She couldn't speak.
She couldn't move.
She couldn't breathe.
A thousand images flooded her senses, sweeping her under in the tsunami of her memories. She saw people she knew, places she'd been, but couldn't remember any of it. Phantoms danced around her, surrounding her, sweeping through her, just beyond her conscious vision.
Rose…
A soft whisper echoed in her ears, the sound like a beacon, an anchor. Warm, sweet air filled her lungs. The world stopped spinning. The universe grew calm.
She didn't know how long she'd fallen, but it didn't matter now. She was home. She walked in the garden, letting the warm air wrap around her, comforting her. The thick layer of lush grass caressed her bare feet as she looked heavenward.
Rose…
The sky was red, as red as the rose she held against her cheek. Comfort and sorrow filled her heart, the comfort of familiarity, the solitude of this, her secret place. The sorrow for what she had lost, for what was yet to come.
Quistis…
He was there. She felt him as keenly as the thorn that pricked her finger. She watched, entranced, as a single droplet of blood beaded against the creamy white of her skin. She sensed him shift towards her, his thoughts far away, changing to focus on her. They both knew this day would come, had anticipated it, had prayed for it, had feared it.
She wiped the tiny drop of blood on the rose's silky petals before turning to face him. At first he was just a dark shape, silhouetted against the sky.
Quistis…
"We are not alone, sweet rose."
Platinum was dyed a ruddy red with the last embers of the star of day as the velvety darkness crept up from the west. Leathery wings stretched out, blotting out the last vestiges of twilight.
"Soon, rose. Soon we will be together once more…"
He turned, and in the deepening shadows she could see him…
"Quistis!"
Finally the golden voice cut through her mind, shattering the vision into a thousand tiny motes that drifted away on the warm evening breeze. She looked up, and found herself staring into Gabriel's amethyst orbs, wide with surprise and—
Concern?
"Where did you go?" His voice was harsh, harsher than she remembered. She shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs that seemed to be clouding her thinking.
"I don't know," she answered honestly, still trying to puzzle through the images that had swept over her. She then realized she had been clutching the platinum pendant that hung around her neck.
What does it all mean?
Although he looked unsatisfied with her response, Gabriel stepped away from her, making her suddenly aware that he had been holding her by the shoulders. She couldn't keep the slight blush from staining her cheeks when she realized just how close the dark haired man had been to her. She watched as he turned his back to her and began to walk down the path towards the fountain. His steps were slow, carefully measured.
"I think we should get back to town," he finally said, his voice low, full of emotion. When he turned back toward her, a strange look painted his face. Confusion? Sorrow?
Fear?
"Who are you?" she whispered.
"What?"
She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Who are you, Gabriel?"
"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."
Her shoulders slumped. She wasn't ready for this, not yet. She still had too many questions, didn't know what direction to go. "Never mind. You're right. We should get back."
He seemed perfectly happy to let the matter drop. Until he got next to her.
He reached out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her towards him. Her mercenary instincts cried out, demanding she snatch up Save the Queen. But other instincts also spoke, the woman battling with the warrior.
The woman won.
She let him pull her in, breathing in the intoxicating smell of him. Maybe it was the sunset, maybe it was the roses. Whatever it was, she couldn't resist.
And for once, she didn't want to.
"You keep asking me questions, Ms. Trepe," Gabriel whispered, "and then refusing to hear the answers. I have told you who I am. I am Gabriel Andovar. I am a wanderer. I live to seek what adventure I may. A sentiment you share, I believe. So now, let me ask you. Who are you? I.." He hesitated, and she could see him struggling to find the right words. "I know you. But I don't know how. I don't know where." His eyes narrowed, nearly glowing in their intensity.
Her tongue was tied, her breath caught in her throat. Her whole life had been spent waiting for this moment. Standing here, in this garden of roses, like it was drawn from a fairy-tale—drawn from my very dreams—in the arms of the most breathtakingly handsome man she'd every laid eyes on. His lips were so very close to hers…
She opened her mouth to speak…
A rumble of thunder rolled over the valley.
Gabriel looked up, noticing for the first time the black clouds that had rolled across the sky. He could see the dance of the lightning, frighteningly close. The wind had shifted, and the earthen smell of rain was heavy on the air.
"We need to get going," he announced, releasing her.
"Yes," she said, both disappointed and relieved. They headed back up the steps, down the hallway, and out through the statue of the angel. Gabriel gave the stone door a mighty push, the old slab squealing in protest. And as they walked away, Quistis just couldn't understand why she couldn't keep from crying…
Quistis closed the door to her room and leaned against it, sighing with relief. She felt like she'd been holding her breath the whole way to the manor house. Stripping the outer layer of her clothing, she dug out her pajamas, prepared to shower and then go to bed. She sighed softly as she looked at the plain, utilitarian garments, sitting down slowly on the edge of the bed.
Her whole life had always been about control. When they were children at Matron's orphanage, she had been the boss, the one in charge. When she'd gone to Garden, it had always been do your work, train hard, day after day. She'd become a SeeD by the age of fifteen. Fifteen! Fifteen year old girls should be experimenting with makeup, trying on clothes, giggling over the latest pop idol, not learning battle techniques and slaying monsters. Still, she'd never minded missing out on her youth. She didn't have time for silliness. Becoming an instructor had been part of the natural progression of things.
Losing her license had not.
That day, the SeeD graduation ball when chirpy little Rinoa Heartilly had entered their lives was one of Quistis's defining moments. If she hadn't lost her license, she would have never been a part of the story that began to unfold that day. Perhaps that was why she'd never been terribly bitter over the loss. Fate had a funny way of lining things up just right.
Is that why Cid sent me here, instead of someone else?
The thought was disturbing, and shook the cool, controlled woman more than a little. She wanted—no, she needed—to believe that fate wasn't real, that each person was able to choose their own path. After all, if her course in life was already laid out, why bother living?
No. Maybe fate set the stage, but she refused to believe that her actions, her thoughts, her feelings were insignificant in the course of her personal journey. Maybe it was fate that brought her here, maybe she was meant to go looking for the Finder's Way, maybe she was meant to meet Gabriel, but only she would decide where she went from there.
She couldn't deny the attraction she was beginning to feel for the purple eyed warrior, and that scared her, too. Only once before had she ever let herself breathe long enough to fall for someone, and that had blown up in her face.
Squall…
A small, bitter smile crept across her face as she thought of him. Oh, sure, she had gotten over him—she was even happy for him for the joy he'd found in Rinoa. But the ache from being rejected at all remained. It had shaken her self-esteem to the core. She had strived her whole life for perfection, but that wasn't enough for her dark and silent commander. It made her begin to doubt everything about her life, especially when the rejection had come on the heels of losing her instructor's license.
What if she let herself fall for Gabriel? He freely admitted he was a wanderer, an adventure seeker. She, on the other hand, had always demanded order and control. It just wouldn't work.
Would it?
Besides, she didn't know how he felt. He had seemed interested, but she wasn't so sure if she trusted her judgement where Gabriel was concerned.
And what about all these dreams and visions?
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, causing Quistis to jump.
"Ms. Trepe?" She heard Benton's voice through the door. She got up and padded quietly to the door, cracking it open
"Yes?"
"I've a message for you, ma'am. The mines are clear, and your team will be ready to go down again in the morning."
She smiled, nodding. "Thank you, Benton."
"Will you be taking dinner this evening, ma'am?"
"Um…yes. Do you think someone could bring a plate up for me? I'll be in the shower…"
"Of course, my lady. Good evening."
"Good night, Benton."
She sighed heavily, closing the door and heading for the bathroom. A shower, supper, and a good night's sleep would clear her head. Tomorrow she'd be down in the mines. They'd find the rod, and then she would deal with these other problems.
"Oh, and Quistis called for you," Rinoa added.
Squall blinked. "Quistis called? What did she want?"
"To make sure everybody's alive and the world's still safe." Rinoa giggled, but then her tone grew serious. "You know, we've got some really great friends."
"Yeah," he answered. "They are great…" There was a moment of silence as Squall wrestled with himself. Quistis's last words to him had been with him every step of this mission, and he'd had a lot to think about. Finally, he made a decision.
"Rinoa," he said slowly. "I…I love you."
There was silence on the other end, and at first Squall thought he'd done something wrong. Then, her voice echoed in his ears, husky and full of emotion.
"Really, Squall?"
He wasn't sure if that was quite what he'd wanted to hear. "Yes. Really. I want you to know that." He was struggling to find a way to express his feelings; he'd never been very good at it. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I—We're mercenaries, Rin. Any day could be the last day. Every time we say goodbye, I might never see you again. So I wanted you to know, no matter what, I love you."
"Oh. Wow." She laughed a little, a slight tremor in her voice. "I love you too, Squall," she whispered.
An uncontrollable smile spread across his face. "Thanks."
Giggle. "You're welcome, sweetie." She sighed. "As much as I'd love to continue talking to you…"
"You have to go. That's fine. Hey, you have the number to Quistis?"
"Yeah, sure." She gave it to him, while he committed the number to memory.
"Okay. I'll talk to you later, Rin. I…love you."
"It'll get easier every time you say it, babe. I love you." There was a quiet click as she hung up.
For a moment, Squall felt hollow listening to the silence on the telephone. Then he looked up, and saw that Selphie had entered the room. She was looking at him, a strange expression on her pretty face.
"Um…The surveillance is in place. When he moves, we'll be ready."
"Good."
They stood there in an awkward silence for a minute or two.
"Hey, Squall…I didn't mean to listen in."
"I know."
"Okay."
"Hey, Selphie?"
"Yeah?"
He reached his hand out to her, gesturing her to come closer. When she stepped forward, she gave a surprised yelp as he pulled her in, hugging her close.
"Whoa," she said quietly, leaning her head against his shoulder. "What's this all about?"
"I just want you to know…I care about all you guys." He looked down at her, a genuine smile lighting his eyes. "You guys are my family."
Selphie felt little tears at the corner of her eyes. "Oh, Squall. Are you okay?"
Squall chuckled. "Am I really that cold?"
"Well…yeah…"
"Whoops!" they heard Zell exclaim from the doorway. The spikey haired blonde gave them an embarrassed and slightly accusatory look, starting to backpedal. "I didn't know I'd be interrupting anything…"
"No, Zell, wait," Squall called. "Come here, man."
Zell raised his eyebrow, approaching slowly. The other eyebrow shot up to join the first when Selphie and Squall pulled him into their hug.
"Um," Zell said nervously, "just get it over with. Who died?"
Selphie laughed, pulling away to punch him lightly in the shoulder. "Nobody died, silly." Then she looked at Squall. "Or maybe somebody did."
"Yeah," Squall replied sofltly. "Maybe the old Squall did. Finally."
"Huh?" Zell asked, looking confused. The other two SeeDs laughed at him.
"Don't worry about it, honey," Selphie said, hugging him again. "We love you anyway."
Gabriel sighed softly as the steaming water pelted against his skin, allowing some of the tension to ease out of his muscles. He'd felt taunt, like a rubber band stretched too far, since the moment he'd stepped into the garden. He turned his head towards the showerhead, letting the water strike him full in the face before running down his body in tiny rivulets. An image of a certain blonde SeeD came to mind…
His eyes flew open. He reached down and turned the water off, sliding the door back from the stall and stepping onto the cold bathroom floor. He grabbed a towel off the hook on the wall, wiping away the excess water before wrapping it around his waist. Running a comb through his ebon mane, he tied it back before opening the door and walking across the floor of his room. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his back to the chair that sat in the corner.
"Oh, my," a smooth, silky voice purred, "were you getting ready for me, Gabriel?"
"Ana," Gabriel growled, not bothering to look, "don't you ever knock?"
She chuckled softly, lounging back in the chair. "How are things, dear?"
"Fine. I'm great."
"You know what I mean."
He sighed, standing and walking to the bureau. He pulled out a pair of boxers and a tee shirt. "Things are progressing," he replied, tossing the clothing on the bed.
"Have you gained her trust yet?"
She saw his back tense. "Almost. She's a careful one."
"I expected no less from a SeeD, which is why I called you in, Gabriel. You are the best."
He turned to face her, an angry glint in his eyes. "Then why are you here? If I'm the best, I don't need checking up on."
Ana chuckled, drumming her fingers against the arm of the chair. "Oh, you know I just like to visit you, my dear." She watched with pleasure as an involuntary shudder ran through him. She leaned forward, her expression suddenly intense. "Other matters are progressing more quickly than we expected. The rod must be found, and soon. Have you located the portal yet?"
"No. I don't even know where to begin to look. The notes your boys snatched talked only about the rod."
"I see." She paused, her mouth pursed. "It must be found, and quickly. Don't forget what I'm paying you for."
He stiffened. "I won't. Within a few days, the SeeD will belong to me, and with her, the rod. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I'd like to get dressed."
Ana rose gracefully, strolling over to him. She ran her finger down his chest, feeling his tension. "Ah, poor Gabriel," she murmured, reaching up to touch his hair, the black strands contrasting starkly with the crimson hue of her skin. "Soon, you will understand the depth of the power I seek."
"It doesn't matter to me," he replied huskily. "Just pay me and let me be."
For a moment, he could have sworn a look of regret crossed the woman's face. It was gone in a heartbeat, however, as she stepped back, melting away into the shadows.
Author's Note: I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far, but I would especially like to thank Bippo and Jello Ink. I had been having a really terrible day when I read those two reviews, and they made me smile when nothing else had. Thank you so much.