By Admiral Albia
Author's note; Eep! It was never meant to reach three chapters! I don't have a plot! Anyway, they're off to see East Asia...
Oh yeah... thanks to Blue Seeress for giving me the `spandex space; the final frontier` line ^_^
Warnings; Mild 2+1. Not sure if that'll change to 1+2+1, but ya never know... incidentally, though, I'm crap at writing romance so don't expect anything major developing.
Disclaimer; I own nothing. Not even the plot. Wish I had some of those slides of Duo's though...
Chapter Three
"Spandex space... the final frontier. These are the
scientists of the Winner Corp. Tour Bus, whose mission -" Duo paused to
snap his fingers in front of Quatre's face "- not in that sense, baka -
is to boldly go where no man has gone before... down Heero Yuy's trousers."
He gave a little shudder at the thought of it. "We would say no woman,
but you never know with Relena. And one child has definitely been down
there, because technically Heero was a -"
"I think... we'll leave it there, Duo..." Quatre
croaked. "Please?"
"But just think... Heero's shorts... we're going
down Heero's shorts..."
"What happens if he's thrown them away?" Someone
said from behind them.
"We can still ask him how they work," Duo said lazily,
before he registered the question. "Whoa! Are we talking about the same
Heero here?"
The scientists sweatdropped collectively.
"No. Well, I got a letter from Trowa..."
"Oh, was that what the blank piece of paper was?"
"Yeah."
"That explains it."
"What about you?" Heero shrugged, and produced a sheaf of papers from his shorts.
"Duo, Duo, Duo, Quatre; looks like he couldn't find me as it's forwarded from Duo, Duo, Duo... and, er, Duo." He sighed. "And I thought he was annoying in person."
"He writes a lot, doesn't he?"
"He writes the same way he talks," Heero snorted. "Lots of words and no content. I feel sorry for Dr G... imagine having to read mission reports like this!" Scowling, he chose a piece of paper at random and ripped it in two. As the pages floated gently on the breeze, Wufei said quietly;
"Uh... Heero? That was Quatre's."
"Damnit."
"I thought it was `smile, smile, smile`," Fred Hughes said. Duo shrugged.
"It would be, but we're talking about Heero here."
"I'm beginning to wonder about our safety tracking this guy down," an anonymous mutter was heard.
"Don't worry, you're safe as long as he gives you a death threat."
"Uh... pardon?"
"The only people Heero's ever killed are the ones he didn't warn first," Quatre explained. "If he points a gun at you, glares and says `I'll kill you`, whatever language it's in, you're safe."
"Ah..."
"I'm now beginning to wonder about this guy's sanity," the same anonymous voice said.
"He's perfectly sane, Henry," Quatre said calmly. Duo choked, and pulled Quatre towards him.
"Quatre... we are talking about the same Heero, aren't we..."
"Yes."
"The suicidal one who speaks in grunts, spends all his time on his laptop, would never let anyone touch his Gundam, pulls a gun on people for no reason at all and gets stalked by the Queen of the World?"
"That last one isn't his fault," Quatre pointed out in a whisper.
"You know what I mean."
"Oh, fine, point taken. OK, everyone, Duo has just reminded me of a few of Heero's small foibles..."
"SMALL FOIBLES?"
"OK, OK, big foibles... oh, fine, I admit it, he's slightly loony."
"SLIGHTLY?"
"All right! The boy's a maniac! Happy now, Duo?"
"Well, I'd've said `psycho`, myself, but... kidding, I was kidding... hey, looks like that circus guy's broken down. can we stop and help him?" Quatre peered out of the window, and nodded.
"Definitely. I don' think he'd ever forgive us if we didn't?"
"Why not?"
"Because it's TROWA! HEY! TROWA! OVER HERE!"
*sigh* I had to pull him in, didn't I...
Well, in case nobody noticed, this chapter was more or less completely pointless. The only plot detail wasn't even meant to go in until about three chapters later on... ah well... next chapter they'll hook up with Heero and Wufei... I hope...
Whatever, review please! Otherwise I'll substitute Heero for Arnold the Elf, and while I'm sure Heero and Arnold wouldn't mind, Duo would be devastated... as would Relena and Alice, when they glomped the wrong stalkee/brother... ACK! I'm rambling! Review please...