Memories- Part 10- Jordan's solo hike
Disclaimer- I do not own any higher Ground Characters. I do own Jordan Thomas, his brother and Sister- Dillion and Hailey Jade, His step dad and mom- Jackson and Kendra, His grandmother and Grandfather- Holly and Jacob Hart. And also most important Jordan's dad Matthew.
I also don't own the poem in here for Journal Activity 11. It was written by Emily Dickinson if no body knew that.
I also don't own the t.v. shows "Shirt tales", "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood" "The Snorks" the Toys- Crayola crayons, Koosh Products, etc.
In this chapter- Jordan's solo hike, it's a bit hard on him to say the least.
It's been a long time since the last one. I know it's been forever, a month and a half almost. I know. Sorry. Writers block. Sorry. :( Well here it is. I might replace this chapter later though.
Okay Okay just one more thing to say, I think this was worth the 2 month wait. It's over 15 pages long in word in Times New Roman Font. Hehehe. Way to much boring time on my hands right? :) Enjoy and Review
SUPPLY ROOM
Jordan stood getting the last of the things he needed for his expedition. He was glad to be going on this quest alone. He loved the mountains. It was the one thing he had of his dad's that his mom hadn't spoiled for him. That was the one thing they had had for themselves. Matthew had taken Jordan hiking and camping since Jordan was little. It was a skill he had never forgotten and getting to do it now was one of the benefits of going to Horizon.
"Are you Ready Jordan?" Peter called from outside.
"Just a minute." Jordan said as he grabbed a safety harness, a rope clasp and a climbing cord, and threw them in his pack. He was ready to go.
Sophie and Peter met him outside the shed. They had a package in their hands. Jordan looked at it and wondered what it was. He hadn't heard much about the solo hikes since the others were practically sworn to secrecy about it. He wished he knew what was up.
"I'm ready." He said, hoping he really was ready to go.
"Okay." Sophie said and led the way towards the woods, and the path that took them to the solo hike campsites.
LATER ON-
Jordan sat on a rock. The package in his hands. He had finished setting up his camp, with the tent and fire and all. He looked at the package in his hands. It was a normal package you would expect to get in the mail. You know, a box wrapped in brown paper. With the Address and stamps and string tying it all up. But Jordan just stared at it. He wondered what sick twisted thing his mom and Jackson were thinking of doing to him next. He wasn't living with them anymore but his fear was. He started to pull away the wrapping.
"I can't." he said. He had heard that during solo hikes unwrapping the package to see what you received was supposed to be the most fun. But Jordan was resisting the urge to open it. He couldn't. To much was weighing on opening that simple package. He couldn't take it. Jordan got sick to his stomach. He put his head between his legs and threw up. Something he hadn't done out of fear in a long time.
Jordan put the Box on the ground and got up. He grabbed the climbing supplies and left his camp site.
Hiking through the woods to the rocks he wanted was fun for Jordan. He breathed in the fresh mountain air and the sent of the pine needles. It was great. Memories flooded back to him.
*****FLASHBACK*****
5-year-old Jordan ran ahead of his dad and the rest of the group with them. They were camping for the first time of the summer. Though Jordan enjoyed camping in the winter and spring, summer camping was the best.
"Come on guys, come on," Jordan whined, as he waved to the others.
Matthew ran up and grasped his son by the waste, camping pack and all. He spun him around and Jordan was laughing hysterically. He loved his dad.
"So ready to set up are we?" Matthew asked with a mischievous smile. Jordan saw it and laughed.
"What?" Matthew asked innocently reaching into his pockets.
"Daddy. What are you doing?" Jordan asked laughing.
Matthew started whistling that whistle that people do when they are trying to annoy someone.
"What?" Jordan whined. "Tell me, tell me!"
"I just thought we could go climbing first." Matthew said to his son, who's eyes suddenly lit up. "I hear they have great rock faces up here."
"YEA!" Jordan screamed happily, he hugged his dad by the waist.
Matthew had started teaching Jordan to climb when he was still a baby, that way Jordan would have no fear of heights or climbing later. Matthew and he did it all the time. And Jordan was getting really good at it.
***** END FLASHBACK******
Jordan snapped out of his daydream. He loved his dad and thinking back at that memory made him happy and sad at the same time.
"I miss you daddy." He whispered softly to the wind. He set his book bag on the ground and picked out the purple Journal he had been given for his solo hike. He opened it and searched for a question that would be 'safe" to answer. Safe meaning nothing incrimination could come out of it. He didn't want that happening, did he?
Jordan flipped through the pages. He came upon a question.
5. Name one time you felt truly happy, this could be a memory the gift you got brings back or something else....
" I think the one time I felt truly happy. "Jordan wrote. "Was when I was with my dad. We used to go camping. He was the one that taught me to climb. And when I do, I feel like he is still there watching me, even after he died. When he was sick the thing I missed most was being alone with him, without mom, or Dillion, or Hailey Jade. Just me and him. And being alone now is like that. I'm sitting in front of this rock face and am about to climb and it comes back to me, being with him. His hands guiding me on the rock, showing me the best ways to grip. All of that. When I lit the fire at camp I remember watching him do it and trying to show me how but I was to little to play with fire myself." He stopped writing. A smile was on his face.
Jordan put the Journal back. "1 question down, 14 to go." He said, disappointment in his voice.
He got the gear out of his pack and set up to climb.
LATER ON...
Jordan sat on the rock again. He knew he had to face what was in that box. And after throwing up he didn't want to feel defeated by his mom and Jackson when they weren't even there. He hated the power they had over him sometimes. Even thousands of miles away it still felt like they were watching over him. He was living in constant fear and he knew it. But there was nothing he could do about it. Telling wasn't, and had never been an option for him.
And the fact that he hadn't really seen what was in the box and it bothered him made him hate himself a bit too. He felt he was a chicken and it was something he needed to do. He picked up the box and tour out the tissue paper. Placing in next to him. From the box he pulled out a smaller package, and a 3 pictures.
Jordan looked at the pictures first. The first one was of Dillion, Hailey, his mom, Jackson and him. It was taken shortly before his brother and sister were taken away.
"A perfect family." Jordan said sarcastically and bitterly. He looked at the plastered smiles on everyone's faces. The photographers had had to take 3 takes of the picture before everyone smiled. Mainly Jordan, Jackson had threatened him before they had gone into the studio and then kept squeezing his arm until he smiled. Jordan had gotten beaten up that night, breaking the arm that Jackson had been squeezing. But a photo would never show a family like that would it? Jordan thought to himself.
The next was another family picture. It was taken when Jordan was 5. His dad had been in this one. So had his mom. His dad's face was crossed out with a big black X in a circle around his dad's face. His mom had done
The next picture was of Jordan alone. It was taken right before he had come to Horizon. Bruises were still fresh on his face. Jordan could feel them now. His "parents" had always liked seeing Jordan bruised. 'To admire their handy work." His mom had once said. Jordan turned the photograph over.
"Dear Son, Just a little trip down memory lane. How bout it?" It was his mother's handwriting. "See what happens to bad boys. Hope you remember that. Or else you'll need to be taught another lesson. Your mother and father."
Jordan looked at the words again. 'Father' he thought bitterly. 'Never.' He said out loud as he crumbled up the photo and threw it into the fire. The smell of burning photographs filled the air and Jordan gasped for breath as memories fled back to him. He had smelt that smell before.
***************FLASHBACK*********************
Young Jordan stood crying. His mom was throwing away all of daddy's pictures. All the ones of daddy and him, and of daddy and mom, and daddy and the mountains where he had taught Jordan how to climb. And mom was burning them and Jordan couldn't understand why.
"Stop please mommy." Jordan said crying. He knew pictures were all he had left.
But his mom didn't stop, the smell of the burning photos was filling the room as the pictures melted in the fire. Jordan watched.
"Why does mommy have to be so mean?" Jordan asked, he felt hate for her then, for doing this to him and his dad.
Jordan watched the fire dance. The fumes were making him sick to his stomach, he felt like he was going to throw up. But something kept him planted there he couldn't move.
"Mommy, Please." He begged again and again, screaming through his tears.
"Shut up." Kendra screamed in the little boy's face. Jordan could smell the liquor on her breath. She had been drinking again.
"Please..." be begged again. But was met only with a hard smack with the back of his mom's hand.
"I said shut the heck up." She screamed at him taking a drink from a glass, of what Jordan didn't know.
Jordan waited till his mom was looking away to grab the top most pictures off the pile. They were luckily the 2 that he wanted the most. The one of him and his dad camping, the other of him, his dad and brother and sister. The other one had him and his dad and mom on it.
He snuck them under his shirt, the two most important first. Then the other and he was going to grab another picture when his mom caught him.
"What do you think your doing?" She said grabbing his wrist with her free hand, and squeezing it tight. She pulled him over to her, Jordan was crying now.
"Answer me." She said twisting his arm.
"No.. nothing." Jordan said crying, biting his lip with the pain.
"It doesn't look like nothing." She said twisting his arm more, moving him closer to the burning fire place.
Jordan gagged. He felt the food in his stomach coming up, The smell was so nauseating, but he couldn't and he swallowed it back.
Kendra moved Jordan's hand with the photograph in it closer to the fire.
"Give me one reason I shouldn't burn you." She said.
Jordan screamed, he could feel the heat on his hand. "Please mommy. Don't please." He begged some more.
This time his begging worked. She moved him over. But then punched the little boy in the stomach. He fell like a bag of bricks. She laughed. Jordan cried. Curling into a little ball so his mom couldn't hurt him again. She laughed again, threw the rest of the pictures into the fire and leaving him there.
****** END FLASHBACK *******
Jordan was breathing hard after that. He looked in the box. Inside was a small package. He almost didn't want to see what it was. But something made him open it. Inside was a small stuffed lion. A simple furry lion. Jordan felt tears rush to his eyes. He wiped them quickly away.
"Don't cry you wus." He whispered harshly to himself.
His dad had given Jordan the lion when he was sick. Near the end when his dad could barely get out of bed any more, and the time when mom started acting 'funny'.
"Daddy." Jordan whispered softly again and held back the tears.
He opened the Journal.
10. What is one memory that something in your package brings back to you?
"In my package was my stuffed lion. Daddy got him for me when he was sick. After I told him I didn't want him to leave me ever. Cause I knew he would be gone soon. He got me the lion and I remember him saying 'This is for you to be brave Jordan. When I'm gone and things get bad, which they will at times in live, I want you to take this lion and remember me. He'll make you strong and I'll be with you.' I cried when he said that. A couple weeks later he went to the hospital for a check up and the cancer had spread. It was the end. Mom knew it, dad knew it, I knew it. I just couldn't face it. The lion helped me feel better. I had it with me when dad died. I cried with it...
Jordan dropped his pen. He couldn't write anymore. He kept having another image popping into his head, and not a happy one either.
*****************FLASHBACK************************************8
Jordan had to be 7 by now. Right after Jackson moved in and he and Kendra started drinking and hitting him. Jackson threw the little boy in a closet. Jordan hated closed spaces, and now since his dad died he was afraid of the dark. Jackson knew it and thrived on the little boy's fear.
"Get in there and shut up.' He said. "And your not coming out until you learn your lesson." He threw the lion at Jordan.
"And if I or your mother hear a single peep out of you, you know what's gonna happen with your precious little lion?"
Jordan shook his head no and cried.
"He's gonna die." Jackson said and slammed the door.
Jordan sat there silently for as long as he could. He tried to think of nice things. Like daddy and the mountains and Baby Hailey and Dillion, anything. And it was working. Finally the closet door opened. It had been hours. He didn't know. But Jackson didn't say he could come out he just took the lion.
"I heard something." He said.
"No...No I didn't do anything." Jordan cried.
But Jackson just laughed. He twisted the lions head around and around. Jordan closed his eyes.
******************FLASHBACK ENDED**********************
Jordan blinked. He wanted the image gone from his head. Suddenly he was tired.
But he couldn't sleep, not yet. It was still light out and the fire needed to be allowed to grow a bit more first. He opened his Journal to another page.
7. What is one feeling this solo hike brings up?
Jordan looked at the question. 'Fear' he thought to himself. But he knew he couldn't write it. Especially if Sophie or Peter were reading it. To many questions that Jordan didn't want to and couldn't answer without severe consequences. 'Make something up.' He thought. He did it all the time.
"This solo makes me feel at peace with myself. Here alone in nature I get to connect with the earth as one. Even more so than on a quest. I have time to myself to think. Which is good. So I feel in union with myself. And that is a good feeling."
'What a load of Crap.' He said out loud. That's what it was a bunch of Garbage.
He tried to find a better question. One that he could answer at least half truthfully. Jordan inside really hated lying. But lies kept you safe from the people that could really hurt you. They kept him safe.
1. What are the things in your package?
"Some pictures of my family and a stuffed lion my dad gave me when he got sick. All of It is from my childhood.
2. Look around your campsite. Does it feel different being on a solo than a quest.
"Yeah it does. Really different. I'm all alone and that is good. I like to be by myself for a change without all these people bugging me half to death. Which gets sooooo annoying."
4. What is one happy memory from your childhood?
"Probably camping with my dad. We did that a lot. It meant we could be together alone and not worry about anyone else being with us which was always good. That meant no mom or Hailey or Dillion or anyone. It was great to be alone with him. He taught me all this cool stuff. Like climbing and hiking and making fires and tents and stuff. I loved being with him more than anything else in the world. Except maybe dad himself and Hailey and Dillion.
7. What is one sad memory from your childhood?
"My dad dying. I was 6 when he died and it shattered my world for a while. I was lost without him there. I would go looking for him and he wasn't there and for a while I thought I heard him or saw him. But I knew I didn't. Eventually I stopped looking for him and knew he was gone. Life went back to normal I guess. I mean as normal as possible after what happened. But I still felt empty inside.'
'At least part of it's true.' Jordan said out loud. All of it actually except the part about normal. It was at least safe enough to write.
MEANWHILE AT THE SOLO HIKE CABIN (couldn't think of a better name)
Peter and Sophie sat drinking coffee. It was beginning to get dark outside. And they were enjoying the quietness of being alone.
'How do you think he's doing." Sophie said suddenly, looking out the small window in the cabin.
"Who?" Peter asked, striking up conversation.
"You know who." Sophie said. "Jordan."
"I think he's fine. As fine as you can be on a solo." He added softly.
Sophie knew what he ment and sighed.
BACK AT THE SOLO SITE- later that night
Jordan was ready to go to sleep, The solo hike so far had tired him out. It was still early but he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He decided he would take one more Journal activity before going to sleep.
11. What is one thing that comes to your mind during your hike?
Jordan thought for a moment. He took a deep breath and breathed in the cool mountain air. A remembrance of a poem filled his mind.
"Sitting here I am reminded of a poem by Emily Dickinson. ' This is my letter to the world that never wrote to me. The simple news that nature told with tender majesty. Her message is committed to hands I can not see: For love of her, sweet countrymen. Judge tenderly of me." I don't know why but it just did. Maybe the whole nature thing or something. It has to be one of my favorite poems. I read it some where once and never forgot it."
With that he yawned. And closed the book and turned off the light. It was a matter of minutes until he fell asleep.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Jordan lay still in his sleeping bag.. Pretending to be asleep. The cold stillness of the night was surrounding him. He felt totally alone. And to make matters worse he knew he was. No one here or anywhere loved him. The only people who had cared about him had left him. His daddy had died. Hailey Jade and Dillion had been sent to their grandparents, and had virtually almost forgotten him. Except for an occasional letter he rarely heard from them. And it hurt him though he wouldn't admit it. And it wasn't really the fact they forgot about him, but what he had done for them. He had sacrificed himself for them and he was the reason they were "free" now. He didn't really want them to remember what Kendra and Jackson had done to them. He let them think their parents were good people. He never cried in front of them, well maybe once or twice, but he tried to make sure that they never saw them hurt him. And as much as he needed them he knew he had to let them go.
Jordan opened his Journal.
12. How do you feel at this very moment?
'Alone." He wrote.
"Is that a safe answer?" Jordan asked himself. AS long as he didn't elaborate on it to much it was.
"It's weird after spending so much time with the other cliffhangers that I am now alone. It's kind of cool. But weird at the same time. Oh well."
"Short but sweet." He said and put it down. Turning over he tried to go back to sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE NEXT DAY
Jordan woke up later than he had planned on the next day. He had been having a nightmare and was awoken to footsteps coming nearer to him. In his still half-asleep state he screamed.
"No!" he said loudly, a hint a fear in his voice. In his mind it was Jackson or his mom coming for him. The footsteps were so similar.
Hearing Jordan scream Sophie and Peter ran to his tent.
"Jordan are you okay?" Sophie asked since she reached there first.
Jordan breathed deeply, his heart racing, still in his slight state of delirium. He had to shake his head a couple of times to make sure where he was.
"Um... Yeah." He said breathing in again. I just was startled a bit." He said trying to make a recovery effort after looking like a fool in front of them. "You guys just appeared out of nowhere and I thought you were some bear or something.'
Peter and Sophie looked at each other. Making their faces look like they bought it when they were thinking 'yeah right'.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Sophie asked putting her arm around him for a quick second before Jordan violently brushed it off.
"Don't touch me." He said softly. He didn't want to feel anyone's hands on him after his nightmares. It made them seem even more real. Especially after this one when he had heard their footsteps coming.
Sophie took her hand away instantly. She knew better than to not listen to that after all the stuff she had seen at Horizon. Mainly with working with Scott and Shelby.
"Are you sure your okay?" Peter said a moment later. He stressed the word sure.
"Yeah." Jordan said. "I'm fine okay?" there was no emotion in his voice. But a hint of something reassuring.
"Okay." Peter said taking Sophie's arm. "We'll be back to check on you later."
"Fine." Jordan said. "Bye."
Sophie and Peter left Jordan in his tent. When they got a reasonable distance away from the camp site, where she knew Jordan couldn't hear, Sophie stopped.
"What the heck was that Peter?" Sophie said making him let go of his arm. 'He was ready to say something. And you decided to leave."
"Solos aren't the place Sophie. They're like sacred here. It's the kids things, not ours. We instruct all the time. This is there's. And as much as I want to know the truth, and you know I want to as much as you, this is not the place. It ruins the idea of it." Peter said trying to explain, though he had a feeling that excuse wasn't enough for Sophie.
But to Peter's surprise Sophie took it as an explanation because she started walking back towards the cabin.
BACK AT THE SOLO SITE
Jordan threw his clothes in his pack after he changed his clothes.
"This is stupid.' He yelled to himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid camping, stupid memories, stupid school, stupid questions. All of it STUPID!" he yelled.
"Just write and get the thing over with." He told him self. "The quicker the better."
Jordan didn't want to remember anymore. Not after the stunt he had pulled with Peter and Sophie that morning. Screaming in front of them. Through this whole trip he kept willing his emotions to shut down. Like he had let them zillions of times before, mostly here at this 'stupid' school. And finally it was working. He was letting himself shut down. Building the walls up again. He had let them slip lately, and this trip was putting them back up. Especially after seeing Jackson and Kendra's "present.'
"Only 20 more hours." He said mournfully.
Taking out his real Journal, the one not belonging to Horizon, the one he always had with him and wrote in all the time, that if misplaced and read by someone else would surely let out "it".
"I wish this solo hike was better. And it was until I opened that stupid package. I thought it would be like camping with daddy. Me alone in the woods with the earth and no one to bug me. But daddy's not here. I know not in person but maybe he is in spirit. But it's hard to believe that now... But of course mom, that witch. Had to ruin it for me again. Her and Jackson and their sick twisted minds. I hate them. I might deserve it but they could let off a little. You know give me a break once in a while. But no. Bad boys need to be on constant punishment, so that means that I am doomed to it forever I guess. I;'m trying so hard not to let the secret of what happens at home slip. Not to anyone. But it's hard. And I'm not even trying to save their butt's. I'm saving mine. Cause I know if I said anything and they found out they'd kill me. They came close before and I am NOT letting that happen again. I am sick of keeping that stupid solo journal. Watching my words so carefully so I don't write anything that can be taken the wrong way. It's stupid. I wish I could just go away and climb. But that brings memories back to. And I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER! Can't they understand that. I've been forced to forget daddy, or act like it cause if I said anything about him Jackson and Mom would have beaten the crap out of me. I've tried so hard to forget. It's easier that way. But nooooo. Here I have to remember. 'It's good for you' they say. Yeah right. I don't think so. I don't want to remember anymore. NOT anything. Not really..."
Jordan sighed. "Not really" he said softly rereading his entry. He didn't change it. But there were always some things to remember even though they hurt. Daddy's face, and the way he smelled. And how to climb and all that. He didn't want to forget, not intirely.
With that Jordan got up. He needed to clear his head. How he didn't know. But he didn't want to stick around for Peter and Sophie to check on him just yet. He grabbed both his journals and his hiking stuff and walked away.
Going down the path Jordan saw the river. He dipped his hands in it. Nice and cool in the spring and fall. That's what Matthew always said. Jordan sat down, took off his shoes and put his feet in the water. He took out the Purple Journal again.
"Might as well finish it." He said.
3. What were some of your favorite things as a child?
"I used to love spending time with my dad and my best friend Jamie. She was awesome. I still love spending time with her. I loved watching the Shirt tales, Sesame Street, Mr. Rodgers and the Snorks. I loved Koosh balls and coloring. I also loved the colors green and yellow. They were my favorite crayola crayons. I loved crayola crayons. I also liked to play t-ball and soccer. And read. And go rock climbing and repelling."
13. What was the one thing you hated as a kid?
"I hated broccoli and spinach. They were the worst foods ever. I also hated this kid named Josh McDonnell. He was this bully in my 3rd grade class that beat me up a couple of times. I think he was the first person I ever hated. I hated my 1st-3rd grade Music Teacher Mrs. W. She was so mean. Like some other people I've met in my life. I hated her too. I also hated hospitals and the colors sea blue and black.. "
9. What do you hope to learn during your solo hike.
"I hope to reconnect with the person I was. Maybe change a bit from how I am, though I don't see what should change. Maybe I'll realize why I am the way I am. Though I don't know if I ever will. I want to learn how to be alone again without a million people on my back and see how it is to sleep alone and not with 3 other guys in a dorm room, oh those were the days."
Jordan put the notebook down. He looked at his watch. 1:30. He should eat lunch, he hadn't had breakfast. His stomach wasn't growling though. But he headed back anyway.
When he got to the campsite he knew Peter and Sophie had been there again. He could sense it somehow. And it bothered him. He sighed.
"What were they doing snooping around." Jordan said angrily. "Thank god I burned that picture last night,."
That picture meaning the one of his bruised up face. They would have had a field day with that one. And Jordan wouldn't have wanted them to have the chance. That's when he heard their voices.
"You were here and looked around, while I was GONE!" he yelled at them as soon as he saw them.
Peter and Sophie took a step back. There was something about his voice that scared them. It was anger or fear or something. They knew instantly what they had done had been more wrong than they had thought.
"We're sorry Jordan. We came back and you weren't here. We looked around to see if you had left a note or anything." Sophie said trying to explain.
"Yeah.." Jordan said shaking his head. "Sure you were."
He was beginning to trust the people here. No one asked to many questions. They knew the boundaries. Or so Jordan thought. He thought they understood what he needed. But now... He couldn't believe them. He didn't want to.
"Jordan, we're sorry." Peter said again. More apologetic this time.
"You guys were looking around. You said you wouldn't snoop and you did. You lied." Jordan said. "And last time I checked the rules were not to lie and you broke your own rules."
"Your right, and We're sorry." Sophie said professionally. They had broken the agreement of solo's they had intruded.
"Whatever." Jordan said sighing. He didn't want to know. He started shutting down again. He sat on a log and didn't even look at Peter and Sophie. It was like old times at the beginning of his stay there. He hadn't shut down in a while. Peter and Sophie kept talking until they realized he wasn't hearing them and then they stopped and looked at him.
"Jordan?"
Jordan didn't answer them. He kept looking at his shoes and zoning them out. Eventually Peter and Sophie gave up and left. Jordan took out his journal.
"They did it. They finally did it. I knew I couldn't be safe here. They would butt in and then it would be the beginning of the end. Well it must be. I'm surprised I'm not seeing the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. I was beginning to trust them to. Stupid stupid me. Back to my normal idiotic self right? Yeppers. I was beginning to trust them. And look what happens. They sneak around in my tent and then act like it was no big deal. Yeah right. What if that picture had been there. Oh God, I don't even want to think about it. I could feel the fists in my face from Jackson right now. If I had to go back there they'd beat me for sure. I wouldn't have to worry about only getting a broken jaw like last time. And this is why I hate trusting people. It hurts more. I mean Peter and Sophie were starting to get cool. Like they really cared or something. But they were just trying to screw me up more like everyone else. Like the Wilkins, my old foster family. I liked them a lot. I mean I really loved them. Or I thought I did. I felt comfortable around them, because they were nice and they tried to help me and they let me see Hailey Jade and Dillion. Which meant a lot to me. But then as soon as social services got me they didn't give it a second thought before they shipped me off to mom and Jackson again. Well Peter and Sophie are like them to.. I hate them all. Every last one of them."
Jordan threw his pencil down snapping it in two. "Great" he screamed. "That's just great."
He went to his tent and grabbed something to eat. He ate and was in a state of mental shut down, a state he really wanted to be in right now. He felt numb inside, and it was a good thing.
LATER ON
Jordan still hated Peter and Sophie, and everyone else on the planet that had ever hurt him for that matter. "Some great experience this turned out to be." Jordan said bitterly. Taking out his purple Journal one last time.
6.What is one of the Best memories you had as a child?
"One of the best memories is all of the ones I had with my dad and then also the time when all of my family, Mom, Daddy, Hailey Jade, and Dillion and I went on a picnic at the lake together for the last time."
8. What is your worst memory you had as a child?
"Being hit by mom for the first time. And the times when Jackson hit me and all my life after he came in. Maybe also when I found out that Hailey Jade and Dillion were being taken from me after all I did for them and how much I gave up for them. I'll never forget that. And how when I got back home when they weren't sent back and mom and Jackson ended up having to take me to the hospital."
Jordan looked at it and knew he couldn't write that. He took the paper and ripped it out. He let that burn in the fire to. Watching the paper turn black and then disappear into the ashes.
"Oh well" he thought. "Maybe they won't notice."
He looked at his watch. It was 11:30 at night. He knew he needed his sleep but he couldn't, afraid of the nightmares that would plague his sleep. He knew they would be bad tonight like they had been the other night of his solo hike. He opened to the 14th question in his notebook.
14. How has your solo hike experience been thus far?
"Oh it's been terrific. I love the fact that people sneak around my tent and all. Nice job guys. And I don't care if I get in trouble for this cause it's true. But me on shuns for a week I don't give a hoot. But other than that little incident It was good. I loved climbing and spending time alone when people weren't interrupting me."
"Serves them right." Jordan said and turned to the last page in his book.
15. What did you get out of this solo hike experience?
"I think I got a lot out of it. It was nice to remember my childhood. All my favorite things and memories of my dad and brother and sister and mom. It was nice. And being immersed in nature alone, with the water, wind and trees and the sights and smells and feelings, it's wonderful. I also learned that not everyone like you hope they will be. And that people won't always live up to your expectations."
"Finished." Jordan said and put the book down in his book bag and getting ready to go to sleep. As he snuggled deeper into his sleeping bag he hugged his stuffed lion. Hoping not to have any more bad dreams tonight. The day couldn't get much worse.
THE NEXT DAY
Jordan woke up early. He didn't want Peter and Sophie sneaking up on him again. They arrived at his campsite at 10:00 sharp. He was already ready.
"Here." He said shoving the purple Journal in Sophie's hands.
He went to walk ahead of them. Not looking back. Peter and Sophie just followed. They had agreed to just let him cool down. And then talk to him about it after he had. He didn't walk to them all the way to the cabin.
"Jordan come on. The cars around back." Peter said as Jordan started following the path they had taken earlier.
Jordan turned and followed them. He didn't want to make them mad or anything. He was still scared of that and knew when they read his journal they'd be pretty ticked then. He deserved it, he knew he would. He'd get punished for it but it was good while it lasted right? Might as well make it worth it.
Jordan got in the car and didn't say a word until they got back to horizon.
BACK AT HORIZON
"I'm going to unpack." Jordan said cooly as soon as they got parked.
"Okay, Jordan Just be at the dinning hall in time for Lunch okay, we're having group after."
"What ever." Jordan sighed throwing his pack over his shoulder.
As Jordan walked away Peter and Sophie hugged each other. "Looks like that wasn't the best idea ever." Sophie sighed. "Our road just got a bit longer."
"It didn't get longer." Peter said. 'Just a few more pot holes here and there."
They looked at each other and smiled. Then walked to the Administrations building.
TO BE CONTINUED
What a great way to end right?! :)
Disclaimer- I do not own any higher Ground Characters. I do own Jordan Thomas, his brother and Sister- Dillion and Hailey Jade, His step dad and mom- Jackson and Kendra, His grandmother and Grandfather- Holly and Jacob Hart. And also most important Jordan's dad Matthew.
I also don't own the poem in here for Journal Activity 11. It was written by Emily Dickinson if no body knew that.
I also don't own the t.v. shows "Shirt tales", "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood" "The Snorks" the Toys- Crayola crayons, Koosh Products, etc.
In this chapter- Jordan's solo hike, it's a bit hard on him to say the least.
It's been a long time since the last one. I know it's been forever, a month and a half almost. I know. Sorry. Writers block. Sorry. :( Well here it is. I might replace this chapter later though.
Okay Okay just one more thing to say, I think this was worth the 2 month wait. It's over 15 pages long in word in Times New Roman Font. Hehehe. Way to much boring time on my hands right? :) Enjoy and Review
SUPPLY ROOM
Jordan stood getting the last of the things he needed for his expedition. He was glad to be going on this quest alone. He loved the mountains. It was the one thing he had of his dad's that his mom hadn't spoiled for him. That was the one thing they had had for themselves. Matthew had taken Jordan hiking and camping since Jordan was little. It was a skill he had never forgotten and getting to do it now was one of the benefits of going to Horizon.
"Are you Ready Jordan?" Peter called from outside.
"Just a minute." Jordan said as he grabbed a safety harness, a rope clasp and a climbing cord, and threw them in his pack. He was ready to go.
Sophie and Peter met him outside the shed. They had a package in their hands. Jordan looked at it and wondered what it was. He hadn't heard much about the solo hikes since the others were practically sworn to secrecy about it. He wished he knew what was up.
"I'm ready." He said, hoping he really was ready to go.
"Okay." Sophie said and led the way towards the woods, and the path that took them to the solo hike campsites.
LATER ON-
Jordan sat on a rock. The package in his hands. He had finished setting up his camp, with the tent and fire and all. He looked at the package in his hands. It was a normal package you would expect to get in the mail. You know, a box wrapped in brown paper. With the Address and stamps and string tying it all up. But Jordan just stared at it. He wondered what sick twisted thing his mom and Jackson were thinking of doing to him next. He wasn't living with them anymore but his fear was. He started to pull away the wrapping.
"I can't." he said. He had heard that during solo hikes unwrapping the package to see what you received was supposed to be the most fun. But Jordan was resisting the urge to open it. He couldn't. To much was weighing on opening that simple package. He couldn't take it. Jordan got sick to his stomach. He put his head between his legs and threw up. Something he hadn't done out of fear in a long time.
Jordan put the Box on the ground and got up. He grabbed the climbing supplies and left his camp site.
Hiking through the woods to the rocks he wanted was fun for Jordan. He breathed in the fresh mountain air and the sent of the pine needles. It was great. Memories flooded back to him.
*****FLASHBACK*****
5-year-old Jordan ran ahead of his dad and the rest of the group with them. They were camping for the first time of the summer. Though Jordan enjoyed camping in the winter and spring, summer camping was the best.
"Come on guys, come on," Jordan whined, as he waved to the others.
Matthew ran up and grasped his son by the waste, camping pack and all. He spun him around and Jordan was laughing hysterically. He loved his dad.
"So ready to set up are we?" Matthew asked with a mischievous smile. Jordan saw it and laughed.
"What?" Matthew asked innocently reaching into his pockets.
"Daddy. What are you doing?" Jordan asked laughing.
Matthew started whistling that whistle that people do when they are trying to annoy someone.
"What?" Jordan whined. "Tell me, tell me!"
"I just thought we could go climbing first." Matthew said to his son, who's eyes suddenly lit up. "I hear they have great rock faces up here."
"YEA!" Jordan screamed happily, he hugged his dad by the waist.
Matthew had started teaching Jordan to climb when he was still a baby, that way Jordan would have no fear of heights or climbing later. Matthew and he did it all the time. And Jordan was getting really good at it.
***** END FLASHBACK******
Jordan snapped out of his daydream. He loved his dad and thinking back at that memory made him happy and sad at the same time.
"I miss you daddy." He whispered softly to the wind. He set his book bag on the ground and picked out the purple Journal he had been given for his solo hike. He opened it and searched for a question that would be 'safe" to answer. Safe meaning nothing incrimination could come out of it. He didn't want that happening, did he?
Jordan flipped through the pages. He came upon a question.
5. Name one time you felt truly happy, this could be a memory the gift you got brings back or something else....
" I think the one time I felt truly happy. "Jordan wrote. "Was when I was with my dad. We used to go camping. He was the one that taught me to climb. And when I do, I feel like he is still there watching me, even after he died. When he was sick the thing I missed most was being alone with him, without mom, or Dillion, or Hailey Jade. Just me and him. And being alone now is like that. I'm sitting in front of this rock face and am about to climb and it comes back to me, being with him. His hands guiding me on the rock, showing me the best ways to grip. All of that. When I lit the fire at camp I remember watching him do it and trying to show me how but I was to little to play with fire myself." He stopped writing. A smile was on his face.
Jordan put the Journal back. "1 question down, 14 to go." He said, disappointment in his voice.
He got the gear out of his pack and set up to climb.
LATER ON...
Jordan sat on the rock again. He knew he had to face what was in that box. And after throwing up he didn't want to feel defeated by his mom and Jackson when they weren't even there. He hated the power they had over him sometimes. Even thousands of miles away it still felt like they were watching over him. He was living in constant fear and he knew it. But there was nothing he could do about it. Telling wasn't, and had never been an option for him.
And the fact that he hadn't really seen what was in the box and it bothered him made him hate himself a bit too. He felt he was a chicken and it was something he needed to do. He picked up the box and tour out the tissue paper. Placing in next to him. From the box he pulled out a smaller package, and a 3 pictures.
Jordan looked at the pictures first. The first one was of Dillion, Hailey, his mom, Jackson and him. It was taken shortly before his brother and sister were taken away.
"A perfect family." Jordan said sarcastically and bitterly. He looked at the plastered smiles on everyone's faces. The photographers had had to take 3 takes of the picture before everyone smiled. Mainly Jordan, Jackson had threatened him before they had gone into the studio and then kept squeezing his arm until he smiled. Jordan had gotten beaten up that night, breaking the arm that Jackson had been squeezing. But a photo would never show a family like that would it? Jordan thought to himself.
The next was another family picture. It was taken when Jordan was 5. His dad had been in this one. So had his mom. His dad's face was crossed out with a big black X in a circle around his dad's face. His mom had done
The next picture was of Jordan alone. It was taken right before he had come to Horizon. Bruises were still fresh on his face. Jordan could feel them now. His "parents" had always liked seeing Jordan bruised. 'To admire their handy work." His mom had once said. Jordan turned the photograph over.
"Dear Son, Just a little trip down memory lane. How bout it?" It was his mother's handwriting. "See what happens to bad boys. Hope you remember that. Or else you'll need to be taught another lesson. Your mother and father."
Jordan looked at the words again. 'Father' he thought bitterly. 'Never.' He said out loud as he crumbled up the photo and threw it into the fire. The smell of burning photographs filled the air and Jordan gasped for breath as memories fled back to him. He had smelt that smell before.
***************FLASHBACK*********************
Young Jordan stood crying. His mom was throwing away all of daddy's pictures. All the ones of daddy and him, and of daddy and mom, and daddy and the mountains where he had taught Jordan how to climb. And mom was burning them and Jordan couldn't understand why.
"Stop please mommy." Jordan said crying. He knew pictures were all he had left.
But his mom didn't stop, the smell of the burning photos was filling the room as the pictures melted in the fire. Jordan watched.
"Why does mommy have to be so mean?" Jordan asked, he felt hate for her then, for doing this to him and his dad.
Jordan watched the fire dance. The fumes were making him sick to his stomach, he felt like he was going to throw up. But something kept him planted there he couldn't move.
"Mommy, Please." He begged again and again, screaming through his tears.
"Shut up." Kendra screamed in the little boy's face. Jordan could smell the liquor on her breath. She had been drinking again.
"Please..." be begged again. But was met only with a hard smack with the back of his mom's hand.
"I said shut the heck up." She screamed at him taking a drink from a glass, of what Jordan didn't know.
Jordan waited till his mom was looking away to grab the top most pictures off the pile. They were luckily the 2 that he wanted the most. The one of him and his dad camping, the other of him, his dad and brother and sister. The other one had him and his dad and mom on it.
He snuck them under his shirt, the two most important first. Then the other and he was going to grab another picture when his mom caught him.
"What do you think your doing?" She said grabbing his wrist with her free hand, and squeezing it tight. She pulled him over to her, Jordan was crying now.
"Answer me." She said twisting his arm.
"No.. nothing." Jordan said crying, biting his lip with the pain.
"It doesn't look like nothing." She said twisting his arm more, moving him closer to the burning fire place.
Jordan gagged. He felt the food in his stomach coming up, The smell was so nauseating, but he couldn't and he swallowed it back.
Kendra moved Jordan's hand with the photograph in it closer to the fire.
"Give me one reason I shouldn't burn you." She said.
Jordan screamed, he could feel the heat on his hand. "Please mommy. Don't please." He begged some more.
This time his begging worked. She moved him over. But then punched the little boy in the stomach. He fell like a bag of bricks. She laughed. Jordan cried. Curling into a little ball so his mom couldn't hurt him again. She laughed again, threw the rest of the pictures into the fire and leaving him there.
****** END FLASHBACK *******
Jordan was breathing hard after that. He looked in the box. Inside was a small package. He almost didn't want to see what it was. But something made him open it. Inside was a small stuffed lion. A simple furry lion. Jordan felt tears rush to his eyes. He wiped them quickly away.
"Don't cry you wus." He whispered harshly to himself.
His dad had given Jordan the lion when he was sick. Near the end when his dad could barely get out of bed any more, and the time when mom started acting 'funny'.
"Daddy." Jordan whispered softly again and held back the tears.
He opened the Journal.
10. What is one memory that something in your package brings back to you?
"In my package was my stuffed lion. Daddy got him for me when he was sick. After I told him I didn't want him to leave me ever. Cause I knew he would be gone soon. He got me the lion and I remember him saying 'This is for you to be brave Jordan. When I'm gone and things get bad, which they will at times in live, I want you to take this lion and remember me. He'll make you strong and I'll be with you.' I cried when he said that. A couple weeks later he went to the hospital for a check up and the cancer had spread. It was the end. Mom knew it, dad knew it, I knew it. I just couldn't face it. The lion helped me feel better. I had it with me when dad died. I cried with it...
Jordan dropped his pen. He couldn't write anymore. He kept having another image popping into his head, and not a happy one either.
*****************FLASHBACK************************************8
Jordan had to be 7 by now. Right after Jackson moved in and he and Kendra started drinking and hitting him. Jackson threw the little boy in a closet. Jordan hated closed spaces, and now since his dad died he was afraid of the dark. Jackson knew it and thrived on the little boy's fear.
"Get in there and shut up.' He said. "And your not coming out until you learn your lesson." He threw the lion at Jordan.
"And if I or your mother hear a single peep out of you, you know what's gonna happen with your precious little lion?"
Jordan shook his head no and cried.
"He's gonna die." Jackson said and slammed the door.
Jordan sat there silently for as long as he could. He tried to think of nice things. Like daddy and the mountains and Baby Hailey and Dillion, anything. And it was working. Finally the closet door opened. It had been hours. He didn't know. But Jackson didn't say he could come out he just took the lion.
"I heard something." He said.
"No...No I didn't do anything." Jordan cried.
But Jackson just laughed. He twisted the lions head around and around. Jordan closed his eyes.
******************FLASHBACK ENDED**********************
Jordan blinked. He wanted the image gone from his head. Suddenly he was tired.
But he couldn't sleep, not yet. It was still light out and the fire needed to be allowed to grow a bit more first. He opened his Journal to another page.
7. What is one feeling this solo hike brings up?
Jordan looked at the question. 'Fear' he thought to himself. But he knew he couldn't write it. Especially if Sophie or Peter were reading it. To many questions that Jordan didn't want to and couldn't answer without severe consequences. 'Make something up.' He thought. He did it all the time.
"This solo makes me feel at peace with myself. Here alone in nature I get to connect with the earth as one. Even more so than on a quest. I have time to myself to think. Which is good. So I feel in union with myself. And that is a good feeling."
'What a load of Crap.' He said out loud. That's what it was a bunch of Garbage.
He tried to find a better question. One that he could answer at least half truthfully. Jordan inside really hated lying. But lies kept you safe from the people that could really hurt you. They kept him safe.
1. What are the things in your package?
"Some pictures of my family and a stuffed lion my dad gave me when he got sick. All of It is from my childhood.
2. Look around your campsite. Does it feel different being on a solo than a quest.
"Yeah it does. Really different. I'm all alone and that is good. I like to be by myself for a change without all these people bugging me half to death. Which gets sooooo annoying."
4. What is one happy memory from your childhood?
"Probably camping with my dad. We did that a lot. It meant we could be together alone and not worry about anyone else being with us which was always good. That meant no mom or Hailey or Dillion or anyone. It was great to be alone with him. He taught me all this cool stuff. Like climbing and hiking and making fires and tents and stuff. I loved being with him more than anything else in the world. Except maybe dad himself and Hailey and Dillion.
7. What is one sad memory from your childhood?
"My dad dying. I was 6 when he died and it shattered my world for a while. I was lost without him there. I would go looking for him and he wasn't there and for a while I thought I heard him or saw him. But I knew I didn't. Eventually I stopped looking for him and knew he was gone. Life went back to normal I guess. I mean as normal as possible after what happened. But I still felt empty inside.'
'At least part of it's true.' Jordan said out loud. All of it actually except the part about normal. It was at least safe enough to write.
MEANWHILE AT THE SOLO HIKE CABIN (couldn't think of a better name)
Peter and Sophie sat drinking coffee. It was beginning to get dark outside. And they were enjoying the quietness of being alone.
'How do you think he's doing." Sophie said suddenly, looking out the small window in the cabin.
"Who?" Peter asked, striking up conversation.
"You know who." Sophie said. "Jordan."
"I think he's fine. As fine as you can be on a solo." He added softly.
Sophie knew what he ment and sighed.
BACK AT THE SOLO SITE- later that night
Jordan was ready to go to sleep, The solo hike so far had tired him out. It was still early but he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He decided he would take one more Journal activity before going to sleep.
11. What is one thing that comes to your mind during your hike?
Jordan thought for a moment. He took a deep breath and breathed in the cool mountain air. A remembrance of a poem filled his mind.
"Sitting here I am reminded of a poem by Emily Dickinson. ' This is my letter to the world that never wrote to me. The simple news that nature told with tender majesty. Her message is committed to hands I can not see: For love of her, sweet countrymen. Judge tenderly of me." I don't know why but it just did. Maybe the whole nature thing or something. It has to be one of my favorite poems. I read it some where once and never forgot it."
With that he yawned. And closed the book and turned off the light. It was a matter of minutes until he fell asleep.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Jordan lay still in his sleeping bag.. Pretending to be asleep. The cold stillness of the night was surrounding him. He felt totally alone. And to make matters worse he knew he was. No one here or anywhere loved him. The only people who had cared about him had left him. His daddy had died. Hailey Jade and Dillion had been sent to their grandparents, and had virtually almost forgotten him. Except for an occasional letter he rarely heard from them. And it hurt him though he wouldn't admit it. And it wasn't really the fact they forgot about him, but what he had done for them. He had sacrificed himself for them and he was the reason they were "free" now. He didn't really want them to remember what Kendra and Jackson had done to them. He let them think their parents were good people. He never cried in front of them, well maybe once or twice, but he tried to make sure that they never saw them hurt him. And as much as he needed them he knew he had to let them go.
Jordan opened his Journal.
12. How do you feel at this very moment?
'Alone." He wrote.
"Is that a safe answer?" Jordan asked himself. AS long as he didn't elaborate on it to much it was.
"It's weird after spending so much time with the other cliffhangers that I am now alone. It's kind of cool. But weird at the same time. Oh well."
"Short but sweet." He said and put it down. Turning over he tried to go back to sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE NEXT DAY
Jordan woke up later than he had planned on the next day. He had been having a nightmare and was awoken to footsteps coming nearer to him. In his still half-asleep state he screamed.
"No!" he said loudly, a hint a fear in his voice. In his mind it was Jackson or his mom coming for him. The footsteps were so similar.
Hearing Jordan scream Sophie and Peter ran to his tent.
"Jordan are you okay?" Sophie asked since she reached there first.
Jordan breathed deeply, his heart racing, still in his slight state of delirium. He had to shake his head a couple of times to make sure where he was.
"Um... Yeah." He said breathing in again. I just was startled a bit." He said trying to make a recovery effort after looking like a fool in front of them. "You guys just appeared out of nowhere and I thought you were some bear or something.'
Peter and Sophie looked at each other. Making their faces look like they bought it when they were thinking 'yeah right'.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Sophie asked putting her arm around him for a quick second before Jordan violently brushed it off.
"Don't touch me." He said softly. He didn't want to feel anyone's hands on him after his nightmares. It made them seem even more real. Especially after this one when he had heard their footsteps coming.
Sophie took her hand away instantly. She knew better than to not listen to that after all the stuff she had seen at Horizon. Mainly with working with Scott and Shelby.
"Are you sure your okay?" Peter said a moment later. He stressed the word sure.
"Yeah." Jordan said. "I'm fine okay?" there was no emotion in his voice. But a hint of something reassuring.
"Okay." Peter said taking Sophie's arm. "We'll be back to check on you later."
"Fine." Jordan said. "Bye."
Sophie and Peter left Jordan in his tent. When they got a reasonable distance away from the camp site, where she knew Jordan couldn't hear, Sophie stopped.
"What the heck was that Peter?" Sophie said making him let go of his arm. 'He was ready to say something. And you decided to leave."
"Solos aren't the place Sophie. They're like sacred here. It's the kids things, not ours. We instruct all the time. This is there's. And as much as I want to know the truth, and you know I want to as much as you, this is not the place. It ruins the idea of it." Peter said trying to explain, though he had a feeling that excuse wasn't enough for Sophie.
But to Peter's surprise Sophie took it as an explanation because she started walking back towards the cabin.
BACK AT THE SOLO SITE
Jordan threw his clothes in his pack after he changed his clothes.
"This is stupid.' He yelled to himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid camping, stupid memories, stupid school, stupid questions. All of it STUPID!" he yelled.
"Just write and get the thing over with." He told him self. "The quicker the better."
Jordan didn't want to remember anymore. Not after the stunt he had pulled with Peter and Sophie that morning. Screaming in front of them. Through this whole trip he kept willing his emotions to shut down. Like he had let them zillions of times before, mostly here at this 'stupid' school. And finally it was working. He was letting himself shut down. Building the walls up again. He had let them slip lately, and this trip was putting them back up. Especially after seeing Jackson and Kendra's "present.'
"Only 20 more hours." He said mournfully.
Taking out his real Journal, the one not belonging to Horizon, the one he always had with him and wrote in all the time, that if misplaced and read by someone else would surely let out "it".
"I wish this solo hike was better. And it was until I opened that stupid package. I thought it would be like camping with daddy. Me alone in the woods with the earth and no one to bug me. But daddy's not here. I know not in person but maybe he is in spirit. But it's hard to believe that now... But of course mom, that witch. Had to ruin it for me again. Her and Jackson and their sick twisted minds. I hate them. I might deserve it but they could let off a little. You know give me a break once in a while. But no. Bad boys need to be on constant punishment, so that means that I am doomed to it forever I guess. I;'m trying so hard not to let the secret of what happens at home slip. Not to anyone. But it's hard. And I'm not even trying to save their butt's. I'm saving mine. Cause I know if I said anything and they found out they'd kill me. They came close before and I am NOT letting that happen again. I am sick of keeping that stupid solo journal. Watching my words so carefully so I don't write anything that can be taken the wrong way. It's stupid. I wish I could just go away and climb. But that brings memories back to. And I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER! Can't they understand that. I've been forced to forget daddy, or act like it cause if I said anything about him Jackson and Mom would have beaten the crap out of me. I've tried so hard to forget. It's easier that way. But nooooo. Here I have to remember. 'It's good for you' they say. Yeah right. I don't think so. I don't want to remember anymore. NOT anything. Not really..."
Jordan sighed. "Not really" he said softly rereading his entry. He didn't change it. But there were always some things to remember even though they hurt. Daddy's face, and the way he smelled. And how to climb and all that. He didn't want to forget, not intirely.
With that Jordan got up. He needed to clear his head. How he didn't know. But he didn't want to stick around for Peter and Sophie to check on him just yet. He grabbed both his journals and his hiking stuff and walked away.
Going down the path Jordan saw the river. He dipped his hands in it. Nice and cool in the spring and fall. That's what Matthew always said. Jordan sat down, took off his shoes and put his feet in the water. He took out the Purple Journal again.
"Might as well finish it." He said.
3. What were some of your favorite things as a child?
"I used to love spending time with my dad and my best friend Jamie. She was awesome. I still love spending time with her. I loved watching the Shirt tales, Sesame Street, Mr. Rodgers and the Snorks. I loved Koosh balls and coloring. I also loved the colors green and yellow. They were my favorite crayola crayons. I loved crayola crayons. I also liked to play t-ball and soccer. And read. And go rock climbing and repelling."
13. What was the one thing you hated as a kid?
"I hated broccoli and spinach. They were the worst foods ever. I also hated this kid named Josh McDonnell. He was this bully in my 3rd grade class that beat me up a couple of times. I think he was the first person I ever hated. I hated my 1st-3rd grade Music Teacher Mrs. W. She was so mean. Like some other people I've met in my life. I hated her too. I also hated hospitals and the colors sea blue and black.. "
9. What do you hope to learn during your solo hike.
"I hope to reconnect with the person I was. Maybe change a bit from how I am, though I don't see what should change. Maybe I'll realize why I am the way I am. Though I don't know if I ever will. I want to learn how to be alone again without a million people on my back and see how it is to sleep alone and not with 3 other guys in a dorm room, oh those were the days."
Jordan put the notebook down. He looked at his watch. 1:30. He should eat lunch, he hadn't had breakfast. His stomach wasn't growling though. But he headed back anyway.
When he got to the campsite he knew Peter and Sophie had been there again. He could sense it somehow. And it bothered him. He sighed.
"What were they doing snooping around." Jordan said angrily. "Thank god I burned that picture last night,."
That picture meaning the one of his bruised up face. They would have had a field day with that one. And Jordan wouldn't have wanted them to have the chance. That's when he heard their voices.
"You were here and looked around, while I was GONE!" he yelled at them as soon as he saw them.
Peter and Sophie took a step back. There was something about his voice that scared them. It was anger or fear or something. They knew instantly what they had done had been more wrong than they had thought.
"We're sorry Jordan. We came back and you weren't here. We looked around to see if you had left a note or anything." Sophie said trying to explain.
"Yeah.." Jordan said shaking his head. "Sure you were."
He was beginning to trust the people here. No one asked to many questions. They knew the boundaries. Or so Jordan thought. He thought they understood what he needed. But now... He couldn't believe them. He didn't want to.
"Jordan, we're sorry." Peter said again. More apologetic this time.
"You guys were looking around. You said you wouldn't snoop and you did. You lied." Jordan said. "And last time I checked the rules were not to lie and you broke your own rules."
"Your right, and We're sorry." Sophie said professionally. They had broken the agreement of solo's they had intruded.
"Whatever." Jordan said sighing. He didn't want to know. He started shutting down again. He sat on a log and didn't even look at Peter and Sophie. It was like old times at the beginning of his stay there. He hadn't shut down in a while. Peter and Sophie kept talking until they realized he wasn't hearing them and then they stopped and looked at him.
"Jordan?"
Jordan didn't answer them. He kept looking at his shoes and zoning them out. Eventually Peter and Sophie gave up and left. Jordan took out his journal.
"They did it. They finally did it. I knew I couldn't be safe here. They would butt in and then it would be the beginning of the end. Well it must be. I'm surprised I'm not seeing the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. I was beginning to trust them to. Stupid stupid me. Back to my normal idiotic self right? Yeppers. I was beginning to trust them. And look what happens. They sneak around in my tent and then act like it was no big deal. Yeah right. What if that picture had been there. Oh God, I don't even want to think about it. I could feel the fists in my face from Jackson right now. If I had to go back there they'd beat me for sure. I wouldn't have to worry about only getting a broken jaw like last time. And this is why I hate trusting people. It hurts more. I mean Peter and Sophie were starting to get cool. Like they really cared or something. But they were just trying to screw me up more like everyone else. Like the Wilkins, my old foster family. I liked them a lot. I mean I really loved them. Or I thought I did. I felt comfortable around them, because they were nice and they tried to help me and they let me see Hailey Jade and Dillion. Which meant a lot to me. But then as soon as social services got me they didn't give it a second thought before they shipped me off to mom and Jackson again. Well Peter and Sophie are like them to.. I hate them all. Every last one of them."
Jordan threw his pencil down snapping it in two. "Great" he screamed. "That's just great."
He went to his tent and grabbed something to eat. He ate and was in a state of mental shut down, a state he really wanted to be in right now. He felt numb inside, and it was a good thing.
LATER ON
Jordan still hated Peter and Sophie, and everyone else on the planet that had ever hurt him for that matter. "Some great experience this turned out to be." Jordan said bitterly. Taking out his purple Journal one last time.
6.What is one of the Best memories you had as a child?
"One of the best memories is all of the ones I had with my dad and then also the time when all of my family, Mom, Daddy, Hailey Jade, and Dillion and I went on a picnic at the lake together for the last time."
8. What is your worst memory you had as a child?
"Being hit by mom for the first time. And the times when Jackson hit me and all my life after he came in. Maybe also when I found out that Hailey Jade and Dillion were being taken from me after all I did for them and how much I gave up for them. I'll never forget that. And how when I got back home when they weren't sent back and mom and Jackson ended up having to take me to the hospital."
Jordan looked at it and knew he couldn't write that. He took the paper and ripped it out. He let that burn in the fire to. Watching the paper turn black and then disappear into the ashes.
"Oh well" he thought. "Maybe they won't notice."
He looked at his watch. It was 11:30 at night. He knew he needed his sleep but he couldn't, afraid of the nightmares that would plague his sleep. He knew they would be bad tonight like they had been the other night of his solo hike. He opened to the 14th question in his notebook.
14. How has your solo hike experience been thus far?
"Oh it's been terrific. I love the fact that people sneak around my tent and all. Nice job guys. And I don't care if I get in trouble for this cause it's true. But me on shuns for a week I don't give a hoot. But other than that little incident It was good. I loved climbing and spending time alone when people weren't interrupting me."
"Serves them right." Jordan said and turned to the last page in his book.
15. What did you get out of this solo hike experience?
"I think I got a lot out of it. It was nice to remember my childhood. All my favorite things and memories of my dad and brother and sister and mom. It was nice. And being immersed in nature alone, with the water, wind and trees and the sights and smells and feelings, it's wonderful. I also learned that not everyone like you hope they will be. And that people won't always live up to your expectations."
"Finished." Jordan said and put the book down in his book bag and getting ready to go to sleep. As he snuggled deeper into his sleeping bag he hugged his stuffed lion. Hoping not to have any more bad dreams tonight. The day couldn't get much worse.
THE NEXT DAY
Jordan woke up early. He didn't want Peter and Sophie sneaking up on him again. They arrived at his campsite at 10:00 sharp. He was already ready.
"Here." He said shoving the purple Journal in Sophie's hands.
He went to walk ahead of them. Not looking back. Peter and Sophie just followed. They had agreed to just let him cool down. And then talk to him about it after he had. He didn't walk to them all the way to the cabin.
"Jordan come on. The cars around back." Peter said as Jordan started following the path they had taken earlier.
Jordan turned and followed them. He didn't want to make them mad or anything. He was still scared of that and knew when they read his journal they'd be pretty ticked then. He deserved it, he knew he would. He'd get punished for it but it was good while it lasted right? Might as well make it worth it.
Jordan got in the car and didn't say a word until they got back to horizon.
BACK AT HORIZON
"I'm going to unpack." Jordan said cooly as soon as they got parked.
"Okay, Jordan Just be at the dinning hall in time for Lunch okay, we're having group after."
"What ever." Jordan sighed throwing his pack over his shoulder.
As Jordan walked away Peter and Sophie hugged each other. "Looks like that wasn't the best idea ever." Sophie sighed. "Our road just got a bit longer."
"It didn't get longer." Peter said. 'Just a few more pot holes here and there."
They looked at each other and smiled. Then walked to the Administrations building.
TO BE CONTINUED
What a great way to end right?! :)