Part the Sixth: It Takes Two

"You immature, stupid, childish, puerile, insensible, idiotic, half-witted brat!!" Legolas raged as he and Sterransen stormed towards the stream. Blood seeped from a cut lip, his knuckles were raw, and he was nursing his jaw, which had been impacted twice in as many days.

"What about you?!" Sterransen (sporting a black eye and a twisted ankle) shouted. "You didn't have to hit me back!"

"You expected me to just stand there and take it?! Not in this Age, brother mine, nor in any to come," rejoined Legolas.

"You were asking for it! 'Prove it'… of all the dumb stunts! Aragorn almost took my head off!"

"No one asked you to come! We were doing fine on our own! Are you trying to babysit me or something? I'm older than you!"

"You certainly didn't act it!" shot back Sterransen.

"Moron!"

"Bully!"

"Wimp!"

"Effeminate elf!"

"You're just jealous because you haven't been getting any!"

"Shut up!"

At that moment, Frodo poked his head through the ferns. "You're both being really daft about this, you know that?"

"Get lost!" As one, both Legolas and Sterransen reached for rocks. Frodo blinked in astonishment and fled.

"Aragorn…" they heard him whine. His voice faded.

"Anyway," Legolas turned back to face his brother, "You started this! Punching me! What happened to upholding the reputation of the elves?"

"I believe that was your idea, not mine. You were the one who insisted on having clean hair," Sterransen replied sourly. He sat down on the edge of the river and dipped his ankle into the flow.

Legolas gingerly splashed water onto his face. His lip was bleeding freely now, and the cold water stung. I'm losing this argument, he thought.

"And you bloody well knew it was me the moment you saw me. I suppose that was your idea of a joke. You have a twisted sense of humour, Legolas," Sterransen was complaining.

"I'm sorry."

"And now Aragorn thinks we're both undergrown, sheltered princelings who can't resist petty spats every other minute."

"I'm sorry."

"He's going to think really highly of you, seeing as…what?" Sterransen broke off, mid-rant.

"I'm sorry," Legolas repeated, striving for, and achieving, patience.

"You… are?" Sterransen flicked a lock of blond hair out of his eyes and regarded his brother suspiciously. "This isn't another joke, is it?"

"No, it's not."

"Well!" he exhaled deeply. "Apology accepted, then."

"How's your ankle?" Legolas asked, gently raising it onto a rock and starting to bandage it with a strip of linen from his already torn shirt.

"I'll live," laughed Sterransen. "This reminds me of when we were young… well, younger than we are now, and…"

At that moment, Aragorn was heard crashing through the underbrush. "Stupid elves," he was muttering, although the so-called 'stupid elves' heard every word. "You'd think Legolas would be mature enough to realise it takes two for an argument to take place. They've probably killed each other, and then where will we be?" He pushed aside a fern and walked towards the river.

"You'd be with a Fellowship of Eight," Legolas teased. "I know your math is bad, Aragorn, but, honestly!"

Aragorn scowled. "Are you always like this? You beat up your brother, then patch him together again before your father notices?"

"Leave him, Aragorn," Sterransen protested. "Our family disputes are our own. And currently there is no quarrel between us. Let sleeping dragons lie."

Aragorn grumbled. Finally he said, "Come on. Let's head back to camp. We're getting ready to move on."

* * * * * * *

"I brought supplies," Sterransen said, reaching into his saddlebags. He unloaded packets of dried mushrooms, small purses of coins, and…

"What's that?" Pippin asked, reaching eagerly for a small blue bottle.

"Mine!" Legolas shouted, snatching it from the hobbit's curious hands. "Don't spill it!"

Sterransen, meanwhile, was cramming yet another blue bottle and two purple ones into Legolas' rucksack. "My present to you, brother. Ambassador of the elves and all that."

Boromir snorted with laughter.

"You find that amusing, Boromir?" questioned Aragorn.

"Ooh!" squealed Merry, recalling something from the depths of his memory. "Last night, you guys came back soaking wet! What were you doing?"

Legolas and Aragorn exchanged looks. "I think you must have been dreaming, Merry," Legolas said innocently.

"Last night? We were…" Boromir began.

Aragorn stepped hard on his foot.

"…Sleeping, of course," Boromir finished awkwardly, hopping backwards.

"Washing your hair, brother mine?" Sterransen stage-whispered in Legolas' ear, in Elvish. "From the looks of it, you did Aragorn and Boromir over as well."

Legolas 'whispered' back, "Now, if only the dwarf would go something about his overgrown facial hair…"

Both of them burst out laughing. Aragorn allowed himself to smile indulgently. "Children…" he prompted. "Shall we be off?"

"Who are you calling a child?" Legolas mock-raged. "For all you know, I could be old enough to be your great-great-great-great-great grandfather!"

"We had this discussion already," Aragorn pointed out. "And I very strongly remember saying that you're not even a hundred."

"What about me?" Sterransen asked. "I could be a thousand!"

"But you're not, are you?" Sam said, astutely. "You're Legolas' younger brother."

Sterransen spat a curse in Elvish and grinned broadly. "I'm eighty-four. Legolas is eighty-seven."

"Let's go!" Aragorn yelled impatiently, from ten metres down the path. "Evil Rings don't destroy themselves, you realise!"

Legolas waved goodbye to his brother as he mounted his horse and turned back in the direction of Rivendell. "Look after the ankle!" he called.

"Keep your hair clean!" came the reply.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, the poets say.

The Fellowship of the Ring took that single step, and began the journey to Mordor.

-fin part six-

Thanks to all (especially AJ Matthews, Markers, Distant Dreamer, Amancirith Carangarien, and Sam, who reviewed) and there will most likely be a delay in the next chapter. I lied earlier.

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings belongs to Tolkien. Sterransen is my own. So are the blue and purple bottles of Herbal Essences, but I sent them to Legolas via Sterransen.