AN: Hi, I'm Leigh, and I'm a note-aholic. *Crowds answers "Hi, Leigh!"* I don't own Kevin Smith's
people. Or 'SpongeBob Squarepants' characters. And I'm strong enough to admit that.
ChApTeR 9
Bartleby made mad, passionate love to Tzipora in the shower until the hot water was gone. They
climbed out, shivering from the icy water, dried each other lovingly with big, white, fluffy towels,
then ran to the bed and continued to make love. About an hour later, Tzipora simply collapsed into
Bartleby's arms and sighed, "I'm hungry. And my food is probably cold now." Bartleby jumped up
and placed her food in the sun, streaming in from the large window, then got back into bed. "Oh,
yeah, that'll work," she said sarcastically.
"It might," he answered, lightly kissing her forehead. They lay in a happy, comfortable silence for
a while, relaxing and regaining their spent energy. After a while, Bartleby said, "We need more drinks."
"It's like nine o'clock in the morning. We don't need drinks. But I need breakfast," Tzipora said, climbing
out of the rumpled sheets of the bed. She walked over to where Bartleby had placed her food on the
window sill and started eating her waffles. "Okay, the sun thing did work...a little. Thanks for getting
me breakfast, B." She smiled at him, her mouth all syrupy. He laughed at her. "What?" she asked, her
voice muffled, because her mouth was full. Bartleby got up and licked the maple syrup from her lips.
"Here, put this shirt on. You're all indecent-like for a lady," Bartleby said, grabbing his shirt from the
night before. The blood had completely dried and now was an ugly brownish color. Tzipora put it on
anyway. Bartleby was just pulling on his boxers when he felt someone was watching him. Not Tzipora.
This gaze was of someone unearthly. "Hi, Azrael," he greeted his demon friend.
"Hey, there, Bartleby, I see you're human now. And how are the two lovebirds this morning?" Azrael
said cheerfully, taking a seat on the bed. "Looks like you've been busy. Where are you two going later?"
"I...I guess we don't know right now. Got any suggestions?" Bartleby asked, pulling on his pants.
"Maybe...you could go BACK to New Jersey and go home. Hell, I could transport you right now."
"You know, Azrael, I've been thinking about that. About going home, I mean. I'm not so sure I wanna do
that anymore."
"WHAT?!" Azrael roared. "After all this time, all this hard work I've-- I mean, we've put into this plan, and
you just want to screw it? Remember how badly you wanted to go home? God PUNISHED you by sending
you and Loki here, and now you want to STAY? Fuck you, Bartleby." Azrael got up and punched a hole
through the wall in his frustration and anger.
"Hey, man, I'm gonna have to pay for that now!" Bartleby yelled at him. Azrael shrugged. "I like it here now.
I can drink, I can have sex," Bartleby smiled at Tzipora, who grinned back at him, "I can finally lead a normal
life. I've been on Earth long enough, I'm actually starting to enjoy it. But say I do want to go home. Where's
Loki, Azrael? Do you know? I don't want to go back if there's no Loki. Life would be fucking pointless without
him."
"As if your mortal life now isn't pointless? You could die tomorrow and you'd probably go to Hell. Shit, I know
for a FACT you'd go to Hell."
"Hey, shut the fuck up," Tzipora interrupted. "Bartleby can make his own decisions. He doesn't need a loser
like you ordering him around." In a flash, Azrael had Tzipora up against the wall, his hands pressing her
shoulders to it. She squirmed to get out of his grasp, but found escape was impossible. She heard Bartleby
gasp from across the room.
"Listen, human, a lot more is going on here than your little mind could possibly imagine," Azrael whispered,
his face inches from hers. "If he doesn't want to go home, too damn bad. He's going home, one way or
another. I'll see to it personally. My life depends on what your boyfriend over there does. Don't fuck with me.
You got that?" Tzipora nodded, scared. "Good," Azrael smiled. He let Tzipora go and she ran to Bartleby's arms.
"You two stay out of trouble. The Scion no longer has the aide of the Metatron since you transubstaniated, B.
But she can still sense where you are. I suggest you get moving...they'll be here in about half an hour. Until
next time..." he said in farewell. He bowed deeply, then disappeared instantly.
"What is going on, Bartleby?" Tzipora asked, grabbing his hand.
"I don't know. I really don't know."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Loki sat in a chair, watching some SpongeBob Squarepants. This had to be his favorite cartoon, by far. He
hadn't seen stuff this hilarious since they stopped making those ultra-violent Bugs Bunny cartoons. "Why are
you mad, Patrick?" SpongeBob asked his starfish friend.
With a look of concentration and anger on his face, Patrick replied, "Because I can't see my forehead." Loki
laughed out loud. Some muse had to be inspiring this writer. No one was this funny by themselves.
Loki was in Heaven, though how he had gotten there was beyond him. Metatron had tried to explain it to him
several times, but usually Loki forgot what he said ten minutes later. Something about him becoming human
on Earth, not committing any sins, and being killed by Bartleby...lots of big words...and since he was a human
going to Heaven and NOT an angel, existence wouldn't be destroyed. The same went for Bartleby. He could go
into that church in Red Bank, have all his sins erased, and be killed, and he would go to Heaven as well,
without erasing the past, present, and future. As soon as Loki was admitted into Heaven, God told him all of
Azrael's plan. Loki had laughed aloud then, too, because it seemed so ridiculous. Angels getting back into
Heaven was impossible.
A new story was on T.V. now. Squidward, SpongeBob's neighbor, was about to walk into his expanding house.
"I should just walk away, right now," Squidward said to himself. Just as he was about to open the door, his
home exploded. Inside sat a grinning SpongeBob and Patrick. "You invited them in and you left them alone.
Well, Squidward, what have we learned today?" Loki laughed uproariously again.
people. Or 'SpongeBob Squarepants' characters. And I'm strong enough to admit that.
ChApTeR 9
Bartleby made mad, passionate love to Tzipora in the shower until the hot water was gone. They
climbed out, shivering from the icy water, dried each other lovingly with big, white, fluffy towels,
then ran to the bed and continued to make love. About an hour later, Tzipora simply collapsed into
Bartleby's arms and sighed, "I'm hungry. And my food is probably cold now." Bartleby jumped up
and placed her food in the sun, streaming in from the large window, then got back into bed. "Oh,
yeah, that'll work," she said sarcastically.
"It might," he answered, lightly kissing her forehead. They lay in a happy, comfortable silence for
a while, relaxing and regaining their spent energy. After a while, Bartleby said, "We need more drinks."
"It's like nine o'clock in the morning. We don't need drinks. But I need breakfast," Tzipora said, climbing
out of the rumpled sheets of the bed. She walked over to where Bartleby had placed her food on the
window sill and started eating her waffles. "Okay, the sun thing did work...a little. Thanks for getting
me breakfast, B." She smiled at him, her mouth all syrupy. He laughed at her. "What?" she asked, her
voice muffled, because her mouth was full. Bartleby got up and licked the maple syrup from her lips.
"Here, put this shirt on. You're all indecent-like for a lady," Bartleby said, grabbing his shirt from the
night before. The blood had completely dried and now was an ugly brownish color. Tzipora put it on
anyway. Bartleby was just pulling on his boxers when he felt someone was watching him. Not Tzipora.
This gaze was of someone unearthly. "Hi, Azrael," he greeted his demon friend.
"Hey, there, Bartleby, I see you're human now. And how are the two lovebirds this morning?" Azrael
said cheerfully, taking a seat on the bed. "Looks like you've been busy. Where are you two going later?"
"I...I guess we don't know right now. Got any suggestions?" Bartleby asked, pulling on his pants.
"Maybe...you could go BACK to New Jersey and go home. Hell, I could transport you right now."
"You know, Azrael, I've been thinking about that. About going home, I mean. I'm not so sure I wanna do
that anymore."
"WHAT?!" Azrael roared. "After all this time, all this hard work I've-- I mean, we've put into this plan, and
you just want to screw it? Remember how badly you wanted to go home? God PUNISHED you by sending
you and Loki here, and now you want to STAY? Fuck you, Bartleby." Azrael got up and punched a hole
through the wall in his frustration and anger.
"Hey, man, I'm gonna have to pay for that now!" Bartleby yelled at him. Azrael shrugged. "I like it here now.
I can drink, I can have sex," Bartleby smiled at Tzipora, who grinned back at him, "I can finally lead a normal
life. I've been on Earth long enough, I'm actually starting to enjoy it. But say I do want to go home. Where's
Loki, Azrael? Do you know? I don't want to go back if there's no Loki. Life would be fucking pointless without
him."
"As if your mortal life now isn't pointless? You could die tomorrow and you'd probably go to Hell. Shit, I know
for a FACT you'd go to Hell."
"Hey, shut the fuck up," Tzipora interrupted. "Bartleby can make his own decisions. He doesn't need a loser
like you ordering him around." In a flash, Azrael had Tzipora up against the wall, his hands pressing her
shoulders to it. She squirmed to get out of his grasp, but found escape was impossible. She heard Bartleby
gasp from across the room.
"Listen, human, a lot more is going on here than your little mind could possibly imagine," Azrael whispered,
his face inches from hers. "If he doesn't want to go home, too damn bad. He's going home, one way or
another. I'll see to it personally. My life depends on what your boyfriend over there does. Don't fuck with me.
You got that?" Tzipora nodded, scared. "Good," Azrael smiled. He let Tzipora go and she ran to Bartleby's arms.
"You two stay out of trouble. The Scion no longer has the aide of the Metatron since you transubstaniated, B.
But she can still sense where you are. I suggest you get moving...they'll be here in about half an hour. Until
next time..." he said in farewell. He bowed deeply, then disappeared instantly.
"What is going on, Bartleby?" Tzipora asked, grabbing his hand.
"I don't know. I really don't know."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Loki sat in a chair, watching some SpongeBob Squarepants. This had to be his favorite cartoon, by far. He
hadn't seen stuff this hilarious since they stopped making those ultra-violent Bugs Bunny cartoons. "Why are
you mad, Patrick?" SpongeBob asked his starfish friend.
With a look of concentration and anger on his face, Patrick replied, "Because I can't see my forehead." Loki
laughed out loud. Some muse had to be inspiring this writer. No one was this funny by themselves.
Loki was in Heaven, though how he had gotten there was beyond him. Metatron had tried to explain it to him
several times, but usually Loki forgot what he said ten minutes later. Something about him becoming human
on Earth, not committing any sins, and being killed by Bartleby...lots of big words...and since he was a human
going to Heaven and NOT an angel, existence wouldn't be destroyed. The same went for Bartleby. He could go
into that church in Red Bank, have all his sins erased, and be killed, and he would go to Heaven as well,
without erasing the past, present, and future. As soon as Loki was admitted into Heaven, God told him all of
Azrael's plan. Loki had laughed aloud then, too, because it seemed so ridiculous. Angels getting back into
Heaven was impossible.
A new story was on T.V. now. Squidward, SpongeBob's neighbor, was about to walk into his expanding house.
"I should just walk away, right now," Squidward said to himself. Just as he was about to open the door, his
home exploded. Inside sat a grinning SpongeBob and Patrick. "You invited them in and you left them alone.
Well, Squidward, what have we learned today?" Loki laughed uproariously again.