Silent Heartbeats 14: Bittersweet Memories
By Maureen
Standard disclaimers apply. Some bad language. This is how most (but not all) guys in college speak.
***
Alex and John arrived home an hour after Jamie had, both frustrated and wanting a beer to help de-stress them. While Alex was not a heavy drinker by any definition, he did occasionally like to unwind with a cold one and since he had taken Jamie in he had certainly felt the call of alcohol more than normal. This would be the first time he had heeded it though.
"He's upstairs," Lilly said from the couch. She sat in the darkened living room, surprising her husband and Alex. "The cops brought him home an hour ago."
"The cops?" John echoed dully.
"I'll deal with him, John. It's not like we're not completely blameless either." Alex pointed out, heading upstairs.
"Don't wake up the baby!" she called after Alex. He ignored her. "John, I don't like this kid."
"You didn't like him from the moment he walked in the door, Lilly. Why?"
"He's a juvenile delinquent, John!" Lilly defended herself.
"There's more to it than that, honey. You were never hated somebody on sight like this before."
"I'm not comfortable with people with disabilities, okay? What if there's a fire and he doesn't wake up? And he's a punk. What if he steals the good china?" Lilly tried to verbalize her concerns, unsure exactly what was disturbing her so. "You should have told me!"
"I asked if it was alright for them to come stay with us, remember? And I told you he was deaf."
"You didn't say he was a poster child for the juvie system!"
John sighed. "I didn't know he was a punk, okay? But Alex said he was a good kid and I trust him. If Alex says he's good then appearance or not, I'm going to take his word on it. Besides, I've had a lot of weirder looking kids in my classes. Had a guy one year who wore bondage gear to class almost every day."
"I don't like this," Lilly looked down, ashamed of her behavior. Until this point she had prided herself on being open-minded, but never before had she been forced to try to understand a person who was not an Abercrombie prep, someone not from an upper-middle class background.
***
Alex slowly opened the door to the room Jamie was sharing with Sarah. Since Sarah was already asleep, Jamie had simply taken off his shoes and laid down as well. Now he was fast asleep, oblivious to Alex in the doorway or the conversation taking place downstairs.
Alex watched the steady rise and fall of Jamie's chest as he slept, still clothed in his jeans and t-shirt. Shaking his head, he closed the door. Now he had at least a few hours to figure out what to do before Jamie woke up.
Alex headed back down, intending to sleep himself. When he reached the living room, he saw that the Constantine's were still talking, he didn't want to interrupt but he didn't know where else to go.
"Alex, don't go," John called softly, "Lilly is worried that Jamie will...well, she wants to know more about him."
"Your afraid he'll take the good china?" Alex asked, guessing at what had Lilly so worried.
She nodded, not meeting the older mans' eyes.
"He won't. He's a good kid, Lilly. Sure, he dresses differently, but that's not a bad thing. He's an individual. I worked with him for several months before I took him in, no matter what was thrown at him, and he's had quite a bit thrown at him during his life, he took it and rose above it. He just needs someone to love him unconditionally and be there for him. That's what I'm doing, okay?"
Lilly only nodded again, "Has he been in trouble before?" While they spoke, John slipped away, letting them have their privacy.
Alex thought for a moment, trying to decide if he should tell the truth or not. The truth won out. "Yeah, he's been in trouble before. He was on probation until earlier this week. But look at where he's coming from; his father is an alcoholic who couldn't keep a job if his life depended on it, he abused both of his sons, he was barely passing in school, he had nothing. He was put on probation for taking some guitar picks, not armed robbery. I'm surprised he's turned out as well as he has, actually. In three months his grades have gone from D's to A's and B's. He has friends, a girlfriend. The changes are day and night. This chip on his shoulder is nearly gone."
"You love him," Lilly didn't ask a question, she made it a statement.
"Yeah, I do. I became a doctor to help people, Lilly, but I'm stuck behind a desk at the station. I don't help anyone, not directly like I want to. I can and have influenced this boy, helped him become a man. I'm a parent. Sure, he doesn't call me 'dad' and I missed him growing up, but I'm more of a parent to him than he's ever had before. I'm more than he's ever had before. I'm not going to let him down. He means too much to me."
"I need to get to sleep, it's getting late and Sarah will be up early." Lilly said, excusing herself. Alex had certainly given her quite a bit to think about. "If you need anything, just ask."
"One more thing," Alex said. She paused at the doorway, waiting. "The police tonight, that was mostly my fault. Don't be mad at him."
Lilly nodded shortly, leaving Alex by himself.
***
Jamie trudged downstairs at 9:00am not looking forward to the lecture that he knew was coming. *Sleep good?* Alex asked.
"Uhh, yeah," Jamie replied. Not what he was expecting.
*There's stuff for cereal on the table and milk and OJ in the refrigerator.* Alex told him, continuing to look over the papers he had brought with him from the station.
Jamie went to go get breakfast, wondering where everyone was. The house was abnormally quiet. Wait, there was a reason for that. He sat down at the table to eat and Alex joined him. *Want to talk about last night?*
"What's there to say? I was arrested. Again." Jamie sighed, resigned to being punished and yelled at.
*Not what I meant. I mean, about us tricking you into seeing Peter.*
"Oh, that. You should have told me. I could've saved you a lot of gas money. We aren't exactly a close-knit family."
*You have a remarkable knack for understatement. Why do you hate him so much?*
"He left me with our dad. He just left. He was always talking about getting a scholarship and leaving, but I never thought he'd go. I thought he'd protect me like he had been. Then one day I came home and he had packed a couple boxes and left on a gray hound, he didn't say where he was going, no goodbye, no nothing." Tears began to trickle down his cheeks. "We were never close, but he stopped dad from hitting me so much."
*Your dad beat you more after that?* Alex didn't want to know the answer.
"Yeah. Enough for us both." He didn't bother to wipe the tears away.
Alex reached over and grabbed a napkin off the table, wiping the tears off his wards' face. *I'm not going to leave, understand that?*
Jamie nodded, unable to speak.
*And I'm not mad at you for getting arrested.*
"You're not?" he choked out, surprised.
*No, I'm not. If I had known all of this, I would never have forced you to see Peter. So your run-in is partially my fault. But, what were you doing?*
"Kicking a trashcan, but I think they hauled me to the station because I didn't turn around when they told me too. Did you talk with Peter after I left?"
Alex had hoped Jamie wouldn't ask that question. It nearly tore his heart out to have to tell him the truth. *Yeah, he...he doesn't want to see you again.*
"Oh." Was all that the younger man replied. Slowly he took a bite of his cereal. He wasn't going to start bawling like a baby. He wasn't. More tears trickled down his face, unbidden. He left the cereal half finished and headed out to the backyard for some privacy.
***
Meanwhile, John had headed back over to Oglethorpe to see Peter, hoping to talk some sense into him.
"I left my life in Kingsport behind and that means Jamie too!" Peter said harshly, wishing this conversation was not taking place in front of his roommate but unable to make him leave.
"He needs you! You're his brother!" John repeated, trying to understand how a family could be this callous and uncaring towards each other.
"So what? Our mother left and so did I! I'm not going back to that nightmare!"
"I'm not asking you too! I'm asking for you to have lunch today with your brother! Maybe go hang out tonight. Hell, take him to a frat party or a strip club! Get him drunk!" Peter looked at his Professor aghast. "What you think I forgot what guys in college do? I'm not that old!"
"We can't talk! Or 'bond' as I'm sure you'd call it! He's fuckin' deaf! As in he can't hear! I don't know shit about sign language!"
"So what? Make an effort! Write down what you want to say! It's not that hard to do!" Constantine was pissed. Almost pissed enough to drop his student a letter grade, fortunately he didn't believe in letting events outside the classroom dictate the grade in the classroom. But he was almost willing to 'forget' his rule for a few minutes.
Peter sighed, knowing he was defeated, "I'll think about it and call you later."
"You have my home number?"
"It's on the syllabus."
John looked around the room amazed if the syllabus hadn't walked away in search of a cleaner room. "Let me save you the trouble of having to find it," He handed Peter a business card, before letting himself out the door. "Oh, and Peter? I can't force you to do this, but I can promise you that you'll make his day. He misses you."
A/N: the kid who wore bondage gear to class is a friend of mine who really does. If you don't know what bondage gear is...well, don't ask me. And certainly don't ask your parents!
Nice little cliffhanger I left, huh? Well, let's see what happens in chapter 15. I certainly don't know!
By Maureen
Standard disclaimers apply. Some bad language. This is how most (but not all) guys in college speak.
***
Alex and John arrived home an hour after Jamie had, both frustrated and wanting a beer to help de-stress them. While Alex was not a heavy drinker by any definition, he did occasionally like to unwind with a cold one and since he had taken Jamie in he had certainly felt the call of alcohol more than normal. This would be the first time he had heeded it though.
"He's upstairs," Lilly said from the couch. She sat in the darkened living room, surprising her husband and Alex. "The cops brought him home an hour ago."
"The cops?" John echoed dully.
"I'll deal with him, John. It's not like we're not completely blameless either." Alex pointed out, heading upstairs.
"Don't wake up the baby!" she called after Alex. He ignored her. "John, I don't like this kid."
"You didn't like him from the moment he walked in the door, Lilly. Why?"
"He's a juvenile delinquent, John!" Lilly defended herself.
"There's more to it than that, honey. You were never hated somebody on sight like this before."
"I'm not comfortable with people with disabilities, okay? What if there's a fire and he doesn't wake up? And he's a punk. What if he steals the good china?" Lilly tried to verbalize her concerns, unsure exactly what was disturbing her so. "You should have told me!"
"I asked if it was alright for them to come stay with us, remember? And I told you he was deaf."
"You didn't say he was a poster child for the juvie system!"
John sighed. "I didn't know he was a punk, okay? But Alex said he was a good kid and I trust him. If Alex says he's good then appearance or not, I'm going to take his word on it. Besides, I've had a lot of weirder looking kids in my classes. Had a guy one year who wore bondage gear to class almost every day."
"I don't like this," Lilly looked down, ashamed of her behavior. Until this point she had prided herself on being open-minded, but never before had she been forced to try to understand a person who was not an Abercrombie prep, someone not from an upper-middle class background.
***
Alex slowly opened the door to the room Jamie was sharing with Sarah. Since Sarah was already asleep, Jamie had simply taken off his shoes and laid down as well. Now he was fast asleep, oblivious to Alex in the doorway or the conversation taking place downstairs.
Alex watched the steady rise and fall of Jamie's chest as he slept, still clothed in his jeans and t-shirt. Shaking his head, he closed the door. Now he had at least a few hours to figure out what to do before Jamie woke up.
Alex headed back down, intending to sleep himself. When he reached the living room, he saw that the Constantine's were still talking, he didn't want to interrupt but he didn't know where else to go.
"Alex, don't go," John called softly, "Lilly is worried that Jamie will...well, she wants to know more about him."
"Your afraid he'll take the good china?" Alex asked, guessing at what had Lilly so worried.
She nodded, not meeting the older mans' eyes.
"He won't. He's a good kid, Lilly. Sure, he dresses differently, but that's not a bad thing. He's an individual. I worked with him for several months before I took him in, no matter what was thrown at him, and he's had quite a bit thrown at him during his life, he took it and rose above it. He just needs someone to love him unconditionally and be there for him. That's what I'm doing, okay?"
Lilly only nodded again, "Has he been in trouble before?" While they spoke, John slipped away, letting them have their privacy.
Alex thought for a moment, trying to decide if he should tell the truth or not. The truth won out. "Yeah, he's been in trouble before. He was on probation until earlier this week. But look at where he's coming from; his father is an alcoholic who couldn't keep a job if his life depended on it, he abused both of his sons, he was barely passing in school, he had nothing. He was put on probation for taking some guitar picks, not armed robbery. I'm surprised he's turned out as well as he has, actually. In three months his grades have gone from D's to A's and B's. He has friends, a girlfriend. The changes are day and night. This chip on his shoulder is nearly gone."
"You love him," Lilly didn't ask a question, she made it a statement.
"Yeah, I do. I became a doctor to help people, Lilly, but I'm stuck behind a desk at the station. I don't help anyone, not directly like I want to. I can and have influenced this boy, helped him become a man. I'm a parent. Sure, he doesn't call me 'dad' and I missed him growing up, but I'm more of a parent to him than he's ever had before. I'm more than he's ever had before. I'm not going to let him down. He means too much to me."
"I need to get to sleep, it's getting late and Sarah will be up early." Lilly said, excusing herself. Alex had certainly given her quite a bit to think about. "If you need anything, just ask."
"One more thing," Alex said. She paused at the doorway, waiting. "The police tonight, that was mostly my fault. Don't be mad at him."
Lilly nodded shortly, leaving Alex by himself.
***
Jamie trudged downstairs at 9:00am not looking forward to the lecture that he knew was coming. *Sleep good?* Alex asked.
"Uhh, yeah," Jamie replied. Not what he was expecting.
*There's stuff for cereal on the table and milk and OJ in the refrigerator.* Alex told him, continuing to look over the papers he had brought with him from the station.
Jamie went to go get breakfast, wondering where everyone was. The house was abnormally quiet. Wait, there was a reason for that. He sat down at the table to eat and Alex joined him. *Want to talk about last night?*
"What's there to say? I was arrested. Again." Jamie sighed, resigned to being punished and yelled at.
*Not what I meant. I mean, about us tricking you into seeing Peter.*
"Oh, that. You should have told me. I could've saved you a lot of gas money. We aren't exactly a close-knit family."
*You have a remarkable knack for understatement. Why do you hate him so much?*
"He left me with our dad. He just left. He was always talking about getting a scholarship and leaving, but I never thought he'd go. I thought he'd protect me like he had been. Then one day I came home and he had packed a couple boxes and left on a gray hound, he didn't say where he was going, no goodbye, no nothing." Tears began to trickle down his cheeks. "We were never close, but he stopped dad from hitting me so much."
*Your dad beat you more after that?* Alex didn't want to know the answer.
"Yeah. Enough for us both." He didn't bother to wipe the tears away.
Alex reached over and grabbed a napkin off the table, wiping the tears off his wards' face. *I'm not going to leave, understand that?*
Jamie nodded, unable to speak.
*And I'm not mad at you for getting arrested.*
"You're not?" he choked out, surprised.
*No, I'm not. If I had known all of this, I would never have forced you to see Peter. So your run-in is partially my fault. But, what were you doing?*
"Kicking a trashcan, but I think they hauled me to the station because I didn't turn around when they told me too. Did you talk with Peter after I left?"
Alex had hoped Jamie wouldn't ask that question. It nearly tore his heart out to have to tell him the truth. *Yeah, he...he doesn't want to see you again.*
"Oh." Was all that the younger man replied. Slowly he took a bite of his cereal. He wasn't going to start bawling like a baby. He wasn't. More tears trickled down his face, unbidden. He left the cereal half finished and headed out to the backyard for some privacy.
***
Meanwhile, John had headed back over to Oglethorpe to see Peter, hoping to talk some sense into him.
"I left my life in Kingsport behind and that means Jamie too!" Peter said harshly, wishing this conversation was not taking place in front of his roommate but unable to make him leave.
"He needs you! You're his brother!" John repeated, trying to understand how a family could be this callous and uncaring towards each other.
"So what? Our mother left and so did I! I'm not going back to that nightmare!"
"I'm not asking you too! I'm asking for you to have lunch today with your brother! Maybe go hang out tonight. Hell, take him to a frat party or a strip club! Get him drunk!" Peter looked at his Professor aghast. "What you think I forgot what guys in college do? I'm not that old!"
"We can't talk! Or 'bond' as I'm sure you'd call it! He's fuckin' deaf! As in he can't hear! I don't know shit about sign language!"
"So what? Make an effort! Write down what you want to say! It's not that hard to do!" Constantine was pissed. Almost pissed enough to drop his student a letter grade, fortunately he didn't believe in letting events outside the classroom dictate the grade in the classroom. But he was almost willing to 'forget' his rule for a few minutes.
Peter sighed, knowing he was defeated, "I'll think about it and call you later."
"You have my home number?"
"It's on the syllabus."
John looked around the room amazed if the syllabus hadn't walked away in search of a cleaner room. "Let me save you the trouble of having to find it," He handed Peter a business card, before letting himself out the door. "Oh, and Peter? I can't force you to do this, but I can promise you that you'll make his day. He misses you."
A/N: the kid who wore bondage gear to class is a friend of mine who really does. If you don't know what bondage gear is...well, don't ask me. And certainly don't ask your parents!
Nice little cliffhanger I left, huh? Well, let's see what happens in chapter 15. I certainly don't know!