Japs looked like one who has just seen something that would disturb and haunt him for life. But he could not help the way he looked, he was born that way. But now his face looked of one of fear, and he let out a short scream to show this. He did not notice that in unity the entire of the First Year students had done the same. If anything, this must had been expected, as no-one gave it a second thought apart from some sniggers from the ones who had counted it down perfectly on their watches.

Mrs. Tardid walked to the microphone. She glared down and around at the new students, and Japs felt like shouting something very inappropriate at the wicked woman.

'What more can a stupid librarian do?' He murmured.

'That's no librarian.' Hissed a second year from behind Japs. 'That's the headmistress.'

All of Japs' fears now seemed to hit him at once.

'Well then. Looks like I have to welcome some newbies to this school.' Mrs. Tardid mocked. 'One Hundred more nuances. Well then, to business, then you can all get out of my sight. You will soon receive a Dorm Key, a key with the number of your dorm. This key will be the only one you get, so don't loose it. The odd numbered dorms are male, the even numbered dorms for females, and no-one of one sex shall be in the other's dorm'

There were a few 'Aww's'. Japs gave a queer look to the people who made it.

'We have learned from your parents who your friends are... so we try and keep you out of rooms with them. HA!'

Japs did not feel really pressured by this... how many true friends did he have?

One by one the pupils were called up to the stage to receive their keys. Eventually Japs was called for.

'Japs Ga... Gehn... Gah...' Mrs. Tardid struggled. Japs growled to himself. He could hear Yoshi laughing his head off somewhere to his left.

'Japs Getankohan!' Said Mrs. Tardid. Japs could now hear Nekoni, Yoshi, Samus and Kirby in hideous laughter around him. He stood up, strided to the stage and as he climbed up the steps, he stumbled. The hall filled with laughter, and Japs went bright red. He stood up again and walked to the now cackling Ogre, Mrs. Tardid.

'My name is Japs Gento Kanto Kahn.' He said sternly.

'I was close enough.' Hissed Tardid. 'Now sittdown!'

Japs snatched his key and stormed off. As he walked back to his seat, another First Year jammed his leg out from beneath the table in-between Japs' legs, causing him to trip again. His key was flung out of his hand and skidded across the stone floor under the second year table. Japs foolishly then scrambled on all fours under this table, and for a long time Japs remained under, with only cries of pain from the ever-kicking feet of the second years to show his position.

When Japs eventually got out; bleeding, bruised and limping, he found that everyone was leaving. He whimpered as he realised he had been forgotten and looked at the green key ring on his key.

'Dorm thirteen, floor two.' He said to himself. 'OK, I can find that easily enough. I'll be there in five minuets!'

After what could have been over an hour, Japs had eventually found where floor two was. Coincidently, it was the second floor above the first year common room. When the students had witnessed someone running into the common room, panting and limping, tripping over his own feet with enough bruises that would scare a professional boxer, they became quite suspicious. It was when an idiotic voice shouted 'Hey! It's Japs!' the first years burst into laughter. Japs had now been missing for around one hour since he tripped on (and off) stage. He wandered upstairs, muttering that he had just about lost the will to live, when he saw, in crooked bronze, the number 13 on a battered door. Japs tried the key, and with a clink, opened it. The greeting he got was a friendly one.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?'

'Oh no, look who it is.'

'Hi Japs!'



Inside the room, Kirby was on a nice little hammock in the corner of the room. Link was sitting the top of a bunk bed and none other than Yoshi was on the bottom.

'Get out of here, Mellon breath!' Shouted Japs. 'It's three to a room, and this dorm aint big enough for the both of us.'

Link got out his Ocarina and played 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly', not mentioning who was the good (Kirby), the bad (Yoshi), or the ugly (Japs). Yoshi stood up and walked opposite Japs, who put his hands to his side. From outside, the School clock chimed three times. Kirby had been telling himself how corny the whole thing was, but he had seen a look from Japs' bloody face which made him wonder what he had planned and how much it was going to cost.

'DRAW!' Cried Link, who wasn't really paying attention anymore, but had seen a chest of draws that he had noticed before in their new room. But the two rivals did draw, though. Yoshi pulled out a Wild West-like Magnum (which, when fired, produced a small red flag quoting 'bang' in black letters), and Japs pulled from his pocket something that everyone recognised at once.

'KANAKA?' The Dorm inhabitants cried at once. And, in reply, Kanaka jumped at Yoshi and latched on his huge nose.

'AAIII!' Cried Yoshi.

'Ha!' Laughed Japs. 'I guess I won!'

'If you had let him finish,' Shouted Kirby, jumping down to help remove the mechanical arachnid from the dinosaurs snoz, 'he was going to make it a joke.'

'A joke?' asked Japs, confused.

'Yes.' Growled Yoshi. 'I was GOING to say: "What are you doing here? Oh, I remember, we're now roomies!" and apologise for my actions in the past.'

'And the Clint Eastwood thing?' Asked Japs.

'Hey, I played along. It isn't every day you get the opportunity to do that.' Said Yoshi, who had finally flung Kanaka off his nose into a waste paper basket.

'But...' Whined Japs. 'It's three to a room.'

'Where were you?' Asked Link, who had just finished looking in the draws he found, revealing a rotten plumb from last year. 'Mrs. Tardid told us in the assembly that Dorm Thirteen had to have four occupants because of the odd number of pupils this year.'

'I was under the Second Year table, getting the living daylights kicked out of me.'

And so the four talked of events that were going to happen today. Japs found his bag was on his new, nicely made bed with new covers and tidy appearance, and he soon made himself at home by throwing around his stuff and messing up his bed so it looked like a couple had just spent a night of passion in it. Japs looked at his 'masterpiece' afterwards with folded arms and nodded to himself. It turned out that the first years had the rest of the week to get to know the place, with their lesson timetables presented to them in four days.

Yoshi was impatient later that afternoon, and something was on his mind. After shooing Kanaka from resting on his head, he called for Link and Japs from the common room. The two had been looking for Ness, and had found him watching wrestling on TV. Kirby had been reading in the dorm, and had not stopped, which resulted with a few sharp pokes from Japs, followed by idiotic questions about the book.

'What's wrong?' Asked Link.

'I just had an Idea!' Said Yoshi in glee.

'Did you hurt yourself?' Commented Kirby, who did not look up from his book.

'Lets see who lives opposite us!' Continued Yoshi. 'After all.' He said, raising and lowering his giant eyelids rapidly, 'They are gurls!'

'So?' Asked Japs. Kirby, Link and Yoshi stared at him.

'Japs...' Said Yoshi, sitting down. 'Girls can be... well... fun!'

'What?' Asked Japs.

'You know... re-la-tion-ships!'

'O...K...' Said Japs uncomfortably.

'What's wrong with you?' Asked Kirby.

'I- uh... nothing.'

'You have had a girlfriend before, haven't you Japs?' Asked Yoshi.

Japs put an end to the conversation by screaming and running down to the Common room.

'You think he's upset?' Asked Link.

'Who knows...' Muttered Yoshi, scratching his head. 'Who knows...'