she said turning around.
"Wel....thanks. You have been a big help and its not even your problem."
"No problem. That's what friends are for."
She walked out of the room and went downstairs.
When Dawn got back from school that afternoon, Willow was waiting for her in the living room. Buffy had decided to go ahead to work late, so that she wouldn't have to be there when Dawn came.
"Dawn," Willow called her into the room.
"Yeah," she said, poking her head into the room.
Willow patted the place next to her," Come sit down."
Dawn obeyed. She put her backpack by the door and sat down next to her.
"What's wrong, Willow? Is everyone okay?"
"Well....yes and no."
Dawn eyes got wide.
"What happened? What's wrong with who? Willow tell me." Dawn was starting to get mad.
"Well.....it's Spike. He left."
"What do you mean he left? He's gone. When is he coming back? Where'd he go?" asked the frantic teen. Willow wrapped Dawn in a hug. Dawn started to cry.
"We don't know. He left last night. He didn't say where he was going or when he was coming back. ........Him and Buffy had a big fight."
Dawn sat straight up. Her eyes went fron scared to angry at light speed.
"What did she say to him? What did she do?"
"She didn't do anything. They had a fight. He needed a break from it all."
"All of what? From us? From me?" Her eyes clouded over again.
"No. Not you, Dawnie," she wrapped Dawn in another hug.
"I can't tell you everything. But I can tell you one thing. Maybe, when Buffy get's back from work. You can talk to her. By that I mean no yelling or screaming or accusing, and maybe you can get some more info from her."
Dawn didn't say anything. She just cried. Spike was her only true friend. And now he's gone.
"When do you think he'll be back?" Dawn asked, looking hopfully at Willow.
"I don't know. I just don't know."
When Buffy got back from work, she was exhausted. She trudged up to her room and flopped down on her bed, burying her face in her pillow. She started to drift to sleep, when there was a knok on her door.
"Come in," she called, not even looking up. Dawn walked into the room. She was wringing her hands nervously. Making sure she didn't lose her cool.
"Buffy?" She looked up to Dawn. She immediatly knew Willow had old her.
"What do you need?" she asked softly.
"Well....Willow said if I was really nice and didn't yell, you might tell me more about why Spike left. And please tell me everything. I'm not a little kid, I don't need you leaving out important details."
Buffy though about it for awhile, then sat up. She crosed her legs and motioned for Dawn to sit in front of her.
They sat in a slience for a few minutes while Buffy tried to think of how to tell her.
"So......what happened?" asked Dawn. Buffy thought of lying, but she knew Dawn would just be madder.
"Well....we...what exactly did Willow tell you?" she asked.
Dawn sighed deeply.
"She toldl me that Spike left because you two had a fight and he needed to take a break. Now what I want to know is what does he need a break from and what did you two fight about."
"Well.....we....we're sort of.....together."
"You mean like having sex."
Buffy was surprised at how bluntly Dawn had put it.
"Yeah."
"I knew it!" Dawn said gleefully. Again, Buffy was surprised at her reaction.
"Oh come on. I may be young but I'm not blind. All the late patroling. The way you two act when your within ten feet from each other. I can almost sense the tension. The way you look at each other. It's way obvious." Dawn's anger had vanished. She enjoyed saying 'I told you so' to her sister. Just in more words.
"Do you guys talk about this behind my bak or something?" asked Buffy.
"No. I just spend enough time around you two that I start to notice the way you act around each other. I'm a teenager, I notice these things."
Buffy just stared at her in amazment. She was hoping Dawn would forget about the fight. That's where she would get mad. No such luck.
"So. Why were you fighting?"
"Well. He was mad because I wouldn't tell anyone. I was afraid everyone would get mad. I was also kind of kusing him."
Dawn immediatly got mad again.
"How were you using him?"
"Well. I was really hurting. And I had all this energy from keeing my feelings to myself that the only way to let it out was to go to him. And it wasn't always.....sex......sometimes we would spare. Sort of. We would fight. Phsyicaly. And sometimes he really let me hurt him."
"So that's how he got all those cuts and bruises on his face at your birthday party. I can't believe you did that to him." She got of the bed. She forgot all about talking calmly.
"He loved you and you treated him like dirt. And now he's gone. What if he's dead? What then? He was my friend. My only friend. And he loved you. How could you do that to him?" Dawn was starting to cry. So was Buffy.
"I don't know, Dawn. The way he could get under my skin. The way he made me feel. It scared me. I didn't want to be hurt again. And, on top of that, I had just died. I was pulled from heaven, Dawn. I'll admit, I was mad. But he made me feel alive. Like I had never died. I was using him as medicine for my pain. And he was mad because I didn't telling anyone. He was happy that he could make me feel better, but he didn't want to do in secret." She started to sob as she layed back on the bed. Dawn stared at her sister in amazment. The she sat softly next to Buffy on her bed.
"B-Buffy? I'm sorry. We didn't know you were in heaven. And I could have been more understanding. I'm still mad, but I understand why you did it." Buffy's cries subsided. She wrapped Dawn in a huge hug. They cried together for a few minutes. Buffy held Dawn at arms length.
"We will find him. I promise."
*****************************************************************
"I told you LilBit knew. She's not stupid."
"Shut up. We're exchanging stories not 'I told you so's'."
*****************************************************************
They called everone they knew. Buffy even beat up Willy to try and get something out of him. Nothing. Buffy didn't even think to call Angel.
After about two months, they began to give up. Dawn always had hope, but she had stopped looking.
Then. Everything came crashing down.
They were having a party. It was Tara's birthday and everyone was there. They were having a great time, even though Buffy and Dawn were missing Spike's rude remarks about Xander and the way he could piss everyone off at the same time. But they were getting over it. A little.
"So, Tara. You ready to eat?" asked Xander.
"Sure. What's cooking?"
"Well, we bought everything, so nothings cooking. But we ordered pizza."
"Oh. Great. What kind?"
"Peperoni and extra cheese," said Dawn, walking in the room with the pizza.
"My favorite."
"Dammit," cursed Buffy from the kitchen.
"What is it, Buff?" asked Xander.
"We forgot the drinks. Hey, Will. You want to go get some from the convenance store down the street?"
"Sure." She grabbed her purse and coat.
"I'll be back in a few," she called. She walked out of the house. She walked down the street to the store. She came out with a bottle of Coke and a rose she bought for Tara.
She was walking down the street, when she felt herself be pushed to the ground.
"Hey!" she yelled. Then she felt a gun being placed by her head.
"Give me your money!" demanded a low voice. Willow was scared. She reached for her purse and gave it to the person.
"Please let me go," she pleaded. The person took out her wallet and counted the money. She only had about fifty.
"That's not even enough for your life." With that he shoved a large knife into her back. Willow gasped as she felt the knife peirce her heart. The person stabbed her a second time. A third. When he was satisfied she was dead, he dragged her into the bushes and left her.
Back at the house, everyone was getting worried.
"Where could she be?" asked Tara.
"The store was just down the street," said a pacing Buffy. She had picked up the bad habit from Spike.
"Maybe we should call the police," suggested Anya.
"No. Let's wait a few more minutes. She might have just been stalled. I'll go and check the store."
Buffy walked down to the store and back. Since Willow's body was in the bushes, Buffy never saw her.
When she got back, she was frantic.
"She not there. Call the police."
"We'll call you if we learn anything," said the police as they walked out the door. They had come and the gang had given them a desciption of what she was wearing and a picture.
"I'll take a sweep of the cemetary," said Buffy. She looked everywhere twice. She even checked Spike's crypt. Nothing.
The next day. Everyone was at home, but no one had slept. They were afraid of what had happened to Willow.
Then came the phone call.
The phone was ringing. Dawn aswered.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is Buffy Summers there? This is the Sunnydale Police Department."
"Is it about Willow? Have you found her?"
"Please let me speak to Miss Summers."
"Fine," Dawn huffed. She yelled for Buffy.
"Who is it?" asked Buffy, taking the phone.
"The police department." Buffy's eyes widened as she took the phone.
"Hello?"
"Is this Miss Buffy Summers?"
"Yes."
"Well. We think we may have Miss Willow Rosenburg."
"Is she okay? Where is she?"
"I'm sorry. She is dead. She was stabbed three times and robbed."
Buffy froze in shock.
"Miss Summers?"
Buffy dropped the phone. She fell against the wall as tears spilled over her eyes.
"Buffy? What's wrong? What happened?" Dawn was shouting now.
"She's dead," whispered Buffy.
"What?! No. NO! She can't be. She can't be dead?" Dawn started to cry. "There has to be a mistake. It's somone else. It has to be!"
Buffy climbed to her feet and hugged Dawn.
"Oh god, Dawn. I am so sorry." Then she remembered the phone.
She reached down and picked it.
"H-hello? Are you sure it's her?"
"Almost. You have to come and identify the body, though."
"The body," Buffy whispered. She remembered the paramedics refering to her mother as 'the body'.
"Yes. Of course. I'll be there in a minute." She hung up the phone.Then her knees buckled under her as she passed out.
"Buffy!" screamed Dawn. She picked up the phone and called Tara.
"Hello?"
"Tara! You have to come over. Buffy passed out. And .....we have to tell you something."
"I'll be right over. Put a cold washcloth on her forehead."
"Okay. Hurry." She hung up the phone. She kneeled down next to Buffy.
"Come on. Wake up, she said shaking her. She ran into the kitchen and ran cold water over a rag. She placed it on Buffy's head.
"Come on, Buffy. We'll get through this. Don't go catatonic on us again."
She heard the door open and shut.
"In here!" shouted Dawn.
"What happened?" Tara asked as she kneeled next to Buffy.
"She was on the phone......with the police," she said the last part in a whisper. Tara looked at her, fear in her eyes.
"She's dead," said Dawn, talking about Willow. Tara froze. She wanted to scream. To curse whoever had done this to her lover. But her first priority was Buffy. She took some smelling salts out of her purse and waved them under her nose. Buffy stirred. Her eyes fluttered and opened. She saw Tara looking down at her.
"Oh, Tara," she said, wrapping Tara in a hug. She started to cry also. They sat on the floor, crying over Willow. Buffy pulled Dawn into the hug too.
"We have to tell the others," said Tara through her sobs.
"Yeah. Call Xander. And don't forget Giles. He deserves to know."
The funeral was a week later. The gang was there, even Giles who had flown in to pay his respects. They dressed her in her favorite shirt and skirt. Her parents had flown in also. The man who had stabbed her was never found.
Tara was so torn up she decided she couldn't stay in Sunnydale. She asked Giles if she could go and live with him in London. He agreed since he had an extra room and it would be nice to have some company.
A few months, and everyone was back to their normal schedule. Buffy had quit her job and convinced Anya to give her a job at the Magic Box so that she could pick up Dawn everyday after school and keep an eye on her. It was hard, but hse managed. She visited Willow's grave everyday. Putting a new rose by the head stone so that it was always colorful.
The gang gave Tara a call every weekend, to make sure she was coping. She was becoming a very powerful witch. Not as powerful as Willow, she made sure of that, but she used her powers to help the council with the vampire population in London.
Xander didn't cope as easily. He had known Willow all his life and he just refused to get on with his life, no matter how much everyone comforted him. Anya complained about how she wasn't getting any love from Xander. They would fight. Anya was lonely. They grew farther apart.
Then D'Hoffryn made Anya an offer. He said he would make Anya immortal, but not a vengence demon.
The price.
She had to leave Xander and live in Europe to trane new vengence demons.
She thought about it. Talked it over with everyone. And decided to take D'Hoffryn up on his offer. She left.
Xander was devasted. His best friend was dead and his lover was immortal and hundreds of thousands of miles away. He became depressed. Buffy and Dawn tried to comfort him, but they were hurting just as much.
Just for different people.
Buffy tried to keep the Magic Box open, but she just wasn't very good at running the store. She had to shut it down. She still used the training room to train and the books for research, but the store was out of buisness. She had to take her job at the Doublemeat Palace again.
Then Xander decided he couldn't stay. He said there were too many memories and he could be here. Buffy begged him to say. He was her only friend she had left besides her sister. He didn't listen. He left Sunnydale with a promise he would call.
He never did.
When everyone was gone, the Summers girls were beyond depressed. Buffy was on the verge of getting fired and Dawn was expelled from school for starting fight with kids at school. The money was short and Buffy was about to lose the house.
She decided to leave, also. She called Giles to tell him. He sent her a check in the mail for five thousand dollars. To get her life rolling where ever she went.
She thought about running to Angel, but relized that could just make it worse. So she bought plane tickets and she and Dawn moved to Florida. They bought a small house and Buffy got a job at yet another fast food restraunt. But this was a better one. Danw liked the food they served so they didn't have to worry about dinner every night. Her job paid good money and she managed to give Dawn a better life. She made new friends and went to a new school.
Buffy even managed to go to court with her father for child support which he hadn't paid in awhile. That brought an extra seven hundred dollars into their house every week.
On Dawn's eighteenth birthday, Buffy let her have a beach party with some of Dawn's new friends.
Then, Dawn met a guy. His name was Jake Medson. Buffy had met him. He was really nice. Dawn thought the world of him. The went out just about every night. The went to the same college. But Dawn still lived at home instead of in dorms. She knew Buffy needed her.
Tara had called Buffy and told her Spike was back and looking for her. But, Buffy decided life was too good and she couldn't ruin it because she needed someone. She knew she would return someday to Sunnydale. Just not today. She needed to be alone.
When Dawn was nineteen, Jake proposed to her. She said yes. Buffy was very happy for her. It took everything she had not to try and contact Spike.
A few months later Dawn was Mrs. Medson. They had had a wedding on the beach. Buffy had been Dawn's Maid of Honor. Dawn moved in with him. Buffy was happy for them. She became friends with Jake's parents. They made sure Dawn and Jake had everything they needed.
A few months after they got married, Dawn found out she was pregnet. Nine months later, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She named her Gabrial Lynn Medson. She was healthy in every way. She had Jake's blonde hair and Dawn's brown eyes.
After that happened, Buffy knew she had to contact Spike. She knew he would want to know. So she bought a round ticket to Sunnydale.
*****************************************************************
"And that's when I saw you," she said, finishing her story.
"I can't believe Nibblet got hitched. And pregnet. And you didn't even try to contact me."
"I didn't want you to know where I was. I was afraid if I talked to you would convince me to come back. And I couldn't leave Dawn. Not then."
"Well. Now you came. Are you just going to go or what? You said you bought a round ticket."
"Well. I actually two tickets. I bought a round ticket for me, and a one-way for you. They're both at night. I want you to see Dawn. And Gabrial. You deserve to see them." Spike was surprised. But then he smirked.
"I also want to see this bloke, Jake. Does anyone else know?"
"Tara and Giles do. They came in when Dawn had Gabby. That's her nickname. They flew in for two nights, but then they had to go. Xander doesn't know. I couldn't find him."
"When does this flight leave?"
"Tonight."
"What time?"
"In about two hours."
"Well, then. We had better get movin'"