Warnings: Language and minor violence.

Boromir's Diary

Day 1: Rivendell

Called to a council. I want that Ring. I volunteered to join the Fellowship... to help....destroy....I want that Ring!

Day2: Rivendell

I want that Ring! Departed from Rivendell....I want that Ring!!

Day 3: Forest

I want that Ring! I had the oddest dream last night. I dreamt that I was frolicking in the fields with the hobbit Frodo hand in hand. Then, we were rolling in the flowers and kissing....then I whipped out my sword, chopped off his head, and stole the Ring! Ha! I should have more dreams like that! I wonder if there's something wrong with me.....I want that Ring!

Day 4: Forest

I want that Ring! Sam has been glaring at me.....I think he wants to kill me. Now why would he want to do that? I haven't done anything but stare at Frodo and maybe try to slit his throat in the middle of the night. Sheesh, not like it's a big deal. But now that I think on it...he might have a thing for Frodo.... I....I....I want that Ring damn it!!

Day 5: Forest

Still don't have the Ring....

Day 6: Forest

Still don't have the Ring.....beginning to hear voices....but that's normal....I've been hearing voices ever since I was a wee child. Then again, the voices were always telling me to burn things before....now they're telling me to kill everyone. Should I be worried? Frodo is scared today for some odd reason.....he looks so yummy when frightened......I want that Ring! Why can't I have the Ring?!

Day 12: Forest

Still don't have the Ring.....voices are becoming louder.....telling me to rip the hobbit to shreds......I think I'll sit by the dwarf. His skanky smell will take my mind off anything, any time. Have I mentioned that I want that damn Ring!!

Day 15: Forest

Still don't have the Ring.....Started to teach Merry and Pippin sword fighting. Nicked Pippin's hand.....felt bad....then both tackled me to the ground. Felt kind of good having the two on me.....now I'm even more confused. Later, I found Pippin getting into more mischief. He was messing with my sword hilt and scratched up the sheath....wanted to put him over my knee but I restrained myself. Saw Frodo sleeping alone.....went to take the Ring but Legolas smacked my hand....Damn that nosey elf! Note to self: when opportunity arises seek revenge on the elf. I want that Ring!!

Day 30: Forest

The Ring is still not in my hands yet......Aragorn has become a nuisance. He won't let me any where near Frodo. How am I supposed to steal the Ring if he's always guarding Frodo? I'm pondering the thought of Aragorn having an 'unfortunate accident'. Would the Fellowship really miss him if he were gone? I mean, it's not like he has some sort of destiny to fulfill or does he? I can't remember.....Oh well, we're coming up to a ravine now....Nice slippery rocks ahead.....

Day 35: Forest

Damn it!! I pushed Aragorn off a ravine and he still survived!! What the hell?! Later that day I stuffed a rattlesnake in his bedroll and it never attacked him!! It's like fate is out to protect him or something!! Wait, I guess the snake couldn't get the chance since his foot odor killed it off. I think he has some sort of fungus growing on his toenails. I'm surprised that God-awful stench hasn't killed any of us off yet. Ah well, at least some nice game animals were killed off by the stench. Saves us all the time and effort of hunting. I want that Ring!! Why is so hard to get a tiny trinket from a hobbit?!

Day 40: Forest

Still don't have the Ring. I had the oddest dream last night. I dreamt that I was hurled into a place of fire and brimstone with little guys dressed in red jump suits who poked me in the ass with pitchforks. Hmm, felt kind of good. Does that dream mean something? I can't help but wonder......I....I....I want that damn Ring!

Day 46: Mountain Path

I touched! I touched it! I touched it! Oh, I actually held the Ring! Frodo had slipped down the slope, with my help of course, and the Ring fell from his neck. I picked up the Ring and held it in my hands by the chain then Aragorn had to open his big mouth! He made me give the Ring back to Frodo! Before I could hand it over the hobbit snatched it right out of my hand! That little son of a bitch! Acting as if I'm some sort of thief! Of course I put on a fake smile and ruffled his hair. Fought the urge to tear the soft curls from his skull...An avalanche fell on us...very annoying. At least the snow got the grease out of my hair. I really, really hate this damn quest! Damn Aragorn! Damn Gandalf! Damn Legolas! Damn.....ow..ow...ow....ow....I just gave myself a headache. Argh, the voices are coming back! That's only increasing my......I want that Ring!

Day 52: Outside Moria

Gandalf spent half the day trying to figure out the damn password to the door. Sat off in the corner and watched Frodo. I have to devise a way to get that Ring! The door was finally opened and then this water monster attacked us. Tried to save Frodo but Aragorn shoved me out of the way so he could catch him instead. Damn bastard! Note to self: when opportunity arises seek revenge on Aragorn.

Day 54: Moria

Still don't have the Ring in my grasp. Found Frodo asleep in the dark so I tried to take the Ring. Legolas caught me and smacked my hand. I really have to find a way to get rid of that elf. Slept off in the corner alone....Why won't anyone sleep next to me? I'm so cold.....and lonely....I....I...I want that Ring!

Day 56: Moria

Nothing important happened today. Killed some orcs, a cave troll, and escaped the Balrog with no casualties on our side. Got to carry Frodo out of the mine....couldn't put him down. Then he bit me...so I threw him to the ground. That little hobbit has some sharp teeth! I think he bit me down to the bone! Note to self: when opportunity arises seek revenge on Frodo.

Day 57: Lothlorien

Was freaked out by some elven woman.....what was her name? Galadwapiel....Goldilocks.....Glasadriel....

Oh who the hell cares?! I have a feeling I won't be seeing her again anyway. Spent the night watching Frodo. Tried to take the Ring but that damn elf got in the way again! Grr.....I need to kill something to vent my rage! I think I'll go visit that elf woman's bird sanctuary......

Day 58: Lothlorien

Got shot in the ass with an arrow for killing two of the elf queen's prized songbirds. It wasn't my fault! I was aiming for the endangered shadow lark but it moved and my arrow went through the songbird. As for the other one....I meant to kill it. The damn thing wouldn't shut up! It's constant singing was blocking out the voices in my head. Ow...ow....ow...my freaking ass! I'm going to hunt down that elf that shot me! Hmm, this was my first day not thinking about......I want that Ring!! Later received a belt for a gift.......

Day 59: River

I want that Ring!! Spent most of my time staring at Frodo. Then I was knocked unconscious by a tree limb.....Why the hell didn't someone warn me?! Ow....my head......Note to self: when opportunity arises seek revenge on all tree limbs.

Day 60: Amon Hen

Confronted Frodo in the woods.......All I wanted to do was barrow it but he wouldn't even sit still to talk to me! I tackled him to the ground and tried to convince him very nicely to give it to me. Then, as I was calmly talking to him he kicked me between the legs! Thank God I was wearing a codpiece! Then he slipped the Ring on and hit me in the face. Damn. Wandered off and ran into Merry and Pippin surrounded by orcs. Drew out my sword and rushed bravely into battle......five minutes later: killed by orcs. Damn it! Note to self: when opportunity arises come back to haunt all orcs......

Next: Either Aragorn or Gandalf......