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Separation - Part Eleven
By: Marie Allen
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Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oi, minna! Wow...it's been such a long time since I've updated this story, but hey! Here's the next chapter! For all of those you have previously read it from the year + ago, and are still here, I thank you so much! I'm sure that you have forgotten much of this ((you wouldn't be the only one... ^_^;;)) so...thanks! ^_^ For new readers, thank you too! I hope you like it! ^_^
Key:
"..." Dialogue
'...' Inner thoughts
*...* Conscience
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"Jessie, I didn't...I mean I..." James stuttered.
"You what, James?" He didn't know what to say, or do, for that matter. He desperately wanted to, well, something. But it was the 'something' that kept him from doing anything. She snorted when he didn't say anything. "Do you deny it?"
He slumped his shoulders in defeat. Out was his secret, and in was the trouble. Jessie looked upon him with hope that he would deny it and that he would tell her that Jack was a phony and not of what he spoke. That he was some crazy man who sought out to ruin peoples lives.
When he didn't answer, she straightened her back. Sticking her chin up and clenching her fists at her sides, tears began to bite at the back of her eyes. Her voice was low and menacing, giving James a chill that ran down his back. "So it's true then. Everything has been a lie... My whole life was a damn lie." She looked down slightly; her perfectly shaped eyebrows frowning in pain and wrinkled her forehead. When she looked up her eyes spoke more than a thousand words. "Why, James? Why didn't you ever tell me...?" Her voice trembled as much as her bottom lip. Her eyes were glassy and the beginnings of puffy. Her eyebrows still frowned at him and her face seemed to have always been fallen.
He was silent as he looked at her. He didn't know the answer himself. But even in his thoughts that sounded ridiculous. He had no right to keep the secret from her. He knew that she had always been unconsciously looking for the truth of her unknown past, and he selfishly kept it to himself. After a long moment he finally answered meekly in a mumble. "I thought I was trying to protect you..."
She looked at him as if another head had sprouted from his shoulders. "Well you thought wrong, didn't you?" Tears finally began to slip passed their barrier unknowingly to her as she once again began to speak, breathing enticingly.
She started out slowly, in her still low voice. "Do you know what it's like to loose a part of you? Do you know what it's like to have half of you ripped out? Do you know what it's liked to be broken, yet still alive? Do you?" She snickered. "I didn't think so. You don't know what it's like to loose someone who meant the world to you, find them again, only to loose them after finally 'knowing' them. You don't know how if feels to have your heart ripped from you, stabbed, burned, tossed about, and then thrown back at you like some worthless garbage." Her voice cracked momentarily and she desperately tried to swallow the large knot that had begun to grow earlier. "You haven't been forced to watch the only person you ever cared about suffer a long agonizing death, when the only thing you wanted to do was reach out and take away their pain. You didn't have to hold them while they cried because they found out too late, or tell them that everything was going to be all right when you knew that that was a lie. You didn't have to watch all the memories you shared with them replay before you eyes while you yearned to go back in time to savor every precious moment you shared with them."
The tears fell freely from her swollen eyes with no control. The pain was so great she stopped for a moment to restrict the contractions within. "Because you took it for granted that they would always be there for you and to buy you clothes or to take you out to dinner or take you to see the latest movie. You didn't realize that the days were slipping away in your hands like water and that you were some type of sewage swallowing it up. You weren't not there to hold their hand when they shuddered their last breath of life, and you weren't not the last thing they saw when the left me all alone..." She forced the last part as a sob wracked through her. Spinning on her heel, she ran out the hotel room and didn't look back. She doubted she ever would.
He reached out for her when she ran off, but his hand only clasped onto air. His heart ran with her, but his feet didn't even twitch. With each word that she spoke, it was a slap to his face. When she was gone, he could only stare through the still open door. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have done this to her? To them? He realized now that he was no better than anyone who had ever hurt her...
He sat on the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands. And now he had lost her. He had lost her respect and any chance of forgiveness. Hell, if he were her, he wouldn't forgive himself either. *Great going buddy. Now you'll never get her.*
"Never..." he repeated aloud. Then his tears came.
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To be continued...
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Separation - Part Eleven
By: Marie Allen
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oi, minna! Wow...it's been such a long time since I've updated this story, but hey! Here's the next chapter! For all of those you have previously read it from the year + ago, and are still here, I thank you so much! I'm sure that you have forgotten much of this ((you wouldn't be the only one... ^_^;;)) so...thanks! ^_^ For new readers, thank you too! I hope you like it! ^_^
Key:
"..." Dialogue
'...' Inner thoughts
*...* Conscience
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Jessie, I didn't...I mean I..." James stuttered.
"You what, James?" He didn't know what to say, or do, for that matter. He desperately wanted to, well, something. But it was the 'something' that kept him from doing anything. She snorted when he didn't say anything. "Do you deny it?"
He slumped his shoulders in defeat. Out was his secret, and in was the trouble. Jessie looked upon him with hope that he would deny it and that he would tell her that Jack was a phony and not of what he spoke. That he was some crazy man who sought out to ruin peoples lives.
When he didn't answer, she straightened her back. Sticking her chin up and clenching her fists at her sides, tears began to bite at the back of her eyes. Her voice was low and menacing, giving James a chill that ran down his back. "So it's true then. Everything has been a lie... My whole life was a damn lie." She looked down slightly; her perfectly shaped eyebrows frowning in pain and wrinkled her forehead. When she looked up her eyes spoke more than a thousand words. "Why, James? Why didn't you ever tell me...?" Her voice trembled as much as her bottom lip. Her eyes were glassy and the beginnings of puffy. Her eyebrows still frowned at him and her face seemed to have always been fallen.
He was silent as he looked at her. He didn't know the answer himself. But even in his thoughts that sounded ridiculous. He had no right to keep the secret from her. He knew that she had always been unconsciously looking for the truth of her unknown past, and he selfishly kept it to himself. After a long moment he finally answered meekly in a mumble. "I thought I was trying to protect you..."
She looked at him as if another head had sprouted from his shoulders. "Well you thought wrong, didn't you?" Tears finally began to slip passed their barrier unknowingly to her as she once again began to speak, breathing enticingly.
She started out slowly, in her still low voice. "Do you know what it's like to loose a part of you? Do you know what it's like to have half of you ripped out? Do you know what it's liked to be broken, yet still alive? Do you?" She snickered. "I didn't think so. You don't know what it's like to loose someone who meant the world to you, find them again, only to loose them after finally 'knowing' them. You don't know how if feels to have your heart ripped from you, stabbed, burned, tossed about, and then thrown back at you like some worthless garbage." Her voice cracked momentarily and she desperately tried to swallow the large knot that had begun to grow earlier. "You haven't been forced to watch the only person you ever cared about suffer a long agonizing death, when the only thing you wanted to do was reach out and take away their pain. You didn't have to hold them while they cried because they found out too late, or tell them that everything was going to be all right when you knew that that was a lie. You didn't have to watch all the memories you shared with them replay before you eyes while you yearned to go back in time to savor every precious moment you shared with them."
The tears fell freely from her swollen eyes with no control. The pain was so great she stopped for a moment to restrict the contractions within. "Because you took it for granted that they would always be there for you and to buy you clothes or to take you out to dinner or take you to see the latest movie. You didn't realize that the days were slipping away in your hands like water and that you were some type of sewage swallowing it up. You weren't not there to hold their hand when they shuddered their last breath of life, and you weren't not the last thing they saw when the left me all alone..." She forced the last part as a sob wracked through her. Spinning on her heel, she ran out the hotel room and didn't look back. She doubted she ever would.
He reached out for her when she ran off, but his hand only clasped onto air. His heart ran with her, but his feet didn't even twitch. With each word that she spoke, it was a slap to his face. When she was gone, he could only stare through the still open door. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have done this to her? To them? He realized now that he was no better than anyone who had ever hurt her...
He sat on the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands. And now he had lost her. He had lost her respect and any chance of forgiveness. Hell, if he were her, he wouldn't forgive himself either. *Great going buddy. Now you'll never get her.*
"Never..." he repeated aloud. Then his tears came.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
To be continued...
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