Summary: What happens when you take your favorite fairy tales and add Tokyo
Babylon and X/1999 characters? Pure mayhem!!!
This Chapter: While Subaru, Hokuto, and Seishiro are out for a walk, someone invades their house looking for…porridge!
Rating: PG-13 for shounen-ai (well, let's just say people get in the sac with the same sex here). Mild swearing, too, but you don't really mind that, do you?
Author's Note: This is madness gone way too far. If this is REALLY stupid to you, it's stupid to me too. I just felt fairy tales needed a face lift.
Fairy Tales Get Messed Up Tokyo Babylon/X Style
Chapter II: Kamui and the Three…um…People
Scene Six:
Kamui: (falls out of his perch atop a tree where he was waiting for them to leave and slinks to the front door) A candy house must have food inside.
He opens the door and steps inside to find a typical medieval cottage interior: a warm fire, large oven, quaint dinette set, two cages hanging from the ceiling large enough to stuff teenagers in, three bowls of porridge sitting humbly on the table…mm…porridge…
Kamui: I love porridge! (plops himself in front of Seishiro's bowl and tests it) Hm…too cold. (he moves to Hokuto's bowl and tests it) Too hot! (tries Subaru's bowl and smiles) Just right! (he gobbles all of the porridge)
Upon finishing the whole bowl, he stands and decides he'd like to sit and watch his favorite morning soap opera, "Their Future Was Preordained". He makes his way towards the telly to find three chairs.
Kamui: (sits in the first one labeled "Seishiro") Too hard on my bony butt. (sits in the next one labeled "Hokuto") Too soft. (sits in the chair labeled "Subaru") Oh…this is…hm…very nice…it's…just right!
After watching "Their Future Was Preordained", Kamui discovers that eating porridge and watching TV can tire out someone with virtually no meat on their bones. As he stands, the chair accidentally breaks. He shrugs and makes his way to the loft where he finds one bed. That bed is labeled "Hokuto". Kamui decides that anything labeled "Hokuto" isn't going to be the best. He has to find the bed labeled "Subaru", which seems to be the ideal label for everything. He goes back to the main floor where he finds a master bedroom. In that bedroom, there is one, king-sized bed labeled "Seishiro and Subaru's Great Love-Making Bed of Passion". Kamui concludes this is the closest he'll come to the comfortable bed worthy of this "Subaru" person, so he takes off his shoes and school uniform (that's all he ever really wears), which means he's only in his undershirt and briefs, and collapses in the bed all snug and warm.
Kamui: (mumbles) I have to meet this Subaru person…
Scene Seven:
A few hours later, Seishiro, Subaru, and Hokuto are just outside the cottage door, ready to enter and eat some yummy porridge!
Subaru: Our porridge is probably growing stuff by now. We shouldn't have taken such a long walk.
Seishiro: Well, if you hadn't tried to run away while Hokuto and I were getting ice cream…
Subaru: I thought Hokuto was going to run too!
Hokuto: Not while we were getting cookie dough ice cream I wasn't! (turns to Seishiro) That's my favorite, you know.
Subaru sighs as he opens the door. They enter to find their porridge bowls tampered with.
Seishiro: (picks up his bowl) Someone's been eating my porridge.
Hokuto: (does the same) Mine too!
Subaru: (stares at his bowl) Someone's been eating my porridge and it's all gone! (his stomach growls) So hungry…
Seishiro: If you hadn't tried to run away while we were getting some nice ramen noodles…
Subaru: I thought Hokuto was going to run too!
Hokuto: Not while we were getting ramen noodles I wasn't! (turns to Seishiro) I love ramen noodles, you know.
Seishiro: (points to his chair) Someone's been sitting in my chair.
Hokuto: (examines the chair, which has no visible signs of having been occupied) How can you tell?
Seishiro: (narrows his eyes) I can smell 'em.
The twins look at each other, confused.
Hokuto: (notices an indentation in her chair) Someone's been sitting in my chair, too.
Subaru: Why is Hokuto's name on the chair?
Seishiro: (smiles) Since you two are staying here awhile, I decided I should label all our stuff.
The twins look at each other again, confused.
Subaru: Hey! Someone's been sitting in my chair and he broke it. (disappointed) I was looking forward to sitting in my chair and watching my favorite soap, "Their Future Was Preordained".
Seishiro: Well, if you hadn't tried to run away while we were watching the taping of an episode…
Subaru: I thought Hokuto was going to run too!
Hokuto: Not while we were watching the taping of my favorite show I wasn't! (to Seishiro) I love that show!
Seishiro: (scratches his chin) I wonder who the perpetrator is.
Subaru: (notices the master bedroom's door is open) Maybe he's in here.
They creep in.
Subaru: (reading the label over the bed) "Seishiro and Subaru's Great Love- Making Bed of Passion"?
Seishiro: (smiles sinisterly) You like?
Hokuto: Shh! (points to the bed) There's someone under the covers.
Kamui: (from under the covers, he mumbles) Subaru…
Hokuto giggles while Subaru blushes.
Seishiro: (abruptly) How dare he… (pokes Kamui with his finger) Wake up!
Kamui: (still asleep) Subaru has the best stuff… (he suddenly wakes just before Seishiro is about the strangle him)
Seishiro: Well, good morning, star shine.
Kamui: (shrieks) Ah! The three bears!
Hokuto: (rolls up her sleeve, ready to beat him) Who you callin' a bear?
Subaru: No! (holds Hokuto back) Don't hurt him. He was just tired and hungry like we were. Let him stay here.
Seishiro: Damn. I was so looking forward to making love to you in that bed, Subaru.
Subaru: Well, if you hadn't run…Never mind.
Kamui: So, you must be Subaru, Seishiro, and Hokuto. (he blushes upon saying Subaru's name)
Subaru: (nods) We are. But what are you doing here?
Seishiro: (interrupts) No time for stories. We're all very tired after our long walk and chasing Subaru after he ran away about ten times. Shall we go to bed?
Hokuto: But it's only two in the afternoon!
Seishiro: (elbows Hokuto and says through his teeth) We're all very TIRED and would like to go to BED, if you catch my drift.
Hokuto: OH! (smiles) Well, I'll see you boys later. (begins to leave) Have fun SLEEPING. (laughs and exits)
Subaru: Hokuto! (tries to run after her) Don't leave me! [A/N: All TB fans should cry right now.]
Seishiro: (grabs Subaru by the collar) Oh, no. You need your REST. (winks)
Kamui: (not realizing what Seishiro means) I'm still a little tired…
Seishiro: (not realizing that Kamui doesn't realize what he means [A/N: ?]) Well, I guess you can REST here.
Subaru: No! (attempts to escape Seishiro's grasp again, but he has a tight grip on his collar)
Kamui: What's wrong with sleeping?
Subaru: I don't want to SLEEP with him.
Seishiro: (puts an arm around Subaru) That's not what you SAID last night. (he brings his face close to Subaru's)
Subaru: (nervously) This didn't happen to the real Hansel.
Kamui: (finally realizing what's going on, he wraps his arms around Subaru's waist) This didn't happen to the real Goldilocks either.
This Chapter: While Subaru, Hokuto, and Seishiro are out for a walk, someone invades their house looking for…porridge!
Rating: PG-13 for shounen-ai (well, let's just say people get in the sac with the same sex here). Mild swearing, too, but you don't really mind that, do you?
Author's Note: This is madness gone way too far. If this is REALLY stupid to you, it's stupid to me too. I just felt fairy tales needed a face lift.
Fairy Tales Get Messed Up Tokyo Babylon/X Style
Chapter II: Kamui and the Three…um…People
Scene Six:
Kamui: (falls out of his perch atop a tree where he was waiting for them to leave and slinks to the front door) A candy house must have food inside.
He opens the door and steps inside to find a typical medieval cottage interior: a warm fire, large oven, quaint dinette set, two cages hanging from the ceiling large enough to stuff teenagers in, three bowls of porridge sitting humbly on the table…mm…porridge…
Kamui: I love porridge! (plops himself in front of Seishiro's bowl and tests it) Hm…too cold. (he moves to Hokuto's bowl and tests it) Too hot! (tries Subaru's bowl and smiles) Just right! (he gobbles all of the porridge)
Upon finishing the whole bowl, he stands and decides he'd like to sit and watch his favorite morning soap opera, "Their Future Was Preordained". He makes his way towards the telly to find three chairs.
Kamui: (sits in the first one labeled "Seishiro") Too hard on my bony butt. (sits in the next one labeled "Hokuto") Too soft. (sits in the chair labeled "Subaru") Oh…this is…hm…very nice…it's…just right!
After watching "Their Future Was Preordained", Kamui discovers that eating porridge and watching TV can tire out someone with virtually no meat on their bones. As he stands, the chair accidentally breaks. He shrugs and makes his way to the loft where he finds one bed. That bed is labeled "Hokuto". Kamui decides that anything labeled "Hokuto" isn't going to be the best. He has to find the bed labeled "Subaru", which seems to be the ideal label for everything. He goes back to the main floor where he finds a master bedroom. In that bedroom, there is one, king-sized bed labeled "Seishiro and Subaru's Great Love-Making Bed of Passion". Kamui concludes this is the closest he'll come to the comfortable bed worthy of this "Subaru" person, so he takes off his shoes and school uniform (that's all he ever really wears), which means he's only in his undershirt and briefs, and collapses in the bed all snug and warm.
Kamui: (mumbles) I have to meet this Subaru person…
Scene Seven:
A few hours later, Seishiro, Subaru, and Hokuto are just outside the cottage door, ready to enter and eat some yummy porridge!
Subaru: Our porridge is probably growing stuff by now. We shouldn't have taken such a long walk.
Seishiro: Well, if you hadn't tried to run away while Hokuto and I were getting ice cream…
Subaru: I thought Hokuto was going to run too!
Hokuto: Not while we were getting cookie dough ice cream I wasn't! (turns to Seishiro) That's my favorite, you know.
Subaru sighs as he opens the door. They enter to find their porridge bowls tampered with.
Seishiro: (picks up his bowl) Someone's been eating my porridge.
Hokuto: (does the same) Mine too!
Subaru: (stares at his bowl) Someone's been eating my porridge and it's all gone! (his stomach growls) So hungry…
Seishiro: If you hadn't tried to run away while we were getting some nice ramen noodles…
Subaru: I thought Hokuto was going to run too!
Hokuto: Not while we were getting ramen noodles I wasn't! (turns to Seishiro) I love ramen noodles, you know.
Seishiro: (points to his chair) Someone's been sitting in my chair.
Hokuto: (examines the chair, which has no visible signs of having been occupied) How can you tell?
Seishiro: (narrows his eyes) I can smell 'em.
The twins look at each other, confused.
Hokuto: (notices an indentation in her chair) Someone's been sitting in my chair, too.
Subaru: Why is Hokuto's name on the chair?
Seishiro: (smiles) Since you two are staying here awhile, I decided I should label all our stuff.
The twins look at each other again, confused.
Subaru: Hey! Someone's been sitting in my chair and he broke it. (disappointed) I was looking forward to sitting in my chair and watching my favorite soap, "Their Future Was Preordained".
Seishiro: Well, if you hadn't tried to run away while we were watching the taping of an episode…
Subaru: I thought Hokuto was going to run too!
Hokuto: Not while we were watching the taping of my favorite show I wasn't! (to Seishiro) I love that show!
Seishiro: (scratches his chin) I wonder who the perpetrator is.
Subaru: (notices the master bedroom's door is open) Maybe he's in here.
They creep in.
Subaru: (reading the label over the bed) "Seishiro and Subaru's Great Love- Making Bed of Passion"?
Seishiro: (smiles sinisterly) You like?
Hokuto: Shh! (points to the bed) There's someone under the covers.
Kamui: (from under the covers, he mumbles) Subaru…
Hokuto giggles while Subaru blushes.
Seishiro: (abruptly) How dare he… (pokes Kamui with his finger) Wake up!
Kamui: (still asleep) Subaru has the best stuff… (he suddenly wakes just before Seishiro is about the strangle him)
Seishiro: Well, good morning, star shine.
Kamui: (shrieks) Ah! The three bears!
Hokuto: (rolls up her sleeve, ready to beat him) Who you callin' a bear?
Subaru: No! (holds Hokuto back) Don't hurt him. He was just tired and hungry like we were. Let him stay here.
Seishiro: Damn. I was so looking forward to making love to you in that bed, Subaru.
Subaru: Well, if you hadn't run…Never mind.
Kamui: So, you must be Subaru, Seishiro, and Hokuto. (he blushes upon saying Subaru's name)
Subaru: (nods) We are. But what are you doing here?
Seishiro: (interrupts) No time for stories. We're all very tired after our long walk and chasing Subaru after he ran away about ten times. Shall we go to bed?
Hokuto: But it's only two in the afternoon!
Seishiro: (elbows Hokuto and says through his teeth) We're all very TIRED and would like to go to BED, if you catch my drift.
Hokuto: OH! (smiles) Well, I'll see you boys later. (begins to leave) Have fun SLEEPING. (laughs and exits)
Subaru: Hokuto! (tries to run after her) Don't leave me! [A/N: All TB fans should cry right now.]
Seishiro: (grabs Subaru by the collar) Oh, no. You need your REST. (winks)
Kamui: (not realizing what Seishiro means) I'm still a little tired…
Seishiro: (not realizing that Kamui doesn't realize what he means [A/N: ?]) Well, I guess you can REST here.
Subaru: No! (attempts to escape Seishiro's grasp again, but he has a tight grip on his collar)
Kamui: What's wrong with sleeping?
Subaru: I don't want to SLEEP with him.
Seishiro: (puts an arm around Subaru) That's not what you SAID last night. (he brings his face close to Subaru's)
Subaru: (nervously) This didn't happen to the real Hansel.
Kamui: (finally realizing what's going on, he wraps his arms around Subaru's waist) This didn't happen to the real Goldilocks either.