A/N: ok…this chapter is pretty short, but I put a lot into it…I really think I put more into this chapter than any others. Well, I'd like to thank my new beta-reader, whose ff.n pen name is wolfgirl, so, thanx a bunch! This is a really sad chapter, though…and really important…this is where the entire plot for the fic kinda reveals itself…well, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Does the name J.K. Rowling ring a bell? Well, everything that's her's is her's…YAY!

Chapter Nine:
"What's The Point?"
          The next morning at breakfast, the Marauders and company were discussing what their exploits for the day would be. "Why don't we go play Quidditch?" Suggested Remus
          "Not enough people. Plus, I have Quidditch practice this afternoon anyways. I've had enough of Quidditch, what with having to wake the entire team up at 4 am every morning for practice." James said.

          "Yeah, well, it isn't exactly a barrel of fun for us either." Said Sirius
          "Yeah, and I hardly get any sleep anymore! What with waking up at 3 am to curl my hair, and get ready, and take a shower, and-"
          "We get the picture, Tawny." Lily said.
          "Well, don't complain. If we want to win, we have to work, work, work!" Said James
          "Ok, so what are we going to do?" Natty asked, as she walked over to the table. "How about Hogsmeade?"
          "Great idea!" James exclaimed.
          "Ok, let's go! James, get the map!" Sirius directed. "We'll meet you at the statue of the One-Eyed Witch."
          "Right!" James said, rushing up to the Gryffindor common room.
Once in Hogsmeade, they stopped at Zonko's, and Honeydukes, then went down to The Three Broomsticks for some Butterbeer. Madam Rosmerta didn't even question them about being there, remembering her Hogwarts years. She just smiled and chuckled at the mischievous youths. They sat at a round table, and James began a conversation about Quidditch, when two men walked in.
          "Good afternoon, Madam Rosmerta."
          "Why, hello, Frank. Hi there, Scott!"
          "Good day, Madam." Said the man who Lily assumed was Scott.
          "What's the latest with you? Any other important Auror work?" Asked Madam Rosemerta.
          "Unfortunately, it's been a very busy season. Voldemort has done mass murders all over. It's unbelievable. They say he's looking for the Phoenix Ring" Frank chuckled.
          "Yes, laughable, it is, but if the Phoenix Ring IS out there, it isn't good. It isn't good at all." Scott said.
The Phoenix Ring? Lily's head began to ache. Memories of forgotten times were drifting into her mind.
~*~
          "Oh, Lily, let's go outside! We can play that we're princesses!" Came the voice of a girl, Lily knew to be Violet Evans.
          "Oh, not now, Vi! I have to do homework! Why don't you actually do yours, for once?" Came Lily's twelve-year-old voice.
          "All you ever do is work, Lily Evans! I haven't played with you once this summer! Well, I'm going to play!" Violet screamed.
          "Fine, Vi! Go play! You really should be working right now, you know. Maybe you'd do better at Hogwarts!" Lily retorted to her sister.
          "What? And turn out like you? I'd rather be dead, Lily Evans!" Violet cried.
~* ~
Tears welled up in Lily's eyes. Those were her last words to her. She'd rather be dead. The scenes in Lily's mind continued to play.
~*~
          Violet was walking outside to play, but the picture in her mind returned to herself, sitting at her desk working. Then, Lily heard screams. Not out loud, in her mind. LILY! Lily, help me! He wants the ring! The Phoenix Ring! Sounds of running... Then, nothing… Nothing at all... The end of it all...
~*~
          "Lily? Lily! Are you ok? What's wrong? Lily! LILY!" Lily was dazed, but she half-heard Grace's cries.
          "Vi?" Lily asked.
          "LIL-EE!" Cried Tawny.
          Lily opened her eyes and stared blankly at Tawny. "She's dead, isn't she?"
          "Of course she's dead, Lily! She's been dead for five years! Lily? Is something wrong?" Tawny asked, worrying about Lily's sanity.
          Lily was back to herself. "No. Nothing's wrong." Everyone was staring at her.
          "What just happened?" Asked James "You got all spaced out."
          "I don't know. I'll tell you guys later. It's so confusing now." The others just kept staring at her. "Let's go back to Hogwarts, I've had enough of Hogsmeade for one day.
          Over the next few days Lily had nightmares, which contained Violet's death scenario. By the following Wednesday, Lily was too frightened to even go to sleep at night. Watching her horribly mean, rude, and arrogant 12-year-old self, she kept feeling guiltier by the night. And what was The Phoenix Ring? Who wanted it? There was a memory that was trying to get through to Lily, but Lily shunned it away. Before then, Lily had tried to forget everything about her past. Everything about Violet... The games they had played… The stories they had told… Everything. And before then, it had worked.
          From lack of sleep, Lily was insufficient in class, but Lily thought of that as a good thing. Why spend her life studying? It killed Vi. Her studying had killed her twin sister. Her best friend. Lily was beginning to forget why life was worth living. Why should she go on any longer? It was only a matter of time until she died. What was the point? What was the point in anything? Everything she'd ever loved was gone.
          Lily was exceptionally quiet, and tended to snap often, because of her lack of sleep. Her friends thought it was odd, but they didn't ask her anything. As the days passed, Lily became paler and paler. She had stopped eating, but nothing mattered anymore. What was the point?
          After two weeks her friends began to worry. "Lily? Is something wrong?" Asked Grace, several times
          But Lily would always answer, "Everything's fine." In a dazed way, as if she weren't really paying attention. Everything wasn't fine, but why should she tell Grace that? It'd just worry her.
          One day, Lily found herself skipping class and going out to the lake. She just sat there, staring at the water. 'Violet and I used to skip rocks off this lake…' Lily found herself thinking. She couldn't seem to stop thinking about Vi. 'Damn it!' she yelled at herself. 'Shut up, Lily! God! Maybe if I jump in the lake no one would be moronic enough to save me...'
          "Lily?! What're you doing! You should be in class!" Came James' voice
          "Why? Why should I? There's no point. There's no point in anything. I just want to end all this. It's all torture. ALL OF IT!" Lily screamed, her eyes filled with tears and she began to sob uncontrollably.
          James looked at her, worried. "Lily? What's bothering you?"
          "Everything is! Everything! Life! It's all bothering me! I hate it!" She sobbed more.
          James looked at her awkwardly. "Would you rather be dead?" He asked.
          "Oh, I don't know! But, I hate this!"
          "Well, no one ever said life was perfect. The world is full of hate, and pain, and sorrow, and evil. But it's also full of love."
          Lily swallowed her tears. "Only so that it can be taken away from you to cause more pain! I loved Violet, and now she's dead. My mother loved my father. He died. I loved my mother. She died. I loved H-"
          James interrupted, "Loved? You don't still love them?"
          "Well, yes, I suppose I do, but they're dead. They've left me all alone."
          "But, you still love them. Your love for them is still here."
          "But they're gone."
          "They can never be gone. Never. They're still with you."
          "No, they aren't! They're gone!"
          "Don't be stubborn, Lily. They're here. With you."
          "You sound insane! They're gone! They're DEAD!"
          "Dead, yes. But, gone? No."
          Lily sobbed. "You know, I thought I had forever. Forever to play princesses with Violet. Forever to have long conversations with Mother. Forever to be swung on the swing by Father. Forever to help Hannah cook breakfast. But, I didn't. I don't have forever either. I should just go with them now. I could be with Father, and Mother, and Hannah. And play princesses with Violet, and…" Lily's words were muffled by her sob.
          "It wouldn't be better, Lily. You're alive for a purpose. You still have unfinished tasks. You'll die when you're ready." James said. It was more of a command than a statement.
          "That's not fair!" Lily cried, sounding like a five year old.
          "Who said life, or death, for that matter, was fair?" Lily just sobbed.   "Come back to the castle, Lily. You need to get on with your life."
          "Much easier said than done." Lily said, but she stood up, took one last glance at the lake, and the past that she was leaving behind there.

A/N: *sniffles* wasn't that sad? I think it was, but then again, im a sap…I completely broke into histerical tears the other day when I was reading a L/J songfic…called Viva Forever…if u need something sad, then read that, it's really, really, really saddd…well, I hope u liked that!!! Review!