Memories- Part 13
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original Higher ground Characters but I do own all the new ones. I own Jordan Thomas and all his relations. Also His best friend Jamie. I also own Aubrey, Shelby's friend, and Jill Trinity, the mail lady.
In this chapter- What will happen after Jordan's slip up? Will they find out? Will he get sent home? And what about Shelby's letter that I had to leave out in the last chapter? Will her answer back from Aubrey be a good one?
"I.... I need to go to the bathroom." Jordan said not answering Sophie and Peter's questions directly. He felt sick.
"Sure go ahead." Sophie said letting him up.
Jordan got up and ran the way to the bathroom.
BATHROOM- LODGE-5:45 a.m.
Jordan locked the door behind him as he hurried into the bathroom. He sank down in front of it, breathing hard. He felt like throwing up. Trying to make it to a stall quickly he kneeled in front of it gagging and breathing hard.
"You messed up big time. No one can save you now." He thought to himself. 'Not that they ever could have anyway. You blew it."
"Now there's going to be too many questions. They're nosey anyway and you just gave those vultures something new to nibble on. Good Going moron." He told himself.
He placed his head against the cool porcelain toilet. He felt terrible. He tried counting to 10 but only made it to 4 before he threw up.
MAIN ROOM OF LODGE- 6:00 a.m.
Peter looked at Sophie as they sat on the couch. Jordan had been gone for quite a while now. And Peter was wondering if something was wrong.
"I'll go check on him." Sophie said sensing Peter's questioning.
Sophie got up and walked over to the bathroom, and knocked on the door.
"Jordan are you okay?" she asked.
BATHROOM
Jordan heard the knock on the door between another wave of nausea.
"Jordan are you okay?" he heard the voice of Sophie from the other side.
He raised his head. "Yeah sure." He yelled trying to sound convincing. "I'll be right out."
Sophie must have taken that as an answer because he didn't hear anymore from her.
Finally the nausea passed and Jordan made his way to the sink. Splashing cold water onto his face he looked up in the mirror. He looked awful. His face and eyes now puffy. He willed the puffiness away to keep away more of the unwanted questions. Questions he couldn't answer, and didn't want to answer. He looked awful, the nights of little sleep and lots of worry were catching up with him. His eyes had bags underthem now and it reminded him of all the times he had his nose broken and he got the black rings under his eyes.
"Shape up Jordan." He said sternly to himself. "You look like crap."
'I feel like it too.' Jordan thought to himself.. He splashed more water on his face, turned off the sink and went out of the bathroom
LODGE
Peter and Sophie sat again waiting for Jordan. Peter looked at his watch, it was a little after six now, that meant it was almost 9 in Vermont. He would have to call Jordan's parents soon.
Finally Jordan came in. "Sit down Jordan." Peter said to him.
Jordan immediately obeyed, knowing he couldn't get in trouble anymore.
"Jordan, it's almost 9 in Vermont. We need to call your parents soon." Peter said, "Do you understand?"
Jordan sat looking at the floor, on one particular spot where 2 tiles didn't match correctly. Anything to help him go inside himself and become numb, a skill he had lost momentarily earlier. "Yes sir." He said solemnly.
"Is there anything you would like us to tell them?" Peter asked.
Jordan knew there was nothing he could do that would help him get out of this hole. He didn't say anything just looked at that spot on the floor and concentrated on it.
"Okay then, We'll be right back." Peter and Sophie said going to a phone at the side of the lodge.
Jordan watched them with a tight knot in his stomach. He could only imagine what they were saying to each other. Probably about punishment, about being sent home. Not that any of that mattered anymore he knew it was coming. He was just in survival mode now. Doing whatever he had to to survive, he's grovel at their feet, he's beg them to let him stay, he'd plead with his parents just for one bit of a leniency on punishment. He had done it before, he'd do it again. He wasn't afraid of the begging, he was afraid of the beatings to follow, and if begging helped he'd do it. He'd pretend for them, pretend it didn't matter, and maybe it really didn't. Maybe he just had the notion that he was safe here, and it had been so long since he had been safe. So, so long...
*****FLASHBACK******
Young Jordan snuggled up with his father on the couch. Jordan had a cold and had had to come home from school sick.
"Daddy, I don't feel good." Young Jordan whined.
"Shhhhh." Matthew whispered to his son, brushing his hair off his forehead, "I'm here, I'll make you fell better." He said as Jordan laid his head on his chest.
"Daddy, I love you." Jordan said yawning and snuggling more into the warm safety of his dad.
"I love you to Jordan." Matthew said covering Jordan with a blanket.
"Will mommy be mad at me for missing kindergarten today?" Jordan asked worried, shivering.
Matthew put his arm closer over Jordan, hoping his son would be safe when he was gone, Kendra had already hit him a couple of times. Who would be there to protect his children when he was gone, would it be Jordan? But jordan was so young, to young to be the man of the house. Matthew knew, but he was so sick now, how could he leave them all so soon. How could he leave Jordan.
"Don't you worry about that Jordan," Matthew said kissing his son. "Your safe as long as I'm hear..."
****END OF FLASHBACK*****
Jordan snapped out of the quick look into the past as he saw Peter waiting to talk on the phone. That meant that his mom was getting Jackson on the phone. He hoped that they weren't drunk as the phone call came in. And it was still the weekend. They had probably gone out last night, and Jordan prayed to God they were sober. Though the chances were high that they weren't.
"Yes Mrs. Thomas, we understand....Yes, we'll tell him..." He heard Peter say. "Thank you, have a nice day." Peter said as he hung up.
Jordan took a deep breath and swallowed hard as Peter and Sophie started walking back.
"Jordan we talked to your parents." Sophie said as they went and sat across from him.
Jordan looked at her for a moment, at her face and his for an indication. But he already knew the answer. They were coming. He looked at the floor concentration at the same spot as last time, at the messed up tiles. He nodded his head to show he had heard her.
"They were a bit upset with you Jordan, running and all they said that they thought you were over that." Peter said.
'Yeah sure, a bit upset is an understatement.' He thought to himself cynically, feeling the knot in his stomach constrict more.
"They said that they thought the best thing for you would be for them to take a visit here and see you. To access the situation." Sophie said.
Jordan winced. They visit him? Why don't they just put more salt in the wounds. They would be extra mad for having Jordan 'Trouble their lives' a little bit more. Coming hear would be a distraction. And they would be driving all the way across country. He remembered how mad they had been when they were bringing him here.
****FLASHBACK*****
"Get out of bed. NOW" Jordan heard Kendra screaming in his ear. She grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him hard onto the floor. Then grabbed his hair and pulled him up to face her eyes.
"Not only do we have to pay good money for you to go to this school. We have to drive across the country to get you there." She said smacking him and whipping him onto the bed by his hair. "Now get dressed" she said throwing some clothes at him, including a boot that almost hit his face.
"Yes ma'am." He said softly, as he was pulling on the jeans he had been given.
"Hurry up." She said smacking him again. "NOW! We're leaving in 5 minutes." She said and walked out of the room. Jordan changed as fast as he could and grabbed his stuff to go.
When he got down the stairs Jackson was waiting for him. "You big screw up." Jordan said grabbing him by the collar and throwing him against a counter before Jordan even cleared the last step. "You don't even deserve to be going to this school. But you are." He said. "And you better be good or you are going to pay, got it?" Jackson said punching him at every other word.
"Ye...Yes sir." Jordan gasped in pain.
"Good now lets go." He said releasing Jordan after another slam.
Jordan reluctantly followed them as fast as he could with the pain.
****** END FLASHBACK ******
Jordan didn't speak, he had found his walls again, he needed to. THEY were COMING now! And panic and fear made him such now. He was glad, he felt nothing of what Peter and Sophie could say anymore. He just wanted to be alone. But he couldn't be.
"Okay Jordan, now why don't you go and get ready for breakfast okay? Peter will take you to the dorms so you can get some clothes. The guys were worried about you too." Sophie said.
Jordan got up still not saying anything. He followed Peter out of the room
CLIFFHANGERS GUYSDORM
Scott, Ezra, and Auggie looked at Jordan's empty bed. They felt a little sad and guilty, hoping he was okay, and wondering if there was anything they could have done so that he wouldn't have ran away. While deep in their thoughts they heard a knock on the door.
Peter and Jordan walked in.
"Hey J. You're back Bro." Auggie said.
"The fugitive has returned." Ezra said jokingly.
"Don't you ever make me take time out of my football practice looking for you again." Scott said again jokingly slapping Jordan on the back.
Hi." Jordan just said and went over to his bunk, not even looking at them.
"I'll leave you guys alone for a minute," Peter said walking outside.
The guys waited until Peter was out of the room. Scott was the first one to talk to Jordan.
"Don't go blowing us off Jordan." Scott said a hint of anger in his voice. "We'll put the past behind us. You had a lot on your mind yesterday man, but that's no way to treat us bad."
"Yeah J. That ain't fitting in with us bro. We are trying to accept you here. We're saying we're sorry. We just don't want you taking it out on us whenever something's screwed up in your life." Auggie said.
"Yeah ours are screwed up enough as it is." Ezra said.
Jordan just stood there at his drawers pulling out clothes. "You think I'm treating you guys bad? I'm sorry okay, but believe me I've seen people being treated a lot worse." He said finally.
The guys looked at him. "What do you mean?" Scott asked him softy, in that voice that Shelby had asked in when she had wanted him to say something about the skank.
"Why should I tell you what you mean, you'll blab it to Peter and Sophie." Jordan said.
"Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how juicy it is." Scott said laughing.
Jordan turned back to getting clothes and he slipped on a pair of pants over his boxers. "My dad died of cancer when I was 6. I watched him go from the strong man that used to read me stories and give me piggy back rides to being a skinny man that could hardly breath on his own to being in a casket being lowered into the ground." He said to them angrily. "He didn't deserve that, and I had to watch it happen. Guess how that felt." He said. "Bros." He added bitterly.
"And now mommy and daddy dearest are coming to pay sweet little me a visit in a couple of days."
They guys looked at him astonished. They knew the last part wasn't meant for their ears but they had heard it.
"Sorry man, that's gotta suck." Scott said finally. "I remember what it was like the first time the skank came back."
"Whatever dude, don't compare your problems to mine, I didn't get screwed by my step mom. You don't know anything about my problems okay. So please, please, do me a favor and don't say anything like that. It's not the same." Jordan said not looking at Scott or the others. 'Please, don't say anything' Jordan willed them in his mind.
"Your right it's not the same but something happened to you to, and sooner or later someone is going to find out what." Scott said to him as the guys went to leave him alone.
Jordan sat on his bed, his head between his legs. Taking a deep breath. Finding his cool place, he needed to talk to someone.... He needed Jamie.... She'd know how to cheer him up. She said he could call her... Or e-mail her or whatever. Maybe he should.
He'd asked Peter about e-mail before and peter said he could if it were only from Jamie and his family. He had told that to Jamie and Jamie had e-mailed him before. Maybe she would now, she had to have heard from his parents by now. But that meant begging for permission after what he had done. But begging didn't matter anymore. He decided that he would.
LATER ON- (group session without Jordan)
The rest of the cliffhangers called an emergency meeting without Jordan after breakfast. Jordan was off trying to negotiate computer privileges.
"Peter can we talk about just Jordan for this group?" Kat asked.
"Sure Kat, that's what you called it for isn't it?" Peter asked.
The group nodded their heads.
"Peter, you said when I came here that a major rule was no telling unless you think someone was going to hurt themselves or others right?" Scott asked.
"Yes Scott. I believe you know what you should tell or not."
"What if it's about us thinking of someone hurting someone else?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" Peter asked, thinking he sensed the real meaning but wasn't sure.
"What if we think that someone's parents had hurt them or something like that, should we tell?" Juliet asked, being the innocent one, they had put her up to it.
"Go on," Peter said.
"What if we thought that someone was hurting Jordan, so he wouldn't have to go home then right?" Scott asked.
"It depends, you need to have evidence to back up your claims guys." Peter asked seriously. "Without that you'd have no case, remember Scott, Shelby, you needed evidence in your cases too."
"Um... Do dreams count?" Ezra asked, looking at the guys before he said it.
"What do you mean dreams, Ezra?"
"Jordan's been having nightmares Peter, Like I did before I told." Scott said.
Peter nodded for him to go on.
"But they're... they're different some how." Scott said. "Like something more... I don't know, more violent. Like he'll move around and whine and moan and he's so loud." Scott said, hoping he hadn't betrayed Jordan's trust.
"And he tried to start a fight with us yesterday, before he ran." Auggie said.
"Yeah and he has the weirdest mood swings." Shelby said. "Worse than me."
The group laughed at that after Shelby said that. But the mood soon turned serious again.
"Did you know about his dad Peter?" Ezra asked. The girls looked blankly at Ezra while the guys looked at peter with eyes sharply.
Peter cleared his throat. "Yes, I knew that his father had died."
"Did you know how?" Scott asked.
"Yes, of cancer when Jordan was 6."
"He watched his dad die." Auggie said. "He told us about him when he said that we didn't know what being treated bad was like."
"But we don't think he meant just that Peter, that's why we wanted to talk to you."
"Well then, what do you think Jordan meant?" Peter asked.
"We think....We think..." Auggie began but started chickening out.
"We think that Jordan's the one being treated bad. We think his parents like hurt him." Ezra said.
"No like that Skank did me, with the sex because Jordan said that wasn't it in the dreams, and he was sincere about that unlike I had been when I denied it. We think they like beat him up and stuff."
No one spoke for a while. The looked at each other, it was the thing they all had on their minds, they had seen it before, they knew the signs but it wasn't just another horizon student it was one of their own. Except for Daisy no one had ever suffered physical abuse before, it was always something else. And Daisy was still on the boarder, having hit her father before he had hit her. They didn't know what to do, they'd never felt like that before, having their parents hit them, they knew other things, about harsh words, about sex and rape and incest, about drugs and gangs, but never about hitting and punching and beatings. They didn't know. They couldn't know. And they knew that when he had said all those times 'You don't understand' and 'You haven't been through it' he was right. And they felt hopeless.
Finally Daisy spoke up. "What should we do? Want me to talk to him or something?"
"I don't think confrontation singularly is the best." Peter said. "Maybe the group should together, before his parents come."
IN THE ADMINISTRATION BUILDING
By the graces of the Gods Frank had let Jordan use the computer to see if he had gotten mail from Jamie. As he signed in and typed in his password he hoped that he had gotten some from her. She had promised to write. And when he got there was a message from her...
"Dear Jordan,
Hi! I just wanted to talk to you. I heard you ran way. What are you hiding Jordan? I wish you could tell me. I know there is something you aren't, something you're keeping secret from me. And I don't like it. How come you can't trust me.
I have always Told you everything Jordan. Everything. From the time Mom said she was having Rylan, to the time when I had a crush on Luke Diaz, to the time I told you that I knew Lucky was dying before anyone told me he was. I have never kept a single thing hidden from you. But I know that what your hiding must be the biggest secret that you have, or you would have told me. And you can't tell it to me, why?!?!? I want to know what makes you sad Jordan. What made you cry when I last saw you. Why you haven't been to a mass for your dad in 3 years." "
*******FLASHBACK*******
June 25...
Jordan crept quietly down the stairs, he was 12 now. Dressed in Black pants and a white shirt to go to church with. He always went to church on the anniversary of his fathers death. He had almost made it to the back door when Jackson came into the kitchen.
"Where are you going?" Jackson asked furiously, and Jordan knew that for once he was really sober, but non the less scary.
"To..." Jordan started. "Out." He decided would be the best answer.
"You were going to that church weren;t you?" Jackson asked as he pinned Jordan against the door going into the living room. "You were going for you daddy weren't you? Huh, poor baby, lay a little flower on daddy's grave and say good bye." Jackson laughed mockingly.
"Well let me tell you something, Your little dad died, he's never coming back, he left you. I'm your father now." He said and lifted up his fist and punched Jordan in the face. Blood pouring from Jordan's nose and onto the white shirt he had been wearing to go to church that day. "And don't forget that."
"You shouldn't have tried to sneak out Jordan." Jackson sneered.
"You wouldn't have let me go." Jordan shot back unexpectedly.
Jackson punched the teen in the stomach, knocking the air out of him.
"You wanna say that again?" Jackson asked, raising his hand for another slap.
"Please....let.....me....go" Jordan said gasping for the breath that had left him, and desperately wanting to hold his aching stomach.
"No such luck buddy." Jackson said as he brought his hand down again. Jordan winced as the blows came, once, twice, soon he lost count, until his once white shirt was speckled all red.
************ END FLASHBACK***********
'And she wonders why I don't go to church anymore.' Jordan thought to himself. 'That was the night I got my nose broken and had to miss a week of school till the bruises went away enough to show my face again'
He kept reading:
"I want to know why you can't look me in the eye and tell me anything anymore. What happened? Jordan I know you too well. You might think that Your tough and your cold and all that mocho junk that guys like to think they are. But I know your not.
I have ideas what it is. But I don't like to say them. I don't like to admit that they might be true. That they really are true. And If it's what I don't want to believe, what none of my family wants to, though we all think it one time or another, you should, no NEED, tell the people at that School. Or tell someone.
I wish you could tell me. I'm scared for you Jordan. I've seen you, the bruises you try to explain to me, the ones that I knew you were avoiding me because of. The ones you had no excuses for. Do you even understand that it's wrong Jordan? You don't deserve that, what they do to you. I don't want you hurt but you won't let me do anything for you.
Do you know how many times I sat up at night looking out my window over to your house hoping and praying you were okay. All those times that I was home and I saw those cop cars coming over. Why Jordan? Why were they there? Answer me. GOD why can't you just say it. I know it's true, they hit you Jordan. Please please trust me. I love you so much. So so so much. Well I guess that's all I wanted to say. Please take my words to heart Jordan.
I love you,
Jamie."
Tears were coming to Jordan's eyes but he furiously wiped them away. He was hurting her. He had tried to keep it a secret from her, but in his heart he knew she knew. But could he bring himself to tell her what she already knew? What was the point. And all that stuff about not telling, about not trusting her, he remembered so clearly that day when he decided for good he couldn't tell her, that he couldn't bare to tell her.
***********FLASHBACK****************
"Ouch, Crap." 13 year old Jordan said wincing in pain as he pealed his t-shirt from his badly beaten up back. They had gotten mad at their jobs or something and had gone after him again. He hated it when they took it out on him.
Jordan could tell his back looked bad. The shirt had stuck because of blood, and it hurt to peal it off. And added to the bruises there from the times before it was bad. He had told Jackson to stop hitting him with the belt, that the bruises wouldn't fade and he had gym when he went back and they would still be there. But then his mom started hitting him with something else. Jordan couldn't remember but it had felt like the cord they sometimes hit him with.
Looked in the mirror their were bruises already on his stomach where they hit when he had moved. And his lip was puffy. That's when he remembered he was supposed to go swimming with Jamie.
"Oh shoot." He sighed.
He winced as he went and sat on his bed. Sitting, laying, walking everything hurt to do. He thought of Jamie. He was supposed to go swimming with her. But he couldn't looking like this. He was ashamed. It was his fault, he had been in their way when they were in a bad mood. He had come home late and made a dinner they didn't want. He deserved it, he was a bad boy and bad boys needed to be punished. That's what Kendra said wasn't it. What would Jamie think of him now. To know he was bad, and weak, he had cried any way. Even though Jackson had hit him more for crying Jordan hadn't stopped until the pain got to bad.
And then he could see the look on Jamie's face. What would she think? Would she be sickened. By him, by the pain his parents had caused him. Who? That's when he remembered the last time he had accidentally come over with a black eye and her parents, the ones he loved so much, had asked questions. Questions like the cops and the doctors and the social workers had asked. It had scared him. He had felt safe until the questions. He couldn't tell her, he could never tell her what they had done to him. There would be more questions, and though he could handle them from everyone else, he couldn't handle the questions form Jamie, and her family. They hurt to much to answer.
He went to the bathroom (there was a phone there). He dialed Jamie's number.
"Hello?" Wendy (Jamie's mom) answered.
"Hi, Mrs. G. Is Jamie there?" Jordan asked, making himself sound sick on the phone.
"Sure wait a minute." She said to Jordan. There was a pause before Jamie came on the line.
"Hey Jordan," Jamie said as she got to the phone. "Whats up, ready to go swimming?" she asked happily, they were all going to the beach today.
"Um, Hi Jamie. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." He said pitifully.
"What do you mean?" Jamie answered sounding sad.
"I can't go."
"Why not?" Jamie asked disappointed. "Is everything okay, I mean at home and stuff?" she asked with concern.
"Yeah, I just can't. I mean I don't feel good, and I just can't go." He said.
"Are you sure?" she asked uncertain.
"Yes, I just don't feel good." He said a little to insistently.
"Then I'll bring you chicken soup or something later, to help you feel better." She said.
"No, that's okay you really don't have to." He said, knowing the consequences if she did would be dire, and he couldn't handle being hit badly again.
"But I..." she whined.
"No, it's okay, I'll feel better." He said. "I promise Jams."
"Okay." She said finally and hesitently. "I'll talk to you later than Jordan." She said. "Buh Bye!"
"Bye Jamie" he said hanging up.
*************END FLASHBACK*************
She hadn't come over that day, and Jordan was glad, the bruises had taken a long time to fade, and took a lot of effort to keep hidden from her. But now she knew, she knew what really was wrong with him. Jordan thought if he should tell, stop hurting her. Or not and save himself.
TO BE CONTINUED
Okay guys this was the end of this chapter. What will happen next? Will Jordan write to Jamie and finally tell her the truth after all these years, or will he chicken out and pull out at the last minute? What will the group say when they confront him? What will Aubrey say in response to Shelby's letter? And How will Scott feel when he finds out what Aubrey has to say? And also the big question... What will happen when Jordan's parents come for there little visit???
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original Higher ground Characters but I do own all the new ones. I own Jordan Thomas and all his relations. Also His best friend Jamie. I also own Aubrey, Shelby's friend, and Jill Trinity, the mail lady.
In this chapter- What will happen after Jordan's slip up? Will they find out? Will he get sent home? And what about Shelby's letter that I had to leave out in the last chapter? Will her answer back from Aubrey be a good one?
"I.... I need to go to the bathroom." Jordan said not answering Sophie and Peter's questions directly. He felt sick.
"Sure go ahead." Sophie said letting him up.
Jordan got up and ran the way to the bathroom.
BATHROOM- LODGE-5:45 a.m.
Jordan locked the door behind him as he hurried into the bathroom. He sank down in front of it, breathing hard. He felt like throwing up. Trying to make it to a stall quickly he kneeled in front of it gagging and breathing hard.
"You messed up big time. No one can save you now." He thought to himself. 'Not that they ever could have anyway. You blew it."
"Now there's going to be too many questions. They're nosey anyway and you just gave those vultures something new to nibble on. Good Going moron." He told himself.
He placed his head against the cool porcelain toilet. He felt terrible. He tried counting to 10 but only made it to 4 before he threw up.
MAIN ROOM OF LODGE- 6:00 a.m.
Peter looked at Sophie as they sat on the couch. Jordan had been gone for quite a while now. And Peter was wondering if something was wrong.
"I'll go check on him." Sophie said sensing Peter's questioning.
Sophie got up and walked over to the bathroom, and knocked on the door.
"Jordan are you okay?" she asked.
BATHROOM
Jordan heard the knock on the door between another wave of nausea.
"Jordan are you okay?" he heard the voice of Sophie from the other side.
He raised his head. "Yeah sure." He yelled trying to sound convincing. "I'll be right out."
Sophie must have taken that as an answer because he didn't hear anymore from her.
Finally the nausea passed and Jordan made his way to the sink. Splashing cold water onto his face he looked up in the mirror. He looked awful. His face and eyes now puffy. He willed the puffiness away to keep away more of the unwanted questions. Questions he couldn't answer, and didn't want to answer. He looked awful, the nights of little sleep and lots of worry were catching up with him. His eyes had bags underthem now and it reminded him of all the times he had his nose broken and he got the black rings under his eyes.
"Shape up Jordan." He said sternly to himself. "You look like crap."
'I feel like it too.' Jordan thought to himself.. He splashed more water on his face, turned off the sink and went out of the bathroom
LODGE
Peter and Sophie sat again waiting for Jordan. Peter looked at his watch, it was a little after six now, that meant it was almost 9 in Vermont. He would have to call Jordan's parents soon.
Finally Jordan came in. "Sit down Jordan." Peter said to him.
Jordan immediately obeyed, knowing he couldn't get in trouble anymore.
"Jordan, it's almost 9 in Vermont. We need to call your parents soon." Peter said, "Do you understand?"
Jordan sat looking at the floor, on one particular spot where 2 tiles didn't match correctly. Anything to help him go inside himself and become numb, a skill he had lost momentarily earlier. "Yes sir." He said solemnly.
"Is there anything you would like us to tell them?" Peter asked.
Jordan knew there was nothing he could do that would help him get out of this hole. He didn't say anything just looked at that spot on the floor and concentrated on it.
"Okay then, We'll be right back." Peter and Sophie said going to a phone at the side of the lodge.
Jordan watched them with a tight knot in his stomach. He could only imagine what they were saying to each other. Probably about punishment, about being sent home. Not that any of that mattered anymore he knew it was coming. He was just in survival mode now. Doing whatever he had to to survive, he's grovel at their feet, he's beg them to let him stay, he'd plead with his parents just for one bit of a leniency on punishment. He had done it before, he'd do it again. He wasn't afraid of the begging, he was afraid of the beatings to follow, and if begging helped he'd do it. He'd pretend for them, pretend it didn't matter, and maybe it really didn't. Maybe he just had the notion that he was safe here, and it had been so long since he had been safe. So, so long...
*****FLASHBACK******
Young Jordan snuggled up with his father on the couch. Jordan had a cold and had had to come home from school sick.
"Daddy, I don't feel good." Young Jordan whined.
"Shhhhh." Matthew whispered to his son, brushing his hair off his forehead, "I'm here, I'll make you fell better." He said as Jordan laid his head on his chest.
"Daddy, I love you." Jordan said yawning and snuggling more into the warm safety of his dad.
"I love you to Jordan." Matthew said covering Jordan with a blanket.
"Will mommy be mad at me for missing kindergarten today?" Jordan asked worried, shivering.
Matthew put his arm closer over Jordan, hoping his son would be safe when he was gone, Kendra had already hit him a couple of times. Who would be there to protect his children when he was gone, would it be Jordan? But jordan was so young, to young to be the man of the house. Matthew knew, but he was so sick now, how could he leave them all so soon. How could he leave Jordan.
"Don't you worry about that Jordan," Matthew said kissing his son. "Your safe as long as I'm hear..."
****END OF FLASHBACK*****
Jordan snapped out of the quick look into the past as he saw Peter waiting to talk on the phone. That meant that his mom was getting Jackson on the phone. He hoped that they weren't drunk as the phone call came in. And it was still the weekend. They had probably gone out last night, and Jordan prayed to God they were sober. Though the chances were high that they weren't.
"Yes Mrs. Thomas, we understand....Yes, we'll tell him..." He heard Peter say. "Thank you, have a nice day." Peter said as he hung up.
Jordan took a deep breath and swallowed hard as Peter and Sophie started walking back.
"Jordan we talked to your parents." Sophie said as they went and sat across from him.
Jordan looked at her for a moment, at her face and his for an indication. But he already knew the answer. They were coming. He looked at the floor concentration at the same spot as last time, at the messed up tiles. He nodded his head to show he had heard her.
"They were a bit upset with you Jordan, running and all they said that they thought you were over that." Peter said.
'Yeah sure, a bit upset is an understatement.' He thought to himself cynically, feeling the knot in his stomach constrict more.
"They said that they thought the best thing for you would be for them to take a visit here and see you. To access the situation." Sophie said.
Jordan winced. They visit him? Why don't they just put more salt in the wounds. They would be extra mad for having Jordan 'Trouble their lives' a little bit more. Coming hear would be a distraction. And they would be driving all the way across country. He remembered how mad they had been when they were bringing him here.
****FLASHBACK*****
"Get out of bed. NOW" Jordan heard Kendra screaming in his ear. She grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him hard onto the floor. Then grabbed his hair and pulled him up to face her eyes.
"Not only do we have to pay good money for you to go to this school. We have to drive across the country to get you there." She said smacking him and whipping him onto the bed by his hair. "Now get dressed" she said throwing some clothes at him, including a boot that almost hit his face.
"Yes ma'am." He said softly, as he was pulling on the jeans he had been given.
"Hurry up." She said smacking him again. "NOW! We're leaving in 5 minutes." She said and walked out of the room. Jordan changed as fast as he could and grabbed his stuff to go.
When he got down the stairs Jackson was waiting for him. "You big screw up." Jordan said grabbing him by the collar and throwing him against a counter before Jordan even cleared the last step. "You don't even deserve to be going to this school. But you are." He said. "And you better be good or you are going to pay, got it?" Jackson said punching him at every other word.
"Ye...Yes sir." Jordan gasped in pain.
"Good now lets go." He said releasing Jordan after another slam.
Jordan reluctantly followed them as fast as he could with the pain.
****** END FLASHBACK ******
Jordan didn't speak, he had found his walls again, he needed to. THEY were COMING now! And panic and fear made him such now. He was glad, he felt nothing of what Peter and Sophie could say anymore. He just wanted to be alone. But he couldn't be.
"Okay Jordan, now why don't you go and get ready for breakfast okay? Peter will take you to the dorms so you can get some clothes. The guys were worried about you too." Sophie said.
Jordan got up still not saying anything. He followed Peter out of the room
CLIFFHANGERS GUYSDORM
Scott, Ezra, and Auggie looked at Jordan's empty bed. They felt a little sad and guilty, hoping he was okay, and wondering if there was anything they could have done so that he wouldn't have ran away. While deep in their thoughts they heard a knock on the door.
Peter and Jordan walked in.
"Hey J. You're back Bro." Auggie said.
"The fugitive has returned." Ezra said jokingly.
"Don't you ever make me take time out of my football practice looking for you again." Scott said again jokingly slapping Jordan on the back.
Hi." Jordan just said and went over to his bunk, not even looking at them.
"I'll leave you guys alone for a minute," Peter said walking outside.
The guys waited until Peter was out of the room. Scott was the first one to talk to Jordan.
"Don't go blowing us off Jordan." Scott said a hint of anger in his voice. "We'll put the past behind us. You had a lot on your mind yesterday man, but that's no way to treat us bad."
"Yeah J. That ain't fitting in with us bro. We are trying to accept you here. We're saying we're sorry. We just don't want you taking it out on us whenever something's screwed up in your life." Auggie said.
"Yeah ours are screwed up enough as it is." Ezra said.
Jordan just stood there at his drawers pulling out clothes. "You think I'm treating you guys bad? I'm sorry okay, but believe me I've seen people being treated a lot worse." He said finally.
The guys looked at him. "What do you mean?" Scott asked him softy, in that voice that Shelby had asked in when she had wanted him to say something about the skank.
"Why should I tell you what you mean, you'll blab it to Peter and Sophie." Jordan said.
"Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how juicy it is." Scott said laughing.
Jordan turned back to getting clothes and he slipped on a pair of pants over his boxers. "My dad died of cancer when I was 6. I watched him go from the strong man that used to read me stories and give me piggy back rides to being a skinny man that could hardly breath on his own to being in a casket being lowered into the ground." He said to them angrily. "He didn't deserve that, and I had to watch it happen. Guess how that felt." He said. "Bros." He added bitterly.
"And now mommy and daddy dearest are coming to pay sweet little me a visit in a couple of days."
They guys looked at him astonished. They knew the last part wasn't meant for their ears but they had heard it.
"Sorry man, that's gotta suck." Scott said finally. "I remember what it was like the first time the skank came back."
"Whatever dude, don't compare your problems to mine, I didn't get screwed by my step mom. You don't know anything about my problems okay. So please, please, do me a favor and don't say anything like that. It's not the same." Jordan said not looking at Scott or the others. 'Please, don't say anything' Jordan willed them in his mind.
"Your right it's not the same but something happened to you to, and sooner or later someone is going to find out what." Scott said to him as the guys went to leave him alone.
Jordan sat on his bed, his head between his legs. Taking a deep breath. Finding his cool place, he needed to talk to someone.... He needed Jamie.... She'd know how to cheer him up. She said he could call her... Or e-mail her or whatever. Maybe he should.
He'd asked Peter about e-mail before and peter said he could if it were only from Jamie and his family. He had told that to Jamie and Jamie had e-mailed him before. Maybe she would now, she had to have heard from his parents by now. But that meant begging for permission after what he had done. But begging didn't matter anymore. He decided that he would.
LATER ON- (group session without Jordan)
The rest of the cliffhangers called an emergency meeting without Jordan after breakfast. Jordan was off trying to negotiate computer privileges.
"Peter can we talk about just Jordan for this group?" Kat asked.
"Sure Kat, that's what you called it for isn't it?" Peter asked.
The group nodded their heads.
"Peter, you said when I came here that a major rule was no telling unless you think someone was going to hurt themselves or others right?" Scott asked.
"Yes Scott. I believe you know what you should tell or not."
"What if it's about us thinking of someone hurting someone else?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" Peter asked, thinking he sensed the real meaning but wasn't sure.
"What if we think that someone's parents had hurt them or something like that, should we tell?" Juliet asked, being the innocent one, they had put her up to it.
"Go on," Peter said.
"What if we thought that someone was hurting Jordan, so he wouldn't have to go home then right?" Scott asked.
"It depends, you need to have evidence to back up your claims guys." Peter asked seriously. "Without that you'd have no case, remember Scott, Shelby, you needed evidence in your cases too."
"Um... Do dreams count?" Ezra asked, looking at the guys before he said it.
"What do you mean dreams, Ezra?"
"Jordan's been having nightmares Peter, Like I did before I told." Scott said.
Peter nodded for him to go on.
"But they're... they're different some how." Scott said. "Like something more... I don't know, more violent. Like he'll move around and whine and moan and he's so loud." Scott said, hoping he hadn't betrayed Jordan's trust.
"And he tried to start a fight with us yesterday, before he ran." Auggie said.
"Yeah and he has the weirdest mood swings." Shelby said. "Worse than me."
The group laughed at that after Shelby said that. But the mood soon turned serious again.
"Did you know about his dad Peter?" Ezra asked. The girls looked blankly at Ezra while the guys looked at peter with eyes sharply.
Peter cleared his throat. "Yes, I knew that his father had died."
"Did you know how?" Scott asked.
"Yes, of cancer when Jordan was 6."
"He watched his dad die." Auggie said. "He told us about him when he said that we didn't know what being treated bad was like."
"But we don't think he meant just that Peter, that's why we wanted to talk to you."
"Well then, what do you think Jordan meant?" Peter asked.
"We think....We think..." Auggie began but started chickening out.
"We think that Jordan's the one being treated bad. We think his parents like hurt him." Ezra said.
"No like that Skank did me, with the sex because Jordan said that wasn't it in the dreams, and he was sincere about that unlike I had been when I denied it. We think they like beat him up and stuff."
No one spoke for a while. The looked at each other, it was the thing they all had on their minds, they had seen it before, they knew the signs but it wasn't just another horizon student it was one of their own. Except for Daisy no one had ever suffered physical abuse before, it was always something else. And Daisy was still on the boarder, having hit her father before he had hit her. They didn't know what to do, they'd never felt like that before, having their parents hit them, they knew other things, about harsh words, about sex and rape and incest, about drugs and gangs, but never about hitting and punching and beatings. They didn't know. They couldn't know. And they knew that when he had said all those times 'You don't understand' and 'You haven't been through it' he was right. And they felt hopeless.
Finally Daisy spoke up. "What should we do? Want me to talk to him or something?"
"I don't think confrontation singularly is the best." Peter said. "Maybe the group should together, before his parents come."
IN THE ADMINISTRATION BUILDING
By the graces of the Gods Frank had let Jordan use the computer to see if he had gotten mail from Jamie. As he signed in and typed in his password he hoped that he had gotten some from her. She had promised to write. And when he got there was a message from her...
"Dear Jordan,
Hi! I just wanted to talk to you. I heard you ran way. What are you hiding Jordan? I wish you could tell me. I know there is something you aren't, something you're keeping secret from me. And I don't like it. How come you can't trust me.
I have always Told you everything Jordan. Everything. From the time Mom said she was having Rylan, to the time when I had a crush on Luke Diaz, to the time I told you that I knew Lucky was dying before anyone told me he was. I have never kept a single thing hidden from you. But I know that what your hiding must be the biggest secret that you have, or you would have told me. And you can't tell it to me, why?!?!? I want to know what makes you sad Jordan. What made you cry when I last saw you. Why you haven't been to a mass for your dad in 3 years." "
*******FLASHBACK*******
June 25...
Jordan crept quietly down the stairs, he was 12 now. Dressed in Black pants and a white shirt to go to church with. He always went to church on the anniversary of his fathers death. He had almost made it to the back door when Jackson came into the kitchen.
"Where are you going?" Jackson asked furiously, and Jordan knew that for once he was really sober, but non the less scary.
"To..." Jordan started. "Out." He decided would be the best answer.
"You were going to that church weren;t you?" Jackson asked as he pinned Jordan against the door going into the living room. "You were going for you daddy weren't you? Huh, poor baby, lay a little flower on daddy's grave and say good bye." Jackson laughed mockingly.
"Well let me tell you something, Your little dad died, he's never coming back, he left you. I'm your father now." He said and lifted up his fist and punched Jordan in the face. Blood pouring from Jordan's nose and onto the white shirt he had been wearing to go to church that day. "And don't forget that."
"You shouldn't have tried to sneak out Jordan." Jackson sneered.
"You wouldn't have let me go." Jordan shot back unexpectedly.
Jackson punched the teen in the stomach, knocking the air out of him.
"You wanna say that again?" Jackson asked, raising his hand for another slap.
"Please....let.....me....go" Jordan said gasping for the breath that had left him, and desperately wanting to hold his aching stomach.
"No such luck buddy." Jackson said as he brought his hand down again. Jordan winced as the blows came, once, twice, soon he lost count, until his once white shirt was speckled all red.
************ END FLASHBACK***********
'And she wonders why I don't go to church anymore.' Jordan thought to himself. 'That was the night I got my nose broken and had to miss a week of school till the bruises went away enough to show my face again'
He kept reading:
"I want to know why you can't look me in the eye and tell me anything anymore. What happened? Jordan I know you too well. You might think that Your tough and your cold and all that mocho junk that guys like to think they are. But I know your not.
I have ideas what it is. But I don't like to say them. I don't like to admit that they might be true. That they really are true. And If it's what I don't want to believe, what none of my family wants to, though we all think it one time or another, you should, no NEED, tell the people at that School. Or tell someone.
I wish you could tell me. I'm scared for you Jordan. I've seen you, the bruises you try to explain to me, the ones that I knew you were avoiding me because of. The ones you had no excuses for. Do you even understand that it's wrong Jordan? You don't deserve that, what they do to you. I don't want you hurt but you won't let me do anything for you.
Do you know how many times I sat up at night looking out my window over to your house hoping and praying you were okay. All those times that I was home and I saw those cop cars coming over. Why Jordan? Why were they there? Answer me. GOD why can't you just say it. I know it's true, they hit you Jordan. Please please trust me. I love you so much. So so so much. Well I guess that's all I wanted to say. Please take my words to heart Jordan.
I love you,
Jamie."
Tears were coming to Jordan's eyes but he furiously wiped them away. He was hurting her. He had tried to keep it a secret from her, but in his heart he knew she knew. But could he bring himself to tell her what she already knew? What was the point. And all that stuff about not telling, about not trusting her, he remembered so clearly that day when he decided for good he couldn't tell her, that he couldn't bare to tell her.
***********FLASHBACK****************
"Ouch, Crap." 13 year old Jordan said wincing in pain as he pealed his t-shirt from his badly beaten up back. They had gotten mad at their jobs or something and had gone after him again. He hated it when they took it out on him.
Jordan could tell his back looked bad. The shirt had stuck because of blood, and it hurt to peal it off. And added to the bruises there from the times before it was bad. He had told Jackson to stop hitting him with the belt, that the bruises wouldn't fade and he had gym when he went back and they would still be there. But then his mom started hitting him with something else. Jordan couldn't remember but it had felt like the cord they sometimes hit him with.
Looked in the mirror their were bruises already on his stomach where they hit when he had moved. And his lip was puffy. That's when he remembered he was supposed to go swimming with Jamie.
"Oh shoot." He sighed.
He winced as he went and sat on his bed. Sitting, laying, walking everything hurt to do. He thought of Jamie. He was supposed to go swimming with her. But he couldn't looking like this. He was ashamed. It was his fault, he had been in their way when they were in a bad mood. He had come home late and made a dinner they didn't want. He deserved it, he was a bad boy and bad boys needed to be punished. That's what Kendra said wasn't it. What would Jamie think of him now. To know he was bad, and weak, he had cried any way. Even though Jackson had hit him more for crying Jordan hadn't stopped until the pain got to bad.
And then he could see the look on Jamie's face. What would she think? Would she be sickened. By him, by the pain his parents had caused him. Who? That's when he remembered the last time he had accidentally come over with a black eye and her parents, the ones he loved so much, had asked questions. Questions like the cops and the doctors and the social workers had asked. It had scared him. He had felt safe until the questions. He couldn't tell her, he could never tell her what they had done to him. There would be more questions, and though he could handle them from everyone else, he couldn't handle the questions form Jamie, and her family. They hurt to much to answer.
He went to the bathroom (there was a phone there). He dialed Jamie's number.
"Hello?" Wendy (Jamie's mom) answered.
"Hi, Mrs. G. Is Jamie there?" Jordan asked, making himself sound sick on the phone.
"Sure wait a minute." She said to Jordan. There was a pause before Jamie came on the line.
"Hey Jordan," Jamie said as she got to the phone. "Whats up, ready to go swimming?" she asked happily, they were all going to the beach today.
"Um, Hi Jamie. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." He said pitifully.
"What do you mean?" Jamie answered sounding sad.
"I can't go."
"Why not?" Jamie asked disappointed. "Is everything okay, I mean at home and stuff?" she asked with concern.
"Yeah, I just can't. I mean I don't feel good, and I just can't go." He said.
"Are you sure?" she asked uncertain.
"Yes, I just don't feel good." He said a little to insistently.
"Then I'll bring you chicken soup or something later, to help you feel better." She said.
"No, that's okay you really don't have to." He said, knowing the consequences if she did would be dire, and he couldn't handle being hit badly again.
"But I..." she whined.
"No, it's okay, I'll feel better." He said. "I promise Jams."
"Okay." She said finally and hesitently. "I'll talk to you later than Jordan." She said. "Buh Bye!"
"Bye Jamie" he said hanging up.
*************END FLASHBACK*************
She hadn't come over that day, and Jordan was glad, the bruises had taken a long time to fade, and took a lot of effort to keep hidden from her. But now she knew, she knew what really was wrong with him. Jordan thought if he should tell, stop hurting her. Or not and save himself.
TO BE CONTINUED
Okay guys this was the end of this chapter. What will happen next? Will Jordan write to Jamie and finally tell her the truth after all these years, or will he chicken out and pull out at the last minute? What will the group say when they confront him? What will Aubrey say in response to Shelby's letter? And How will Scott feel when he finds out what Aubrey has to say? And also the big question... What will happen when Jordan's parents come for there little visit???