Fast Duck, Shallow Water
A/N- This one's dedicated to waterlily, for giving me the suggestion of the next Duck for a rant. And samandiriel, for her correction of my Banksie-angst assessment. ^_^
*****
To the Duck fans:
I know that Ken already ranted on being ignored. So I've gotta say, what he said! And more! Not only am I ignored, people keep portraying me as such a jerk! I'm so intolerant of gays I beat them up when they're on my own team. I do nothing but crash into things when I'm on the ice. I do nothing but chase girls when I'm off the ice.
I happen to have a steady girlfriend now, thanks very much! And I'm getting a lot better at stopping. And I'm sure it wouldn't bother me to find out any of the Ducks are gay.
I know, I know. It's all justified, right? Going after Connie in the D2 book, that girl on the plane on the D3 book, all the cheerleaders... but things are different now! I was just in search of Ms. Right!
And now that I found her, people keep trying to break us up!
Yeah, I know again. You jerk, you stole the girl from Riley. I have to ask, what are you thinking? He didn't deserve her anyway!
Then there's the stopping issue. Like I said, I've gotten better.
But the only thing I seem to do in any games that anyone writes about is crash! There is a reason they put me on the team, you know, I can play.
Remember that spectacular goal I made against Iceland? Didn't think so. I stopped and everything, and I saved the game, because every goal in that game was important.
And against Blake! It takes real talent to put the puck in the net while jumping over it! Give it a try sometime, before you go insulting my skills.
Of course, this is only in the fics that bother to mention me. I'm usually just in the story to hit on some new girl, if that even.
Cut me some slack, here. Give me a little credit. There's more to me than the girls and the stopping. Most Ducks would think I'm crazy for saying this, but why don't I get any angst? Charlie gets angst, Banksie gets angst (and angst, and angst, and angst, and angst...), even Averman and Goldberg get angst!
What about me?
Ow I'm not saying I do or don't have anything to angst about. But everyone else gets angst! Give me equal treatment, one angsty story, that's all I ask! Or heck, just one story that I'm anything more than a shallow flirt! Honestly.
Think about it.
Signed, Luis Mendoza