Disclaimers: Hey
Arnold!, Nickelodeon, and all related titles, characters, and merchandise
are trademarks of Viacom International. Snoopy and the whole Peanuts
Gang are trademarks of the United Feature Syndicate. .Akazukin Chacha
is owned by Ayahana Min, Copyright @ Shueisha and TV Tokyo/NAS. I'm
just a fan. A really BIG fan as you can see.
Author's Notes: Originally, this wasn't meant to be an actual fanfic, just an intro to my new site so this could get weird and confusing. Here's a little something to help clear some things up:1) My old site was named "The Pagoda to Helga G. Pataki." 2) Ophelia's Overlook is a feature on the site that shows all my favorite animated couples ie, Helga and Arnold 2) Not to be left out, I included myself in there and paired myself up with anime guys who I think are really cute. *lol*
It was just another ordinary day at the Pagoda to Helga G. Pataki; Quiet and uneventful. The reason for this being that the site's webmistress has not made any changes or additions for months. Helga explores her territory.
HELGA:
Man, sure has been real quiet around here. Wonder where that devoted
servant of mine has been all this time. She promised to fix this
place up a couple of months ago... Oh well, who cares? (pulls out
her locket) Arnold, my love! We're alone at last. Let me speak
to you of my most hidden desires, my love... (gets distracted by
classical piano music) Hey! What the heck is that racket? Has Jackie
been installing more of those dumb midi files she's so fond of again?
(Helga investigates and finds Schroeder on his piano. She stands
with her hands on her hips in front of the piano)
Hey! Are you the one making all that racket?!?!
SCHROEDER:
(barely looking up) It's
not a racket! It's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony!It's one of the greatest
musical accomplishments ever...
HELGA:
(makes "talk to the hand" gesture)
Blahblahblah! Who cares? Wait a minute! Who are you, and how'd
you get past security?!?!?
SCHROEDER: (blinks) Security?
HELGA:
Nevermind! Who are you and what are you doing here.
(mutters) Oh man, Jackie's been taking in strays again!
SCHROEDER:
(rolls eyes) Now that I've met this
girl, Lucy doesn't seem so bad anymore.
Lucy enters and rushes over to her usual place in front of the piano thereby displacing Helga from the spot.
LUCY:
(lying on the floor, leaning on the piano) I knew it!
I always knew you're crazy about me! Shall we plan our wedding
now?
SCHROEDER:
Oh good grief.
Schroeder swipes the piano away from under Helga's elbows so that she lands on the floor with a resounding *THUD* and then walks away to find a more quiet place to practice.
HELGA:
Oy vay! I'm getting a headache. I'm gonna get to the bottom
of this. (stands over Lucy who is still lying
flat on her back) Who are you people and who let you in?!?!
LUCY:
(not used to being talked to like this) I should ask you
the same question. I'm Lucy Van Pelt and I happen to live here!
HELGA:
*sputters* You...WHAT?!?!
LUCY:
(all smug and stuff) You heard
me.
HELGA:
(getting hysterical...of course, that's normal for Helga)
Explain!
LUCY: Well...
HELGA:
TODAY!!!
LUCY:
( taken aback) Good grief! Well,
a while back, there was this new patient at my Psychiatric booth...
HELGA:
Psychiatric booth? (shakes head)
Nevermind. Go on...
LUCY:
ANYWAY...there was this new patient and she's the one who
brought me here.
HELGA:
SHE? Wait a minute...what's the name of this patient?
LUCY:
I can't tell you that!
HELGA:
Why not?!?!
LUCY:
It's unethical. Patient and Doctor relations are confidential.
HELGA: Yeah, right. Criminey! Who has time for ethics? I'm trying to find out what you people are doing here and why you think you live here. There's obviously been some sort of a mistake... I got it! You don't have to tell me anything but if I guess correctly, you tell me, okay? Technically, you're not going back on any oaths you may have sworn when you took up your uh...profession, alright?
LUCY: I guess...
HELGA:
Great. Let's see...did this patient of yours by any chance, have
the attention span of a bug sprayed with insecticide and look as
if she hasn't slept at all since Christmas?
LUCY:
That's amazing! How'd you guess?
HELGA:
That's Jackie! That's my devoted flunky. She built this whole
place of worship for me! *laughs maniacally* And she's seeing a
head-shrinker. An amateur underqualified head-shrinker at that!
Hahahaha! I always knew that girl's a basket-case!
LUCY:
We don't say "basket-case."
HELGA:
Who cares? So tell me, Dr. Luce...what treatment did you prescribe?
*rubs palms together gleefully* 6 months of shock therapy perhaps?
How about hypnosis? And as long as she's in a state to take suggestions...why
not suggest that she gets a splitting headache everytime she's
late updating this thing?
LUCY:
(under her breath) I don't think she's the one who needs
to be zapped around here.
HELGA:
Of course, being nuts probably had something to do with why
Jackie built this place for me. Maybe once she goes sane, I'll
no longer be welcome here. Uh, give it to me straight, Doc...it's
incurable, right? There are no known treatments, no government-funded
researches?
Helga frantically grabs Lucy by the front of her dress
LUCY:
(more than just a little freaked out now) Uh, sure.
HELGA:
*whew!* Good. But I still don't know what YOU'RE doing here. I
got it! When you said "live" here...you probably didn't mean permanently.
There's gotta be a logical explanation for all this. I got it!
You and Piano Boy over there obviously have a thing for each other...
SCHROEDER'S VOICE:
(calling out from a different room) WE DO NOT!!!
Helga gives Lucy a questioning glance
LUCY:
We're getting married someday...
SCHROEDER'S VOICE:
NO WE'RE NOT !!!
HELGA:
(to self) Okay... Well, I know Jackie's
got a soft spot for really bizaare pairings...it isn't too far-fetched..plus,
if I'm right, then it really isn't so bad, maybe they're just here
on the main page because they got lost, the chuckleheads.
(to Lucy) Say, are you the newest featured couple on Ophelia's
Overlook?
Before Lucy could answer...Marin and Riiya appear from nowhere
MARIN:
OPHELIA'S OVERLOOK?!?! Oh! Riiya Darlin'! Riiya-kun! Ophelia's
Overlook? Have y'all seen it, Riiya-kun? It's such a darlin' place.
Why don't y'all take me on a date there? Then let's ask the person
in charge to make us one of the favorite couples. We'd make the
most adorable couple, and us being so IN LOVE...
RIIYA:
Get a grip, Marin. Sheesh!
MARIN:
Don't fight it, Sugah! It's bigger than the both of us.
Cha-Cha appears out of nowhere.
CHA-CHA:
WAAAH!!! Stop that! GRR!!! Marin! Stop hugging him!
MARIN:
Y'all stay out of this, Cha-Cha! Me and my darlin' are on
our way to Ophelia's Overlook, and we all know three is a crowd.
CHA-CHA:
HMPH! Let's just see about that! Riiya! Who are you taking to
Ophelia's Overlook? Me or Marin?
RIIYA:
Actually, I...
MARIN and CHA-CHA in unison:
WELL?!?! (Actually, Marin says something
more like, "WEYYL?")
RIIYA:
I'm in there already.
MARIN and CHA-CHA in unison:
HUH?!?! Well then, which one of us are you with?
RIIYA:
(big ol' sweatdrop) Actually...neither.
MARIN and CHA-CHA in unison:
WHAT?!?!
CHA-CHA:
How dare you, Riiya? Who is she?
MARIN:
Give it to me straight, Riiya-kun. Just how many of us have you
been stringing along, you masher?
Shiine and Orin-Chan/Suzu appear out of nowhere.
SHIINE: Calm down, you two. It's not what you think. We're all in there, even me!
ORIN-CHAN/SUZU:
They've got a great pic of Shiine-Chan in there! And I mean, KA-WA-I-I.
CHA-CHA:
Wow! And you two are together there?
ORIN-CHAN:
Um...no...
RIIYA:
If you're not with Orin-Chan/Suzu...(gets
mad) Why you...don't tell me you're with Cha-Cha, Shiine-Chan!
SHIINE:
(whacks Riiya) You dummy! I'm not
surprised you forgot already considering how stupid you are.
MARIN:
(whacks Shiine-Chan so hard he gets all
swirly-eyed) Don't whack my Riiya!
ORIN-CHAN/SUZU:
(cradling Shiine-Chan's head)
Oh! Shiine-Chan!
RIIYA:
Hey, Shiine-Chan! So who are you with in there, anyway?
SHIINE:
(snaps out of it) Oh yeah!
Riiya and I are both with...
MARIN AND CHA-CHA AND RIIYA
(he's got a really bad memory):
Yes...?
SHIINE:
Jackie, the Webmistress.
HELGA:
(who, amazingly enough, has stayed quiet and listened with Lucy
all this time) Oh here we go...
CHA-CHA:
Jackie, the Webmistress?
MARIN:
You know...that girl who took us here and left us...
RIIYA:
(a river of tears running down his cheeks) Without any
food.
CHA-CHA:
Why'd we agree to come here anyway?
RIIYA:
(still crying) Because she told us there's gonna be FOOD!
SHIINE:
Oh that's right. I remember she said we'll find PEANUTS here...I
haven't seen any peanuts around here so far.
(looks arond and sees Helga) Excuse me...have you seen
any peanuts around here?
HELGA:
(shrugs) I dunno...
(turns to Lucy) Hey, Doc...seen any peanuts around here?
LUCY:
No. Maybe that psycho Jackie just said there are peanuts here
to lure you out here because she has weird plans for you.
The other kids gasp and get scared
HELGA
(a little amused) Not so thrilled
to be living in here anymore, are you, Doc? By the way, you can
say "psycho"? Relax!. I've been here for 3 years now and I turned
out fine...
Lucy learns to sweatdrop
MARIN:
They're talking about that Jackie-girl, too. My my, Riiya-kun...you
dumped me for a real banana fritter... (looks
at Cha-Cha up and down) TWICE.
CHA-CHA:
(offended)
Hey! And Riiya couldn't dump you because you were never
together. So there! (sticks tongue out at Marin) Oh and by the
way, since she took BOTH Shiine and Riiya, then she couldn't be
serious about either right?
SHIINE:
Yeah, not to mention those other guys...
CHA-CHA:
WHAT? You mean the two of you aren't enough? Who else does
she have in there?
SHIINE and RIIYA:
(big sweatdrops) Ummm...
MARIN:
What? You mean it's someone we know?
SHIINE:
Among others.
CHA-CHA:
Like who?
SHIINE:
Uh...just people she thinks are cute. Teacher Rascal..
CHA-CHA, RIIYA, MARIN and SUZU:
TEACHER RASCAL?!?!?
SHIINE:
Yeah, and Teacher Bara-Bara Man...
CHA-CHA, RIIYA, MARIN and SUZU:
TEACHER BARA-BARA MAN?!?!?
SHIINE:
and Cula/Q-Chan, the Vampire...
CHA-CHA, RIIYA, MARIN and SUZU:
CULA/Q-CHAN, THE VAMPIRE?!?!? EEWWW!!!!
CHA-CHA:
Well, now I'm sure there's something wrong with her.
SHIINE:
There's quite a bit in there about Teacher Seravi, too!
CHA-CHA:
What? MY Teacher Seravi? She wants him for herself, too?!?!
SHIINE:
Well, actually, she said she likes the Dorothy-Seravi pairing
too much to interefere. She thinks they're "just too cute."
MARIN:
Why, that makes no sense at all! If that's all it took for
her to leave Seravi alone, then why is she still after my Riiya-kun?
I happen to think we make the cutest li'l ol' couple...Maybe that
Jackie just needs a little (punches her left
fist into right palm) "persuading."
CHA-CHA:
Well, apparently Jackie doesn't think so. That means she's still
sensible in some accounts. (to self)
Hey, wait a minute. Riiya and I aren't paired up in there, either.
What's she trying to say? Riiya and I aren't cute together? Grr!
I'd like to have a word with that Jackie...
SHIINE:
(to self also) Hmmm...it might be a little tasteless to ask Jackie
to pair me up with Cha-Cha considering I know she used to have
a thing for me (runs hand through hair in
true "gorgeous anime guy" fashion) ... Oh but that was a
long time ago and she's got someone else now. Or should I say "someones
else"? This could be the only way to convince Cha-Cha that we're
meant to be together...
ORIN-CHAN/SUZU:
I think Shiine and I make a pretty cute couple
.(starts blushing) What am I saying? What'll Shiine think
of me if he found out I'm thinking about these thise things? What
am I gonna do? Jackie liked Shiine, but that was a long time ago.
Maybe she'll help me out now...
CHA-CHA, MARIN, SHIINE and ORIN-CHAN/SUZU
in unison:
I THINK WE SHOULD ALL LOOK FOR JACKIE! (looks
at each other) I AGREE!
Helga and Lucy watch from the opposite side of the room with their arms folded.
HELGA:
Oh yeah. This ought to be good.
CHA-CHA:
I'll go first! (Raises arms) Appear
before me, WICKED WEBMISTRESS JACKIE!!!
Yakko appears out of nowhere.
CHA-CHA, SHIINE, MARIN, RIIYA and
ORIN-CHAN/SUZU in unison:
YAKKO-CHAN?!?!?!
SHIINE:
Wicked Webmistress Jackie...Wicked Witch Yakko-Chan...Hey,
Cha-Cha-san, your magic's definitely getting better. It does sound
alike!
YAKKO:
Hey, Shiine! I don't know what you're talking about but stop sucking
up to Cha-Cha. We all know her magic stinks! And Cha-Cha, I know
you didn't mean to bring me here so take me back. I was gathering
some herbs for potions I was gonna make!
MARIN:
Speaking of potions, Yakko dear. Maybe you can help us, we're
looking for someone, maybe you got something useful up your sleeve.
YAKKO:
No way! Why should I help any of you?
SHIINE:
The person we're looking for is a big Seravi-Dorothy fan.
YAKKO:
WHAT?!?! Where is she? I have something for her..
.(takes somthing out of her sleeve) Here it is...Yakko-Chan
Brand Extreme Agony Liquid Concentrate!
SHIINE: (panicking) No, wait Yakko-Chan! Put that away! You might drop it! I'm allergic to pain! Besides, I think all Jackie really needs is a good talking to. Maybe you have something in there that can help us find her.
YAKKO: Oh okay...I do have a summoning potion in here. (reaches into her sleeve and pulls out another flask) I need to test it anyway. Now who can tell me something about this person we're looking for?
EVERYBODY in unison: SHE'S CRAZY!!!
YAKKO: Okay, (throws the whole flask on the floor and the thing shatters...some liquid gets sprayed on Yakko) Come to me, crazy person! (everyone in the room fly towards Yakko and land on top of her) Hey! Get off me, all of you!!! (grumbles) I should've known that spell wouldn't work. I guess it only summons people who are close by. Or maybe I should've been more specific.
HELGA: (Trying to get off Yakko and back on her feet.) HEY! I don't know who or what you freaks are, or what you're doing here but leave me out of whatever it is you're doing, okay? It's bad enough that you're trespassing on my property but I can't do anything about that until I have a word with my flunky...
CHA-CHA: (all wobbly-eyed) She's scary, guys!
MARIN: Forget her. Yakko dear, try again. And this time try calling out a crazy, insomniac webmistress in-steyd. That'll work. (Grabs Yakko by the front of her dress.) Do this for me and I'll forget what your rude ol' potion did to li'l ol' me.
HELGA: Hey wait! Don't you know how many of those there actually are? If you summon those and all of them turned up this whole place would collapse under their weight!
YAKKO: I didn't even think of that. Wow...what a scary thought...good thing only you people fell on top of me.
RIIYA: Why don't you make some food appear?
YAKKO: You dummy! It can't make anything...it only finds things!
RIIYA: Well, she said there's peanuts here...
YAKKO: Well, alright. (Grabs another flask of the summoning potion) PEANUTS COME TO ME!!!
Yakko breaks the 2nd flask right in front of her again. Lucy starts to levitate and fly through the air landing on top of...who else? Yakko. Seconds later, Schroeder flies into the room with his piano and both land on top of Yakko and Lucy.
SCHROEDER: OW! Lucy! What did you do?
LUCY: Hey! This isn't my fault! That kid (points at Riiya) wished for peanuts and that other kid (points at Yakko) did something and the next thing I know I was flying across the room and so were you! I really don't understand much of what's happening.
YAKKO: Yeah, I don't get it either. Peanuts...these two kids...That wasn't even close. Stupid potion. I must have gotten the measurements wrong. Anyway... let's all just try to think about what we'll do.
HELGA: I've just about had enough of this. (takes out cellphone from somewhere under her clothes and dials a number. ) Hello, Grubworm? This is Mighty Falcon. Mighty Falcon! Phoebe! It's me, Helga.
PHOEBE VOICE OVER: Oh! Hey, Helga! What's up? Where are you?
HELGA: I'm here at Jackie's site. Do you know what she's done over here?
PHOEBE VOICE OVER: Umm...
HELGA: What?!?! You mean you know about these people in here?
PHOEBE VOICE OVER: Well, it seems that Jackie's chronic nostalgia's acting up again.
HELGA: IN ENGLISH!!!
PHOEBE: (sing-song voice) Translating! (normal voice)Basically, she's entering her 2nd childhood.
HELGA: That's strange...I didn't know she was over the first one. What brought this on?
PHOEBE: Nothing's for sure. Maybe it's because of her upcoming birthday. She turns 19 in about a month. Maybe her sister getting married had something to do with it. Personally, I think Jackie's just been listening to that "Return to Pooh Corner" song too many times.
HELGA: Really? Oh by the way...how'd you know about all this stuff?
PHOEBE: Internet. Anyway...those kids you're seeing in there are like some of her biggest things before she met us and started worshipping you. She's making space for them on this site.
HELGA: SHE WHAT?!?! SHE CAN'T DO THAT! THIS IS MY TURF!
PHOEBE: Sorry, Helga. But it's not really so bad, is it? I mean, it's not like there's no room, right? I mean, a 15MB webspace just for yourself certainly is too big...
HELGA: Are you saying I don't deserve that much webspace? Are you saying that I'm not important enough to have that much webspace for myself? Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
Everybody sweatdrops...even Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Um, no, Helga. But...
HELGA: BUT NOTHING! You know what? I'm sick of this. Jackie made this mess, I'm gonna make her sort this out...
PHOEBE: Helga! You wouldn't...
HELGA: Why not?
PHOEBE: Think of the rates...
HELGA: So what? My dad's the Beeper King... He's got a deal going with the Telecommunications people...he won't care...Goodbye, Phoebe.
Helga hangs up on Phoebe and dials a different number.
***
Split screen of the webpage and the real world. The real world shows Jackie banging her head against the wall in an attempt to fall asleep. Her cellphone starts ringing to the tune of "Real Slim Shady." She looks at it and sees it flashing an unfamiliar number with a weird area code. Reluctantly, she answers it.
JACKIE: Hello?
HELGA: (growls) Get up!
JACKIE: (Confused) Who is this?
HELGA: Who do you think? DOY!
JACKIE: (recognizing the expression) Helga...Pataki?
HELGA: HEY! Can you not comprehend the situation here? I'm paying you a personal call! You ought to be jumping up and down right now!
JACKIE: Sorry. (whispers to self) I must've banged my head too hard that last time. Oh well, at least I'm asleep and dreaming again.
HELGA: Nevermind. Look, Jackie. I want you to come here and personally explain to me what's going on here.
JACKIE: WHAT?!?! How do you expect me to do that, Helga? I...
HELGA: You're a basket-case. You're capable of anything. Now go!
Helga hangs up on Jackie
JACKIE: Oh alright. Anything's possible in a dream anyway.
Jackie starts up her computer and once she's connected tries to go through the monitor. Amazingly enough, it works. Soon she comes face to face with Helga and the rest of the characters on her site.
HELGA: I don't believe you, Jackie.
JACKIE: Oh what'd I do, now?
HELGA: Here in cyberspace, you can be anything you want, look like anybody you wish and you choose to look like some reject bit-player from South Park?!?!
LUCY: (whispers to Helga, but Jackie can hear it anyway) Big self-esteem problem. We're gonna deal with it next week...
Jackie sweatdrops for the first time. Helga sees it and glares at her.
HELGA: (to Jackie) HEY! What the heck was that?!?!
JACKIE: (frightened) What was what?
HELGA: You know what I mean! That thing that appeared at the back of your head! I saw it! Don't try to fool me. I know that you got that from (points at Cha-Cha and her friends) those weirdos!
JACKIE: (laughs) Sorry. It's pretty contagious. (starts to relax) Wow. I can't believe it! I'm really here! (looks around) Hey is that Shiine and Riiya? KEE-YEWT! (turns to Helga and Lucy and smooths down her clothes and hair) Quick! how do I look?
LUCY: Funny....
HELGA: Balding...
JACKIE: Very funny. (produces a mirror from thin air and checks herself out. (*hey! she's the webmistress! she has powers here*) Oh no it's true! I don't normally look like this you know...
HELGA: (smirks) Sure you don't...
JACKIE: I can't let them see me like this! Quick! Hide me!
Jackie ducks behind Helga and Lucy but it was too late. The Akazukin Cha-Cha gang spots Jackie and move towards her. Cha-Cha and Jackie end up playing hide and seek. Finally Cha-Cha catches her.
CHA-CHA: I SEE YA!
JACKIE: Oh alright. You got me. Hi everybody! (flashes everyone a big smile but stops when she sees that Cha-Cha, Yakko, Marin and Riiya are glaring at her.) Uh, what's wrong?
HELGA: (whispers to Jackie smugly) Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you...they're not very fond of you right now.
JACKIE: (puzzled) Uh, is there a problem, guys?
MARIN: Why yes! (looks menacingly at Jackie) Yours, as a matter of fact. Explain you and Riiya on Ophelia's Overlook.
JACKIE: Oh that! Well (nervous laugh) that was just a joke. I was just emphasizing how cute Riiya was but I really wouldn't dream of interfering between you and Ri...(notices Cha-Cha's face turning red) er...I mean, it's really up to Riiya who he wants to be with but trust me... whoever she is, I won't interfere between them. (this answer made Cha-Cha and Marin turn their attention to Riiya.)
RIIYA: (realizes he's been put on the spot) Oh thanks a lot, Jackie. It's bad enough that you lied about the food...
JACKIE: (getting confused again) What food?
RIIYA: Don't play dumb with me, you know I'll win.
SHIINE: Yeah, Jackie. No one's better at being dumb than Riiya... (WHACK! Riiya knocks Shiine out cold.)
RIIYA: Anyway, you know what food I'm talking about. You told me when you first brought us here that we'd find some Peanuts!
JACKIE: Peanuts? (looks confused for a sec but remembers Lucy) Oh, I'm sorry... I guess we had a misunderstanding. I'll give you some food later, okay? (Riiya appears to be satisfied.) So...who else has a problem here?
MARIN and CHA-CHA in unson: You're really not after Riiya?
JACKIE: Of course not! Everybody knows I prefer Shii--(sees Orin-Chan/Suzu unsheath her samurai sword a little and starts to sweatdrop again) uh...more mature guys. Shiine and Riiya are way too young for me now, that's illegal here, y'know.
Yakko grabs Jackie
YAKKO: Prince Seravi's a mature guy. You after him now?"
JACKIE: Of course not, Yakko! He's not my type!
YAKKO: So you're just gonna leave him and Dorothy alone? How come SHE'S with Prince Seravi in that Ophelia's Overlook feature of yours and not ME?
JACKIE: (turns pale) Uh, well... (thinks for awhile) Well you see, Yakko, this world is different from yours. Seravi's... how much older than you?
YAKKO: Uh...
JACKIE: Exactly! And you're still so young...you don't want Seravi to get arrested now, do you?
YAKKO: Of course not! But...
JACKIE: (really confident now) Trust me, Yakko dear. In this world, it's best that you keep your love affair with Seravi until you become an adult...Yakko?
Yakko is no longer listening. She is off on another one of her daydreams
YAKKO: (mostly to herself with one hand touching her cheek) Oh Prince Seravi...You and me...Secret lovers! Oh but how can they expect me to hide such a brightly burning flame? Oh but to protect my darling Seravi, I shall do it Aww...
Jackie breathes a sigh of relief.
HELGA: (pats Jackie on the back) Man! I like how you handled those kids. You're a lot sneakier than I gave you credit for.
JACKIE: (smiles at Helga) Hey! I learned from the best, didn't I?
HELGA: Yeah, well, you're not quite done with me just yet.
JACKIE: Okay, what's up with you?
HELGA: Explain (points to other characters) them.
JACKIE: Okay... Lucy and Schroeder are from my favorite comic strip... those kids are from my favorite anime... and then there's you.
HELGA: That doesn't explain what they're doing here in MY site.
JACKIE: Well...I asked them to stay and they said yes.
HELGA: No.
JACKIE: What do you mean, no?
HELGA: I mean, I don't want to share MY site.
JACKIE: Actually, Helga...it's MY site.
HELGA: Details, details. Just get them out of here.
JACKIE: Come on, Helga...it's not like you actually need ALL 15 megs...
HELGA: It's not a question of webspace. It's a matter of principle
JACKIE: But Helga...you have none of that!
HELGA: Very funny...
CHA-CHA: Hey! We have a say in this, too! Who said we even want to be in your site?
RIIYA: Yeah, considering you only got us here under false pretenses...
HELGA: (surprised that Riiya actually sounded intelligent) That was the same dumb kid I met a while ago?
SHIINE: He takes food pretty seriously.
JACKIE: Oh I forgot! (produces a big bowl of ramen and putting it down on the floor) Here, Riiya. Knock yourself out.
RIIYA: Alright! This place rocks! I'm never gonna leave!
Riiya transforms into a wolf cub and eats out of the bowl, his tail wagging happily.
MARIN: Well, wherever my Riiya is...so shall I be..(Marin notices Riiya-as-wolfcub. She kicks it, sending it flying through the air) Hey! HOW DARE YOU LET THIS MANGY DOG EAT MY DARLING'S FOOD?!?!
Marin picks up bowl and runs away with it. Riiya-as-wolf chases after her.
JACKIE: Geez...it's crazy in here!
HELGA: The fruit never falls far from the tree. But that's just 2 of the characters.
JACKIE: Obviously, you know nothing about these kids. If Riiya and Marin stays...Cha-Cha's not gonna leave them alone. She'll be staying, too. And if Cha-Cha stays, then Shiine will, too, so that means Orin-Chan/Suzu will stay, too. With Cha-Cha in here, you can bet her guardian, Seravi will check on her from time to time...that means, so will Yakko and all the girls with a thing for Seravi. Pretty soon, the rest of the gang will end up here.
HELGA: Gah! You mean there's more of them?
LUCY: What about us? There's nothing you can say that would make me want to stay now that would make me want to stay.
JACKIE: (smug) You'll stay if Schroeder does, right?
LUCY: (surprised) Schroeder agreed to stay here? How'd you get him to do that?
JACKIE: Easy. Promised him a concert page. It's a shame you won't be there to give him moral support, though.
LUCY: Hey! I didn't say I was leaving...maybe I'll stay around long enough to see how your site turns out.
Jackie gloats in Helga's direction.
SHIINE: (taps Jackie) Jackie, what about me? What'll you offer me for staying?
JACKIE: (deciding to humor Shiine) Well, you've got the starring role in 2 of the fanfics I'm working on right now...
SHIINE: (overly enthusiastic) Okay, cool! I'll start unpacking right now! Where's my room? (runs around the site to parts unknown)
JACKIE: (sighs) What a sweetheart. (feels something tugging at her shirt. looks down and sees Orin-Chan/Suzu) What is it, Orin-Chan?
ORIN-CHAN/SUZU: (blushing) Am I in any of your (read: Shiine's) fanfics?
JACKIE: Oh yeah, you play a very important role in one of them.
ORIN-CHAN/SUZU: (jumps) YAY! (turns red)
JACKIE: (hugs the baby ninja) You are so keyeewwt!!!!
ORIN-CHAN/SUZU: (unsheaths samurai) NEVER PATRONIZE A NINJA!
JACKIE: (backs off) Got it!
HELGA: Forget it, Jackie! I'm not sharing the site with any of them!
JACKIE: Oh come on, Helga...once the pages are all set up, you'll be separated from each other. You won't even have to see each other after this.
HELGA: Oh alright. I suppose it's no longer called the Pagoda to Helga G. Pataki.
JACKIE: Sorry, Helga.
HELGA: So, what's it called now?
JACKIE: It's called: LOVE and
CHEESE, PEANUTS, and FRIENDS!
HELGA: LOVE AND CHEESE, PEANUTS, and FRIENDS? (makes face) Why?
JACKIE: Well, "LOVE and CHEESE" refers to your turf. I got it from the episode of the same name.
HELGA: As I recall, that episode didn't work out too well for me.
JACKIE: Really? I haven't seen it. Anyway..."PEANUTS" is for Lucy's gang; "AND FRIENDS"...well, to broaden the possiblities. So if I wanna include more stuff someday, then I can because there are no restrictions like with...uh...
HELGA: Say it.
JACKIE: (hurriedly) With the old site. (shields her head with arms) DON'T HIT ME!
HELGA: Don't worry. Alright. I'm convinced.
JACKIE: (unsure) Really?
HELGA: Sure. Who knows? Maybe it'll get more traffic to MY site. You haven't been doing a very good job of promoting it lately, y'know?
Jackie sweatdrops
HELGA: And stop doing that! It looks stupid. Save it for when you're alone with them. By the way, I noticed I'm the only one here from my group. Where's the rest of the gang? Where's the Footballhead? Y'know...not that I really care or anything.
JACKIE: Yeah...okay. Whatever. Arnold's supposed to be around here somewhere. (turns to rest of the characters) Hey! Has any of you seen a football-headed kid anywhere?
Snoopy shows up and dances around Helga and Jackie
JACKIE: I think Snoopy's trying to tell us that he has. Where is he, Snoopy?
Snoopy points to Charlie Brown, who has appeared, like everybody else, out of nowhere.
Jackie explains to Snoopy the difference between football-headed kid and round-headed kid...
Helga sweatdrops.
THE END!
Hope you liked the story guys! Stay tuned for the opening of the brand new site:
LOVE and CHEESE, PEANUTS, and FRIENDS!
(it's all one ever really needs!)
http://www.geocities.com/sweetieplum