The Way of the Squib
a Harry Potter fan-fic
by Ozma
a sequel to "Squib Wizard"
Chapter 4: A Fate Worse Than Kittens
Mounted on their brooms, Harry Potter and Colin Creevey went soaring up towards the distant
entrance hall ceiling. The young wizards had a mission; they were attempting to track down and Stun the
band of yowling, amorous tomcats currently pursuing my poor Mrs. Norris through the corridors of
Hogwarts Castle.
If my sweet cat hadn't been in heat, she wouldn't have given any of those uncouth feline ruffians
the time of day! Unfortunately, she was a complete slave to her biological urges at the moment. Some of
the heart-rending, lovesick cries belonged to her, too.
I stood in the entrance hall, far below the boys, unable to believe what I had just done.
I'd really given Potter and Creevey my permission to fly their brooms. Through the Castle
corridors. At night!
"Against the Rules" did not even *begin* to convey the enormity of my crime!
Peeves was hovering in the air over my head. From the look of him, he was also having trouble
believing what I'd done. The poltergeist's eyes were as wide and huge as a house-elf's.
Some of this was his fault too! He'd kept letting Mrs. Norris out of our rooms, finally driving me
to take drastic measures to ensure her continued chastity!
Peeves and I saw the boys pause at top of the stairs leading to the fifth floor. They hovered for a
moment. Then, with Potter leading, they flew through the door, and out of our sight.
Peeves found his voice. "Shall I start handing out detentions, then?" The poltergeist asked me,
indignantly. "Shall I start punishing students? Filling out forms? Get myself an office?"
"What are you going on about, Peeves?" I muttered.
"If you're going to start making mischief, then what am I supposed to do?!" Peeves fumed.
"I'm not making mischief! I'm trying to prevent it!" I snarled.
The sound of yowling cats increased in volume. Potter and Creevey had apparently herded the
band of felines back towards the main staircase. With a raucous cacophony of bouncing echoes, the cats
surged down the stairs, like a furry, multicolored waterfall.
Whooping and yelling and generally making as much noise as the cats (even though there were
only two of them) Potter and Creevey both went into heart-stoppingly steep dives.
"If you're `preventing mischief,' what's all this, then?" Peeves yelled, over the noise.
"Shut UP!" I said, trying to catch sight of Mrs. Norris among the other cats.
There she was, visible in the midst of her troop of admirers. I did a rapid count, estimating their
number at around twenty cats, at least!
"Good shot, Colin!" Potter shouted, as Creevey dropped a large, white tom.
"That makes six for me, Harry!" Creevey exulted shrilly. "I've nearly caught up to you!"
"Not quite..." Potter called back, "I've gotten eleven now!"
"Er... I guess that's twelve for you, then," Creevey said, as Potter quickly Stunned a rusty-red
tom.
"Stop making so much noise!" I bellowed up at them, through cupped hands. "Between you and
the cats, you'll wake up the whole damn Castle!"
My own shout echoed off the vast, high ceiling.
I cringed, putting my hands over my mouth.
"Sorry!" they shouted down to me in unison; Potter's voice, husky and deepening, and Creevey's,
still very young and shrill. Even more echoes filled the entrance hall.
The cats, with Mrs. Norris leading, swept through the door leading to the third floor.
Potter and Creevey raced after them. The two toms that they'd just Stunned were left behind,
resting quietly on the stairs.
Peeves started to cackle wickedly his mood brightening.
"Oh, what fun this is!" he cried. "Maybe I should tell the Headmaster... it would be for your own
good, really. Then again, maybe I shan't. His Headship might have Snape beat you bloody this time, and
you're bloody enough already."
"Poor Filch," he added, with gleeful false sympathy. "So many bites and scratches! What's the
matter? Didn't Mrs. Norris and her friends *like* having their fun interrupted?"
Overcome with laughter, the poltergeist flew up towards the third floor, following the boys and
the cats.
*******
The boys, the cats and the Poltergeist were all moving very fast. But I was able to keep close
behind them, thanks to my Doors.
Everywhere I looked I seemed to see another Stunned tomcat.
Good! Each one down meant another ruffian who would not be able to pursue my sweet girl!
Unfortunately, Hogwarts Castle seemed to have an endless supply of male cats! For every cat Stunned,
another one seemed to join the chase.
Grimly, I thought about what Creevey had told me about the Muggles called "vets." Did these
Muggles also practice their barbarism on the males of the species? Most likely they did. And it was easy to
guess what a vet must cut off, to "fix" a male. As much as the thought made me wince in sympathy, I
almost wished that Creevey could fetch a vet for me, and set the Muggle loose on the Castle's toms.
I was in the Library corridor. The mob of cats must have changed direction because they were
running towards me now. Ah, I'd been hoping for such a chance! When Mrs. Norris came into view I
sprang towards her.
Making a lucky catch, I grabbed her away from the circle of her admirers!
My sweet cat promptly became a bundle of claws and teeth in my arms.
Yelling in pain, I was forced to let her go.
And then I had to throw myself flat on the floor as Potter and Creevey came speeding down the
corridor, straight at me. The boys were flying extremely low, less than three feet above the floor.
I could hear Peeves' obnoxious cackles of delight.
"It helps a bit if you try to think of them as Bludgers, with claws and teeth!" Potter was yelling.
"This gives me a whole new respect for Fred and George!" Creevey yelled back.
"Don't play Quidditch with them... STUN them!" I snarled, just as a terrible wave of cold swept
over me from behind.
"What... is... the MEANING of this?" demanded a rather dry, dusty voice. "Explain yourselves,
all of you!"
Potter and Creevey both performed flawless hairpin turns, and came back down the corridor to
hover in front of the furious Professor.
Peeves seemed to have disappeared.
"Er... hello, Professor Binns," Potter said, breathlessly. "We're just trying to help Mr. Filch
rescue his cat!"
"On your brooms?" Binns said, getting even paler and more transparent than usual. I couldn't
tell if it was from shock, or anger.
"But Mr. Filch *said* we could!" Creevey piped up.
"Is this true?" Hogwarts' only ghost-Professor asked me, sternly.
"Yes, sir..." I said, picking myself up off the floor. I turned around to face him, flushing with
embarrassment.
Binns stared at me as if he'd never seen anyone quite so appalling, on either side of the grave.
"I shall speak to the Headmaster about you, young Filch!" the ghost said, coldly. "And, I shall
speak to Mr. Pringle as well!"
He turned and swept off down the corridor, in a huff.
"Who's Mr. Pringle?" Creevey asked.
"He was the caretaker before Mr. Filch." Potter said. "Ron's Mum and Dad were at school then.
It was ages ago."
"He's dead, now," I said.
"Oh!" Creevey was wide-eyed. "Can Professor Binns talk to another dead person, even if they
aren't a ghost?"
Potter looked at me, questioningly.
"How should I know? It never occurred to me to wonder about a thing like that!" I said, with
considerable irritation. Honestly, where did Creevey get these questions?
"Do you think he's really going to fetch Dumbledore?" Potter asked me.
At least that was a sensible question.
"I don't know. Don't worry. I'm taking full responsibility for this," I said, glumly.
Potter straightened his glasses. He grinned at me as he ran a hand though his perennially messy
black hair. "Well, the Headmaster isn't here yet, and we haven't rescued Mrs. Norris. Are you still with
me, Colin?"
"Yeah, Harry!" Creevey said, with characteristic enthusiasm.
They took off down the corridor together, like a pair of bolts shot from Hagrid's crossbow.
"Remember! *No* playing about!" I yelled after them.
*******
Tired and sore, I asked red-and-gold to take me back to the entrance hall. I simply didn't have it
in me to chase the cats any longer. I would have to trust the boys to guard my sweet one's honor. Someone
had to finish scrubbing the floor, didn't they?
The next time I heard Hogwarts' feline version of the Wild Hunt, it appeared that Potter and
Creevey had pursued the cats up to the highest staircase. I could only distinguish a very few distinct cats'
voices among the yowls, when they began to descend again.
When the chase grew close enough for me to see, I noted that Mrs. Norris was now accompanied
by only two stalwart swains. One tom was large and black. The other tom was even larger, with fluffy
ginger fur and an oddly squashed looking face.
Potter and Creevey were doing those heart-stopping steep dives once more, matching the cats'
breakneck speed.
Potter fired a spell, and Stunned the black tom.
"Only one more left!" I shouted. "What are you waiting for? Get him!"
Still diving, the boys exchanged a glance.
"Hermione may never forgive us..." I heard Potter say, as he aimed.
It was then, just when I thought it was all over, that disaster struck.
Peeves had not been heard from in quite a while. He must have been shadowing the boys, keeping
invisible, and enjoying the fun.
But, if Potter and Creevey were to eliminate the very last tom, the fun would be over! Peeves
couldn't allow that to happen.
He appeared suddenly, directly in the path of the boys' flight. His arms were outstretched and he
looked as if he intended to stay right where he was.
Potter swerved to avoid the poltergeist.
But, Creevey, less experienced and probably tired to boot, crashed right into Peeves.
The poltergeist had made himself very solid.
Creevey was knocked from his Shooting Star. The mousy-haired boy plummeted downward,
headfirst, towards the stone floor forty feet below.
"Colin!!!" Potter shouted.
My heart in my mouth, I was too terrified to make a sound. I was sure that the child would be
killed!
Sick with horror, I even forgot about poor Mrs. Norris. When she and the ginger tom reached the
floor of the entrance hall, racing past me on their way over to the dungeon stairs, I didn't even try to stop
them.
The pair of feline lovers went dashing down, into the dungeons, out of sight.
Moaning, I covered my eyes. Poor little Creevey was doomed! It was all my fault! I couldn't bear
to watch!
And so, I missed seeing one of Harry Potter's greatest catches.
I didn't open my eyes until I heard Creevey say, breathlessly,
"Brilliant save, Harry! Thanks!"
Potter had caught his fellow Gryffindor just six feet away from a very messy death. He was
holding on to Creevey's ankles with both hands, hanging upside down from his Firebolt, clinging to the
broom with his knees.
A moment later, the boys were back down on the clean floor. I was so relieved that they were
both safe that I could have embraced them. Fortunately, for all three of us, I was still too weak and badly
shaken by Creevey's near escape to move.
"Wow!" Creevey kept saying, as he summoned his Shooting Star down into his hand. "That was
*so* cool! I bet that no one in the history of Hogwarts has *ever* had a detention this cool! Right Harry?
Right?"
Potter was as white as a sheet.
I'd seen Alastor Moody like this, recently. So pale that his many scars were invisible. Potter was
that pale. The famous lightning scar on his forehead seemed to have vanished.
As Colin continued to chatter and thank him, Potter looked at me. The expression in his green
eyes made him seem almost ancient. No boy his age should ever look like that.
It was especially shocking to see that look on a face that so resembled James Potter's. James had
never lost that devil-may-care recklessness in all time I'd known him. Poor boy, he'd always seemed to
have faith that things would turn out all right in the end.
Not Harry. He knew how close to disaster we'd come. I could see the specter of poor, lost Cedric
Diggory in his green eyes as he clapped Colin's shoulder.
"All right, Colin...?" Harry asked gruffly, the color slowly returning to his face. "You did some
excellent flying yourself..."
"But Mrs. Norris still got away from us!" Colin cried. "With Crookshanks! I saw them running
down to the dungeons! Do you want us to go after them, Mr. Filch?"
Faintly, echoing up the stairs from the dungeons, we could hear the two cats' voices raised in
triumphant nuptial bliss.
"No..." I said, weakly. "Let them go, Colin."
His eyes widened. "Does that mean...? Oh! Hermione's going to be a gran!! Isn't that wonderful,
Harry? Do you think she'll be glad?"
"Yes, Colin. It's wonderful. I'm sure Hermione will be very glad." Potter managed a smile.
"Your detention is over, boys. Thank you for all you did," I said. My voice was very faint.
A sudden shriek overhead made all three of us look up.
Peeves, apparently, had been hoping to sneak away unnoticed. He hadn't been successful. The
poltergeist was struggling helplessly in the grasp of the one being in the Castle that he truly feared.
A gaunt, staring ghost, covered in silvery blood stains, had Peeves firmly by the collar.
"Thank you, Baron," said a stern, clear voice. "You can leave the others to me."
Professor McGonagall was coming down the marble staircase, carefully stepping around the
Stunned tomcats in her path. Her mouth was the thinnest of lines. The fierce look in her grey eyes made
Potter, Creevey and me cringe.
"Professor Binns was on his way to the Headmaster, with a most interesting tale to tell," Minerva
said. "As it happens, he met the Baron and me, instead."
*******
I did not know what the Baron was doing to Peeves, but it must have hurt. The poltergeist's
howls were audible from where I sat, in my broom cupboard, on an upturned cardboard box.
Unfortunately, I couldn't enjoy a good gloat at Peeves' expense at the moment. I was too busy
shrieking with pain myself.
"What *is* that stuff?" I gasped, when I could talk. "It STINGS!"
"Muggles refer to it as `iodine.'" Minerva told me, briskly. "And it was your decision not to go to
see Poppy, like a sensible man, so you have no one to blame for this except yourself."
Finished with the scratches on my arms, she dabbed a clean cloth, dipped in iodine, on my
gouged nose.
I yelled even louder than Peeves. And I was sure that the poltergeist could hear me, just as well
as I could hear him.
"These wounds must be cleaned out. Some of these scratches are rather deep," Minerva said. She
was holding my chin, firmly as I tried to flinch away. "Very prone to infections, cat-scratches are. Don't
squirm about so, Argus!"
Not looking terribly sorry for me, she began working at a long scratch under my right eye.
"Oh, well," I consoled myself, as I cried out in misery once more. "At least Peeves will consider
us `even' now. And he won't want tonight's events referred to, ever again, any more than I will..."
Potter and Creevey, both apparently familiar with the effects of `iodine,' were watching me with
sympathy. The boys were handing Minerva clean cloths whenever she asked.
Minerva had already given all three of us a very stern Talking To. Even though I had admitted to
her that the whole fiasco was my fault, she'd included the boys in her scolding.
"They should have known better than to listen to a man who had clearly taken leave of his
senses!" she said, grimly.
Potter was still pale. "Yes, Professor..." he said, quietly.
Minerva's face softened a bit, when she saw the look on his face. "Well, there was no lasting
harm done. As long as you and Colin both understand that tonight's antics are never to be repeated
again."
"Yes, Professor," Potter repeated.
Creevey nodded vigorously. "We'll never do it again!" He said. Even he was looking a bit sober.
"I believe you. And I will not assign you a further detention. I shudder to think what Mr. Filch
might have you do."
Ouch! That stung, even worse than iodine! I suppose I'd deserved it.
"I know we were lucky, Professor," I admitted, terribly ashamed. "But I wouldn't say there was
no lasting harm done..."
Minerva looked at me in exasperation. "There are fates worse than kittens, Argus."
"I know..." I whispered, looking at Colin, grateful that he was alive and well. "B-but..."
"Why are you so set against Mrs. Norris having kittens?" Harry wanted to know. "She's not
young, but she's not old either. She'll take good care of them. It's what cats are supposed to do. She must
have had kittens before."
The boy deserved an honest answer.
"The last time she had kittens was years ago," I said. "It was before you came. During Percy
Weasley's first year. One of the kittens died. It was an accident."
The expressions of sympathy on the boys' faces made my voice grow harsh.
"That particular kitten was always too adventurous for its own good!" I said, angrily.
I would never forget poor Mrs. Norris's grief. She'd searched for her lost catling everywhere.
Cried piteously when she'd found him.
"Well, these things happen," I continued gruffly. "Little animals are fragile. Life is unfair. At
least I didn't get completely ridiculous about it and weep like Hagrid would have done! Wouldn't have
brought the dead kitten back, would it?"
Minerva, Harry and Colin all looked at me, sternly. It was Harry who spoke first, leaping to
Hagrid's defense.
"Hagrid isn't ridiculous!" Potter said, heatedly. "He might cry when something's hurting him,
but he gets over things! Hagrid wouldn't be afraid to let Mrs. Norris have more kittens, if that's what she
needed to do!"
I glowered at the boy, feeling as if I'd been dosed with pepperup potion. Surely there was steam
coming out of my ears. What impudence!
The worst thing was.... he was absolutely right.
I looked away first, staring at the floor.
"What happened to the other kittens?" Colin piped up.
"They went to good homes," Minerva answered him, smiling. "Heather Abbott, Hannah's sister
took the two little queens. Named them `Tansy' and `Rue.'" Milton Bulstrode took one of the little toms.
Named him 'Agamemnon.' Who took the other tom, Argus?"
"Cecily Brocklehurst. She named him 'Merlin.'" I said, still miserable. "Mrs. Norris saw to the
choosing herself. "
"Did the one who died have a name?" Colin asked me.
"No," I said, gruffly.
He was silent for a moment, but perked up again almost immediately. "Do you think that Mrs.
Norris will let me have one of this litter? I'd like a kitten! What do you think the kittens will look like?
Will they be grey or ginger-colored? Maybe Mrs. Norris will let Dennis have a kitten too! That way my
kitten and Dennis's could stay together, like Hannah's sister's two cats! I'm sure that Mrs. Norris would
let Ginny have a kitten. Ginny's always wanted one. Mrs. Norris is very fond of Ginny. What do you think
I should call my kitten, Harry?"
It was amazing. He'd said all that, without even stopping to breathe.
Minerva had finished tending the last of my wounds. She stood up. "Off to bed with you, Harry.
Off to bed, with you, Colin. It's very late. Carry your brooms, mind you. There will be no more flying in
the Castle!"
"Yes, Professor!" Colin chirped, still bouncing enthusiastically as he headed into the corridor.
"Do you want to have a race, Harry? Don't worry, Professor, I mean a running-race! Harry's fast, but I
can keep up. And I'm getting faster, aren't I, Harry? Seekers need to build up their stamina...."
Still prattling away, Creevey trotted into the hall.
Harry grinned at the smaller boy with both affection and exasperation. For a moment he looked
older than his years again. Not careworn and ancient, simply old enough to understand that little creatures
might be a bother, but they were also very precious.
The look was gone in a moment, but seeing it took my breath away. Potter deserved my thanks
for many things; for saving Creevey, for his hard work, for his insight, uncomfortable though it was. But,
by the time I found my voice again, he was gone.
He and Creevey were racing each other up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower, brooms over their
shoulders.
Children.
Minerva was smiling at me, her eyes bright. She'd seen Potter's face too.
"I know..." she murmured. "Sometimes the maturity in children can amaze me too. Almost as
much as the immaturity in certain adults."
I winced.
END OF CHAPTER FOUR
********
Author's Notes:
Yup, Crookshanks was the purrrfect choice for the kittens' father. No other tom would do.
Minerva's use of iodine to patch up Filch, was inspired by a scene in Andolyn's story "Muggle."
UnrepentantReader: Thank you!! Peeves also wondered what the world was coming to when Filch started
breaking the rules.
Danalas: Thank you for your kind comments, and for the lightsabers and the peaches!!
RioRaptor & Shadow: Thank you & Thank you!! Filch is hoping that Snape will never find out that he
allowed Harry and Colin to go flying around the Castle on their brooms.
Ariana Deralte: Thank you!! The Bloody Baron remains the best way to take care of Peeves... the Doors
probably wouldn't work on ghosts.
Gramarye: Thank you!! I like Ron very much and am hoping to coax him into a chapter. Maybe the next
one.
Lizard of Fire: Thank you!! Yes, if Filch could use a wand, Peeves would be TOAST. Harry and Colin just
told Professor Binns the truth, since Filch was right there to back them up.
Rabbit: Thank you!!
Elspeth: Thank you!! I was going to have Professor McGonagall be the one to catch them, but then
Professor Binns started waving his ghostly hand saying "Let me!" So I did.
Professor Snape couldn't catch Harry and Colin because he was in his room, fast asleep. (That is, he
*was* asleep. Then Mrs. Norris and Crookshanks wandered down the corridor outside Snape's rooms
with romance on their minds....) ;-)
Quoth the Raven: Thank you!! I love the idea of Ron as Keeper! (It's not mine, I got it from Gramarye.)
Mrs. Norris hasn't put Harry on her short list of "favorites," but he's no longer on the "scratch first and
ask questions later" list. He did save Filch's life.
Good point that people in the other houses do demonstrate negative qualities. I knew in my heart that
Rita was a perfect Slytherin, I just felt bad about putting her there. But, if it comes up in the story again, I
suppose I will say that she was a Slytherin. I guess she wouldn't have been happy anywhere else, not even
in Ravenclaw...
Lataradk: Thank you!! Cat scratches are quite nasty. Argus knows now that he made a bad mistake by
letting Harry and Colin fly their brooms in the Castle, but he already feels punished enough; first by all
the bites and scratches, and then by Minerva and her iodine. So, he's not going to beat himself up over his
mistake forever.
Re: Lord of the Rings, I always loved that scene when Galadriel was tempted by the Ring. "I shall be
beautiful and terrible and all shall love me and despair!" And then, she had the strength to turn away.
Awesome! Yes, a Tolkien Elf gone Dark would make an incredible villain!
Mystical Witch: Thank you!! Yes, Mrs. Norris is pregnant. Haven't decided how many kittens yet. I
couldn't resist letting her get pregnant. The idea of Filch dealing with kittens is so amusing.
Greenearth: Thank you!! Here's more!
Alchemine: Thank you!! A while back someone asked why Mrs. Norris was "Mrs." And I got the idea to
write a story about her having kittens. Along with the idea came an image of Filch, defending her honor
with his mop and bucket. I knew I'd have to use it eventually.
a Harry Potter fan-fic
by Ozma
a sequel to "Squib Wizard"
Chapter 4: A Fate Worse Than Kittens
Mounted on their brooms, Harry Potter and Colin Creevey went soaring up towards the distant
entrance hall ceiling. The young wizards had a mission; they were attempting to track down and Stun the
band of yowling, amorous tomcats currently pursuing my poor Mrs. Norris through the corridors of
Hogwarts Castle.
If my sweet cat hadn't been in heat, she wouldn't have given any of those uncouth feline ruffians
the time of day! Unfortunately, she was a complete slave to her biological urges at the moment. Some of
the heart-rending, lovesick cries belonged to her, too.
I stood in the entrance hall, far below the boys, unable to believe what I had just done.
I'd really given Potter and Creevey my permission to fly their brooms. Through the Castle
corridors. At night!
"Against the Rules" did not even *begin* to convey the enormity of my crime!
Peeves was hovering in the air over my head. From the look of him, he was also having trouble
believing what I'd done. The poltergeist's eyes were as wide and huge as a house-elf's.
Some of this was his fault too! He'd kept letting Mrs. Norris out of our rooms, finally driving me
to take drastic measures to ensure her continued chastity!
Peeves and I saw the boys pause at top of the stairs leading to the fifth floor. They hovered for a
moment. Then, with Potter leading, they flew through the door, and out of our sight.
Peeves found his voice. "Shall I start handing out detentions, then?" The poltergeist asked me,
indignantly. "Shall I start punishing students? Filling out forms? Get myself an office?"
"What are you going on about, Peeves?" I muttered.
"If you're going to start making mischief, then what am I supposed to do?!" Peeves fumed.
"I'm not making mischief! I'm trying to prevent it!" I snarled.
The sound of yowling cats increased in volume. Potter and Creevey had apparently herded the
band of felines back towards the main staircase. With a raucous cacophony of bouncing echoes, the cats
surged down the stairs, like a furry, multicolored waterfall.
Whooping and yelling and generally making as much noise as the cats (even though there were
only two of them) Potter and Creevey both went into heart-stoppingly steep dives.
"If you're `preventing mischief,' what's all this, then?" Peeves yelled, over the noise.
"Shut UP!" I said, trying to catch sight of Mrs. Norris among the other cats.
There she was, visible in the midst of her troop of admirers. I did a rapid count, estimating their
number at around twenty cats, at least!
"Good shot, Colin!" Potter shouted, as Creevey dropped a large, white tom.
"That makes six for me, Harry!" Creevey exulted shrilly. "I've nearly caught up to you!"
"Not quite..." Potter called back, "I've gotten eleven now!"
"Er... I guess that's twelve for you, then," Creevey said, as Potter quickly Stunned a rusty-red
tom.
"Stop making so much noise!" I bellowed up at them, through cupped hands. "Between you and
the cats, you'll wake up the whole damn Castle!"
My own shout echoed off the vast, high ceiling.
I cringed, putting my hands over my mouth.
"Sorry!" they shouted down to me in unison; Potter's voice, husky and deepening, and Creevey's,
still very young and shrill. Even more echoes filled the entrance hall.
The cats, with Mrs. Norris leading, swept through the door leading to the third floor.
Potter and Creevey raced after them. The two toms that they'd just Stunned were left behind,
resting quietly on the stairs.
Peeves started to cackle wickedly his mood brightening.
"Oh, what fun this is!" he cried. "Maybe I should tell the Headmaster... it would be for your own
good, really. Then again, maybe I shan't. His Headship might have Snape beat you bloody this time, and
you're bloody enough already."
"Poor Filch," he added, with gleeful false sympathy. "So many bites and scratches! What's the
matter? Didn't Mrs. Norris and her friends *like* having their fun interrupted?"
Overcome with laughter, the poltergeist flew up towards the third floor, following the boys and
the cats.
*******
The boys, the cats and the Poltergeist were all moving very fast. But I was able to keep close
behind them, thanks to my Doors.
Everywhere I looked I seemed to see another Stunned tomcat.
Good! Each one down meant another ruffian who would not be able to pursue my sweet girl!
Unfortunately, Hogwarts Castle seemed to have an endless supply of male cats! For every cat Stunned,
another one seemed to join the chase.
Grimly, I thought about what Creevey had told me about the Muggles called "vets." Did these
Muggles also practice their barbarism on the males of the species? Most likely they did. And it was easy to
guess what a vet must cut off, to "fix" a male. As much as the thought made me wince in sympathy, I
almost wished that Creevey could fetch a vet for me, and set the Muggle loose on the Castle's toms.
I was in the Library corridor. The mob of cats must have changed direction because they were
running towards me now. Ah, I'd been hoping for such a chance! When Mrs. Norris came into view I
sprang towards her.
Making a lucky catch, I grabbed her away from the circle of her admirers!
My sweet cat promptly became a bundle of claws and teeth in my arms.
Yelling in pain, I was forced to let her go.
And then I had to throw myself flat on the floor as Potter and Creevey came speeding down the
corridor, straight at me. The boys were flying extremely low, less than three feet above the floor.
I could hear Peeves' obnoxious cackles of delight.
"It helps a bit if you try to think of them as Bludgers, with claws and teeth!" Potter was yelling.
"This gives me a whole new respect for Fred and George!" Creevey yelled back.
"Don't play Quidditch with them... STUN them!" I snarled, just as a terrible wave of cold swept
over me from behind.
"What... is... the MEANING of this?" demanded a rather dry, dusty voice. "Explain yourselves,
all of you!"
Potter and Creevey both performed flawless hairpin turns, and came back down the corridor to
hover in front of the furious Professor.
Peeves seemed to have disappeared.
"Er... hello, Professor Binns," Potter said, breathlessly. "We're just trying to help Mr. Filch
rescue his cat!"
"On your brooms?" Binns said, getting even paler and more transparent than usual. I couldn't
tell if it was from shock, or anger.
"But Mr. Filch *said* we could!" Creevey piped up.
"Is this true?" Hogwarts' only ghost-Professor asked me, sternly.
"Yes, sir..." I said, picking myself up off the floor. I turned around to face him, flushing with
embarrassment.
Binns stared at me as if he'd never seen anyone quite so appalling, on either side of the grave.
"I shall speak to the Headmaster about you, young Filch!" the ghost said, coldly. "And, I shall
speak to Mr. Pringle as well!"
He turned and swept off down the corridor, in a huff.
"Who's Mr. Pringle?" Creevey asked.
"He was the caretaker before Mr. Filch." Potter said. "Ron's Mum and Dad were at school then.
It was ages ago."
"He's dead, now," I said.
"Oh!" Creevey was wide-eyed. "Can Professor Binns talk to another dead person, even if they
aren't a ghost?"
Potter looked at me, questioningly.
"How should I know? It never occurred to me to wonder about a thing like that!" I said, with
considerable irritation. Honestly, where did Creevey get these questions?
"Do you think he's really going to fetch Dumbledore?" Potter asked me.
At least that was a sensible question.
"I don't know. Don't worry. I'm taking full responsibility for this," I said, glumly.
Potter straightened his glasses. He grinned at me as he ran a hand though his perennially messy
black hair. "Well, the Headmaster isn't here yet, and we haven't rescued Mrs. Norris. Are you still with
me, Colin?"
"Yeah, Harry!" Creevey said, with characteristic enthusiasm.
They took off down the corridor together, like a pair of bolts shot from Hagrid's crossbow.
"Remember! *No* playing about!" I yelled after them.
*******
Tired and sore, I asked red-and-gold to take me back to the entrance hall. I simply didn't have it
in me to chase the cats any longer. I would have to trust the boys to guard my sweet one's honor. Someone
had to finish scrubbing the floor, didn't they?
The next time I heard Hogwarts' feline version of the Wild Hunt, it appeared that Potter and
Creevey had pursued the cats up to the highest staircase. I could only distinguish a very few distinct cats'
voices among the yowls, when they began to descend again.
When the chase grew close enough for me to see, I noted that Mrs. Norris was now accompanied
by only two stalwart swains. One tom was large and black. The other tom was even larger, with fluffy
ginger fur and an oddly squashed looking face.
Potter and Creevey were doing those heart-stopping steep dives once more, matching the cats'
breakneck speed.
Potter fired a spell, and Stunned the black tom.
"Only one more left!" I shouted. "What are you waiting for? Get him!"
Still diving, the boys exchanged a glance.
"Hermione may never forgive us..." I heard Potter say, as he aimed.
It was then, just when I thought it was all over, that disaster struck.
Peeves had not been heard from in quite a while. He must have been shadowing the boys, keeping
invisible, and enjoying the fun.
But, if Potter and Creevey were to eliminate the very last tom, the fun would be over! Peeves
couldn't allow that to happen.
He appeared suddenly, directly in the path of the boys' flight. His arms were outstretched and he
looked as if he intended to stay right where he was.
Potter swerved to avoid the poltergeist.
But, Creevey, less experienced and probably tired to boot, crashed right into Peeves.
The poltergeist had made himself very solid.
Creevey was knocked from his Shooting Star. The mousy-haired boy plummeted downward,
headfirst, towards the stone floor forty feet below.
"Colin!!!" Potter shouted.
My heart in my mouth, I was too terrified to make a sound. I was sure that the child would be
killed!
Sick with horror, I even forgot about poor Mrs. Norris. When she and the ginger tom reached the
floor of the entrance hall, racing past me on their way over to the dungeon stairs, I didn't even try to stop
them.
The pair of feline lovers went dashing down, into the dungeons, out of sight.
Moaning, I covered my eyes. Poor little Creevey was doomed! It was all my fault! I couldn't bear
to watch!
And so, I missed seeing one of Harry Potter's greatest catches.
I didn't open my eyes until I heard Creevey say, breathlessly,
"Brilliant save, Harry! Thanks!"
Potter had caught his fellow Gryffindor just six feet away from a very messy death. He was
holding on to Creevey's ankles with both hands, hanging upside down from his Firebolt, clinging to the
broom with his knees.
A moment later, the boys were back down on the clean floor. I was so relieved that they were
both safe that I could have embraced them. Fortunately, for all three of us, I was still too weak and badly
shaken by Creevey's near escape to move.
"Wow!" Creevey kept saying, as he summoned his Shooting Star down into his hand. "That was
*so* cool! I bet that no one in the history of Hogwarts has *ever* had a detention this cool! Right Harry?
Right?"
Potter was as white as a sheet.
I'd seen Alastor Moody like this, recently. So pale that his many scars were invisible. Potter was
that pale. The famous lightning scar on his forehead seemed to have vanished.
As Colin continued to chatter and thank him, Potter looked at me. The expression in his green
eyes made him seem almost ancient. No boy his age should ever look like that.
It was especially shocking to see that look on a face that so resembled James Potter's. James had
never lost that devil-may-care recklessness in all time I'd known him. Poor boy, he'd always seemed to
have faith that things would turn out all right in the end.
Not Harry. He knew how close to disaster we'd come. I could see the specter of poor, lost Cedric
Diggory in his green eyes as he clapped Colin's shoulder.
"All right, Colin...?" Harry asked gruffly, the color slowly returning to his face. "You did some
excellent flying yourself..."
"But Mrs. Norris still got away from us!" Colin cried. "With Crookshanks! I saw them running
down to the dungeons! Do you want us to go after them, Mr. Filch?"
Faintly, echoing up the stairs from the dungeons, we could hear the two cats' voices raised in
triumphant nuptial bliss.
"No..." I said, weakly. "Let them go, Colin."
His eyes widened. "Does that mean...? Oh! Hermione's going to be a gran!! Isn't that wonderful,
Harry? Do you think she'll be glad?"
"Yes, Colin. It's wonderful. I'm sure Hermione will be very glad." Potter managed a smile.
"Your detention is over, boys. Thank you for all you did," I said. My voice was very faint.
A sudden shriek overhead made all three of us look up.
Peeves, apparently, had been hoping to sneak away unnoticed. He hadn't been successful. The
poltergeist was struggling helplessly in the grasp of the one being in the Castle that he truly feared.
A gaunt, staring ghost, covered in silvery blood stains, had Peeves firmly by the collar.
"Thank you, Baron," said a stern, clear voice. "You can leave the others to me."
Professor McGonagall was coming down the marble staircase, carefully stepping around the
Stunned tomcats in her path. Her mouth was the thinnest of lines. The fierce look in her grey eyes made
Potter, Creevey and me cringe.
"Professor Binns was on his way to the Headmaster, with a most interesting tale to tell," Minerva
said. "As it happens, he met the Baron and me, instead."
*******
I did not know what the Baron was doing to Peeves, but it must have hurt. The poltergeist's
howls were audible from where I sat, in my broom cupboard, on an upturned cardboard box.
Unfortunately, I couldn't enjoy a good gloat at Peeves' expense at the moment. I was too busy
shrieking with pain myself.
"What *is* that stuff?" I gasped, when I could talk. "It STINGS!"
"Muggles refer to it as `iodine.'" Minerva told me, briskly. "And it was your decision not to go to
see Poppy, like a sensible man, so you have no one to blame for this except yourself."
Finished with the scratches on my arms, she dabbed a clean cloth, dipped in iodine, on my
gouged nose.
I yelled even louder than Peeves. And I was sure that the poltergeist could hear me, just as well
as I could hear him.
"These wounds must be cleaned out. Some of these scratches are rather deep," Minerva said. She
was holding my chin, firmly as I tried to flinch away. "Very prone to infections, cat-scratches are. Don't
squirm about so, Argus!"
Not looking terribly sorry for me, she began working at a long scratch under my right eye.
"Oh, well," I consoled myself, as I cried out in misery once more. "At least Peeves will consider
us `even' now. And he won't want tonight's events referred to, ever again, any more than I will..."
Potter and Creevey, both apparently familiar with the effects of `iodine,' were watching me with
sympathy. The boys were handing Minerva clean cloths whenever she asked.
Minerva had already given all three of us a very stern Talking To. Even though I had admitted to
her that the whole fiasco was my fault, she'd included the boys in her scolding.
"They should have known better than to listen to a man who had clearly taken leave of his
senses!" she said, grimly.
Potter was still pale. "Yes, Professor..." he said, quietly.
Minerva's face softened a bit, when she saw the look on his face. "Well, there was no lasting
harm done. As long as you and Colin both understand that tonight's antics are never to be repeated
again."
"Yes, Professor," Potter repeated.
Creevey nodded vigorously. "We'll never do it again!" He said. Even he was looking a bit sober.
"I believe you. And I will not assign you a further detention. I shudder to think what Mr. Filch
might have you do."
Ouch! That stung, even worse than iodine! I suppose I'd deserved it.
"I know we were lucky, Professor," I admitted, terribly ashamed. "But I wouldn't say there was
no lasting harm done..."
Minerva looked at me in exasperation. "There are fates worse than kittens, Argus."
"I know..." I whispered, looking at Colin, grateful that he was alive and well. "B-but..."
"Why are you so set against Mrs. Norris having kittens?" Harry wanted to know. "She's not
young, but she's not old either. She'll take good care of them. It's what cats are supposed to do. She must
have had kittens before."
The boy deserved an honest answer.
"The last time she had kittens was years ago," I said. "It was before you came. During Percy
Weasley's first year. One of the kittens died. It was an accident."
The expressions of sympathy on the boys' faces made my voice grow harsh.
"That particular kitten was always too adventurous for its own good!" I said, angrily.
I would never forget poor Mrs. Norris's grief. She'd searched for her lost catling everywhere.
Cried piteously when she'd found him.
"Well, these things happen," I continued gruffly. "Little animals are fragile. Life is unfair. At
least I didn't get completely ridiculous about it and weep like Hagrid would have done! Wouldn't have
brought the dead kitten back, would it?"
Minerva, Harry and Colin all looked at me, sternly. It was Harry who spoke first, leaping to
Hagrid's defense.
"Hagrid isn't ridiculous!" Potter said, heatedly. "He might cry when something's hurting him,
but he gets over things! Hagrid wouldn't be afraid to let Mrs. Norris have more kittens, if that's what she
needed to do!"
I glowered at the boy, feeling as if I'd been dosed with pepperup potion. Surely there was steam
coming out of my ears. What impudence!
The worst thing was.... he was absolutely right.
I looked away first, staring at the floor.
"What happened to the other kittens?" Colin piped up.
"They went to good homes," Minerva answered him, smiling. "Heather Abbott, Hannah's sister
took the two little queens. Named them `Tansy' and `Rue.'" Milton Bulstrode took one of the little toms.
Named him 'Agamemnon.' Who took the other tom, Argus?"
"Cecily Brocklehurst. She named him 'Merlin.'" I said, still miserable. "Mrs. Norris saw to the
choosing herself. "
"Did the one who died have a name?" Colin asked me.
"No," I said, gruffly.
He was silent for a moment, but perked up again almost immediately. "Do you think that Mrs.
Norris will let me have one of this litter? I'd like a kitten! What do you think the kittens will look like?
Will they be grey or ginger-colored? Maybe Mrs. Norris will let Dennis have a kitten too! That way my
kitten and Dennis's could stay together, like Hannah's sister's two cats! I'm sure that Mrs. Norris would
let Ginny have a kitten. Ginny's always wanted one. Mrs. Norris is very fond of Ginny. What do you think
I should call my kitten, Harry?"
It was amazing. He'd said all that, without even stopping to breathe.
Minerva had finished tending the last of my wounds. She stood up. "Off to bed with you, Harry.
Off to bed, with you, Colin. It's very late. Carry your brooms, mind you. There will be no more flying in
the Castle!"
"Yes, Professor!" Colin chirped, still bouncing enthusiastically as he headed into the corridor.
"Do you want to have a race, Harry? Don't worry, Professor, I mean a running-race! Harry's fast, but I
can keep up. And I'm getting faster, aren't I, Harry? Seekers need to build up their stamina...."
Still prattling away, Creevey trotted into the hall.
Harry grinned at the smaller boy with both affection and exasperation. For a moment he looked
older than his years again. Not careworn and ancient, simply old enough to understand that little creatures
might be a bother, but they were also very precious.
The look was gone in a moment, but seeing it took my breath away. Potter deserved my thanks
for many things; for saving Creevey, for his hard work, for his insight, uncomfortable though it was. But,
by the time I found my voice again, he was gone.
He and Creevey were racing each other up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower, brooms over their
shoulders.
Children.
Minerva was smiling at me, her eyes bright. She'd seen Potter's face too.
"I know..." she murmured. "Sometimes the maturity in children can amaze me too. Almost as
much as the immaturity in certain adults."
I winced.
END OF CHAPTER FOUR
********
Author's Notes:
Yup, Crookshanks was the purrrfect choice for the kittens' father. No other tom would do.
Minerva's use of iodine to patch up Filch, was inspired by a scene in Andolyn's story "Muggle."
UnrepentantReader: Thank you!! Peeves also wondered what the world was coming to when Filch started
breaking the rules.
Danalas: Thank you for your kind comments, and for the lightsabers and the peaches!!
RioRaptor & Shadow: Thank you & Thank you!! Filch is hoping that Snape will never find out that he
allowed Harry and Colin to go flying around the Castle on their brooms.
Ariana Deralte: Thank you!! The Bloody Baron remains the best way to take care of Peeves... the Doors
probably wouldn't work on ghosts.
Gramarye: Thank you!! I like Ron very much and am hoping to coax him into a chapter. Maybe the next
one.
Lizard of Fire: Thank you!! Yes, if Filch could use a wand, Peeves would be TOAST. Harry and Colin just
told Professor Binns the truth, since Filch was right there to back them up.
Rabbit: Thank you!!
Elspeth: Thank you!! I was going to have Professor McGonagall be the one to catch them, but then
Professor Binns started waving his ghostly hand saying "Let me!" So I did.
Professor Snape couldn't catch Harry and Colin because he was in his room, fast asleep. (That is, he
*was* asleep. Then Mrs. Norris and Crookshanks wandered down the corridor outside Snape's rooms
with romance on their minds....) ;-)
Quoth the Raven: Thank you!! I love the idea of Ron as Keeper! (It's not mine, I got it from Gramarye.)
Mrs. Norris hasn't put Harry on her short list of "favorites," but he's no longer on the "scratch first and
ask questions later" list. He did save Filch's life.
Good point that people in the other houses do demonstrate negative qualities. I knew in my heart that
Rita was a perfect Slytherin, I just felt bad about putting her there. But, if it comes up in the story again, I
suppose I will say that she was a Slytherin. I guess she wouldn't have been happy anywhere else, not even
in Ravenclaw...
Lataradk: Thank you!! Cat scratches are quite nasty. Argus knows now that he made a bad mistake by
letting Harry and Colin fly their brooms in the Castle, but he already feels punished enough; first by all
the bites and scratches, and then by Minerva and her iodine. So, he's not going to beat himself up over his
mistake forever.
Re: Lord of the Rings, I always loved that scene when Galadriel was tempted by the Ring. "I shall be
beautiful and terrible and all shall love me and despair!" And then, she had the strength to turn away.
Awesome! Yes, a Tolkien Elf gone Dark would make an incredible villain!
Mystical Witch: Thank you!! Yes, Mrs. Norris is pregnant. Haven't decided how many kittens yet. I
couldn't resist letting her get pregnant. The idea of Filch dealing with kittens is so amusing.
Greenearth: Thank you!! Here's more!
Alchemine: Thank you!! A while back someone asked why Mrs. Norris was "Mrs." And I got the idea to
write a story about her having kittens. Along with the idea came an image of Filch, defending her honor
with his mop and bucket. I knew I'd have to use it eventually.