I'm back….with a vengeance! No, not really. But I am back at least. I finished my Japanese in like ten minutes soooo, here I am! Ready to go….eat something….hmm…do I have food in here? No…it seems I've eaten it all. Damn. Okay, well, I'll just write and that'll make me forget. Oh, yeah, this is the last chapter, so you should...um…savor every tasty morsel?
*****
Love To Hate You
Part 10
*****
In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to at night
You
give me something to sleep to
And all I know is
You give me something to dream to
When
I'm all alone and blue
Don't leave me now
-Michelle Branch Something to Sleep to
"Kagura-nee-san?" Sanka rushed over to the leader's mate, Kagura. She was granted a high position because of Kouga's relationship to her, and so the other wolves had accepted her immediately as one of them. Sanka remembered her vaguely as being an old enemy of the tribe, but if Kouga was her mate, he had no questions to ask about it. "Are you feeling okay? Maybe you should lay down?"
"Oi, don't touch her." Kouga was there in an instant, his arms going around his mate's waist. She rolled her eyes at the turmoil she could cause by only stumbling over a rock in her path. "Kagura, are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm just fine, Kouga." Kagura answered. "I only tripped. Probably because I can't see anything around this stupid…" she indicated her heavily pregnant stomach.
"Anytime now, huh?" Kouga asked, his mouth going up in an almost dopily enthusiastic grin that the other wolves dare not tease him about. At that moment, Kouga seemed to notice the other wolves, and he flushed slightly at his behavior before growling slightly, causing them to disperse in such a way that Kagura and Kouga were conveniently alone. Yes, being the mate to the leader of this tribe had its advantages.
"I think I'm close, yes." She smiled softly up at him, resting one hand on her stomach. "Mikan said it could be any day now." She referred to one of the other seldom seen women of the wolf tribe. Of all the women, Kagura was the only one allowed out of the inner caves most of the time. The others had protected regions they were allowed to be in, but they never got to stay in the men's caves. They only saw their mates when the men came to visit them. When Kagura learned of this custom, she'd been very upset that she couldn't actually live with Kouga, until he said that since he was the leader, he made his own rules. She could tell the men were still nervous about her presence in their caves, but that was nothing to how they reacted when Kouga, refusing to go to the women's caves, had sent for the midwife, Mikan, to come into the men's caves as well to check on Kagura regularly. All of them had gaped as one of the other men, a shy, low level wolf named Hitotsu, came out of the women's caves with the unruffled looking midwife at his side. Mikan had not seemed to notice the looks she was receiving. And though Kagura had worried that Mikan might be scared to come, she knew that Kouga was right when he said that, in her advanced condition, she shouldn't be traversing the rocky, narrow passage that connected the two sets of caves. It was quite something to watch the midwife that first time that she came for Kagura, though. She seemed to be very calm, as though she went into the men's caves every day. Later, when Kagura had asked Kouga why they had separate caves at all, he explained rather crudely that it was to keep adolescent males going into heat for the first time without a mate away from their female relatives.
"You should have seen what it was like before. Sisters getting raped, mothers waking up to their own sons trying to climb all over them. Disgusting." Kouga had told her distastefully. "Wolves…when they go into heat, they get very desperate as it progresses. It's always worst the first time, since they don't know what's going on, really. They just feel like they wanna rut with every female they can find. This way we can keep the young men away from the little girls that don't know to run away when they have that look in their eyes."
That had made Kagura a little nervous until Kouga assured her that she'd be able to smell when someone was in heat, explaining that it wouldn't be much of an issue until spring came again. Apparently, that was when most males were "in season," or so Kouga told her. He'd seemed to think the whole business was very much below him, and thinking of it now, Kagura wondered something aloud.
"Ne, Kouga, have you…do you go into heat…like the others?" Kagura wanted to know. The way he talked about it, it seemed as though he was somehow above those "disgusting" males who couldn't help their urges.
"What?!" Kouga's blue eyes bugged out in shock at her question. "Woman, why would you ask me that?"
"Well, you make it sound like it's not your problem." She explained, feeling a bit silly for asking now.
"Of course I have! Dammit, asking a man that…makes me feel like you wonder…if I can even…" Kouga couldn't say the words, but Kagura caught his meaning.
"I'd already know, wouldn't I?" she patted her stomach in reminder. Her face faded from the slow smile it had been in. "I just…wanted to know if you ever…did things with other women. Because…you know…of that."
"Feh! Of course not!" Kouga sounded just as offended as before, but he was quickly forgiving, as Kagura didn't know the ways of wolf youkai, or of most any youkai, for that matter. "Wolves are…I hate admitting it, but wolf youkai and dog youkai are pretty closely related. Dog youkai…when they mate, it's for life, see?" he explained to her, making sure she understood. "Now, we're not that uptight about it, but the leaders of the pack always have to find one strong woman and stay with her for life. There's no double mates or any of that shit when you're in my position. And see…you know how I was prince of the tribe? That title says that even though I'm leader, I've got no life-mate yet. Some leaders have died princes, cause you have to be really careful when you pick your mate. My mother and father…they were both from the lead families of two different packs. It isn't required that mates come from high families, just that they're strong women you want to spend your life with. My mother and father…that was sort of a coincidence. Maybe I'll tell you the story sometime. It used to be…kind of a legend, how they met. They were good parents to me, better than most. My father, he refused to let mother sleep in the women's caves when the split first happened. I think…maybe he'd like to meet you."
"You've never talked about your parents before." Kagura told him, happy to hear about them. "Except that time…when we first slept together." She smiled warmly up at her mate. "You have to promise me that you'll tell me all your stories, all your secrets."
"We have time." Kouga told her, smiling back. "The rest of our lives." He leaned down to kiss her forehead softly just as a young male accidentally walked in on them, yipped in shock and froze at their inquisitive looks.
"Su—sumimasen, Kouga, Kagura-nee-san. I didn't know…" the young man named Mikka cast nervous glances between the two.
"Move along then." Kouga urged him, suppressing an amused grin as he turned back to his mate. "I can't believe it still."
"What?" she asked.
"All of them. I tell them you're my mate. I explain that you were an old enemy to get it all out in the open, but they don't ask a damn question about how I mated an enemy. And now…like you're their sister. They may be my people, but that doesn't mean I understand a damn thing about them."
"Would you rather that they tried to hurt me?" Kagura asked teasingly. "So then you could protect me and show me how strong and wonderful you are?"
"That's not…what I meant." Kouga looked a bit confused by this accusation.
"Don't worry, love." She smiled at him reassuringly. "I already know you're the best." She told him, standing up on tiptoes for a kiss. But the kiss never came. She stopped halfway, her eyes bulging in surprise as an odd scent reached Kouga.
"Kagura? Mate? Are you alright?" his arms went tight around her, ready to carry her back to their furs despite any protest she might offer. "You look…something's wrong."
"I'm fine…" she managed to get over her shock as she realized what was happening. "We need to get back to your private den. And…Mikan, send for her."
"Kagura, what's wrong?" he asked, but he was already guiding her back to his private den aside from the main caves.
"The child…it's coming." She explained, looking a bit worried about how well she'd be able to handle this process so foreign to her.
"Right—right now?" Kouga yelped a bit shakily, hurrying her along. The other wolves noticed their strange behavior and began to whisper amongst themselves. Kouga snarled at their stupid behavior. "Oi, you, Yokka!" he called out to a nearby wolf. "Go get the birthing woman."
"M—Mikan?" the wolf ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "Right now?"
"Yes, right now!" Kouga snapped at him. "Go!"
"Kouga!" Sanka ran up to the irritated leader as they reached the entrance to his private den. "Is it time? For Kagura-nee-san?" he asked.
"Of course!" Kouga snarled. "Don't ask stupid questions. Make sure everyone stays away from here or I'll kick their ass." Kouga ordered. Sanka's eyes went wide before he ran off to tell the others. Kouga turned his attention back to his mate, taking her inside the den and laying her carefully on their furs so that she might be comfortable.
"I'm okay, don't fuss over me." Kagura smiled up at Kouga as he pulled the furs up around her gently.
"You're my mate." He told her, brushing her hair back with one hand. "I'm supposed to take care of you. And I just want to remember how you look right now."
"Why?" she asked, confused.
"When Mikan comes, I have to leave." Kouga explained just as said midwife arrived.
"That's right, Kouga, now get out of here." The elderly woman told him, her face all business.
"I have to go now." Kouga told her.
"But why?" Kagura's brow furrowed.
"In the wolf tribe…there's a great amount of power associated with birth. It's supposedly not safe for men to be nearby when it takes place." Kouga explained, but it was obvious from the look on his face what he thought of this tradition. "Don't worry, I'll be back as soon as it's ended."
"Now get going." Mikan urged impatiently. She was one of the few wolves not intimidated by Kouga, but then, she had helped his mother birth him, so it wasn't surprising.
"I'll see you after." Kagura pulled him in for a kiss before he was practically thrown out of the den by an impatient midwife.
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"I can't take this anymore." Kouga growled as he stood up, dropping the remains of his dinner carelessly to the side. Sanka, who had decided to try and watch Kouga while Kagura was birthing, looked up at him in surprise. "There's no way this is normal. She's been in there most of the day."
"What do you mean?" Sanka asked. None of the men were allowed to be present for birthing, so none of them were quite sure how long it was supposed to take.
"I'm the leader, dammit." He snarled, heading toward his den with Sanka following along curiously. "If I want to see my mate when she's birthing, no one can stop me."
"But…but Kouga…" Sanka protested. "It's dangerous! I heard that if you go in…if you go in on a birthing, that you aren't…a man anymore." Sanka's eyes widened to emphasize how the prospect terrified him.
"That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard." Kouga stopped about ten feet from his den. "I'm going in, and you can't stop me with any of your stupid little superstitions."
"I'm not going in!" Sanka protested in a yelp.
"Feh! Like I'd want you in there!" Kouga snorted, giving the quiet entrance to his den a wary glance. Just then, a shrill scream pierced the air, causing both men to straighten up and stare at each other, their eyes full of worried confusion. "That's it!" Kouga took this as a sign that Kagura must need him desperately, and thinking this, he lunged forward to burst into the hut, only to be cut off by an extremely irritated looking Mikan.
"No, Kouga. It's not time yet. You can't come in. I'm quite busy, go play with your friend and let me attend to your mate." Mikan told him in a very authoritative tone.
"Fuck that! I'm going in there! I heard her—" Kouga began, but another scream cut him off. "See? She needs me!"
"She needs me right now, you idiot man. The only thing you'll do if you go in there is get in the way." Mikan slapped him upside the head, turned and reentered the den, leaving Sanka and Kouga to stare at each other in disbelief.
"I thought…wow…she's scary." Sanka finally spoke up. Kouga didn't say anything, but grunted slightly.
"I…I think I'll wait till she's done." He did his best to make it sound as though he'd really had the choice.
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"Kouga, you great lump." Mikan nudged the sleeping youkai with her foot and rolled her eyes. "Get up! Unless you don't want to see your son."
"Son? Huh? Where's Kagura? Where's the baby? Is it over?" Kouga leapt up suddenly from where he'd been sleeping in his niche in the main caves. "What's going on?"
"Come on, idiot boy." Mikan beckoned for Kouga to follow her, and he did so, only grumbling slightly at the lack of respect shown to him by the woman. After all, she was the tribe's midwife, and everyone could understand why it was hard for her to show fear and respect to wolves she'd delivered herself. It was Mikan, and that's the way she'd always been. She turned and smiled at him before opening the flap of hide that covered the opening to his private den. Kouga was so impatient, he was practically hopping from foot to foot as he waited to enter his den. But he had to admit, the sight that greeted him was well worth the wait.
"Hello, love." Kagura smiled wearily at him from where she was nestled in their furs, a tiny bundle of cloth nestled in her arms. From across the den, Yachou squawked a greeting as well. Kouga almost cursed at the crow that had been allowed to stay through the birth even though he'd been forced to leave. But the sight of his mate and his first child resting in his furs, waiting for him…it was too much for Kouga, and he couldn't make himself curse at the bird as he usually did.
"Mate," Kouga crawled next to her, climbing into the furs beside her and leaning over to get a better view of the child she held. Mikan, knowing her work was done, exited discreetly to return to the women's caves.
"Yuki, dearest," Kagura cooed at the small bundle, "look, it's your daddy!"
"Yuki." Kouga blushed slightly, at the fact that their child was named "snow."
"Is…is it a good name?" she asked.
"It's perfect." Kouga assured her. "Let me see him, then."
"Here, you can hold him." Kagura handed the bundle over to her mate, who handled it delicately, pulling the blanket away from the child's face to get a better look at the drowsy infant. Kagura watched as Kouga examined his son's face, seizing him up carefully as the child blinked lazily up at him.
"Red eyes…just like you." Kouga seemed very pleased at this discovery.
"Yes, but look at his face, love." Kagura's finger traced the lines of the child's pudgy face. "I told Mikan that I thought he looked a bit like you, though it's hard to tell since I never saw you as a baby. She said that he looks almost exactly like you. The perfect mix of both of us."
"Perfect…yeah." Kouga smiled down at his son, who yawned and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. "Kagura, do you see what we've done. We made this." He indicated the sleeping Yuki. She smiled and nodded, her fingers brushing lightly over thin wisps of black hair on the baby's head.
"I love you, Kouga." She told him. "I want for it to always be like this. The three of us, a family. I know…I won't ever be alone now."
"No, you never will, mate." Kouga kissed her softly. "And whenever you feel lonely, we can just have another one."
"Oh that's right, twenty, was it?" Kagura pursed her lips in mock irritation. "You know what I went through just now? I hate you."
"About as much as I hate you." He teased her. "And I love it."
"You love to hate me?" she asked, laughing at how silly that sounded.
"No, not anymore. Now I just love you." He told her, kissing his mate once more before falling asleep with her and Yuki. His family, his love, his whole world.
*****
THE END!!!!
God, there were times I thought I'd NEVER finish! But I did it! Now, for those of you who weren't aware, this was a companion piece to another story of mine, To Finally Let Go, where I introduced Kouga/Kagura and Yuki in the last chapter with basically no explanation, because I mean, this was the BEST way to explain it. Now my next work will be Fate's Reversal, a sequel to both of these stories, which centers around Yuki, Tsuyo and Sekatsu (Miroku and Sango's twin boys) and Haruka (Inuyasha and Kagome's daughter). Now, in case you're thinking, "Original characters? Screw that!" I'd just like you to know that it isn't all about them, and…oh, the plot is super duper! I'm so pumped! Oh, and it will elucidate that whole thing with the hand and the stars, as well as the story of Kouga's parents! Hope you liked this one, and hope to see you reading Fate's Reversal. Ja ne!