Silent Heartbeats 15: You can pick your nose, but not your family
By Maureen
Alex watched Jamie swing on the swing set with uncharacteristic vigor through the playroom window. Back and forth, back and forth, legs pumping, he was obviously trying to outrun his inner demons and failing.
"Not a happy camper is he?" Lilly asked hesitantly. She had run errands all morning to give Alex a chance to deal with Jamie but she had to return so Sarah could sleep.
"That would be an understatement. I think I shattered whatever slivers of hope he had." Alex didn't turn to look at her, but she could tell that he was upset from the tense muscles in his back.
"I'm sorry about how I've acted, I wish I could do this over again, make a better impression."
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to him."
"I don't know sign."
"I'll show you, it's not hard." Alex turned away from the window to show her the sign. "I almost wish I was married right now. He needs two parents. His girlfriend, Catie, helps a lot for the maternal stuff, but she's in Kingsport and this is something that needs to be dealt with now."
Lilly stood next to him silently for a few more minutes before opening the sliding glass door. She joined Jamie on the swings and began to swing herself, more of a gentle rocking motion than the hard pumping that Jamie was doing.
"What do you want?!" Jamie demanded, noticing her.
*I'm sorry.*
"You're sorry, I'm sorry, sorry doesn't do any damn good!" Jamie yelled at her, jumping off the swing. He landed with a thud, rolling the last few feet head over heels. He sat where he landed, tears streaming down his face. Within seconds, he was cradled in Lilly's arms, being rocked softly.
Even though he couldn't hear her, she rubbed his back and rocked him gently, murmuring soothing words. Sobs wracked his thin body until he could cry no more. "He said when we were little that he'd always be there for me and he always was. And when he left, I thought he'd come back for me as soon as he had the money, but he didn't. I never knew where he had gone!"
"Shhh, shhh, I know, I know." Lilly couldn't believe how vulnerable he was at sixteen years old. Most sixteen-year-old guys would not be caught dead crying in the arms of a strange woman that a day before had nearly hated him. Of course, he had not exactly led a life that allowed for him to be vulnerable and was most likely taking it since he knew society would probably never let him have it again. So young to be hurt so badly.
***
While Lilly and Jamie were outside, John had joined Alex in the playroom. "How'd the talk with Peter go?" Alex asked.
"He doesn't want to see him still, but I implied that if he didn't see him tonight his grade in my class would suffer. He's on a full scholarship and can't let his grades down for a minute. I won't do it, I have morals, but I'm tempted."
"We'll leave after dinner if he doesn't call," Alex sighed, "This is not how I pictured everything. It was supposed to be one of those picture perfect Lifetime movie crap things."
"Never is, man, never is. How's your sister?" John asked, changing the subject. They continued to speak until the phone rang nearly thirty minutes later.
"Hello?" John asked, picking the phone up.
"It's Peter. I'll take Jamie out if he still wants to go." He was obviously nervous and wished this phone call was finished. Hell, he wished the entire night were over.
"Sure. Be here at 7:00pm? You need directions?"
"No, I know where your house is. 7:00 then."
"What're you going to do?"
"Dinner and then a party if he wants to go. If not, I'll take him back." Peter did not want to go out with his kid brother at all. The faster he could get rid of him the better. Maybe he could pass him off as a cousin or exchange student or something...they didn't look anything alike and his friend's thought that he didn't have any family.
Just went to show you, no matter what happened, blood ended up more binding than all of a persons hopes and dreams.
***
Jamie fidgeted nervously on the couch, trying to play with Sarah. His heart just wasn't interested in playing with a toddler. Jamie fidgeted some more. He wasn't even this nervous on his first date!
Finally the doorbell rang. The nice thing about toddlers and dogs, Jamie decided, was that they always made a beeline for the door whenever the doorbell rang. They were more reliable than the stupid thing at Alex's apartment that flashed whenever someone knocked on the door.
Jamie followed at a less than breakneck speed, although, with his significantly longer legs, had no problems keeping up with the small child. For some unknown reason, he wasn't expecting his older brother to show. Call it an educated guess; after all, his track record for keeping his promises to his younger brother wasn't exactly exemplary.
Peter stood in the doorway, his nervousness nearly palpable. He's mouth moved, obviously to say something. "I'm deaf Beavis," Jamie replied, sarcastically. He didn't want to admit it, but he was still not used to the silence he lived in. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be inured to it or not.
*He said he's taking you to a party. Here's our phone number, just in case. And try to be home at a reasonable hour. 6am is not reasonable! * Alex said, ushering the brothers out the door. He had also repeated his instructions to Peter.
Jamie shoved the piece of paper with the phone number in a pocket, immediately forgetting about it. He was sixteen! He did not need an emergency number! Of course, he remembered, he had needed one the night before. Damn their logic.
Dinner, as it turned out, was pizza at the local pizza parlor. There were probably close to 10 people in their group, three cars. Jamie had no idea who anyone was except Peter and did not bother to introduce him. He didn't even care about the explanation Peter had given to his presence, Jamie knew that he was not introduced as his younger brother.
He ate his pizza, sitting inconspicuously at one end of the table. The other people were all young, gorgeous and preppy. Bleach blonde hair, short skirts and plaid shirts ruled. Jamie looked decidedly out of place, like he did when he hung with the 'super squad'. At least with them he knew where he stood, knew that they accepted each other's differences and actually liked them. It wasn't often the social barriers were crossed, but when they were it was, at least in Jamie's biased opinion, fraught with confusion and misunderstanding that led to acceptance and understanding. This was going to be a long night.
The party was already in full swing when they arrived. Someone immediately pressed a cold beer into Jamie's hand. Not just any beer, he noticed, but Foster's. 'Australian for beer' my left butt cheek, he thought, more like 'Australian for cat piss'. Foster's, he knew, was hated in Australia and was subsequently imported to America.
Oh, they're going all out for this party, he thought. Cheap beer, bass he could feel in his teeth and cheap girls. All in all, it was a VD's paradise. Too bad he had no desire to end up with gonorrhea or syph.
Looking around Peter was nowhere to be seen. There was no reason for him to stay close to Jamie, he didn't need anyone to hold his hand, but it would have been polite to at least introduce him to a few people.
Jamie sat on a couch next to a girl who was attempting to swallow the head of a guy. For his part, he was trying to swallow her head as well. Wunderbar.
As interesting as watching people make out and strip because of drunkenness, he was an EMT. He saved lives, and something in him said 'this isn't right, I should stop it'. What was he going to do though, take every single solitary beer away? There would be a drunken mob trying to lynch him.
So he sat. For two hours according to his watch. He was bored. And the can of Foster's he still held, that way no one would hand him more, was beginning to look appealing. So he decided to wander upstairs. Maybe something interesting would be going on up there.
Nope. Just lots of weed and shots of whiskey, vodka and who knows what else. He found Peter doing Kamikaze's, a toke in his other hand. Perfect. His brother not only drank underage, but also did drugs. Jamie shook his head, as he realized that at a party like this it was to be expected. He was the anomaly. Why else would they have come?
Jamie checked his watch again. Nearly midnight. A little late to call Alex, but late was better than never, which is what could happen if he rides back with the drunk drivers.
Downstairs he found the phone, and he quickly dialed the number Alex had given him. He couldn't hear it ring. The phone didn't have a TTY connection. He was SOL. Jamie returned to his couch, dejected, phone still in hand. What could he do? He didn't know if he could find his way back in the dark...not that he knew where 'here' was.
Then again...it might just work. Jamie quickly pushed the on button and dialed 911. After he waited a minute, he said into the phone, "My name is Jamie, and I'm deaf. Please send the police to this address!" He waited another minute to make sure they had the address on their computers before hanging up and heading out to the front yard to wait.
Less than ten minutes later a squad car drove up, no lights on. The two cops from the night before stepped out. Bloody hell.
"Not you two!" Jamie complained, meeting them in the yard. By this point, word that they were being raided had passed through the masses in the house and kids were streaming out the back door in an attempt to not get caught. The cops weren't even chasing them.
"Mr. Waite." the more experienced of the two said, sourly. There was no need for paper. He made a phone with his hand and then pointed at Jamie. 'You called?'
"I called," Jamie said, suddenly ashamed. His brilliant plan was not working. "I, ah, need a ride home. I was going to call for the Constantine's to pick me up, but I don't know how to get here and there is no TTY. Calling 911 was the only thing I could think to do."
/You know where you are?/ the cop asked, remembering the night before.
"Yeah. Peachtea Lane. At a really crappy party. It sucks."
/You been drinking?/
"No sir." Jamie replied. "I need a ride because it is too far to walk and because I am not riding with a drunk driver."
/We're going to breathalyze you. If you're clean, we'll take you home./ Jamie breathed obediently into the plastic tube they told him too, waiting quietly while they determined that he was indeed sober. /Okay kid, let's go./
"Thanks." Jamie climbed into the backseat, sans handcuffs. Screw Peter. Big brother or not, he was a grade-A asshole.
Jamie left the next morning without knowing what happened to Peter. And he didn't care.
A/n" VD: Venereal Disease, aka a STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).
Syph: syphilis. I know a cat named "The goddess Syphalia", which is shortened to "Syph"...so yeah, the comic store guy that owns her has Syph. ; P
By Maureen
Alex watched Jamie swing on the swing set with uncharacteristic vigor through the playroom window. Back and forth, back and forth, legs pumping, he was obviously trying to outrun his inner demons and failing.
"Not a happy camper is he?" Lilly asked hesitantly. She had run errands all morning to give Alex a chance to deal with Jamie but she had to return so Sarah could sleep.
"That would be an understatement. I think I shattered whatever slivers of hope he had." Alex didn't turn to look at her, but she could tell that he was upset from the tense muscles in his back.
"I'm sorry about how I've acted, I wish I could do this over again, make a better impression."
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to him."
"I don't know sign."
"I'll show you, it's not hard." Alex turned away from the window to show her the sign. "I almost wish I was married right now. He needs two parents. His girlfriend, Catie, helps a lot for the maternal stuff, but she's in Kingsport and this is something that needs to be dealt with now."
Lilly stood next to him silently for a few more minutes before opening the sliding glass door. She joined Jamie on the swings and began to swing herself, more of a gentle rocking motion than the hard pumping that Jamie was doing.
"What do you want?!" Jamie demanded, noticing her.
*I'm sorry.*
"You're sorry, I'm sorry, sorry doesn't do any damn good!" Jamie yelled at her, jumping off the swing. He landed with a thud, rolling the last few feet head over heels. He sat where he landed, tears streaming down his face. Within seconds, he was cradled in Lilly's arms, being rocked softly.
Even though he couldn't hear her, she rubbed his back and rocked him gently, murmuring soothing words. Sobs wracked his thin body until he could cry no more. "He said when we were little that he'd always be there for me and he always was. And when he left, I thought he'd come back for me as soon as he had the money, but he didn't. I never knew where he had gone!"
"Shhh, shhh, I know, I know." Lilly couldn't believe how vulnerable he was at sixteen years old. Most sixteen-year-old guys would not be caught dead crying in the arms of a strange woman that a day before had nearly hated him. Of course, he had not exactly led a life that allowed for him to be vulnerable and was most likely taking it since he knew society would probably never let him have it again. So young to be hurt so badly.
***
While Lilly and Jamie were outside, John had joined Alex in the playroom. "How'd the talk with Peter go?" Alex asked.
"He doesn't want to see him still, but I implied that if he didn't see him tonight his grade in my class would suffer. He's on a full scholarship and can't let his grades down for a minute. I won't do it, I have morals, but I'm tempted."
"We'll leave after dinner if he doesn't call," Alex sighed, "This is not how I pictured everything. It was supposed to be one of those picture perfect Lifetime movie crap things."
"Never is, man, never is. How's your sister?" John asked, changing the subject. They continued to speak until the phone rang nearly thirty minutes later.
"Hello?" John asked, picking the phone up.
"It's Peter. I'll take Jamie out if he still wants to go." He was obviously nervous and wished this phone call was finished. Hell, he wished the entire night were over.
"Sure. Be here at 7:00pm? You need directions?"
"No, I know where your house is. 7:00 then."
"What're you going to do?"
"Dinner and then a party if he wants to go. If not, I'll take him back." Peter did not want to go out with his kid brother at all. The faster he could get rid of him the better. Maybe he could pass him off as a cousin or exchange student or something...they didn't look anything alike and his friend's thought that he didn't have any family.
Just went to show you, no matter what happened, blood ended up more binding than all of a persons hopes and dreams.
***
Jamie fidgeted nervously on the couch, trying to play with Sarah. His heart just wasn't interested in playing with a toddler. Jamie fidgeted some more. He wasn't even this nervous on his first date!
Finally the doorbell rang. The nice thing about toddlers and dogs, Jamie decided, was that they always made a beeline for the door whenever the doorbell rang. They were more reliable than the stupid thing at Alex's apartment that flashed whenever someone knocked on the door.
Jamie followed at a less than breakneck speed, although, with his significantly longer legs, had no problems keeping up with the small child. For some unknown reason, he wasn't expecting his older brother to show. Call it an educated guess; after all, his track record for keeping his promises to his younger brother wasn't exactly exemplary.
Peter stood in the doorway, his nervousness nearly palpable. He's mouth moved, obviously to say something. "I'm deaf Beavis," Jamie replied, sarcastically. He didn't want to admit it, but he was still not used to the silence he lived in. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be inured to it or not.
*He said he's taking you to a party. Here's our phone number, just in case. And try to be home at a reasonable hour. 6am is not reasonable! * Alex said, ushering the brothers out the door. He had also repeated his instructions to Peter.
Jamie shoved the piece of paper with the phone number in a pocket, immediately forgetting about it. He was sixteen! He did not need an emergency number! Of course, he remembered, he had needed one the night before. Damn their logic.
Dinner, as it turned out, was pizza at the local pizza parlor. There were probably close to 10 people in their group, three cars. Jamie had no idea who anyone was except Peter and did not bother to introduce him. He didn't even care about the explanation Peter had given to his presence, Jamie knew that he was not introduced as his younger brother.
He ate his pizza, sitting inconspicuously at one end of the table. The other people were all young, gorgeous and preppy. Bleach blonde hair, short skirts and plaid shirts ruled. Jamie looked decidedly out of place, like he did when he hung with the 'super squad'. At least with them he knew where he stood, knew that they accepted each other's differences and actually liked them. It wasn't often the social barriers were crossed, but when they were it was, at least in Jamie's biased opinion, fraught with confusion and misunderstanding that led to acceptance and understanding. This was going to be a long night.
The party was already in full swing when they arrived. Someone immediately pressed a cold beer into Jamie's hand. Not just any beer, he noticed, but Foster's. 'Australian for beer' my left butt cheek, he thought, more like 'Australian for cat piss'. Foster's, he knew, was hated in Australia and was subsequently imported to America.
Oh, they're going all out for this party, he thought. Cheap beer, bass he could feel in his teeth and cheap girls. All in all, it was a VD's paradise. Too bad he had no desire to end up with gonorrhea or syph.
Looking around Peter was nowhere to be seen. There was no reason for him to stay close to Jamie, he didn't need anyone to hold his hand, but it would have been polite to at least introduce him to a few people.
Jamie sat on a couch next to a girl who was attempting to swallow the head of a guy. For his part, he was trying to swallow her head as well. Wunderbar.
As interesting as watching people make out and strip because of drunkenness, he was an EMT. He saved lives, and something in him said 'this isn't right, I should stop it'. What was he going to do though, take every single solitary beer away? There would be a drunken mob trying to lynch him.
So he sat. For two hours according to his watch. He was bored. And the can of Foster's he still held, that way no one would hand him more, was beginning to look appealing. So he decided to wander upstairs. Maybe something interesting would be going on up there.
Nope. Just lots of weed and shots of whiskey, vodka and who knows what else. He found Peter doing Kamikaze's, a toke in his other hand. Perfect. His brother not only drank underage, but also did drugs. Jamie shook his head, as he realized that at a party like this it was to be expected. He was the anomaly. Why else would they have come?
Jamie checked his watch again. Nearly midnight. A little late to call Alex, but late was better than never, which is what could happen if he rides back with the drunk drivers.
Downstairs he found the phone, and he quickly dialed the number Alex had given him. He couldn't hear it ring. The phone didn't have a TTY connection. He was SOL. Jamie returned to his couch, dejected, phone still in hand. What could he do? He didn't know if he could find his way back in the dark...not that he knew where 'here' was.
Then again...it might just work. Jamie quickly pushed the on button and dialed 911. After he waited a minute, he said into the phone, "My name is Jamie, and I'm deaf. Please send the police to this address!" He waited another minute to make sure they had the address on their computers before hanging up and heading out to the front yard to wait.
Less than ten minutes later a squad car drove up, no lights on. The two cops from the night before stepped out. Bloody hell.
"Not you two!" Jamie complained, meeting them in the yard. By this point, word that they were being raided had passed through the masses in the house and kids were streaming out the back door in an attempt to not get caught. The cops weren't even chasing them.
"Mr. Waite." the more experienced of the two said, sourly. There was no need for paper. He made a phone with his hand and then pointed at Jamie. 'You called?'
"I called," Jamie said, suddenly ashamed. His brilliant plan was not working. "I, ah, need a ride home. I was going to call for the Constantine's to pick me up, but I don't know how to get here and there is no TTY. Calling 911 was the only thing I could think to do."
/You know where you are?/ the cop asked, remembering the night before.
"Yeah. Peachtea Lane. At a really crappy party. It sucks."
/You been drinking?/
"No sir." Jamie replied. "I need a ride because it is too far to walk and because I am not riding with a drunk driver."
/We're going to breathalyze you. If you're clean, we'll take you home./ Jamie breathed obediently into the plastic tube they told him too, waiting quietly while they determined that he was indeed sober. /Okay kid, let's go./
"Thanks." Jamie climbed into the backseat, sans handcuffs. Screw Peter. Big brother or not, he was a grade-A asshole.
Jamie left the next morning without knowing what happened to Peter. And he didn't care.
A/n" VD: Venereal Disease, aka a STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).
Syph: syphilis. I know a cat named "The goddess Syphalia", which is shortened to "Syph"...so yeah, the comic store guy that owns her has Syph. ; P