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Also, this is my first DigiFic, so please be kind. Mainly centered around how I always thought that by the mid-02, it seemed as if Yamato and Ken would be much closer than he and his brother. Just thinking..
It's not like you're trying to. As Ken, you would never intentionally hurt me this way. I have to realize this is as much his doing as yours. Yamato, my brother, made the decision to befriend you. You already had Daisuke and the rest of the team, but Daisuke only saw the good and strong in you. He didn't see the Kaizer.
As far as the rest of us were concerned, that part of you was nothing but a memory that would never bother us again. That's not how it is though, is it? Like a ghost he comes in the middle of the night and haunts you, and you know that the Darkness is just as much a part of you as Kindness. You tell us in a thousand ways that he's still there. He is a part of you; I can see it in your eyes. Hikari knows it too.
I guess that's why you two hit it off so well when you went to Mexico. He knew what you'd experienced, because it had happened to him. You know what is hidden behind his icy blue eyes, because you keep it locked away too. That black force that captured you and tainted your hearts.
Even now, I don't want to admit it's there. To do so would to be realizing one of the people closest and dearest to me harbored something I despised. Yamato harbors the same darkness that killed Patamon, the same darkness that brought so much grief to the rest of us. The darkness which tormented Hikari, and the darkness that you spread over the Digiworld.
To admit that my brother has it is to admit that it cannot be destroyed. I can't ever believe that something so foul and black has to exist in the universe. There has to be a way to scourge it from the earth, and from the both of you.
But until then, I have to watch you grow closer and closer to him every day. I remember when all he cared about was keeping me safe from the mons that were intent on slicing us to bits. Sometimes I miss those days, because it meant that if I woke up from fear, he would be beside me. My big brother, the fearless, the brave, my protector.
I no longer need him that way. I'm independent, and in some ways, have taken his place. Daisuke is our leader, and I am there one step behind him. Then again, I have no one to protect. Sure, he's always there if I need him, but it's not the same.
Yamato no longer has to hold my hand. He's let go, and trusts me to make the best decisions I can. But when you stepped into the picture, he fell away from me.
He's the brother you never had. The one that helped you overcome the nightmares and monsters under the bed. The type of brother that's there every step of the way because he knows how hard life can be. And, unlike me, you don't think he's invincible. You see him as he is, both the faults and strengths. Because he's just like you. Brothers that could just go out to some coffee shop when one needed the other, and just talk.
Yamato and I never talked. I always thought he'd just naturally know how to help me, and do it. I never recognized what he needed from me.
So keep on taking him away from me bit by bit. I know I've been unfair, but how could I have known that someone would come along who needed him more than me? He's my brother, and he will always be, but we aren't the same. We're dark and light; but you two walk through shadows. As Daisuke helps mend your heart and broken soul, he's there to help you conquer the darkness that plagues your thoughts.
I guess I can't hate you. Because you have helped me to love him more. You've helped me see him for the real person behind the icy exterior, and not just my all-powerful brother.
So thank you Ken. I know someone's going to always watch out for my brother.
Even if it's not me.