DRAMATIC REENACTMENT:
//(Schu is lying in bed, wearing a mini skirt, red knees highs and his hair up in pigtails. He keeps anxiously checking his watch)
Schu: Where *is* he? He's…*counts on his fingers for about 20 minutes* 32 seconds late!
(suddenly someone kicks the window in and Yohji slides in*
Yohji: Sorry I'm late, I had to chain Ken in his room…he's been acting way too frisky around those kids lately…
Schu: *pales* I didn't need to know that…
Yohji: But anyway, I'm here! *grins and starts taking off his shirt all slow and sexy-like*
Schu: *raises his eyebrows and sits up, watching*
(out of nowhere, the lights turn off and a disco ball drops from the ceiling. Hot Chocolate starts playing and Yohji is getting his groove on, all John Travolta style)
Yohji: 'I believe in miracles, where ya from, you sexy thang, you sexy thang-'
Schu: *blinks then nods* Yes, Yohji, that's very sexy…*grumbles* But um, could we just skip this part…I'm getting nauseous…//
Siko: *falls all over herself, laughing*
Mary: What?! I'm a good dancer!
Siko: Likely…
//(2 hours and 5 jars of peanut butter later…)
Schu: *yawns all kawaii-like(fangirls: awwwww!!!!)*
Yohji: *smoking a cigarette* So, where's that…guy…?
Schu: What guy?
Yohji: You know, stick up his ass, he's got the evil glowing glasses, you're screwing him on the side…//
Crawford: WHAT?!
Schu: It was meant in a *good* way, Bradley!
Crawford: *twitches*
//Schu: Um, he went to this big important building thing…you know, where that…guy…I work for is…he looks like a roast chicken, you know?
Yohji: Um, Takatori Reiji?
Aya: *from somewhere* Takatori…shi-NE!
Omi: Wait, Aya-kun, that was my moldy bread for my biology project!
Schu: Yeah, that's his name!
Yohji: *shudders*
(sound of the front door opening)
Crawford: Schuldiiiiiig, I'm hoooooommmmme!
Schu: Aw, crap. Yohji, I'm going to have to ask you to get the hell out.
Yohji: Nani?! How am I supposed to get out, he's out there!
Schu: The window, duh…
(sound of footsteps walking down the hall towards the room)
Schu: *whispering* Never mind, just hide!
Yohji: *looks around, panicked, then dives into the closet. At that moment, Crawford walks into the room*
Crawford: Where's my dinner, woman?!
Schu: What the hell are you talking about?
Crawford: …nevermind. *takes off his coat and opens the closet to hang it up*
Yohji: *eyes wide*
Crawford: *fails to notice a naked man wearing sunglasses with a cigarette dangling from his mouth standing in the closet and throws his coat in*
Yohji: *grabs it and hangs it up*
Crawford: *slowly stops and sniffs the air* I know that smell…
Schu: *gulps*
Crawford: …have you been playing with the peanut butter again?
Schu: *sighs in relief*
Crawford: *sniffs the air again* Wait, a minute, I definitely know this smell…it's…MAN FLESH!
Schu: Ack! No it's not!
Crawford: …wait, that was just roast chicken-I mean Mister Takator-wait, yeah, roast chicken. *yawns* Well, I'm going to bed…
Yohji: /Crap…/
Crawford: …but first I'm going to go eat some salami! *walks out*
Yohji: /Phew…/
Schu: *gets up and throws open the closet door* Hurry your ass up, he'll be back soon!
Yohji: Yeah, I'm going I'm going! *putting his shoes on*
Schu: Uh, aren't you going to put any of your other clothes on?
Yohji: Eh. *lights up another cigarette and starts to slide out the window…only to find that the author has made the window so conveniently shrink* What the hell?!
Schu: Damn, I didn't know peanut butter was so fattening.
Yohji: *shrugs* Looks like I'll have to go out the front door.
Schu: If you get caught, I don't know you.
Yohji: *pouts, then saunters out, down the hall*
(Farfello is sitting next to Nagi who is using his telekinesis to play his Playstation. He hears a noise and turns to see a naked man wearing shoes, sunglasses and smoking a cigarette strut past)
Farfello: That was even too disturbing for me.
Nagi: *hears the sound of the refrigerator open downstairs and grins, grabbing his camcorder* This is it! I'll finally catch him in the act!//
Nagi: How the hell did you know I said that if you weren't in the room?
Mary: …I'm magical.
Nagi: *raises an eyebrow*
//Yohji: (peeks into the kitchen to see Crawford crouched in front of the refrigerator, eying a can of whipped cream)
Crawford: Well, it is Schu's…it would be wrong to eat it for purposes other than his…*grins* but it just looks so creamy…*drools, then makes a mad grab for the can*
(Nagi walks past with his camcorder, not noticing Yohji, followed by Farfello, who pretty much runs away from him-//
Mary: And then I made my sleek, cat-like escape…*grins*
Siko: So, Crawford, what do you have to say for yourself? …even though we could have come to this conclusion in the first chapter.
Crawford: *glares* I hate this…
Nagi: Yeah, this lame.
Farfello: *yawns and stretches*
Schu: *tries to gnaw his way out of the net*
(Aya suddenly bursts onto the set, looking pissed)
Mary: Um, hey, cuddlebug…
Aya: You've been cheating on me with *that*?! *points at Schu*
Schu: Well, excuse me for breathing…
Crawford: *looks at Schu* I can't believe you were going behind my back with that-that *thing*!
Yohji: Oh, that's it! *throws his chair at Crawford*
Crawford: *jumps up and throws himself at Yohji* You *bleeping* *bleep**bleeping**bleeper**bleeping**bleep*!
Siko and Eiko-chan: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!
(Steve comes out of nowhere and pulls then apart*
Nagi: Alright, I'm gonna go find Omi so we can like, go to the zoo…yeah…*walks away*
Farfello: All this god-hurting has made me tired…I'm going back to my nice cozy straight jacket…*walks away*
Aya: *looks at Siko and Eiko-chan* Buy something or get out. *walks away*
Siko: Well, uh, there you have it: who shot J.R.-
Eiko-chan: -who stole Schu's whipped cream!
Siko: And now that this oh-so-puzzling mystery has been solved, it's time to say goodnight to all our viewers…
Eiko-chan: *smiles* Oyasumi nasai!
Siko: Ja! *set goes black, sound of footsteps and the opening and closing of a door. The only sound left is that of the net swinging back and forth*
Schu: Um, hello? Hello, is anyone there? Crawford? Yohji? Nagi? Farfie? …anyone? I'm scared of the dark…
O.o ~*Owari*~
Let me know what you thought about this piece of babbling!