Summary: What happens when you take your favorite fairy tales and add Tokyo
Babylon and X/1999 characters? Pure mayhem!!!
This Chapter: Subaru, Seishiro, Hokuto, and Kamui arrive at Kamui's old house where they find his…very interesting family.
Rating: PG-13 for shounen-ai (well, let's just say people get in the sac with the same sex here). Mild swearing, too, but you don't really mind that, do you?
Author's Note: This is madness gone way too far. If this is REALLY stupid to you, it's stupid to me too. I just felt fairy tales needed a face lift.
Fairy Tales Get Messed Up Tokyo Babylon/X Style
Chapter IV: Hinoto and the Seven…um…People
Scene Twelve:
Subaru, Seishiro, Kamui, and Hokuto are all walking through the woods. Hokuto is carrying a picnic basket and wearing a cute little medieval peasant dress as a fashion statement.
Hokuto: So, how was last night?
Subaru: (blushes) Hokuto!
Seishiro: (laughs) We were like the Three Little Pigs during mating season!
Subaru: Seishiro!
Hokuto: (hangs on Seishiro's arm) Give me all the gory details.
Seishiro: (thinks for a moment, then responds) First, I watched Kamui and Subaru…
Subaru: (shouts) LOOK! (points to a cottage in the distance)
Hokuto: Damn! I'll never hear anything good!
Kamui: That's my house!
Subaru, Hokuto, and Kamui run to the cottage while Seishiro strolls over. [A/N: Seishiro does NOT run.] Kamui knocks on the door.
Kamui: Hinoto! I'm home!
Hinoto: (from inside) Just a moment!
They hear something shuffling across the floor inside, a few chairs and stuff falling over, and a few "ouch"s. The door opens to reveal a blind, deaf, mute girl wearing fancy white robes and with long, silky white hair. She was crawling on her hands and knees and upon "seeing" Kamui, she hugs him around the knees.
Hinoto: Kamui!
Hokuto: Oh my God! Who would leave a blind, deaf, mute, paralyzed girl home alone?
Subaru: And how does she talk?
Hinoto: I communicate through my mind. Don't worry about me, I'm fine alone. (she motions for them to enter)
Scene Thirteen:
After running into about a hundred things, Hinoto instructs them to have a seat at the table where there are eight chairs.
Subaru: Kamui, how could you leave her here by herself?
Hinoto: It's alright, Subaru. I can take care of myself. And I'm not alone all day.
Seishiro: Oh? Who lives here with you?
Suddenly, the group hears singing coming from a distance away. It gradually grows louder until they can hear the distinct lyrics:
Hi ho! Hi ho!
It's off the work we go!
[A/N: A different voice sings each different line]
I work at a school!
I work at a shrine!
I work at McDonalds's!
I go to school!
I work at a strip joint!
Subaru: Who are these people?
Kamui: (begins to cry tears of joy) They're my family.
In walk five people. Upon seeing Kamui, they rush up to him a hug him.
Hokuto: Mind introducing us?
Kamui: Oh, sorry. This is Doc [Aoki], Grumpy [Arashi], Dopey [Sorata], Sneezy [Yuzariha], and Sluty [Karen].
Subaru: Oh no! Not another fairy tale!
Hokuto: Aren't there supposed to be seven of you?
Kamui: Well, I'm the sixth, but we don't have a seventh. (he looks at Subaru)
Subaru: I…am…not…
Seishiro: (grabs Subaru) Damn straight. Let's leave.
Hinoto: Don't you want to stay for dinner?
Seishiro: No, thank you. (he exits with Subaru in his arms and Hokuto right behind them)
Scene Fourteen:
Subaru, Seishiro, and Hokuto are walking back to Seishiro's cottage.
Hokuto: Seishiro, why did you want to leave?
Subaru: Yeah. I wanted to leave, but we haven't done anything I wanted to do this whole fic!
Seishiro: (shrugs) This fic isn't going anywhere, so I decided we should just end it with you and I in our bed making love.
Hokuto: Woo hoo! Talk about going out with a bang! Get it? Bang! (laughs insanely [A/N: so is the author])
Seishiro: (laughs too) Yes. A bang!
Subaru: No! No banging!
Hokuto: (looks at Subaru in disgust) Geez, Subaru, you don't have to call it that!
Seishiro: I agree. That's just poor manners.
Subaru: But you guys…Never mind. (sighs as they enter the cottage)
This Chapter: Subaru, Seishiro, Hokuto, and Kamui arrive at Kamui's old house where they find his…very interesting family.
Rating: PG-13 for shounen-ai (well, let's just say people get in the sac with the same sex here). Mild swearing, too, but you don't really mind that, do you?
Author's Note: This is madness gone way too far. If this is REALLY stupid to you, it's stupid to me too. I just felt fairy tales needed a face lift.
Fairy Tales Get Messed Up Tokyo Babylon/X Style
Chapter IV: Hinoto and the Seven…um…People
Scene Twelve:
Subaru, Seishiro, Kamui, and Hokuto are all walking through the woods. Hokuto is carrying a picnic basket and wearing a cute little medieval peasant dress as a fashion statement.
Hokuto: So, how was last night?
Subaru: (blushes) Hokuto!
Seishiro: (laughs) We were like the Three Little Pigs during mating season!
Subaru: Seishiro!
Hokuto: (hangs on Seishiro's arm) Give me all the gory details.
Seishiro: (thinks for a moment, then responds) First, I watched Kamui and Subaru…
Subaru: (shouts) LOOK! (points to a cottage in the distance)
Hokuto: Damn! I'll never hear anything good!
Kamui: That's my house!
Subaru, Hokuto, and Kamui run to the cottage while Seishiro strolls over. [A/N: Seishiro does NOT run.] Kamui knocks on the door.
Kamui: Hinoto! I'm home!
Hinoto: (from inside) Just a moment!
They hear something shuffling across the floor inside, a few chairs and stuff falling over, and a few "ouch"s. The door opens to reveal a blind, deaf, mute girl wearing fancy white robes and with long, silky white hair. She was crawling on her hands and knees and upon "seeing" Kamui, she hugs him around the knees.
Hinoto: Kamui!
Hokuto: Oh my God! Who would leave a blind, deaf, mute, paralyzed girl home alone?
Subaru: And how does she talk?
Hinoto: I communicate through my mind. Don't worry about me, I'm fine alone. (she motions for them to enter)
Scene Thirteen:
After running into about a hundred things, Hinoto instructs them to have a seat at the table where there are eight chairs.
Subaru: Kamui, how could you leave her here by herself?
Hinoto: It's alright, Subaru. I can take care of myself. And I'm not alone all day.
Seishiro: Oh? Who lives here with you?
Suddenly, the group hears singing coming from a distance away. It gradually grows louder until they can hear the distinct lyrics:
Hi ho! Hi ho!
It's off the work we go!
[A/N: A different voice sings each different line]
I work at a school!
I work at a shrine!
I work at McDonalds's!
I go to school!
I work at a strip joint!
Subaru: Who are these people?
Kamui: (begins to cry tears of joy) They're my family.
In walk five people. Upon seeing Kamui, they rush up to him a hug him.
Hokuto: Mind introducing us?
Kamui: Oh, sorry. This is Doc [Aoki], Grumpy [Arashi], Dopey [Sorata], Sneezy [Yuzariha], and Sluty [Karen].
Subaru: Oh no! Not another fairy tale!
Hokuto: Aren't there supposed to be seven of you?
Kamui: Well, I'm the sixth, but we don't have a seventh. (he looks at Subaru)
Subaru: I…am…not…
Seishiro: (grabs Subaru) Damn straight. Let's leave.
Hinoto: Don't you want to stay for dinner?
Seishiro: No, thank you. (he exits with Subaru in his arms and Hokuto right behind them)
Scene Fourteen:
Subaru, Seishiro, and Hokuto are walking back to Seishiro's cottage.
Hokuto: Seishiro, why did you want to leave?
Subaru: Yeah. I wanted to leave, but we haven't done anything I wanted to do this whole fic!
Seishiro: (shrugs) This fic isn't going anywhere, so I decided we should just end it with you and I in our bed making love.
Hokuto: Woo hoo! Talk about going out with a bang! Get it? Bang! (laughs insanely [A/N: so is the author])
Seishiro: (laughs too) Yes. A bang!
Subaru: No! No banging!
Hokuto: (looks at Subaru in disgust) Geez, Subaru, you don't have to call it that!
Seishiro: I agree. That's just poor manners.
Subaru: But you guys…Never mind. (sighs as they enter the cottage)