I do not own Artemis Fowl or any of the other characters. The story alone is mine.
Artemis Fowl Two
Chapter 1
"Arty, are you doing your homework?"
"Yes mother." Artemis Fowl replied while he breezed over the computer screen in front of him which showed the very detailed blueprints to an extravagant bank. His school books lay untouched in a bag near his bed. As if Artemis Fowl, 12 year old criminal mastermind was actually going to do his simple minded homework at home. He had completed it on the car ride home. It was absolutely ridiculous. He was much to smart for the work, he shouldn't even be in school, he should be doing what he did best, plotting illegal ways to get money. Artemis was NOT going to rob a bank. He would never get so desperate as to do such a petty crime that was only fit for mere robbers. He was staring at the blueprints so that he could plan the perfect entrance to meet his contact. His contact would be giving information that would help in a plot that was worthy of the great Artemis Fowl.
"Artemis?"
"Yes Butler." Fowl's gigantic manservant stepped into the room. "Mrs. Fowl wants to know if you are doing you homework sir."
"Yes I know Butler. Tell her I'm nearly finished." The manservant nodded.
"And what are you really doing?" Fowl smiled.
"Well Butler, let's just say that you and I are going on a little trip this weekend." Butler hesitated, then cleared his throat.
"Does Angeline know about this?"
"She will soon enough Butler, now go and see her."
"Yes sir." Butler turned and left the room closing the door behind him. Artemis smiled again; it was good to know that he had the loyalty of such a great person as Butler. He was a good friend and a very good accessory to Artemis' most recent plot.
"Hey Fowl, ya gonna eat that?" the pudgy blond boy asked, his green eyes shining greedily. Artemis looked up from his book, his cool eyes looking at the pathetic mass of a fat, skin, bones, and more fat that hovered above him.
"Do you even know what the word cholesterol means Duncan?" A skinny red headed boy laughed.
"Ya he knows all right. But he doesn't care or nothin'"
"Anything." Artemis said automatically.
"What?" The red head asked.
" 'He doesn't care or anything'. Not nothing."
"You are pathetic Artemis." The red head said looking at him curiously.
"Well are ya gonna eat it or not?" Duncan wined.
"If you do not mind putting your own life at the risk of ending sooner than what it would most likely be and not even get anything out of it besides a few extra minutes of tasteful satisfaction the suite yourself." Duncan gave Artemis a blank look. He sighed. "Take the brownie Duncan."
"Ah thanks Arty, you're a real pal." Artemis shuddered. There were only two people who he would let call him 'Arty', and they were is mother, and Butler's sister Juliet. He was about to warn Duncan about doing such a thing when the red head began to speak.
"So Artemis what are ya readin' anyway?"
"Well this fantastic object is called a book Eric. I am sure the school will be teaching you about them soon." He began to read again, but not before chastising himself for making a joke. Honestly, he had been making so many ever since he started going to school again, it was really devastating.
"Well if you aren't Mr. Sarcastic." Eric leaned across the table and took the book from Artemis' hands.
"What do you think you are doing?" Artemis demanded standing up.
"Would you relax? It's not like I'm gonna steal it or anything."
"Give it back Eric." Eric rolled his eyes and peered at the book Artemis had been reading. He would have read it out loud, but he couldn't. There weren't any letters in the book. It was all indecipherable pictures and symbols.
"What in the world…"
"I said give it back." Artemis said harshly snatching The Book from Eric's hands. He sat down and immediately put it back in his bag. He had been very foolish thinking he could bring it without anyone noticing. But he did need to find something out and he only had until the weekend. That was just two days away and with his mother always coming up to check on him there was very little private time at home.
"What language was that Fowl?" Eric asked.
"Egyptian." Artemis answered without the slightest bit of hesitation.
"You can read Egyptian?"
"No. I was merely seeing if I could decipher any of the meanings of the symbols by comparing them with modern symbols of today."
"Whatever."
"Why on Earth would you wanna know Egyptian Arty?" Duncan asked his mouth still full with the remains of Artemis' brownie. "They make books in English ya know. But the even more better question is why would you wanna read any book at all. They make TV. shows that tell ya about anythin' you'd ever wanna know. You really should watch some TV. Arty I mean…" Then there was a loud crash as Duncan's enormous body hit the floor and his chair clattered out from under him. Artemis had swiftly kicked it away with such precision that he knew Butler would have been proud. Artemis stood and stared at Duncan who lay at his feet. Eric's eyes were wide and he to stood, staring across the table at Duncan.
"My name is Artemis. Artemis Fowl II. You do not refer to me as 'Arty'. You will never again do this, that is if you know what is good for you, which you obviously do not considering your eating habits. So I suggest you learn, and quickly." Artemis picked up his bag and strode swiftly out of the cafeteria. The room burst into roars of laughter as Eric hurried around the table to help Duncan up. Sometimes that Fowl was just too much.
"Artemis!" Angelene Fowl called. Artemis looked at his door sharply. He was most definitely in trouble, his mother rarely called him Artemis." He hurried out of the room and rushed to the top of the stairs. His mother was at the bottom, and sure enough she looked angry.
"Yes Mother?"
"Don't 'yes Mother' me young man." She said sternly. "Your school just called and said something about you causing some sort of scene in the cafeteria today."
"I am sure the officials at the school are mistaken Mother. Nothing of much importance happened today. There was a small tiff between myself and one of my frie…er comrades. It was more of a miscommunication problem then a scene." Angelene sighed.
"Just don't let it happen again."
"Yes Mother." Angelene turned to walk away. This was as good as time as any. "Mother?" She stopped and turned back to look at her son.
"Yes Arty?"
"Well next week we are going to begin discussing the ancient civilization of the Romans."
"Oh yes, the Romans are fascinating."
"So I've heard. I was wondering if would be possible for the both of us to go to Rome this weekend so I could get a small sample of the Roman experience. You know, see the sights, the Coliseum perhaps?"
"Oh. Well I can't possibly go to Rome this weekend. Why don't you fly down with Butler."
"Oh. Well, I suppose…"
"What is it Arty?"
"It's just that I was hoping the two of us could go."
"Oh I'm so sorry dear. I promise I'll go to Rome with you some other time. This time you'll just have to go with Butler. I'm sorry. I do hope you're not too disappointed."
"Well I understand Mother."
"That's a good boy. Now go on and finish up your homework love."
"Yes Mother, of course." He turned and started back to his room. That had gone exactly as he thought it would. He did feel slightly bad for lying to his Mother, but he was sure she would understand if she knew what he was planning. Artemis looked up and standing in his doorway was Butler.
"That was very impressive Master Artemis. Are you sure you want to continue a life a crime when you're such a fantastic actor?"
"Very funny Butler." Artemis said sarcastically, but found himself smiling all the same.
"So where are we really going this weekend?"
"Well we're going to Italy at any rate. Just not exactly to Rome, and certainly not to the Coliseum." Artemis smiled slyly his dark eyes shining with glee.