~*~
Title: Beyond Your Smiles Are Tears
Author: chescaOtaku
Status: ongoing
Genre: non-yaoi; general
Rating: G
Part: 2/3
============================================================================ ==================================================
1 Beyond Your Smiles Are Tears
Chapter 2: Observations and Thoughts
~*~
I wondered what was the time… maybe it was past ten in the evening or so. Still, a deep slumber seemed so far away from me. The question that popped out of my mind kept me awake. You never ceased to make me ponder, Nuriko- san.
I can still recall the time when I first looked at your face… the mask you wore that you were a woman, a contented and jovial one who did nothing but flirt with Hotohori-sama, deceived… and intrigued me.
Out of the six seishis, you intrigued me the most.
Tamahome-san has a deep wound inside him when I observed him. Yet, I knew he tried his best to heal it by protecting and loving more Miaka-san. It was as if she was the only important person left in his life. I knew that the massacre of his family not so long ago made him do it. Still, his courage and love seemed to heal the wound little by little.
Hotohori-san has also loneliness, but there was more yearning when I saw him. His actions told so. It was like he yearned for affection, yearned for love… and to be loved by someone. No wonder he acted differently and treated the miko with utter care… and love. Someday, I can feel it, he would get what he yearned.
Chichiri-san was once, for me, the most enigmatic of us all, until last night, when he finally told me why he wore that happy mask. Maybe he sensed my curiosity about it.
Now I know how hard it was for him to pretend to be happy all those years when he was deeply hurting inside. I saw his scar and I knew that it would always be a reminder of his bitter past. Yet, I sensed that his strength and presence of mind would turn it to a fateful past that helped him to be a better person.
Hmm. Tasuki-san. Words aren't enough to describe his moodiness. One minute he hated women, then the next, he would do anything to keep our miko safe. His obnoxiousness and loudness maybe an irony of what he really felt. Well, what do you expect from bandits? Hot-tempered as they may be, but that hotness can melt any stoned heart, ne?
Our doctor, Mitsukake-san, was quite an observant too. Quiet as he was, but I knew, like all of us, was hiding something too. I just can't figure it out yet for adults were hard to comprehend with. But, when I looked into his eyes once, I saw grief. And maybe that grief was enough to explain his actions. Maybe his healing was one way to erase it.
Then you, Nuriko-san. You were like a maze that needed a great deal of thinking and strategy to get out. You wore a mask more inscrutable than that of Chichiri-san.
So I started to observe you more… know you little by little.
Most of us saw how your aura illuminated your whole body whenever you were excited or made fuss about something, but we knew, and I am certainly aware that beneath that glittering aura, beneath those smiles and cheerfulness you displayed, laid loneliness you possessed and unwept tears you shed. I tried to examine and decipher the ambiguity you beheld. Why did you voice sounded so feminine and you body was built like that of a woman, yet you're a man, a Suzaku Sichiseishi? Though I am nothing to you but a plain comrade and child, I tried my best to fit in and understand your /world/, a world full of labyrinth and blurred images of your hidden past.
And so I searched deeper and found a certain element evident in your crystalline lavender eyes that made up most of your identity –
/Loneliness/… a feeling… that I knew, somehow, we /both/ share.
And beside that loneliness were sparkles of the tears you shed, whenever you were alone, and whenever you shadow covered you face. Don't worry; don't be afraid, for you were not the only one who was like that.
I was—no, /am/, too.
But I guess yours was far deeper, painful than that I feel. I was able to see betrayal, pain, loss of hope and solitude that resulted to your silent crying and shedding of tears when you thought no one noticed you. You covered it all up by some /genuine/ and /sexy/ smile, as you put it. However, that smile didn't seem to fit your eye expression.
Remember, smiles may deceive you, eyes may mislead you—but they never lie.
"Heh…" you may reply.
Doshite? For I am nothing but a child in you eyes, Nuriko-san. I have always thought about things more than a child and went beyond what one displayed and went into what he possessed.
Well, maybe my observations and thoughts were not as accurate as what you really hide from us… but that's what I saw in you, even if I had known all of you, especially you, for only a very short span of time. That was why I really wanted to ask you that certain question. But, knowing you, I guess I wouldn't get a straight answer, ne? Perhaps, no matter how hard I tried to deliberate and contemplate about the real you, vagueness would still be present. And I wouldn't get in.
For it would be beyond my realm.
~*end, chapter 2*~
~tbc~
a/n: whew… there it is… quite challenging, huh? ^_^ but I'm glad I was able to finish it quickly. Last chapter, coming up!! (quite long for a POV fic, ne?) r&r!!
Title: Beyond Your Smiles Are Tears
Author: chescaOtaku
Status: ongoing
Genre: non-yaoi; general
Rating: G
Part: 2/3
============================================================================ ==================================================
1 Beyond Your Smiles Are Tears
Chapter 2: Observations and Thoughts
~*~
I wondered what was the time… maybe it was past ten in the evening or so. Still, a deep slumber seemed so far away from me. The question that popped out of my mind kept me awake. You never ceased to make me ponder, Nuriko- san.
I can still recall the time when I first looked at your face… the mask you wore that you were a woman, a contented and jovial one who did nothing but flirt with Hotohori-sama, deceived… and intrigued me.
Out of the six seishis, you intrigued me the most.
Tamahome-san has a deep wound inside him when I observed him. Yet, I knew he tried his best to heal it by protecting and loving more Miaka-san. It was as if she was the only important person left in his life. I knew that the massacre of his family not so long ago made him do it. Still, his courage and love seemed to heal the wound little by little.
Hotohori-san has also loneliness, but there was more yearning when I saw him. His actions told so. It was like he yearned for affection, yearned for love… and to be loved by someone. No wonder he acted differently and treated the miko with utter care… and love. Someday, I can feel it, he would get what he yearned.
Chichiri-san was once, for me, the most enigmatic of us all, until last night, when he finally told me why he wore that happy mask. Maybe he sensed my curiosity about it.
Now I know how hard it was for him to pretend to be happy all those years when he was deeply hurting inside. I saw his scar and I knew that it would always be a reminder of his bitter past. Yet, I sensed that his strength and presence of mind would turn it to a fateful past that helped him to be a better person.
Hmm. Tasuki-san. Words aren't enough to describe his moodiness. One minute he hated women, then the next, he would do anything to keep our miko safe. His obnoxiousness and loudness maybe an irony of what he really felt. Well, what do you expect from bandits? Hot-tempered as they may be, but that hotness can melt any stoned heart, ne?
Our doctor, Mitsukake-san, was quite an observant too. Quiet as he was, but I knew, like all of us, was hiding something too. I just can't figure it out yet for adults were hard to comprehend with. But, when I looked into his eyes once, I saw grief. And maybe that grief was enough to explain his actions. Maybe his healing was one way to erase it.
Then you, Nuriko-san. You were like a maze that needed a great deal of thinking and strategy to get out. You wore a mask more inscrutable than that of Chichiri-san.
So I started to observe you more… know you little by little.
Most of us saw how your aura illuminated your whole body whenever you were excited or made fuss about something, but we knew, and I am certainly aware that beneath that glittering aura, beneath those smiles and cheerfulness you displayed, laid loneliness you possessed and unwept tears you shed. I tried to examine and decipher the ambiguity you beheld. Why did you voice sounded so feminine and you body was built like that of a woman, yet you're a man, a Suzaku Sichiseishi? Though I am nothing to you but a plain comrade and child, I tried my best to fit in and understand your /world/, a world full of labyrinth and blurred images of your hidden past.
And so I searched deeper and found a certain element evident in your crystalline lavender eyes that made up most of your identity –
/Loneliness/… a feeling… that I knew, somehow, we /both/ share.
And beside that loneliness were sparkles of the tears you shed, whenever you were alone, and whenever you shadow covered you face. Don't worry; don't be afraid, for you were not the only one who was like that.
I was—no, /am/, too.
But I guess yours was far deeper, painful than that I feel. I was able to see betrayal, pain, loss of hope and solitude that resulted to your silent crying and shedding of tears when you thought no one noticed you. You covered it all up by some /genuine/ and /sexy/ smile, as you put it. However, that smile didn't seem to fit your eye expression.
Remember, smiles may deceive you, eyes may mislead you—but they never lie.
"Heh…" you may reply.
Doshite? For I am nothing but a child in you eyes, Nuriko-san. I have always thought about things more than a child and went beyond what one displayed and went into what he possessed.
Well, maybe my observations and thoughts were not as accurate as what you really hide from us… but that's what I saw in you, even if I had known all of you, especially you, for only a very short span of time. That was why I really wanted to ask you that certain question. But, knowing you, I guess I wouldn't get a straight answer, ne? Perhaps, no matter how hard I tried to deliberate and contemplate about the real you, vagueness would still be present. And I wouldn't get in.
For it would be beyond my realm.
~*end, chapter 2*~
~tbc~
a/n: whew… there it is… quite challenging, huh? ^_^ but I'm glad I was able to finish it quickly. Last chapter, coming up!! (quite long for a POV fic, ne?) r&r!!