A Rose's Thorn

A/N : Hi! Thanks again for the reviews; they truly keep me interested and inspired in this project. Well, happy spring break! I might, actually, get a few chapters done this week. *smiles* So, I've given a lot of thought to this chapter. There are several things I want to get accomplished with this one, yet at the same time, I don't want to rush the story along. We'll see how it goes, hm? =)



Chapter 3 : Lost and Jaded

"This is over my head but underneath my feet

Because by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat

And everything will be back to the way it was

I wish that it was just that easy

I'm waiting for tonight then waiting for tomorrow

And I am somewhere in between

What is real and just a dream."

~Lifehouse : Somewhere in between





After exhaling a deep breath, Qui-Gon Jinn's haunting green orbs gazed around at the surrealistic view of the Couresant skyline. From the landing platform, it seemed as though he could see every structure in the planetary city. He shifted his gaze from the skyline to the sky itself. The sun was beginning to lazily stretch and reach into the dawn, discarding his velvet blanket of night. A hint of a breeze gently touched Qui-Gon's face and brushed through his long, dusty brown locks as the doors to the jedi temple were opened behind him.

"Good morning, Masters," Qui-Gon murmured without turning around to offer any sort of further acknowledgment to his peers.

"Where is your padawan, Master Jinn?" Mace Windu inquired.

The weary master closed his eyes for a moment and reached through the bond he shared with his young padawan. After a moment, he opened his eyes and simply stated, "He's still in the gardens. He felt the need to meditate in order to regain his focus about the mission."

"Concerned, you appear not," the astute green troll said as he moved to stand beside the much taller master. "Strange, I find this."

"And why is that? My padawan often needs to meditate before serious missions. There is nothing abnormal about that," Qui-Gon stated with a hint of annoyance.

"Qui-Gon," Mace began, lowering his tone slightly, "there is something young Obi-Wan was hiding from me last night. I visited him during his meditation. He was caught completely off-guard; we both know how highly unusual that is for him. When I discussed the mission with him, he continued to keep something hidden."

"He often feels weak by his insecurities," Qui-Gon said with a slight shrug of his broad shoulders. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"So sure, are you? Know the cause for your padawan's sudden... 'insecurities'?" Yoda inquired.

Qui-Gon released a sigh of pure annoyance, "If you don't know, then how do you expect me to know? I do not appreciate this inquisition before I depart for such a mission."

"Expect you to know, we do, because his master you are. Nothing means your appreciation of our actions when appreciation you have not for your padawan. Amazed, we are, that you call him yours. Amazed more, are we, that Obi-Wan allows you to," Yoda said with a slight shake of his green head.

A retort was about to be fired viciously from Qui-Gon's rebellious spirit, but Mace quickly stepped in to quell the foreseen fight, "Qui-Gon, there is an unusual amount of anger dwelling in your padawan. Obi-Wan has never been the sort to keep anger, and he certainly would never hide it. Something caused this sudden change in him."

"Anger?" Qui-Gon inquired softly as a sudden twinge of concern filled him.

"Yes, Qui-Gon, pure anger. Fear is usually the path to anger, and anger leads into hatred. We can not risk losing him to the dark side. What caused fear to fill Obi-Wan in order to lead him to this state?" Mace continued.

The weary master was eerily silent for a few moments. "Fear of many things, I suppose," Qui-Gon murmured. "Fear of failure. Fear of defiance. Fear of rebellion. Fear of becoming like his master..."

Qui-Gon released another sigh and allowed his green orbs another view into the surreal city. He caused his padawan pain, but didn't he realize that all along? Why had concern filled him now when his padawan had cried out to him through their bond constantly? Why was it in the silence after an inquiry that he suddenly felt the guilt from his previous actions? But did it matter? He had lost count of how many times such an inquiry and such a guilt had appeared, and each time he pieced back together the fragile puzzle that existed between him and his padawan. But, after a few days - if it lasted that long - the puzzle was ripped apart, and the sick cycle began all over again.

But anger from Obi-Wan had never before been a factor. There were often hints of fear and guilt, but never had it lead to anger. Surely Obi-Wan knew better than to give in to the anger, or had Qui-Gon taught him nothing? Somewhere, deep down in the abyss of Qui-Gon's cold heart, he knew how amazing his padawan was. Little things reminded him constantly of how precious Obi-Wan was - when he stepped into a room, a certain sparkle danced in everyone's eyes; when he spoke, everyone hung upon his every word; when he left, a certain piece of everyone's heart would break. Perhaps, somehow, Qui-Gon was envious of Obi-Wan; envious because no one had ever accepted him or Xanatos in that same way.

To feel envious toward his padawan was worse than anything, for from envy sprung his constant temper fits which lead to mistreatment of such a beautiful padawan. Secretly he wished Obi-Wan had been given the opportunity to have another master, for he deserved better. Qui-Gon didn't need any sort of introspective meditation to conclude how scrambled and jaded his emotions were inside; despite the splendor that was Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon found himself incapable of love. He was thoroughly convinced he was nothing but a failure; if Obi-Wan could become a jedi, at least Qui-Gon would have done one thing right, but even then, Obi-Wan could end up being permanently scarred from his horrid excuse for a master.

"A failure you are not," Yoda said gently, as he placed a clawed hand against Qui-Gon's arm reassuringly. "Accept your faults you do, but correct them you do not. In order to mend his heart, mend yours you must."

"Master Yoda," Qui-Gon replied, "mine is beyond repair."

"Until you allow yourself to heal, destroy Obi-Wan, you will," Yoda stated.

The debate could have continued for days, weeks perhaps, but suddenly all became silent between the inquiring pair and weary jedi for the source of their debate was strolling through the doors of the jedi temple. A look often held by that of a lost child in search of his parent and confidence was wearily tossed by the waves in Obi-Wan sea-change orbs.

"Good morning, Masters," Obi-Wan's soft, accent-filled tone stated as he gave the usual and expected bow to the three standing before him. He turned his gaze strictly to his master and said, "I'm sorry if I'm late, Master. I started to meditate and lost track of time."

"You're forgiven, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, "but, how did you lose track of time? You never have that problem."

"I.. I don't know, Master. I think, perhaps, I was a little too tired. Master Windu told me to get my rest last night, but I continued my meditation in our quarters," Obi-Wan murmured.

"You can sleep on our way to Hoth, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, then he turned his attention to the other masters present. "If you'll excuse us, Masters, I believe we've kept them waiting long enough."

"Of course, you must go. Padawan Kenobi, please try to rest; you mustn't push yourself so. Remember what I told you last night. Master Jinn, do look after your padawan," Mace stated.

"And may the Force be with you," Yoda added.

"Yes, Masters," the star-crossed pair stated together as they bowed and began the walk toward the ship.

"Danger lies ahead," Yoda murmured. "If healing does not take place, in control darkness will be."

~*~

Upon stepping inside the 'Eternal Darkness', the star-crossed master and padawan realized the true reality of the ship's name. Although spacious, light was sparse within the ship. It was dimly lit, enough to where the ship's interior could be seen, yet dark enough to protect the fragile creatures of Hoth. Barriers that appeared to be soft, blue, electric currents bounced in the doorways. Qui-Gon squinted and peered through one; his gaze was met by Ambassador Wespero's chuckle and a motion to step through. With a nod, Qui-Gon stepped through the blue wall to be met by a surprising burst of heat as he reached the other side. Obi-Wan followed his master's lead and was instantly amazed by the ship's technology.

"Forgive the darkness, but this is the only way we're able to travel without being covered in layers of cloaks," Wespero said with more noticeable hints of an accent available since his tone wasn't as soft and polite. Although still mostly covered in black attire, his face was finally visible. Soft, onyx locks hinted by sapphire throughout adorned his head with a few sections of his tresses kissing his eyebrows. His skin appeared to be like marble - mostly a milky shade of white accented by swirls of pale blue. His lips also held a faint tint of blue.

"Could you explain this light sensitivity? Our jedi weapons consist of a bright light, and I'm worried we could cause a problem," Qui-Gon stated.

"Only intense amounts of light burn us. We are able to have dim lamps, candle light, and laser-powered light. You see, our kingdom exists on what we usually call the dark side of Hoth. The majority of the year is spent in total darkness with the exception of moonlight, but there is about a week or two when we receive direct sunlight. We live underground to protect ourselves from the light and cold. Since we exist in darkness, light burns us horribly," Wespero explained.

"Wes, Kieran says we're about to lift-off," stated the familiar, fear-accented voice of Vera as she slowly stepped beside Wespero. Long curls with the same sapphire-tinted, black hue as Wespero's cascaded to the middle of her back. Although Wespero was nearly a foot taller than Vera, they both held the same mysteriously demanding gaze that could not be ignored or resisted. "Greetings Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi."

Before proper salutations could commence, the inside of the 'Eternal Darkness' was suddenly filled with intensely bright light. It appeared that every light upon the ship had been turned on at once. Vera suddenly cried as she endured the agony of the burning sensation the light caused.

"Sister!" Wespero yelled as he quickly wrapped his arms around the smaller woman and covered her as best he could, "Kieran! What the hell happened?!"

The star-crossed master and padawan quickly moved their hands and willed the lights to extinguish their sudden radiance. Vera, although trembling, breathed a sigh of relief. Large, jagged, black marks appeared on Wespero's otherwise flawless, marble-like skin. Vera nervously ran a hand against her brother's cheek to which he flinched slightly.

"Brother, I'm so sorry... You were hurt because of me," Vera whispered.

"No, I was hurt because of that damned, irresponsible imbecile that's flying the ship," Wespero growled as he suddenly stormed toward the cockpit.

Vera slowly sat down in one of the leather-covered seats and motioned for the jedi pair to do so as well. "I sense your worries, and I'm very grateful for it. But, I assure you, it's not necessary. I'm alright, I promise, and my brother will be alright too. Thank you for using your jedi magic to turn the lights out for us."

"How did you sense our worry?" Obi-Wan inquired.

Suddenly the star-crossed pair heard Vera's voice in their head on a wavelength similar to their bond, yet different somehow, "Did you think jedi were the only ones capable of such a feat?" She grinned slightly.

"How did you.." Obi-Wan breathed in pure astonishment.

"They're Force-sensitive, Padawan, just like us, but to a different degree," Qui-Gon stated as he tried to focus his thoughts although just as perplexed as Obi-Wan.



~*~



"Kieran, what the hell happened?" Wespero growled.

"Accident," Kieran replied nonchalantly. "I started up the engines, and the buttons controlling the lights began to flicker as though there was a malfunction. I hit the button in order to correct the error, and the lights all turned on. But, thanks to your jedi friends, I believe we don't have to worry with that anymore."

"We better not have to worry with it anymore. If anything else happens-" Wespero started.

"Don't worry, 'Ambassador', it's just fine. Nothing else will malfunction; I'm sure of it." Kieran purred.

Wespero stormed out of the cockpit, and Kieran grinned a grin similar to that possessed by the Cheshire Cat. He touched a gloved finger to another button, and a small square appeared in the viewscreen. A beautiful, jewel-adorned woman appeared within that square.

"Did they enjoy their little sneak preview to the main event?" the woman inquired.

"Yes, your majesty. I think they had a splendid time," Kieran replied.

"Delightful. Quyah will escort them into the throne room when you arrive. I will see you later, my dear," the woman purred.

"As you wish, your majesty," Kieran replied with a smirk as he clicked the button again causing the square to vanish.

~*~

"We aren't able to use your Force in the same manner," Wespero explained, sitting beside his sister. "We have a strong sensitivity to emotional and mental states, which is how we've learned to speak telepathically. However, we don't have the power of the Jedi; we merely sense emotions."

"There are some though, who are filled with evil and manipulate emotions," Vera added.

"We suspect Queen Umbria of being one of those individuals. We also believe she used her manipulations on the previous group of jedi," Wespero stated.

"But, how could manipulations cause four jedi to mysteriously vanish? There must be something more to it than that," Qui-Gon said.

"Exactly," Wespero said with a slight nod of his head. "That's another reason why were in need of jedi assistance specifically. We are unable to read her mental state, and therefore, we don't know what to expect next from her."

"Does your queen know we're coming?" Qui-Gon asked.

"No, not exactly," Vera whispered.

"So you went behind your queen's back just because of a slight suspicion? You defied your queen-" Qui-Gon started.

"They had no choice," Obi-Wan jumped in, suddenly wanting to protect the fragile pair. "They've done nothing wrong."

"Just like you, hm?" Qui-Gon inquired, giving their bond that familiar sudden, sharp tug and a slight glare.

After sensing the conflicting emotional states between the star-crossed pair, Wespero quickly suggested, "Obi-Wan, would you like to see the rest of the ship? I sense you have a little curiosity toward it."

Obi-Wan nodded and quickly followed Wespero through the energy-door. After a few minutes of awkward silence passed, Vera slowly stood and crossed the small space. She sat beside Qui-Gon and stared at him for a few moments.

"Yes?" he inquired, slightly disturbed yet intrigued at the same time by the strange girl.

"Pain stirs in your soul," Vera stated simply.

"You know, it's quite fascinating how Force-sensitive you are," Qui-Gon said, casually attempting to change the subject. "If Hoth was located in the Republic, I'm sure you would have been trained at the temple."

"Pain stirs in your soul," Vera repeated.

Qui-Gon sighed and ran a slightly calloused hand through his locks, "Well, yes, it does. And what else do you sense?"

"Why won't you release it?" she inquired.

"Well, little one, that's a complicated subject," Qui-Gon replied.

"Only because you make it so. Let the past remain in the past where it belongs. Let the future remain in the future where it belongs. Exist only in the present; that will begin to ease the pain. You relive too many events and replay too many foreseen events. You tell Padawan Kenobi to focus on the here-and-now, yet you do not," she said.

"You see things too well, young one," Qui-Gon murmured.

"You could see the very same things, but you're blinded by the past. The only way you know to release that built-up pain is to try to direct it at Padawan Kenobi. Just because you won't love anymore doesn't mean he will stop, and that, Master Jinn, is what hurts you so. It's the fact that you were hurt and can't love, yet you hurt him constantly yet he still loves," Vera said softly.

The weary jedi didn't reply, for he was too lost in his own thoughts. Vera's comments twisted inside him like a thousand swords. Truth hung upon each word she spoke which forced the swords to cut his heart even more deeply.

"Master Jinn, he isn't a thorn in your side," her voice echoed softly through his thoughts as she tried to establish a bond. "You are the thorn in his side."