Josie's Gift
She had a lot to do before time ran out on her. She was calling in every favor ever owed to her and with twenty years in Section One, she was owed a lot. Being the best cold ops, team leader and section director, she had a lot to collect. Plus her exceptional abilities had allowed her to do special missions for personnel all the way up the chain of command. Everybody owed her- including the Director of the Agency. She wasn't about to let those go to waste.
The older, yet striking woman strolled through Section One. Most were too young to know her. Those who did were not yet around. But the young ones knew there was a hint of familiarity about the woman. She reminded them of someone they knew. If they had known her name, they all would have known her by reputation.
Operations and Madeline had been told someone was coming, but neither were prepared for her.
Michael and Nikita had the next two days off and were just leaving when they saw her. Michael knew who she was.
"Michael. You must be Nikita," the woman said, allowing a slight smile to grace her face.
Nikita took her in. She was well aware of the fact that the woman reminded her of someone, but could not yet place who.
Michael smiled a genuine smile. Nikita was surprised.
"Josie. It is good to see you're still alive." Michael spoke. "Yes this is Nikita. Nikita-Josie."
Nikita knew the name- she had heard a bit about this operative. She was a legend.
"Nice to meet you." Nikita answered, smiling. Maybe she can tell me a little about Michael- she would know something!
"I need to talk to both of you-- but not here. Follow me, please," Josie almost commanded. There was a lot she needed to tell them and they had to leave now.
Josie knew it was Operations and Madeline's few seconds of shock that allowed her to leave- she was supposed to be on close quarter standby.
She lead them through town and down to the shore. Then she lead them through caves until she was sure no one was following them.
"Sorry about that. What I have to tell you is personal. Section ears do not need to hear this." Josie apologized. "Please sit. I know you are both wondering what is going on." She could see that Nikita was wondering and she knew from experience that Michael was too, but he would never show it.
"What I have to say is about the two of you. I have little time left- which I will explain later. Michael you know my abilities. Nikita I'm sure you've heard the rumor of my talents. For now, all you need to know is that I have been around Section more than twenty years. I was one of the best cold ops and team leaders. Michael is getting there. Because of that, many people in Section's chain of command used my abilities for personal reasons. Nikita, you understand what I am saying. So now everyone owes me. I am calling in all of my favors now. Neither of you owe me. That's not why I'm here. You two are a good part of the reason I am calling in my favors. The other part is selfish. You two have a special gift, something I have had twice in my life and I let it slip way both times. I never had the chance to cherish it. I am giving you that chance. I have been on both sides. I have been in both of your positions. Nikita, I have heard a lot about you and can see it in your eyes. Michael, I have known you a long time and can tell by your actions. You love each other. Michael, you feel Section would destroy this like Simone. I understand. I can guarantee they won't. Section life isn't easy. It takes the heart and soul from those who aren't careful. You two are careful. Michael, you try to hide it, deny it, but you do still have them. Nikita helps to bring them to life. Soon, in regard to her, you won't be able to deny them.
"When I was a new recruit, I was in Nikita's position. My trainer and I developed a very close relationship. I loved him. He was much like you, Michael. He knew Section rules and followed them. He lied, he manipulated, until I could no longer trust him. Following Section goals destroyed our relationship with help from Operations. The one then, not now. But Nicholas protected me like Michael does you, Nikita. Back then I didn't completely understand that. I did much later. So I stopped allowing Nicholas to have the power to hurt me. I distanced myself from him and became friends with another operative more like myself, Andrew. I refused to see that my pushing away Nicholas was hurting him. He didn't allow me to see it. Then we had a mission. Things went wrong and Nicholas saved my life. He took a bullet meant for me. It was then that he told me the truth of his feelings. He loved me, but was scared. He needed me alive and he feared Section would cancel me, so he protected me the only way he saw how. He pushed me away. And Section would have canceled me. We both knew it. I saw then what our relationship was. I saw how he protected me, how he needed me, how he hurt me but saved me. And I saw how Section had destroyed something that would have made it stronger for we worked better together than apart. Nicholas died and for a long time I wanted to. Why I was never canceled, I still do not know. But I realized Nicholas had died to save me. He wanted me alive, so I vowed to myself that I would not be canceled. He had once protected me from cancellation, so now I would protect myself. I became the best, all the while vowing that I would not do as Nicholas had done. I would not push someone away to protect them without telling them, without trying to make them see the truth. I worked hard and then came my trainees. One, Michael, became my Nikita. We had a rocky relationship, much like yours. It progressed like mine with Nicholas. By the time I had met Alex, I had hardened my heart and soul. I couldn't operate with them, until Alex began to change that. I protected Alex the way Nicholas had me, I pushed him away. I did what I had once, years before, vowed not to. Until I finally realized what I was doing. Carefully, mindful of Section and my own fragile heart, I let Alex in. I told him about Nicholas. My telling him about Nicholas had Alex thinking that I loved only Nicholas and could love no other. About the same time, Hunter, the head of the European Section in the UK, saw what was happening between us. He started to use my feelings for Alex against me, forcing me to lie, manipulate him or cancel him. I was too valuable to be canceled without good reason. With deep regret, I manipulated Alex, saving his life because I needed him alive, even if he hated me. But I succeeded in doing something else. I had pushed him away for good. He was transferred soon after, never realizing what I did for him, how I protected him. He died on a mission.
"Michael, you are protecting Nikita, but you are also pushing her away. Soon, you will loose her. I know. I have been there. The only way to save her and yourself is to explain, to tell her the truth. Nikita, you must trust your heart and see what is going on around you. Section One is not normal life, nor is it easy. Emotions will get you killed or get others killed. Life is no longer black and white, it is shades of grey. And love rarely conquers all. Good is questionable and so is evil. That is Section truth. Feelings are weaknesses and seldom strengths. Michael can't survive without you, but showing, acting on those feelings will kill you. That is something he can't allow. Look beyond the actions to the reasons-- that is what is important. But the most important thing is to trust your heart and soul and what they tell you. They are the things that never lie-- the only things. Trust in yourself and in Michael. It is hard. Section does everything possible to destroy that trust, but you must try.
"Operations and Madeline, or at least Operations, sees you, Nikita, as Michael's weakness. He tries to destroy your relationship without realizing that he is destroying Michael too. I want to think that Madeline has seen that Nikita is your strength, but I can't be certain. Soon, they both will be forced to see it and live with it.
"Everyone, including the Director, is under orders to see that no one bothers you. Keep the relationship out of Section and you will be fine. I know you both understand that personal feelings and displays of extreme emotion don't belong in the work place. Care and concern are fine, but making out isn't good." There was a smile on Josie's face then. "I know you can both handle it. You must be careful, because one day, someone will try to use the relationship against you. You both will be vulnerable, but Nikita, you will be more so. Michael knows too much, more than he should. But if he were grabbed, you will have to remember his training. Going off on emotions will get you killed. But all that can be worked out later. You two need to talk. It is your choice. I have just give you the opportunity to do as you choose.
"I need to get back. I'm sure Operations and Madeline are looking for me. Sit and talk, think and decide." Josie talked for a long time.
She hugged them both, urging Michael to tell Nikita his past with her eyes.
Josie turned and walked back to Section One.
Nikita and Michael watched her walk away.
"Something is wrong Michael. I can feel it. Something is wrong with Josie. It's like she's getting ready to die," Nikita whispered.
Michael nodded. That was his thought also. Then he smiled. Nikita would make a good replacement for Madeline some day. They would run Section well together. His thoughts turned back to Josie's eyes. She had told him he didn't owe her. She was wrong. In his eyes, he owed her. She had told him about Simone. So softly, he started to tell Nikita some of his life.
He told her a little about his life before Section and how he came to Section. Slowly, once he started, it was so easy to continue talking to her.
Nikita was shocked, but remained silent. Gently, she drew him against her, offering her silent presence.
Hours later, Nikita's growling stomach ended their quiet sharing.
They laughed and headed towards a nearby cafe.
Once they had eaten, Nikita spoke quietly. "Are you going to go back to the old Michael, or are you going to do as Josie urged us to? I need to know. I need to know if you are going to push me away again or if you are going to be with me after hours. I can't take how it was between us since my return. Josie was right. You were loosing me, Michael."
"I know, Nikita, I know. I couldn't see any other way to keep you alive. I can't go back, Nikita. Before, you got through my defenses, but I could always rebuild. But now, now I let you in and there is no rebuilding. At Section, I won't be as open, I may revert to old behavior, but know that I do love you. Without you, there is no me. I can't detach myself from you. I never could. I may have never let it show, but you always could get through my defenses. I did what I had to to keep you alive and around because I knew, even if you hated me, I needed you around. You are my light, Nikita. Always know that. There will be times when I have to lie to you or manipulate you because of Section. You must know that I hate having to, that I hate hurting you, but it is necessary." Michael answered softly, holding her close.
A few seconds later, the silence was broken by the ringing of Michael's cell phone.
"Michael," he clipped.
"I see. We will be in," he agreed a moment later and disconnected.
Nikita questioned him with her eyes.
"Josie is under close quarters. She has been since the moment she arrived," Michael stated.
"But..." Nikita started and stopped. Her eyes opened wide as realization dawned. "We need to get to Section!!"
Michael smiled and they headed back. They got some strange looks as they had the next two days off, but they ignored them. They headed straight to where Birkoff told them Josie was.
"Josie, why now? Why break close quarter orders for this? I know something is wrong." Nikita spoke quietly from the doorway. Michael was behind her.
"You told her, well are starting to." Josie spoke, ignoring Nikita's question for the moment.
Michael nodded slightly.
"Good. You didn't owe me, though, Michael. You never did. But I am glad you talked." Josie spoke again. "Come in and shut the door."
Josie was quiet for a moment.
"I have been on close quarter standby since I arrived here. I did break it to talk to you. Talking to you was more important to me. You are right, Nikita. I am dying. Cancer. The doctors say I have a few months. I say a few days, maybe a week or two. No one knows this. No one is to know this. Later, when rumors fly, you may tell Walter and Birkoff the truth, but no one else, especially Operations. We never did get along. When I found out, it brought a lot of things to mind, mostly my broken dreams. Then I remembered you. I knew that I had a chance, one last chance, to get this right. So I came here. Through you, I can get this right. I blew my two chances. Don't blow yours. You have a lot of work a head of you. You will have problems, but Section is out of the way. Even after I am gone, they will stay out of this. They all owe me that much. Others will keep the pressure on. Make the most of this. Later on, years from now, you two will run Section One. You will have the opportunity to change Section. And you will do good running Section together. You will need each other, much like Operations and Madeline need each other."
"Thank you, Josie," Michael whispered.
"Thanks," Nikita replied and motioned Michael that they should leave. "Rest, friend."
Michael was a head of Nikita. He didn't see Madeline.
"She's resting, Madeline." Nikita said softly. She realized then who Josie reminded her of. "Work it out, Madeline, while you have the time."
Madeline showed her shock at Nikita's insight.
"Good luck," they whispered to each other before Madeline entered Josie's room and Nikita moved to catch up with Michael.
"Let's go home, Michael," Nikita requested when she caught up with him.
They ended up at his house after a quick stop at her apartment.
There they talked more and for the first time, Michael made love to Nikita since she had returned to Section.
Two days suddenly passed like two hours.
Nikita saw Madeline early and saw a new clearness in the woman's eyes.
"I'm glad you worked it out with Josie," Nikita told her with a small smile.
"So am I," Madeline answered and then answered the question Nikita would never ask. "She is my older sister."
Nikita nodded and headed on.
It was business as usual at Section for the next two days. Trackers were searching for Josie, but couldn't find anything. Michael, Nikita and Madeline knew they never would.
Josie had talked to Madeline and then she left. She wouldn't die in Section.
They were in the middle of a mission briefing when Madeline and Nikita looked at each other. Josie was gone, they knew it.
"I'm sorry, Madeline," Nikita whispered after the briefing.
Michael heard her words and wondered at them. He grew even more curious with Madeline's reply.
"I'm not. She's happy now," Madeline responded with a small smile and headed out.
"What's going on Nikita?" Michael asked in his office a few minutes later.
"Josie's gone," she answered simply.
Michael stared at her for a moment, not comprehending. Then it dawned on him.
"That's why you and Madeline looked at each other during the briefing," Michael spoke.
"Yes, we both knew. She was Madeline's older sister." Nikita answered.
That small piece of information shocked Michael and he could not hide his shock.
"Michael, what Josie did for us, we must keep alive. We must never forget what she did. This is as much for her as for us." Nikita whispered.
And then, for a single moment, they held each other, grieving. But they had a mission and life goes on in Section. Josie, they knew, understood.
It was after the mission that Nikita and Michael called Birkoff and Walter into Michael's office to talk.
"I know you two have heard the rumors flying about Josie's death. She wanted us to tell you, to explain the truth." Nikita spoke. She went on to tell the actual truth, the way Josie died.
Birkoff and Walter were silent.
Michael spoke then. "She wanted you two and no one else to know. You are not to say a word of this to anyone."
"I will cancel you personally if you do," Nikita's voice was harsh. She surprised everyone with her words. She had known Josie the shortest, but she was forever in debt to her for her gift.
Walter and Birkoff were leaving when Nikita stopped Walter. "Madeline knows the truth, Walter. She and Josie talked before she left." Nikita whispered and Walter smiled.
It was many years later. Nikita had taken over Madeline's position and Michael was known as Operations now. Walter was gone. Both missed him as did Birkoff. Birkoff was still the computer genius that ran Section.
Nikita looked over Section from the Tower. Watching the operatives, she knew many saw her and Michael as she had once seen Madeline and Operations. She knew it couldn't be helped, so she had accepted it long ago.
But things had changed some what, as Josie had said they would. Section One remained in many ways the same, but she and Michael had strengthened it. Instead of focusing on creating 'soulless', perfect machines, Nikita fostered loyalty between teams and partners. The tests Madeline and Operations had put her and Michael through were no longer the norm.
There were still lies and manipulations. There was no room for failure. But Nikita and Michael recognized the teams that worked well together, better than separately and allowed them.
It wasn't an easy life and it never would be. Section One was still a 'hell', but things were changing slowly.
Nikita smiled as Michael- Operations, she corrected her mind- came into view. Contrary to everyone's thoughts and hopes, their love had never died. And she cherished Josie's gift everyday. She still thought of Michael as Michael, but she only called him that at home. Here, at Section, he was Operations.
Michael found her watching over the operatives and smiled. She had long ago told him she would never bring a child into Section. But he knew she viewed these operatives as her children. She never had learned to stop her emotions and he loved her for it.
"They are going to be perfect," she whispered to him as their eyes went to the two they had selected to take over for them one day. Nikita had known it the moment she saw them. It took her a while to convince Michael, but now he saw it too.
"Yes, they will, but they still have a lot to go before they do," he smiled and put his arm around her shoulders.
Together they watched over their brood.
Two on the floor smiled at the sight of Operations and Nikita.
"Someday, that will be us," the young woman told the slightly older man. "Someday we will run Section and change it even more. And we will stand up there watching over our brood."
The man just shook his head, but he knew better than to argue. She was always right.
The End