I can't...disappear yet.
As Squall drifted back to consciousness, the Presidential Palace's Guest Room slowly resolved itself about him. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he rolled out of the bed, groping about for his fur-lined jacket while at the same time searching for the chronometer on the wall.
09:25. His meeting with Laguna was in five minutes. Squall sighed as he pulled on the sleeve of his jacket. He had taken an entire day running it over in his head, and he had absolutely no idea what he was going to say. He supposed he should have plenty of questions to ask, but he couldn't actually seem to think of any. Why did you stay away? He didn't know where to go; Squall knew that. Why didn't you tell me? He wanted to, but couldn't find the words; Squall knew that, too. Indeed, the only questions he had were for himself. What would it have been like, growing up with a father instead of in Matron's orphanage? How different would my life be? What would I have turned out like?
Squall shook his head, stepping through the door and out into the hall. Nothing could change the fact that he had grown up an orphan. There was no point wasting time on could-haves. He was who he was, and that was that.
So once again, he banished the thoughts from his mind. And once again, the haunting presence of Ultimecia came forward to fill the void. Squall had hoped that understanding the Sorceress would finally allow him some peace of mind. But though Ultimecia no longer plagued his thoughts, in her place was Sarina, the young woman who had been pushed over the edge by an uncaring world. It was a sad irony, he thought: SeeD, the force tasked with destroying the Sorceress, had in the end effectively created her. All the hatred and persecution that had evolved against Sorceresses, all the anger that had eventually caused Sarina to lose first her family and then her mind, all of that had resulted from SeeD and its mission.
From him.
He absently sat on the lift, which automatically rose off the floor towards the main hall. SeeD's entire purpose is to end the threat of the sorceress, he thought, but if it weren't for us, there wouldn't be a threat to begin with. How many people are going to die because of what we have done? How many people's lives will be destroyed?
When he had hoped to come to terms with the future, he had never anticipated just what role he had played in it. And, now that he knew, he had to live with the fact that there was nothing he could do about it. That future was now part of his past, and there was no way to change it.
Can I stay in SeeD, knowing all this? he wondered. Can I take part in creating a world that can create someone like Ultimecia, even more than I already have?
Do I even have a choice?
He shook his head. He was caught in another circle of thought that would lead him nowhere. He could never leave SeeD. His life at Garden was all he had ever known.
Laguna clapped his hands together as the three SeeDs stepped into the office. Great! You're all here. We've got a problem.
Squall raised his eyebrows. Is he actually going to get straight to the point?
Man, I'm glad you guys are all right, Laguna went on. I couldn't reach you after we all went through time compression; I ended up around Winhill, a couple thousand miles away from a radio, so that made it kinda hard.
...Oh, well.
...especially since we didn't really have any way to get back to Esthar. Luckily, it turned out the Ragnarok was — He stopped himself. Anyway, you guys remember the Lunatic Pandora?
You mean that big thing that calls monsters from the moon? Zell asked.
Laguna nodded emphatically. So, we found it down over Centra, heading towards some place called Odin's Gate.
Odin? Squall wondered. Does he mean the Centra Ruins?
Anyway, it looks like it started out someplace around Winhill too, and has been heading south. Thing is, we've been tracking those small Lunar Cries like the one you ran into, and they've been doing the same thing. So, we think there might be a connection.
What do you want us to do? Squall asked.
Laguna blinked. Right! We want you guys to go down to Galbadia Garden — it's down by the Lunatic Pandora. We figured that, y'know, you guys might be able to do something to help.
Like what? Squall wondered, but then he frowned. G-Garden is down there? Does that mean Quistis and Irvine are there, too?
When do we leave? he asked.
Right away, Kiros' voice said from behind them. The Ragnarok is being prepared at the Airstation as we speak, he said as the SeeDs spun to face him.
Can I fly? Selphie asked.
Kiros blinked. ...You can work that out with our pilot.
Well, what are we waiting for? Laguna asked. Let's go! And he ran forward to lead the way.
Selphie ran after him, followed by the others. Oh, sir Laguna! I was wondering if you'd....
Squall watched them go for a moment before following. I have to talk to him I know, he thought. I just have to think of something to say.
- - = = = = - -
The odd, diamond-shaped frame structure of Odin's Gate was now visible against the horizon. According to Vaider, the Lunatic Pandora would be directly above the structure in 36 hours. Sometime between five and twenty minutes after that, the world would end.
What are we going to do now? Keri asked.
Quistis shook her head. We have to stop it somehow.
No kidding.
The two stood on the Garden's courtyard, waiting for Vaider and Odine to decide their course of action. Barely a hundred meters away, the Lunatic Pandora continued steadily on its course for destruction. Quistis was sure it was her imagination, but somehow the thing seemed to be even more massive and foreboding than before.
Keri glanced over her shoulder. Nida's coming, she observed.
Quistis turned around to see that Nida was indeed approaching them from the entrance, some sort of mechanical device in his hand. What's going on? she asked.
Odine wants to study the interaction between the Crystal Pillar and Odin's Gate, Nida said. Vaider wants to redirect the Lunatic Pandora back to Galbadia. Right now they're having an argument about whose property the thing is and whether Odine is in his rights to destroy the planet.
Quistis rolled her eyes. None of that matters. We have to stop the Lunatic Pandora, and quickly.
Yeah, I was thinking that too, Nida said dryly, giving her a look that passed too quickly for her to be able to identify. So I figured that while the scientists were having their fun we could go over ourselves and check out the place.
Quistis frowned. You want to just run off without telling anyone?
He gave her another look. Well, yeah. And...you know, save the planet and all that, too.
We're not really helping anyone just standing here and moping, Keri pointed out.
That's true, Quistis said, a bit hesitantly. Something about this seemed a bit odd. ...All right, let's go.
Hey, what's that thing? Keri asked, pointing at the device in Nida's hand.
He blinked, as if he had forgotten he was holding anything. Oh, this? It's probably some sort of scanner. Or maybe a flashlight. I found it in Vaider's office.