Memories- Part 14
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original higher ground member. But I do own all the new ones, Like Jordan, Jamie, and Aubrey and Jill etc...
In this chapter- Okay Trying to condense a little, so Group, Jamie, Letter from Aubrey, and the 'rents visit....
Oh yeah and a note. Jordan says a very controversial statement during the first group session. If it offends any victims of abuse. I am sorry, but you must think of where Jordan is coming from.
Okay guys.. I AM SOOOO SORRY this took so long to write. It was hard, I didn't know what to make happen. I know, I suck with that part... Anyway here you are!
Computer Lab
Jordan looked at the screen. He knew he should call her. He went to the phone that Peter and Sophie had in their office, for the kids. He dialed her number.
"Hello?"
Jordan sighed a sigh of relief that it was Jamie. "Hey." he said trying to sound cheerful.
"Jordan, is that you?" Jamie asked with surprise.
"I'm sorry Jamie." he blurted out. "I'm really really sorry."
"Sorry for what Jordan?" Jamie asked, concerned for her best friend.
There was a pause as Jordan thought for a minute, regretting the call somewhat. Why had he thought that he could tell her.
"I'm sorry I hurt you." he said. "I'm sorry I made you scared, I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I hid things from you, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you stuff, that though I trust you with everything else that I couldn't tell you. I'm sorry...." he said almost on the point of crying as Jamie stopped him.
"What? Why do you have to be sorry?" she asked.
"I got your e-mail I know I hurt you." he said. "I made you sad that you thought I couldn't trust you."
"Jordan don't worry..." she said.
"You can't tell anyone Jamie." Jordan said insistently, "You can't tell anyone what I tell you."
"Jor...." Jamie started but Jordan stopped her.
"No Jamie, Promise me, because if you don't I'll hang up right now." he said seriously.
"Fine," Jamie said, trying to get him to keep talking.
Jordan breathed in deeply. It was scary, he had never told Jamie or anyone else anything that had ever happened in his house, no one. He couldn't think of what to say to her, without looking like the wuss and the jerk he thought that he was.
"How did you know?" Jordan whispered. "How could you know?"
"I know you too well Jordan, I've known you since I was a baby, don't you think that I would know what was wrong." Jamie asked him. "I saw you change. Change right before my eyes. After Matthew..." she said then changed it. "After your dad died, you changed." She said pausing.
"You weren't the same anymore. You weren't the Jordan that I had eaten ice cream with on the forth of July, the Jordan that kissed me in the pear tree, you weren't the one that Had pulled out his baby tooth when I was to afraid to pull out mine." she said laughing.
'Those were the good times,' Jordan thought.
"You just changed." she said sadly.
"I had to." Jordan finally said. "Don't you understand that Jamie, I had to." he said.
"No I don't understand Jordan!" she said almost yelling at him. "If I got it I wouldn't be having this conversation with you." she said.
"Jamie Don't..." he said softly.
"Don't what?" she asked almost angrily.
"Don't yell at me." Jordan said softly, defeated. "I did what I had to do." he said, knowing it sounded pathetic.
"Don't try the mocho thing Jordan, please. It's not you. Tell me the truth." She said. "Please, please Jordan tell me the truth."
He swallowed hard, Jamie could hear it at the end of the phone.
"After daddy died, mom changed." he started. "Even when daddy was sick she was changing. She would hit me and I'd run to daddy and cry." he said. "But when daddy was gone there was no one there."
Jordan waited for Jamie to say something, but when she didn't Jordan continued. "She started to hit me a lot, after the funeral. I was bad, I was a pain. But it hurt, and I tried to be good. But It wasn't enough." he said pausing. "Then she married Jackson. They wanted me to forget about daddy, tried to beat it out of me. I had to, I had to forget to keep from getting hit, I didn't want to get hit Jamie. I wanted mom and Jackson to love me, but I was to bad and they hit me."
He paused for a minute. "And you wonder why I don't go to church." he said almost laughing. "Cause I don't want to get my nose broken again. Is that such a sin." he asked.
The words were like a slap on the face to Jamie.
"Then I had to protect Dillion and Hailey Jade. They meant everything to me Jamie, everything. I would have died for them if it meant they were safe. When the cops came that time to take them away, I almost died. Gram and Pop didn't want me, and I was back here. Without them... Without the only people I had left." he said holding back the tears that were in his eyes, but Jamie could hear the sadness in his voice. "They took daddy and then Dillion and Hailey. And I was bad. All I wanted was the best for them, I didn't want them taken away from me. It wasn't fair."
"It's not fair Jordan." Jamie said almost crying herself.
"And then when your parents started asking questions. Jamie that was so hard. The only people that are supposed to ask questions are cops and doctors. And their so stupid and easy to lie to. I had to lie Jamie, It makes them madder, they'd kill me if they knew I told you or anyone else, they would kill me Jamie, you need to understand that." he said stressing the last sentence.
"When they asked questions I couldn't look at you, I couldn't come back. I didn't want you to know I was bad. To think I was a horrible person, and a Jerk. It's my fault they hit me."
"NO IT'S NOT!" Jamie shouted at him.
"I deserv..." he started.
"NO YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON JORDAN. UNDERSTAND THAT."
"No..." Jordan staggered. "No, no, no. I'm bad. That's what mom and Jackson and everyone say..." he staggered, saying what had been drilled in his head thousands of times.
"Jordan their not everyone...." Jamie said.
Jordan couldn't hear this, it was to bad, to scary. "SHUT UP.... JUST SHUT UP!!!" he yelled "Please."
"No, I'm not going to. It's wrong Jordan. What they did...." Jamie said,
"I shouldn't have told you. You sound like them... You sound like the cops and the doctors and the social workers... You sound like them Jamie. Stop please, I thought you were different... Please, you can't..." he paused. "You can't be like them." he said beggingly. "You need to tell." Jamie said softly.
"I shouldn't have done this." Jordan said. "I shouldn't....I shouldn't...."
"Jordan, are you okay?" Jamie said and then thinking how stupid her question was.
"Do you know how much trouble I'm in Jamie?" he asked seriously.
Jamie knew she didn't need to answer, Jordan would tell her.
"I ran away from here Jamie. Mom and Jackson are coming on Thursday. 4 DAYS! AND I JUST TOLD! They're going to kill me Jamie. And I can't...I really don't want to get hit by them again. It hurt so bad before we left. And then Peter and Sophie their so nosy. Their sticking their noses in everything. And I stole my records Jamie. Get it I STOLE THEM. From Peter and Sophie's office. I am in so deep, I've been so bad Jamie. So bad." he said to her.
"Jordan everything will be o...." Jamie was starting, but Jordan couldn't hear the rest.
"I love you Jamie." he said quickly. "Bye." he said hanging up before she could say anything else. And he prayed that she wouldn't say anything to her parents. And He knew she wouldn't...
********FLASHBACK*********
Jordan sat on the swing in Jamie's back yard. She was swinging next to him. She was sucking on a lollipop. Jordan sat swaying slightly on the swing as Jamie swing far up and back. But as she looked at Jordan's face, traced with sadness she abruptly stopped.
"Jordan what's wrong?" she asked as she stopped swinging.
"Promise you won't tell?" he asked. "Ever?"
"Yes, I promise." she said meaning the words truly.
He swayed for a few more minutes, not saying anything. "Mom and Jackson hurt Hailey Jade and Dillion." he said softly. "That's why they're gone."
"Did they ever..." she began to ask.
"No." he said flatly and insistently. Jamie didn't question him.
"If your parents ask tell them that mom and Jackson couldn't take care of them right now cause money is tight okay?!?!" he said begginly.
"But why?" she asked.
"Just promise okay. The end." he said sticking out his pinkie for a pinkie promise.
"Okay I promise." she said sticking out her pinkie.
***********END FLASHBACK**********
LATER ON IN GROUP
The cliffhangers settled down for group. Jordan sat on the floor, Ezra and Daisy on the loveseat, Scott and Shelby on the chair, and Juliet, Auggie, and Kat on the couch. Peter and Sophie stood up near the fire place.
"So Jordan this is your first group since you ran." Sophie said. "Feels weird doesn't it."
Jordan didn't respond, he just pulled his knees tighter to his chest.
"Okay then." Peter said when Jordan didn't answer. "Lets to a game, Fill in this sentence, Something that bothers me is....." Peter told them. "Jordan you go first."
"Something that bothers me is when people don't mind their own business." he said flatly. "Ezra."
"Something that bothers me is the nasty food that they serve here sometimes." he said as the group laughed. "Juliet."
"Something that bothers me is..." Juliet said thinking, "Is when my mom says I'm not good enough."
"But you are Jules." Auggie said putting his arm around her.
"No interrupting Auggie." Sophie said. "Juliet call on someone."
"Kat."
"Something that bothers me is that I'm so worried about college." she said. "Auggie."
"Good one Kat." Peter said.
"Something that bothers me is when people act prejudice of me because of where I grew up." he said. "Ain't that true homes."
Scott laughed. "So true bro." he said knocking knuckles with Auggie, the group laughed.
"Serious you two." Daisy said making fun of Peter and Sophie, they didn't want Jordan to think something was totally up anyway.
"Okay, Daisy it's your turn then." Auggie said.
"Something that bothers me is when people live behind masks." she said. "Shelby."
"Something that bothers me is when guys think I'm easy cause of my past." she said. "Scott."
"Something that bothers me is when people hurt their kids." Scott said indirectly directing the comment at Jordan.
"What if they deserve it?" he said.
"What???" Scott asked kind of mad, he'd been hurt. Though he thought that was what Jordan's reaction would be it still stung.
"I don't mean like what happened to you, being like sexually molested and raped and all that. But if a parent hits their kid cause their kid was bad or something, and needed to be punished then they deserve it. They deserve all the pain they get. They've just gotta deal with it." he said.
"There are other ways to punish your kids." Auggie said. "I mean some people where I lived hit their kids, some hit their kids a lot." he said then stopped for a minute, "My neighbor Hector, he was a good kid but his parents whacked him all the time, they landed him in the hospital a couple of times before he got taken away for good. He was my friend and I hated going over to his house cause his parents would always hit him and he never did anything." he said the group hushed, they hadn't known that.
"That's tough." Scott said finally.
"My parents never hit me." Daisy. "They came home drunk sure, but they never laid a hand on me, until the time I hit the old man with the 7 iron."
"My mom and dad never laid a finger on me." Scott said. "It was the skank that did."
"They just didn't care." Juliet said not needing to say anymore, her mom rarely even hugged her. Sensing her sadness Auggie placed his hand on her shoulder and lightly squeezed it so she would know he was there.
"My parents spanked me once." Kat said. "When I ran into the street when a car was coming and almost got hit. Then they cried and hugged me."
"Same with mine." Ezra said. "Accept mine was when they found me doing acid in my room. My dad was so mad that I would do that to myself. It was right before he sent me here. I don't think that he ever forgave himself for doing it to me either."
The group looked at Jordan for his reaction.
"What?" he asked. "What, my parents hit me. So what, it's not like they do it all the time. Only when I'm bad." he said.
'Which just seams to be all the time.' he thought to himself.
"I deserve it." he said. "It's not like it hurts. I mean come on. You people are wusses. 'Oh my mommy and daddy hit me once and it scared me for life.' and 'When my dad tried to hit me I hit him first'. Well aren't you all special. I've deserved everything I've ever gotten. Don't think that I'm some kind of victim. Cause don't you think that I'm smart enough to realize what you people are doing." he said. The group looked at each other, one thought went through their mind 'BUSTED!'
"Your trying to get me to say 'Oh yea, my parents they hit me all the time. I guess that makes me a victim of physical abuse.' Right? Well let me tell you something, that's just an accuse for people we can take it. It's for kids who are wusses, who can't take a hit. That go crying when ever mommy and daddy lay a finger on them. And that's not me." he said to them.
"I'm outta here. I'm going back to my bunk." he said and walked out before Peter, Sophie or anyone could call him back.
The group sat silently for a minute.
"Well that didn't look like we expected." Scott said.
"Did you really expect it to?" Shelby asked.
The group looked at her.
"He's not going to just come out and say 'Yeah my parents beat the crap out of me.' or anything guys. That's stupid. We just gotta make him admit it some other way, or wait until he's ready to crack." she said smartly. The rest of the group nodded their heads.
GUYS DORM- LATER THAT NIGHT
Scott, Ezra, and Auggie walked into the dorm. They hadn't seen Jordan since group, he had been avoiding them, eating lunch early, leaving classes fast. They had been hoping to see him when they got back in from dinner. But Jordan wasn't there.
"Where do you think he is?" Ezra asked. "I know he didn't run away again that's for sure." Scott said. "No one would be stupid enough to do that again."
"Except you homes." Auggie said and the guys started laughing.
"Wanna play cards till he gets here?" Ezra asked.
The guys had nothing else to do so they went to the lodge to play cards. When they got back Jordan was laying on his bunk with a pillow over his head.
"Yo, Jordan are you okay?" Scott asked as they went over to him.
"Leave me alone." he said to them, muffled by the pillow.
"Come on J, talk to us." Auggie said. "What are you doing?"
"Thinking." Jordan said, taking the pillow off his head, but still laying down.
"About what?" Ezra asked.
"Jamie." Jordan said. "I talked to her today. She e-mailed me and I called her for the first time since I left."
"Oooohhh Jordan talked to a girl." Ezra said jokingly.
"It wasn't like that." Jordan said looking at him with a deadly stare. "She said something to me, and it got me thinking."
"What did she say?" Scott asked nonchalantly.
"None of your business." Jordan said.
"Come on, dish" Ezra said.
"Fine, it's not like it was anything juicy." he said. "She just said that I was a good person."
"That's all?" Auggie asked.
"That's all." Jordan said. "Now leave me alone."
Jordan laid back down and turned away from them, covers over his head..
AND NOW WE TRAVEL INTO TIME TO WEDNESDAY- 3:00-Lodge
Shelby sat on the couch next to the window. Her hands covered with the sleeves of her sweater. She opened the letter she had just got in the mail. It was a reply from Aubrey. He had replied the day he got it. She opened the seal and peaked around to make sure no one, like Scott could see. She didn't want him to know just yet about Aubrey. It wasn't the right time. She pulled the letter carefully out of the envelope.
"Dear Shelby, There are different kinds of love in the world. Love for family, love for friends. Love in marriage. It's possible to love 2 people in different ways equally. For instance You love Scott. I know you do. And you love me. That's what you were talking about in your last letter wasn't it? How you could possibly love us both at the same time. It's because the love is different. You love Scott because he's there for you and you share the same pasts almost. You can confide in him like you can't in me because he won't judge you (not that I would ever do that to you either) because he's been there. I give him all the best of luck, because if he ever breaks your heart I'll kill him . You love him in the way a woman loves her boyfriend or husband. The way that you want to give yourself fully to them and never look at another person again in the same way. You pour as much as you can into the relationship. You might get something back and you might not. But you will never be the same. But us, we're different. I love you and you love me like we can't love anyone else. I've loved you since I can remember. You'll always be a part of me. And I'll always be there in the back of your mind keeping you together. You'll always be the first girl I kissed on the back of the school bus in kindergarten. The girl I watched turn into a beautiful person. You are beautiful Shelby. You'll be the girl I thought I lost but knew I never would forget. You'll be the girl that told me I had to grow up and face Jim Tucker in 6th grade. You'll be the one who crawled through my bedroom window when I was 13 begging for a place to sleep for the night. The one who didn't care what people thought of her, all people except me. You always cared what I thought and I always care what you think of me. The girl I knew I couldn't save when I wanted to so bad. The one I cried and prayed for with my family when she ran away without any answers for me. It reminds me of the movie "My best Friends Wedding" When Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts are in the elevator and Cameron says that Julia will always be in her fiancé's mind. Because they were best friend. How he holds everyone to Julia's image and standards. Shelby. You'll be the one on my pedestal forever. I'll remember and love you forever Shelby. You'll always be my best friend. No matter who comes and goes. Who I date or who you date, whoever I marry or you marry. You'll be there in my mind and in my heart. No one will ever replace what you've given me. As for your other Horizon dilemmas what can I say? I don't know about this Jordan character. You say he called you names, and then apologized? I would have beaten him up. Seams like he's got some major problems Shel. And Scott's teaching you how to play the piano? Wow! I'd always thought you'd take up dancing again or something. I'm glad to hear that Daisy and Ezra are back together again. They sound a lot like you and Scott. And I think you need to give Juliet a chance and stop talking bad about her. If you didn't like it when Jordan did it to you, you shouldn't do it to her. Well That's about it. I love you. Mom's calling me for dinner and I want to mail this letter tomorrow. Bye Beautiful! Love, Aubrey."
Shelby looked at the letter. She smiled a huge smile. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Whatcha reading?" Scott asked her.
"No...Nothing." She said quickly folding up the letter and sticking it in her pocket.
"Well it didn't look like nothing from the look on your face." He said hugging her.
"Come on you two." They heard Peter call. "It's time for group and since it's nice we're having it outside. "
Scott and Shelby made their way outside holding hands.
"Who was the letter from?" Scott asked as they met with the group.
"No one you know." Shelby said as she dropped his hand.
"Don't keep secrets from me Shel, please!" he whispered to her as they sat down on the picnic tables.
"I'll tell you later." she said and that was it.
"Okay guys." Sophie said. "Tomorrow we are having guests come. Jordan's parents are coming for a couple of days."
The group looked at Jordan who had a sour look on his face. "Oh joy." he whispered only for the teens to hear. The group laughed.
"Don't hold back the excitement Jordan. Geez." Daisy said.
"I remember when my mom came." Scott said fondly. "It seams so long ago now."
"Yeah, your mom was cool." Auggie said. "A lot better than your old man."
"Especially when he tried to take you back home." Shelby said squeezing his hand.
"You..." Jordan said gulping. "You almost got sent back home?"
"Yeah, but he stopped at the last minute, after I made a big scene in the restaurant." he said laughing.
"I got sent home." Shelby said bitterly. "Walt, that...that..." she started to say but Sophie shot her a look. "It was hell anyway." She said finally. "I hate him so much. Thank god when I called the cops on him they came. Who knows what I would have done to him. Thank god he was almost dead to so he couldn't do anything to Jess or me." she said.
"You mean I could end up going back to?" Jordan asked, reality was beginning to set in.
"Yes Jordan." Peter said. "That's a strong possibility, we walked about that before remember. Unless you seam to have some reason why you don't want to go home you might have to. We don't take running away very lightly." Peter said.
"Oh yea, I remember." he said solemnly looking at his feet now.
"Do you have a reason you don't want to go home?" Sophie asked softly placing her hand on his shoulder.
Jordan violently shook her hand off his shoulder. He didn't speak for a minute. "Just that it's the school year already and adjusting would be hard again." he said.
'That sounds like a good enough excuse.' Jordan thought to himself and then looked at them. 'To bad they didn't seam to buy it moron.' he thought to himself again.
"Are you sure that's all?" Peter asked.
"Can we just get on with group peter please." Juliet spoke up. She seamed to sense Jordan's tension and wanting him to feel better.
"Okay then. Guys why don't we play a game." Sophie said.
"What do you have in mind?" Auggie asked.
"Football." Scott said. "Please, Football."
The group laughed and Peter and Sophie smiled. "Sure guys what ever you want. You have 1/2 an hour and then we'll talk for a while."
Scott ran and grabbed the ball from Sophie. They were all ready to have fun. Splitting into teams they played until they were exhausted. Then Peter called them back to group.
"Okay guys, you had your fun." Peter said. "Now something serious. Like I said, we have visitors coming tomorrow. And I want all of you on your best behavior." he said smiling, "Get it?"
There was a chorus of 'Yeah's' from the group. Every one agreed, they had before Peter needed to tell them. They wanted to make it easy for Jordan.
"Okay then, groups over guys, That's all we wanted to say." Peter said and the group went their separate ways.
THE BRIDGE
Shelby went to take a walk, mainly for the reason that she couldn't face Scott at the moment. But when she heard footsteps behind her, she knew it was him. But she didn't turn around.
Scott ran after Shelby till he caught up with her arm. "Shelby, what are you hiding from me now?!?" he asked. "I thought we were through keeping secrets from each other.
Shelby turned to glare at him. "Fine Scott, you want to know who it's from?" She asked more angrily than she had expected. "You want to know who the letter was from?"
With no reply from Scott she continued. "It's from a guy back home."
Scott's face crunched up. Another guy, he felt betrayed. 'How could she do this to me?' he thought. "But..." he started to say.
"His name is Aubrey, Scott. I've known him since I was little. I've loved him since then and he cares about me. He's always been there for me, when no one else was. I love him." Shelby said. "But I love you too, it's not the same. That's what I wrote him to ask. If I could love both of you. Because I do..." she said looking at him.
"I'm sorry." He whispered to her, brushing his hand through her hair and hugging her. "I'm sorry."
THE NEXT DAY
The group sat around eating breakfast. Oatmeal and sausage. Scott and Ezra were joking around about the oatmeal saying it was turning into cement. Everyone was laughing, everyone except Jordan.
"Hey, J, you okay?" Auggie asked.
"Huh? What?" Jordan asked looking up at them dazed.
"You are way out of it man." Auggie said. "I asked if you were okay."
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said as Peter came up.
"Jordan, your parents just called. They'll be here in about 2 hours." Peter said squeezing Jordan's shoulder and walking away.
Jordan sighed. 'Great. I can't wait.' He whispered. The group looked at him.
"It's going to be okay Jordan." Juliet said perkily.
"Whatever." Jordan said and walked away.
When he had gone the Group started talking again.
"What do you think is his problem?" Daisy asked.
"The ones who put him here are coming back. He's got to face his demons faster than he wanted to." Shelby said. "It sucks."
"Sure does." Scott agreed.
BY THE LAKE
Jordan sat on a stone overlooking the lake. It was the place he always came when he could sneak out of the dorms, after he had had a nightmare. He sat looking out onto the lake, wondering what was going to happen next. Sure he had been away from them for a while. It wasn't like the first time he was coming back into their clutches. All the times he had come back after foster homes, and relatives. The times he got sent back. But this was different. He had caused this. And he was scared what they would do to him now.
Would they even try to hit him? He didn't know. It's not like he hadn't hid bruises from even the nosiest neighbors and friends and the best doctors and nurses. But could he hide it from THEM? From the guys, and Shelby and Daisy and Kat? And most importantly could he hide it from Peter and Sophie.
He shuddered at the thought of anyone finding out. Could he handle being taken away and returned again. The beating last time was bad. He'd almost landed in the hospital and should have if they weren't protecting their own butts. And what would Peter and Sophie say 'I told you so.'? Would they rub it in his face. Sure it was his fault that his parents hit him wasn't it? That's what Jordan kept telling himself. But if Peter and Sophie said it would it sound as true, as real? That it was really all his fault.
Looking at his watch Jordan sighed. 45 minutes till meltdown and the minutes were ticking by faster. What would they do? What would they say? How would they act? Would they have that sickeningly sweet act on, the one that made Jordan sick, the one that scared him? Or would they show them what they were really like, the ones that slapped him and punched him and kicked him and swore at him? He put his head in his hands and breathed deeply.
LATER ON
Jordan ran to the Administrations building as fast as he could. It was 11:15. He was 15 minutes late. And knowing Jackson they had been early and he would look even worse. As he ran up to the building his worst fears were true. They were there, Kendra and Jackson, talking with Peter and Sophie.
"Sorry I'm late..." he said gasping for breath both out of having to run there from the lake, and from fear.
"Well HELLO Jordan." His mother said to him.
"Good morning mom, sir." He said to both of them averting his attention to the ground.
Kendra came over to him and hugged him tightly, her nails digging into his back. "We're going to have a nice little chat later." She whispered to him, digging deeper.
"I missed you too mom." Jordan said like a robot, knowing how the script went.
"It's nice to see you again son." Jackson said, shaking his hand, grasping it hard.
Jordan breathed hard on that. "Please, please don't ever call me that." He said barely in a whisper.
Jackson looked ready to strike but then stopped. Jordan hoped Peter and Sophie hadn't noticed.
"Well why don't we all go inside." Sophie said, and they all followed her.
PETERS OFFICE
"Mr. And Mrs. Thomas, as You know Jordan ran away last week." Peter said.
"Yes Mr. Scarbrow, we know, or else we wouldn't be here." Jackson said.
"I know that Mr. Thomas. But I think we need to talk about this from the beginning." Peter said trying to keep his cool since Jordan's parents weren't.
"Has Jordan ever run away before?" Peter asked.
"The stupid kid runs away all the time." Kendra mumbled.
"Now Mrs. Thomas, that is inappropriate." Sophie said. "Jordan is not stupid. He is one of the smartest students at this school. If not the smartest in his group."
"Yeah well you should see him at home." Kendra shot back.
"We've seen his transcripts Mrs. Thomas, and we have no doubt that your son is bright. What ever reason that you brought him here, it wasn't bad enough to shoot down his grades. With an average like his, then or now, he can do anything he wants when he gets older, go to any college he wants." Sophie said to her keeping her cool.
"God you guys." Jordan yelled. "Don't talk about me like I'm not in the freaking room. I am."
"Shut up Jordan. We aren't talking to you right now. Sit down." Jackson ordered, and Jordan obeyed immediately.
"Yes sir." He said submissively.
"We're sorry Jordan." Sophie said. "We didn't mean to."
Jordan didn't say anything.
"Anyway, as you were saying." Jackson said.
"When a student runs away, especially a student like Jordan, we are faced with a very difficult situation. Whether it would benefit him or her more to go home or to stay at Horizon."
"I see." Jackson said, glaring at Jordan intensely. "And what do you think we should do."
"That is up to you, it's a choice that you 3 will have to make up on your own." Peter said. "Put I think Jordan's doing well here."
"We'll talk it over." Kendra stated plainly, sounding bored.
"Okay then, I guess we can adjourn the meeting for now, and we'll talk to you later on?" Sophie asked.
"That sounds splendid." Kendra said with a fake smile. "Now we need to get our stuff unpacked." She said. "Would it be fine with you two if we take Jordan with us, have a bite to eat or something, talk this over and be back later?"
"Sure that would be fine." Peter said, not noticing the look of dread on Jordan's face, and ignoring the glare of warning from Sophie.
"Come on Jordan lets go." Jackson snapped."
Jordan jumped immediately at the command. "Bye Peter, Bye Sophie." He said and hurriedly followed them out of the room.
IN THE THOMAS' CAR...
Jackson practically threw Jordan into the back seat.
"What were you trying to pull back there." Kendra yelled at him reaching over the seat to smack him as soon as they were away from the school.
Jordan held his cheek, it burned from her touch. "Wha.. What do you mean?" he asked confused.
"Yelling that we were talking around you." Jackson said pulling over to the side of the road. "What you think your actually good enough for someone to care about you? You think you're a big shot cause your smart."
"Daddy cared about me." Jordan shot back unexpectedly, he didn't know why he said it but he regretted it instantly.
"Don't you ever say that name in this car, do you understand." Jackson yelled at him hitting him with the back of his hand across the face, then again.
"Sorry." Jordan said, he tasted sickeningly familiar taste of blood in his mouth, he must have bit his lip. 'As long as you get ice on it it will be okay.' He thought to himself 'They'll never know.'
Jordan shut up then, knowing it would be worse later, if he talked anymore. With them talking about his dad, Matthew, was almost a criminal offence, and he knew when they got to the hotel they'd tell him that again. He spent the rest of the ride there trying to find out a sure fire way to hide the bruises this time.
After about 10 minutes they came to the hotel. Jackson and Kendra made Jordan stay in the car until they got the room key, then they came back and made him take their bags to the room. He silently did.
Going into the room, Jordan was sickened by the smell of musty sheets and cigarette smoke, the smells every cheap hotel has. He just put down the bags as Jackson slammed the door.
"What they hell did you think you were doing?" Jackson screamed at him pushing him into the table across the room.
"I...I don't know." He stuttered.
"I don't know." Kendra whined mocking him. "What kind of answer is that?" she asked pulling his hair dropping him to his knees," Tell me the truth." she yelled.
"They were going to find out." He said barely in a whisper
"What do you mean they were going to find out, what did you say?" Jackson said, Jordan could tell he had taken off his belt cause he heard it snap. Jordan just waited for the first blows to come. He held his breath.
"Answer me." Jackson yelled hitting him once, twice, three times in a row. Jordan gasped at the pain.
"And their going to know for sure now." Jordan said, knowing in an instant he had worded that wrong. They would think he had told.
"WHAT?" His mother asked infuriated. Kicking him, Jordan fell into a heap on the floor."
The belt fell again and again and again. He tried to make the words come out that he wassorry, that it wasn't what he had ment. But the pain. It hurt. Finally there was a cease in the beatings. Jordan knew it was Jackson's arm had gotten tired and he needed to switch the belt to the other one. But it was his chance.
"I didn't tell, I swear I didn't tell." He said crying. "Please believe me, I didn't tell. I wouldn't."
"How do we know?" Kendra said pulling him up by the hair again. "You are stupid." She said and slammed him against the wall.
"I wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't." he said trying, hoping they would believe him.
But it was to now avail and the blows started to come again. Pretty soon Jordan blacked out.
LATER ON IN THE ROOM
Jordan woke up, a feeling of nausea washed up upon him. He saw a bright light and it took a moment to realize where he was. In the same hotel room, with his parents. They were gone, Jordan looked at the digital clock on the counter 6:45. They must have been out for dinner. Without him of course. He had to be back at Horizon by 8:00.
The first thing he noticed when he woke up after the fact that THEY were gone, was his eyes opened all the way, that meant no black eyes, which was a relief, and the fact that his lip was numb and cold, which meant that his parents had cared about themselves enough to care for him for once. His lip wouldn't be swollen, which was one less thing he had to hide.
He painstakingly got up. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom he noticed that his face had no bruises on it. That was a good thing. And his arms were covered. Then he wondered about his back. Wondered what he could do to hide it from the guys, they changed in the same room. Maybe he could change in the bathroom, but even that was risky. And by the way he walked, the pain was still a lot, could Peter and Sophie tell. When he sat down could they tell.
He took off his shirt. And saw in the mirror the all too familiar souvenirs of his mom and step-dads rage. The bruises, and the dried blood from piercing the skin. He shuddered at the masses of bruises all over his back and his sides. Wondering still how he could hide them. As he heard the door slam he quickly put his shirt back on and ran out.
"Get ready, we're leaving now." Kendra yelled. Jordan carefully slipped on his coat, and ran after them. Just wanting to get back to Horizon. He was in the car even before they were.
BACK AT HORIZON
Jordan slipped into the lodge quietly. He was to tell Peter that his parents had to get back to the hotel and go to sleep, that's why they couldn't come. As he entered the group was already there and started.
"Sorry I'm late." Jordan said to them as he sat carefully next to Scott.
"It's okay Jordan." Sophie said cheerfully. "We were just talking about our favorite things."
"Oh." Jordan mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in the chair, he held his arms, suddenly cold.
"are you okay Jordan?" Peter asked looking at him.
"Wha.." Jordan said collecting his thoughts, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little under the weather I guess.'
"Maybe you should go see Anne Marie?" Sophie said.
"No....No I'm fine really. I'm fine." Jordan replied hurriedly and insistently.
The group looked at him. "Okay then guys, why don't we call it a night, and you can all go back to your dorms."
The guys went to their dorms. And Peter and Sophie went to their office
PETER AND SOPHIE'S OFFICE.
"What do you think was wrong with him today?" Sophie asked, speaking of Jordan. "He seamed weird when he came back."
"I don't know Sophie." Peter said.
"Do you think they..." she asked, in a hushed whisper.
"I don't know." Peter said exhausted. "I don't know."
"I wish he would just say something. Any thing." Sophie sighed looking out the window.
LATER ON- NIGHT- BOYS DORM
Scott, Auggie, and Ezra were woken up by screams.
"No, please. I'm sorry, really I'm sorry." Jordan screamed in his sleep, worse than ever before. Moving.
He moaned as if in real pain. Crying.
********DREAM*******
Jordan landed defenseless at the bottom of the stairs. He heard the stomping of feet on the stairs. They were coming for more. He begged them to stop, begged them more and more. But they didn't the blows kept coming and coming and coming.
***********END DREAM*********
"No....daddy." Jordan cried.
The guys looked. He wasn't waking up.
"This isn't right guys. I can't take this. It's wrong" Scott said.
The guys nodded. "This is the worst it's been."
"We need to get Peter and Sophie." Scott said, "NOW!" he couldn't see Jordan like this.
"Who's going?" Ezra asked.
"Scott you go." Auggie said, looking at Jordan. "You're the fastest."
Scott grabbed his shoes and ran out. Pretty soon he came back with Peter and Sophie.
"What's going on here you guys?" Sophie asked running in.
They hear Jordan crying and screaming. They understand.
Peter goes over. "Jordan," he said shaking him, "Jordan wake up."
Jordan jumped up, scared, sweating. Peter put his hand on Jordan's back and Jordan winced in pain. It felt like a knife.
"What? Why are you all here?" he asked scared.
"You were having a nightmare Jordan, screaming in your sleep. What was it about?" Sophie asked rubbing Jordan's back for a moment.
"Oww." Jordan cried. "Stop." He said getting away from their touch. It hurt.
"What's wrong Jordan?" Sophie asked. "Is something wrong with your back?"
"No... Everything's fine." He said getting up, tugging his shirt closer to him.
"Are you sure?" Sophie asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure." He said. "Positive."
"Then show me." Scott said. "If you have nothing to hide show me your back."
Jordan looked at him, for a moment it was just Jordan and the guys. He forgot that Peter and Sophie were in the room. But it only lasted a moment.
"Fine." He said giving in, taking off his shirt for a quick second. He was in a corner with his back towards the wall so it wouldn't matter cause they couldn't see anything.
"Jordan." Scott said, and Jordan knew what he wanted him to do.
"Do I have do?" Jordan said almost whiny. For a moment it was just him and Scott again.
Scott glared at him. Jordan turned around really fast, hoping no one would see his back.
But looking at them again he knew they did. It was Sophie's 'oh my god' whispered that got to him. And he knew. It was the inevitable, he knew it would happen but not as fast or as suddenly as it did.
"What happened." Peter said.
Jordan mumbled something incoherent. Peter looked at him.
"Nothing okay... Nothing happened." Jordan said.
"They did it to you didn't they?" Auggie said, not in a question.
"Yeah, and so what if they did." Jordan yelled out, a cross between anger and pain. "I deserved it." Then he thought to himself 'I did didn't I? I mean I did make them think that I told. And they got angry at me, cause I was bad.'
"What did you do to deserve that Jordan?' Peter asked in disgust
Jordan wanted to run away so bad. To sink into the woodwork. To just disappear.
"See Jordan, there isn't even an answer." Peter said. "Cause you didn't do anything to deserve it."
A tear ran down Jordan's face. He never cried in front of them, In front of the enemy. Tears brought more blows, more pain. But the words sounded so much like Daddy's. Jordan held onto a memory for a moment.
********FLASHBACK*********
5 year old Jordan came crying into Matthew's room. He ran and held on tightly to his daddy. His dad hugged him back tightly.
"Jordan what's wrong?" Matthew asked his son sitting up.
"Mommy..." Jordan said through tears. "Mommy hurt me."
"What did she do Jordan."
"I...I wanted a cookie. And I asked if I could get one, for me and you." Jordan said crying. "And the cookies dropped on the floor. All of..." he said sniffling. "All over. And I was cleaning em up and mommy saw me and she spanked me daddy. Hard, and a lot and it hurt. I said I was sorry daddy. I really did." Jordan said crying,
"Shhh Jordan, you didn't deserve it. You didn't do anything wrong." Matthew said pulling his son closer to him. And thinking with dread. 'If Kendra does this to him now, what will she do to him when I'm...When I'm gone?
**********END FLASHBACK*********
When Jordan came back to reality, Daddy wasn't there. The fear was. The fear was overwhelming. They knew and now his mother and Jackson would really hurt him now.
Jordan slumped down in the wall. How could he have done it. He wanted Daddy, he wanted Jamie, he wanted Hailey Jade, he wanted Dillion. He wanted that comfort. The one that Daddy had given him. The one that He had tried to give Hailey Jade and Dillion at all costs. The one he had always felt with Jamie and her family. But all he felt was the fear. He buried his head in his hands, willing God to take him away. Put him anywhere else. He didn't realize he was crying until he felt a cool, a nice cool, hand on the base of his neck.
"Shhh Jordan, you'll be okay. You'll be safe now." He knew it was Sophie's voice. And though he knew the words weren't true, they had been spoken before and weren't true. He let them trick him, he needed the comfort they gave him, even if it was false comfort. He held onto that fear as Sophie talked. Words he couldn't comprehend at the moment. He felt pain for a moment and then drifted off to sleep.
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the original higher ground member. But I do own all the new ones, Like Jordan, Jamie, and Aubrey and Jill etc...
In this chapter- Okay Trying to condense a little, so Group, Jamie, Letter from Aubrey, and the 'rents visit....
Oh yeah and a note. Jordan says a very controversial statement during the first group session. If it offends any victims of abuse. I am sorry, but you must think of where Jordan is coming from.
Okay guys.. I AM SOOOO SORRY this took so long to write. It was hard, I didn't know what to make happen. I know, I suck with that part... Anyway here you are!
Computer Lab
Jordan looked at the screen. He knew he should call her. He went to the phone that Peter and Sophie had in their office, for the kids. He dialed her number.
"Hello?"
Jordan sighed a sigh of relief that it was Jamie. "Hey." he said trying to sound cheerful.
"Jordan, is that you?" Jamie asked with surprise.
"I'm sorry Jamie." he blurted out. "I'm really really sorry."
"Sorry for what Jordan?" Jamie asked, concerned for her best friend.
There was a pause as Jordan thought for a minute, regretting the call somewhat. Why had he thought that he could tell her.
"I'm sorry I hurt you." he said. "I'm sorry I made you scared, I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I hid things from you, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you stuff, that though I trust you with everything else that I couldn't tell you. I'm sorry...." he said almost on the point of crying as Jamie stopped him.
"What? Why do you have to be sorry?" she asked.
"I got your e-mail I know I hurt you." he said. "I made you sad that you thought I couldn't trust you."
"Jordan don't worry..." she said.
"You can't tell anyone Jamie." Jordan said insistently, "You can't tell anyone what I tell you."
"Jor...." Jamie started but Jordan stopped her.
"No Jamie, Promise me, because if you don't I'll hang up right now." he said seriously.
"Fine," Jamie said, trying to get him to keep talking.
Jordan breathed in deeply. It was scary, he had never told Jamie or anyone else anything that had ever happened in his house, no one. He couldn't think of what to say to her, without looking like the wuss and the jerk he thought that he was.
"How did you know?" Jordan whispered. "How could you know?"
"I know you too well Jordan, I've known you since I was a baby, don't you think that I would know what was wrong." Jamie asked him. "I saw you change. Change right before my eyes. After Matthew..." she said then changed it. "After your dad died, you changed." She said pausing.
"You weren't the same anymore. You weren't the Jordan that I had eaten ice cream with on the forth of July, the Jordan that kissed me in the pear tree, you weren't the one that Had pulled out his baby tooth when I was to afraid to pull out mine." she said laughing.
'Those were the good times,' Jordan thought.
"You just changed." she said sadly.
"I had to." Jordan finally said. "Don't you understand that Jamie, I had to." he said.
"No I don't understand Jordan!" she said almost yelling at him. "If I got it I wouldn't be having this conversation with you." she said.
"Jamie Don't..." he said softly.
"Don't what?" she asked almost angrily.
"Don't yell at me." Jordan said softly, defeated. "I did what I had to do." he said, knowing it sounded pathetic.
"Don't try the mocho thing Jordan, please. It's not you. Tell me the truth." She said. "Please, please Jordan tell me the truth."
He swallowed hard, Jamie could hear it at the end of the phone.
"After daddy died, mom changed." he started. "Even when daddy was sick she was changing. She would hit me and I'd run to daddy and cry." he said. "But when daddy was gone there was no one there."
Jordan waited for Jamie to say something, but when she didn't Jordan continued. "She started to hit me a lot, after the funeral. I was bad, I was a pain. But it hurt, and I tried to be good. But It wasn't enough." he said pausing. "Then she married Jackson. They wanted me to forget about daddy, tried to beat it out of me. I had to, I had to forget to keep from getting hit, I didn't want to get hit Jamie. I wanted mom and Jackson to love me, but I was to bad and they hit me."
He paused for a minute. "And you wonder why I don't go to church." he said almost laughing. "Cause I don't want to get my nose broken again. Is that such a sin." he asked.
The words were like a slap on the face to Jamie.
"Then I had to protect Dillion and Hailey Jade. They meant everything to me Jamie, everything. I would have died for them if it meant they were safe. When the cops came that time to take them away, I almost died. Gram and Pop didn't want me, and I was back here. Without them... Without the only people I had left." he said holding back the tears that were in his eyes, but Jamie could hear the sadness in his voice. "They took daddy and then Dillion and Hailey. And I was bad. All I wanted was the best for them, I didn't want them taken away from me. It wasn't fair."
"It's not fair Jordan." Jamie said almost crying herself.
"And then when your parents started asking questions. Jamie that was so hard. The only people that are supposed to ask questions are cops and doctors. And their so stupid and easy to lie to. I had to lie Jamie, It makes them madder, they'd kill me if they knew I told you or anyone else, they would kill me Jamie, you need to understand that." he said stressing the last sentence.
"When they asked questions I couldn't look at you, I couldn't come back. I didn't want you to know I was bad. To think I was a horrible person, and a Jerk. It's my fault they hit me."
"NO IT'S NOT!" Jamie shouted at him.
"I deserv..." he started.
"NO YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON JORDAN. UNDERSTAND THAT."
"No..." Jordan staggered. "No, no, no. I'm bad. That's what mom and Jackson and everyone say..." he staggered, saying what had been drilled in his head thousands of times.
"Jordan their not everyone...." Jamie said.
Jordan couldn't hear this, it was to bad, to scary. "SHUT UP.... JUST SHUT UP!!!" he yelled "Please."
"No, I'm not going to. It's wrong Jordan. What they did...." Jamie said,
"I shouldn't have told you. You sound like them... You sound like the cops and the doctors and the social workers... You sound like them Jamie. Stop please, I thought you were different... Please, you can't..." he paused. "You can't be like them." he said beggingly. "You need to tell." Jamie said softly.
"I shouldn't have done this." Jordan said. "I shouldn't....I shouldn't...."
"Jordan, are you okay?" Jamie said and then thinking how stupid her question was.
"Do you know how much trouble I'm in Jamie?" he asked seriously.
Jamie knew she didn't need to answer, Jordan would tell her.
"I ran away from here Jamie. Mom and Jackson are coming on Thursday. 4 DAYS! AND I JUST TOLD! They're going to kill me Jamie. And I can't...I really don't want to get hit by them again. It hurt so bad before we left. And then Peter and Sophie their so nosy. Their sticking their noses in everything. And I stole my records Jamie. Get it I STOLE THEM. From Peter and Sophie's office. I am in so deep, I've been so bad Jamie. So bad." he said to her.
"Jordan everything will be o...." Jamie was starting, but Jordan couldn't hear the rest.
"I love you Jamie." he said quickly. "Bye." he said hanging up before she could say anything else. And he prayed that she wouldn't say anything to her parents. And He knew she wouldn't...
********FLASHBACK*********
Jordan sat on the swing in Jamie's back yard. She was swinging next to him. She was sucking on a lollipop. Jordan sat swaying slightly on the swing as Jamie swing far up and back. But as she looked at Jordan's face, traced with sadness she abruptly stopped.
"Jordan what's wrong?" she asked as she stopped swinging.
"Promise you won't tell?" he asked. "Ever?"
"Yes, I promise." she said meaning the words truly.
He swayed for a few more minutes, not saying anything. "Mom and Jackson hurt Hailey Jade and Dillion." he said softly. "That's why they're gone."
"Did they ever..." she began to ask.
"No." he said flatly and insistently. Jamie didn't question him.
"If your parents ask tell them that mom and Jackson couldn't take care of them right now cause money is tight okay?!?!" he said begginly.
"But why?" she asked.
"Just promise okay. The end." he said sticking out his pinkie for a pinkie promise.
"Okay I promise." she said sticking out her pinkie.
***********END FLASHBACK**********
LATER ON IN GROUP
The cliffhangers settled down for group. Jordan sat on the floor, Ezra and Daisy on the loveseat, Scott and Shelby on the chair, and Juliet, Auggie, and Kat on the couch. Peter and Sophie stood up near the fire place.
"So Jordan this is your first group since you ran." Sophie said. "Feels weird doesn't it."
Jordan didn't respond, he just pulled his knees tighter to his chest.
"Okay then." Peter said when Jordan didn't answer. "Lets to a game, Fill in this sentence, Something that bothers me is....." Peter told them. "Jordan you go first."
"Something that bothers me is when people don't mind their own business." he said flatly. "Ezra."
"Something that bothers me is the nasty food that they serve here sometimes." he said as the group laughed. "Juliet."
"Something that bothers me is..." Juliet said thinking, "Is when my mom says I'm not good enough."
"But you are Jules." Auggie said putting his arm around her.
"No interrupting Auggie." Sophie said. "Juliet call on someone."
"Kat."
"Something that bothers me is that I'm so worried about college." she said. "Auggie."
"Good one Kat." Peter said.
"Something that bothers me is when people act prejudice of me because of where I grew up." he said. "Ain't that true homes."
Scott laughed. "So true bro." he said knocking knuckles with Auggie, the group laughed.
"Serious you two." Daisy said making fun of Peter and Sophie, they didn't want Jordan to think something was totally up anyway.
"Okay, Daisy it's your turn then." Auggie said.
"Something that bothers me is when people live behind masks." she said. "Shelby."
"Something that bothers me is when guys think I'm easy cause of my past." she said. "Scott."
"Something that bothers me is when people hurt their kids." Scott said indirectly directing the comment at Jordan.
"What if they deserve it?" he said.
"What???" Scott asked kind of mad, he'd been hurt. Though he thought that was what Jordan's reaction would be it still stung.
"I don't mean like what happened to you, being like sexually molested and raped and all that. But if a parent hits their kid cause their kid was bad or something, and needed to be punished then they deserve it. They deserve all the pain they get. They've just gotta deal with it." he said.
"There are other ways to punish your kids." Auggie said. "I mean some people where I lived hit their kids, some hit their kids a lot." he said then stopped for a minute, "My neighbor Hector, he was a good kid but his parents whacked him all the time, they landed him in the hospital a couple of times before he got taken away for good. He was my friend and I hated going over to his house cause his parents would always hit him and he never did anything." he said the group hushed, they hadn't known that.
"That's tough." Scott said finally.
"My parents never hit me." Daisy. "They came home drunk sure, but they never laid a hand on me, until the time I hit the old man with the 7 iron."
"My mom and dad never laid a finger on me." Scott said. "It was the skank that did."
"They just didn't care." Juliet said not needing to say anymore, her mom rarely even hugged her. Sensing her sadness Auggie placed his hand on her shoulder and lightly squeezed it so she would know he was there.
"My parents spanked me once." Kat said. "When I ran into the street when a car was coming and almost got hit. Then they cried and hugged me."
"Same with mine." Ezra said. "Accept mine was when they found me doing acid in my room. My dad was so mad that I would do that to myself. It was right before he sent me here. I don't think that he ever forgave himself for doing it to me either."
The group looked at Jordan for his reaction.
"What?" he asked. "What, my parents hit me. So what, it's not like they do it all the time. Only when I'm bad." he said.
'Which just seams to be all the time.' he thought to himself.
"I deserve it." he said. "It's not like it hurts. I mean come on. You people are wusses. 'Oh my mommy and daddy hit me once and it scared me for life.' and 'When my dad tried to hit me I hit him first'. Well aren't you all special. I've deserved everything I've ever gotten. Don't think that I'm some kind of victim. Cause don't you think that I'm smart enough to realize what you people are doing." he said. The group looked at each other, one thought went through their mind 'BUSTED!'
"Your trying to get me to say 'Oh yea, my parents they hit me all the time. I guess that makes me a victim of physical abuse.' Right? Well let me tell you something, that's just an accuse for people we can take it. It's for kids who are wusses, who can't take a hit. That go crying when ever mommy and daddy lay a finger on them. And that's not me." he said to them.
"I'm outta here. I'm going back to my bunk." he said and walked out before Peter, Sophie or anyone could call him back.
The group sat silently for a minute.
"Well that didn't look like we expected." Scott said.
"Did you really expect it to?" Shelby asked.
The group looked at her.
"He's not going to just come out and say 'Yeah my parents beat the crap out of me.' or anything guys. That's stupid. We just gotta make him admit it some other way, or wait until he's ready to crack." she said smartly. The rest of the group nodded their heads.
GUYS DORM- LATER THAT NIGHT
Scott, Ezra, and Auggie walked into the dorm. They hadn't seen Jordan since group, he had been avoiding them, eating lunch early, leaving classes fast. They had been hoping to see him when they got back in from dinner. But Jordan wasn't there.
"Where do you think he is?" Ezra asked. "I know he didn't run away again that's for sure." Scott said. "No one would be stupid enough to do that again."
"Except you homes." Auggie said and the guys started laughing.
"Wanna play cards till he gets here?" Ezra asked.
The guys had nothing else to do so they went to the lodge to play cards. When they got back Jordan was laying on his bunk with a pillow over his head.
"Yo, Jordan are you okay?" Scott asked as they went over to him.
"Leave me alone." he said to them, muffled by the pillow.
"Come on J, talk to us." Auggie said. "What are you doing?"
"Thinking." Jordan said, taking the pillow off his head, but still laying down.
"About what?" Ezra asked.
"Jamie." Jordan said. "I talked to her today. She e-mailed me and I called her for the first time since I left."
"Oooohhh Jordan talked to a girl." Ezra said jokingly.
"It wasn't like that." Jordan said looking at him with a deadly stare. "She said something to me, and it got me thinking."
"What did she say?" Scott asked nonchalantly.
"None of your business." Jordan said.
"Come on, dish" Ezra said.
"Fine, it's not like it was anything juicy." he said. "She just said that I was a good person."
"That's all?" Auggie asked.
"That's all." Jordan said. "Now leave me alone."
Jordan laid back down and turned away from them, covers over his head..
AND NOW WE TRAVEL INTO TIME TO WEDNESDAY- 3:00-Lodge
Shelby sat on the couch next to the window. Her hands covered with the sleeves of her sweater. She opened the letter she had just got in the mail. It was a reply from Aubrey. He had replied the day he got it. She opened the seal and peaked around to make sure no one, like Scott could see. She didn't want him to know just yet about Aubrey. It wasn't the right time. She pulled the letter carefully out of the envelope.
"Dear Shelby, There are different kinds of love in the world. Love for family, love for friends. Love in marriage. It's possible to love 2 people in different ways equally. For instance You love Scott. I know you do. And you love me. That's what you were talking about in your last letter wasn't it? How you could possibly love us both at the same time. It's because the love is different. You love Scott because he's there for you and you share the same pasts almost. You can confide in him like you can't in me because he won't judge you (not that I would ever do that to you either) because he's been there. I give him all the best of luck, because if he ever breaks your heart I'll kill him . You love him in the way a woman loves her boyfriend or husband. The way that you want to give yourself fully to them and never look at another person again in the same way. You pour as much as you can into the relationship. You might get something back and you might not. But you will never be the same. But us, we're different. I love you and you love me like we can't love anyone else. I've loved you since I can remember. You'll always be a part of me. And I'll always be there in the back of your mind keeping you together. You'll always be the first girl I kissed on the back of the school bus in kindergarten. The girl I watched turn into a beautiful person. You are beautiful Shelby. You'll be the girl I thought I lost but knew I never would forget. You'll be the girl that told me I had to grow up and face Jim Tucker in 6th grade. You'll be the one who crawled through my bedroom window when I was 13 begging for a place to sleep for the night. The one who didn't care what people thought of her, all people except me. You always cared what I thought and I always care what you think of me. The girl I knew I couldn't save when I wanted to so bad. The one I cried and prayed for with my family when she ran away without any answers for me. It reminds me of the movie "My best Friends Wedding" When Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts are in the elevator and Cameron says that Julia will always be in her fiancé's mind. Because they were best friend. How he holds everyone to Julia's image and standards. Shelby. You'll be the one on my pedestal forever. I'll remember and love you forever Shelby. You'll always be my best friend. No matter who comes and goes. Who I date or who you date, whoever I marry or you marry. You'll be there in my mind and in my heart. No one will ever replace what you've given me. As for your other Horizon dilemmas what can I say? I don't know about this Jordan character. You say he called you names, and then apologized? I would have beaten him up. Seams like he's got some major problems Shel. And Scott's teaching you how to play the piano? Wow! I'd always thought you'd take up dancing again or something. I'm glad to hear that Daisy and Ezra are back together again. They sound a lot like you and Scott. And I think you need to give Juliet a chance and stop talking bad about her. If you didn't like it when Jordan did it to you, you shouldn't do it to her. Well That's about it. I love you. Mom's calling me for dinner and I want to mail this letter tomorrow. Bye Beautiful! Love, Aubrey."
Shelby looked at the letter. She smiled a huge smile. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Whatcha reading?" Scott asked her.
"No...Nothing." She said quickly folding up the letter and sticking it in her pocket.
"Well it didn't look like nothing from the look on your face." He said hugging her.
"Come on you two." They heard Peter call. "It's time for group and since it's nice we're having it outside. "
Scott and Shelby made their way outside holding hands.
"Who was the letter from?" Scott asked as they met with the group.
"No one you know." Shelby said as she dropped his hand.
"Don't keep secrets from me Shel, please!" he whispered to her as they sat down on the picnic tables.
"I'll tell you later." she said and that was it.
"Okay guys." Sophie said. "Tomorrow we are having guests come. Jordan's parents are coming for a couple of days."
The group looked at Jordan who had a sour look on his face. "Oh joy." he whispered only for the teens to hear. The group laughed.
"Don't hold back the excitement Jordan. Geez." Daisy said.
"I remember when my mom came." Scott said fondly. "It seams so long ago now."
"Yeah, your mom was cool." Auggie said. "A lot better than your old man."
"Especially when he tried to take you back home." Shelby said squeezing his hand.
"You..." Jordan said gulping. "You almost got sent back home?"
"Yeah, but he stopped at the last minute, after I made a big scene in the restaurant." he said laughing.
"I got sent home." Shelby said bitterly. "Walt, that...that..." she started to say but Sophie shot her a look. "It was hell anyway." She said finally. "I hate him so much. Thank god when I called the cops on him they came. Who knows what I would have done to him. Thank god he was almost dead to so he couldn't do anything to Jess or me." she said.
"You mean I could end up going back to?" Jordan asked, reality was beginning to set in.
"Yes Jordan." Peter said. "That's a strong possibility, we walked about that before remember. Unless you seam to have some reason why you don't want to go home you might have to. We don't take running away very lightly." Peter said.
"Oh yea, I remember." he said solemnly looking at his feet now.
"Do you have a reason you don't want to go home?" Sophie asked softly placing her hand on his shoulder.
Jordan violently shook her hand off his shoulder. He didn't speak for a minute. "Just that it's the school year already and adjusting would be hard again." he said.
'That sounds like a good enough excuse.' Jordan thought to himself and then looked at them. 'To bad they didn't seam to buy it moron.' he thought to himself again.
"Are you sure that's all?" Peter asked.
"Can we just get on with group peter please." Juliet spoke up. She seamed to sense Jordan's tension and wanting him to feel better.
"Okay then. Guys why don't we play a game." Sophie said.
"What do you have in mind?" Auggie asked.
"Football." Scott said. "Please, Football."
The group laughed and Peter and Sophie smiled. "Sure guys what ever you want. You have 1/2 an hour and then we'll talk for a while."
Scott ran and grabbed the ball from Sophie. They were all ready to have fun. Splitting into teams they played until they were exhausted. Then Peter called them back to group.
"Okay guys, you had your fun." Peter said. "Now something serious. Like I said, we have visitors coming tomorrow. And I want all of you on your best behavior." he said smiling, "Get it?"
There was a chorus of 'Yeah's' from the group. Every one agreed, they had before Peter needed to tell them. They wanted to make it easy for Jordan.
"Okay then, groups over guys, That's all we wanted to say." Peter said and the group went their separate ways.
THE BRIDGE
Shelby went to take a walk, mainly for the reason that she couldn't face Scott at the moment. But when she heard footsteps behind her, she knew it was him. But she didn't turn around.
Scott ran after Shelby till he caught up with her arm. "Shelby, what are you hiding from me now?!?" he asked. "I thought we were through keeping secrets from each other.
Shelby turned to glare at him. "Fine Scott, you want to know who it's from?" She asked more angrily than she had expected. "You want to know who the letter was from?"
With no reply from Scott she continued. "It's from a guy back home."
Scott's face crunched up. Another guy, he felt betrayed. 'How could she do this to me?' he thought. "But..." he started to say.
"His name is Aubrey, Scott. I've known him since I was little. I've loved him since then and he cares about me. He's always been there for me, when no one else was. I love him." Shelby said. "But I love you too, it's not the same. That's what I wrote him to ask. If I could love both of you. Because I do..." she said looking at him.
"I'm sorry." He whispered to her, brushing his hand through her hair and hugging her. "I'm sorry."
THE NEXT DAY
The group sat around eating breakfast. Oatmeal and sausage. Scott and Ezra were joking around about the oatmeal saying it was turning into cement. Everyone was laughing, everyone except Jordan.
"Hey, J, you okay?" Auggie asked.
"Huh? What?" Jordan asked looking up at them dazed.
"You are way out of it man." Auggie said. "I asked if you were okay."
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said as Peter came up.
"Jordan, your parents just called. They'll be here in about 2 hours." Peter said squeezing Jordan's shoulder and walking away.
Jordan sighed. 'Great. I can't wait.' He whispered. The group looked at him.
"It's going to be okay Jordan." Juliet said perkily.
"Whatever." Jordan said and walked away.
When he had gone the Group started talking again.
"What do you think is his problem?" Daisy asked.
"The ones who put him here are coming back. He's got to face his demons faster than he wanted to." Shelby said. "It sucks."
"Sure does." Scott agreed.
BY THE LAKE
Jordan sat on a stone overlooking the lake. It was the place he always came when he could sneak out of the dorms, after he had had a nightmare. He sat looking out onto the lake, wondering what was going to happen next. Sure he had been away from them for a while. It wasn't like the first time he was coming back into their clutches. All the times he had come back after foster homes, and relatives. The times he got sent back. But this was different. He had caused this. And he was scared what they would do to him now.
Would they even try to hit him? He didn't know. It's not like he hadn't hid bruises from even the nosiest neighbors and friends and the best doctors and nurses. But could he hide it from THEM? From the guys, and Shelby and Daisy and Kat? And most importantly could he hide it from Peter and Sophie.
He shuddered at the thought of anyone finding out. Could he handle being taken away and returned again. The beating last time was bad. He'd almost landed in the hospital and should have if they weren't protecting their own butts. And what would Peter and Sophie say 'I told you so.'? Would they rub it in his face. Sure it was his fault that his parents hit him wasn't it? That's what Jordan kept telling himself. But if Peter and Sophie said it would it sound as true, as real? That it was really all his fault.
Looking at his watch Jordan sighed. 45 minutes till meltdown and the minutes were ticking by faster. What would they do? What would they say? How would they act? Would they have that sickeningly sweet act on, the one that made Jordan sick, the one that scared him? Or would they show them what they were really like, the ones that slapped him and punched him and kicked him and swore at him? He put his head in his hands and breathed deeply.
LATER ON
Jordan ran to the Administrations building as fast as he could. It was 11:15. He was 15 minutes late. And knowing Jackson they had been early and he would look even worse. As he ran up to the building his worst fears were true. They were there, Kendra and Jackson, talking with Peter and Sophie.
"Sorry I'm late..." he said gasping for breath both out of having to run there from the lake, and from fear.
"Well HELLO Jordan." His mother said to him.
"Good morning mom, sir." He said to both of them averting his attention to the ground.
Kendra came over to him and hugged him tightly, her nails digging into his back. "We're going to have a nice little chat later." She whispered to him, digging deeper.
"I missed you too mom." Jordan said like a robot, knowing how the script went.
"It's nice to see you again son." Jackson said, shaking his hand, grasping it hard.
Jordan breathed hard on that. "Please, please don't ever call me that." He said barely in a whisper.
Jackson looked ready to strike but then stopped. Jordan hoped Peter and Sophie hadn't noticed.
"Well why don't we all go inside." Sophie said, and they all followed her.
PETERS OFFICE
"Mr. And Mrs. Thomas, as You know Jordan ran away last week." Peter said.
"Yes Mr. Scarbrow, we know, or else we wouldn't be here." Jackson said.
"I know that Mr. Thomas. But I think we need to talk about this from the beginning." Peter said trying to keep his cool since Jordan's parents weren't.
"Has Jordan ever run away before?" Peter asked.
"The stupid kid runs away all the time." Kendra mumbled.
"Now Mrs. Thomas, that is inappropriate." Sophie said. "Jordan is not stupid. He is one of the smartest students at this school. If not the smartest in his group."
"Yeah well you should see him at home." Kendra shot back.
"We've seen his transcripts Mrs. Thomas, and we have no doubt that your son is bright. What ever reason that you brought him here, it wasn't bad enough to shoot down his grades. With an average like his, then or now, he can do anything he wants when he gets older, go to any college he wants." Sophie said to her keeping her cool.
"God you guys." Jordan yelled. "Don't talk about me like I'm not in the freaking room. I am."
"Shut up Jordan. We aren't talking to you right now. Sit down." Jackson ordered, and Jordan obeyed immediately.
"Yes sir." He said submissively.
"We're sorry Jordan." Sophie said. "We didn't mean to."
Jordan didn't say anything.
"Anyway, as you were saying." Jackson said.
"When a student runs away, especially a student like Jordan, we are faced with a very difficult situation. Whether it would benefit him or her more to go home or to stay at Horizon."
"I see." Jackson said, glaring at Jordan intensely. "And what do you think we should do."
"That is up to you, it's a choice that you 3 will have to make up on your own." Peter said. "Put I think Jordan's doing well here."
"We'll talk it over." Kendra stated plainly, sounding bored.
"Okay then, I guess we can adjourn the meeting for now, and we'll talk to you later on?" Sophie asked.
"That sounds splendid." Kendra said with a fake smile. "Now we need to get our stuff unpacked." She said. "Would it be fine with you two if we take Jordan with us, have a bite to eat or something, talk this over and be back later?"
"Sure that would be fine." Peter said, not noticing the look of dread on Jordan's face, and ignoring the glare of warning from Sophie.
"Come on Jordan lets go." Jackson snapped."
Jordan jumped immediately at the command. "Bye Peter, Bye Sophie." He said and hurriedly followed them out of the room.
IN THE THOMAS' CAR...
Jackson practically threw Jordan into the back seat.
"What were you trying to pull back there." Kendra yelled at him reaching over the seat to smack him as soon as they were away from the school.
Jordan held his cheek, it burned from her touch. "Wha.. What do you mean?" he asked confused.
"Yelling that we were talking around you." Jackson said pulling over to the side of the road. "What you think your actually good enough for someone to care about you? You think you're a big shot cause your smart."
"Daddy cared about me." Jordan shot back unexpectedly, he didn't know why he said it but he regretted it instantly.
"Don't you ever say that name in this car, do you understand." Jackson yelled at him hitting him with the back of his hand across the face, then again.
"Sorry." Jordan said, he tasted sickeningly familiar taste of blood in his mouth, he must have bit his lip. 'As long as you get ice on it it will be okay.' He thought to himself 'They'll never know.'
Jordan shut up then, knowing it would be worse later, if he talked anymore. With them talking about his dad, Matthew, was almost a criminal offence, and he knew when they got to the hotel they'd tell him that again. He spent the rest of the ride there trying to find out a sure fire way to hide the bruises this time.
After about 10 minutes they came to the hotel. Jackson and Kendra made Jordan stay in the car until they got the room key, then they came back and made him take their bags to the room. He silently did.
Going into the room, Jordan was sickened by the smell of musty sheets and cigarette smoke, the smells every cheap hotel has. He just put down the bags as Jackson slammed the door.
"What they hell did you think you were doing?" Jackson screamed at him pushing him into the table across the room.
"I...I don't know." He stuttered.
"I don't know." Kendra whined mocking him. "What kind of answer is that?" she asked pulling his hair dropping him to his knees," Tell me the truth." she yelled.
"They were going to find out." He said barely in a whisper
"What do you mean they were going to find out, what did you say?" Jackson said, Jordan could tell he had taken off his belt cause he heard it snap. Jordan just waited for the first blows to come. He held his breath.
"Answer me." Jackson yelled hitting him once, twice, three times in a row. Jordan gasped at the pain.
"And their going to know for sure now." Jordan said, knowing in an instant he had worded that wrong. They would think he had told.
"WHAT?" His mother asked infuriated. Kicking him, Jordan fell into a heap on the floor."
The belt fell again and again and again. He tried to make the words come out that he wassorry, that it wasn't what he had ment. But the pain. It hurt. Finally there was a cease in the beatings. Jordan knew it was Jackson's arm had gotten tired and he needed to switch the belt to the other one. But it was his chance.
"I didn't tell, I swear I didn't tell." He said crying. "Please believe me, I didn't tell. I wouldn't."
"How do we know?" Kendra said pulling him up by the hair again. "You are stupid." She said and slammed him against the wall.
"I wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't." he said trying, hoping they would believe him.
But it was to now avail and the blows started to come again. Pretty soon Jordan blacked out.
LATER ON IN THE ROOM
Jordan woke up, a feeling of nausea washed up upon him. He saw a bright light and it took a moment to realize where he was. In the same hotel room, with his parents. They were gone, Jordan looked at the digital clock on the counter 6:45. They must have been out for dinner. Without him of course. He had to be back at Horizon by 8:00.
The first thing he noticed when he woke up after the fact that THEY were gone, was his eyes opened all the way, that meant no black eyes, which was a relief, and the fact that his lip was numb and cold, which meant that his parents had cared about themselves enough to care for him for once. His lip wouldn't be swollen, which was one less thing he had to hide.
He painstakingly got up. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom he noticed that his face had no bruises on it. That was a good thing. And his arms were covered. Then he wondered about his back. Wondered what he could do to hide it from the guys, they changed in the same room. Maybe he could change in the bathroom, but even that was risky. And by the way he walked, the pain was still a lot, could Peter and Sophie tell. When he sat down could they tell.
He took off his shirt. And saw in the mirror the all too familiar souvenirs of his mom and step-dads rage. The bruises, and the dried blood from piercing the skin. He shuddered at the masses of bruises all over his back and his sides. Wondering still how he could hide them. As he heard the door slam he quickly put his shirt back on and ran out.
"Get ready, we're leaving now." Kendra yelled. Jordan carefully slipped on his coat, and ran after them. Just wanting to get back to Horizon. He was in the car even before they were.
BACK AT HORIZON
Jordan slipped into the lodge quietly. He was to tell Peter that his parents had to get back to the hotel and go to sleep, that's why they couldn't come. As he entered the group was already there and started.
"Sorry I'm late." Jordan said to them as he sat carefully next to Scott.
"It's okay Jordan." Sophie said cheerfully. "We were just talking about our favorite things."
"Oh." Jordan mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in the chair, he held his arms, suddenly cold.
"are you okay Jordan?" Peter asked looking at him.
"Wha.." Jordan said collecting his thoughts, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little under the weather I guess.'
"Maybe you should go see Anne Marie?" Sophie said.
"No....No I'm fine really. I'm fine." Jordan replied hurriedly and insistently.
The group looked at him. "Okay then guys, why don't we call it a night, and you can all go back to your dorms."
The guys went to their dorms. And Peter and Sophie went to their office
PETER AND SOPHIE'S OFFICE.
"What do you think was wrong with him today?" Sophie asked, speaking of Jordan. "He seamed weird when he came back."
"I don't know Sophie." Peter said.
"Do you think they..." she asked, in a hushed whisper.
"I don't know." Peter said exhausted. "I don't know."
"I wish he would just say something. Any thing." Sophie sighed looking out the window.
LATER ON- NIGHT- BOYS DORM
Scott, Auggie, and Ezra were woken up by screams.
"No, please. I'm sorry, really I'm sorry." Jordan screamed in his sleep, worse than ever before. Moving.
He moaned as if in real pain. Crying.
********DREAM*******
Jordan landed defenseless at the bottom of the stairs. He heard the stomping of feet on the stairs. They were coming for more. He begged them to stop, begged them more and more. But they didn't the blows kept coming and coming and coming.
***********END DREAM*********
"No....daddy." Jordan cried.
The guys looked. He wasn't waking up.
"This isn't right guys. I can't take this. It's wrong" Scott said.
The guys nodded. "This is the worst it's been."
"We need to get Peter and Sophie." Scott said, "NOW!" he couldn't see Jordan like this.
"Who's going?" Ezra asked.
"Scott you go." Auggie said, looking at Jordan. "You're the fastest."
Scott grabbed his shoes and ran out. Pretty soon he came back with Peter and Sophie.
"What's going on here you guys?" Sophie asked running in.
They hear Jordan crying and screaming. They understand.
Peter goes over. "Jordan," he said shaking him, "Jordan wake up."
Jordan jumped up, scared, sweating. Peter put his hand on Jordan's back and Jordan winced in pain. It felt like a knife.
"What? Why are you all here?" he asked scared.
"You were having a nightmare Jordan, screaming in your sleep. What was it about?" Sophie asked rubbing Jordan's back for a moment.
"Oww." Jordan cried. "Stop." He said getting away from their touch. It hurt.
"What's wrong Jordan?" Sophie asked. "Is something wrong with your back?"
"No... Everything's fine." He said getting up, tugging his shirt closer to him.
"Are you sure?" Sophie asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure." He said. "Positive."
"Then show me." Scott said. "If you have nothing to hide show me your back."
Jordan looked at him, for a moment it was just Jordan and the guys. He forgot that Peter and Sophie were in the room. But it only lasted a moment.
"Fine." He said giving in, taking off his shirt for a quick second. He was in a corner with his back towards the wall so it wouldn't matter cause they couldn't see anything.
"Jordan." Scott said, and Jordan knew what he wanted him to do.
"Do I have do?" Jordan said almost whiny. For a moment it was just him and Scott again.
Scott glared at him. Jordan turned around really fast, hoping no one would see his back.
But looking at them again he knew they did. It was Sophie's 'oh my god' whispered that got to him. And he knew. It was the inevitable, he knew it would happen but not as fast or as suddenly as it did.
"What happened." Peter said.
Jordan mumbled something incoherent. Peter looked at him.
"Nothing okay... Nothing happened." Jordan said.
"They did it to you didn't they?" Auggie said, not in a question.
"Yeah, and so what if they did." Jordan yelled out, a cross between anger and pain. "I deserved it." Then he thought to himself 'I did didn't I? I mean I did make them think that I told. And they got angry at me, cause I was bad.'
"What did you do to deserve that Jordan?' Peter asked in disgust
Jordan wanted to run away so bad. To sink into the woodwork. To just disappear.
"See Jordan, there isn't even an answer." Peter said. "Cause you didn't do anything to deserve it."
A tear ran down Jordan's face. He never cried in front of them, In front of the enemy. Tears brought more blows, more pain. But the words sounded so much like Daddy's. Jordan held onto a memory for a moment.
********FLASHBACK*********
5 year old Jordan came crying into Matthew's room. He ran and held on tightly to his daddy. His dad hugged him back tightly.
"Jordan what's wrong?" Matthew asked his son sitting up.
"Mommy..." Jordan said through tears. "Mommy hurt me."
"What did she do Jordan."
"I...I wanted a cookie. And I asked if I could get one, for me and you." Jordan said crying. "And the cookies dropped on the floor. All of..." he said sniffling. "All over. And I was cleaning em up and mommy saw me and she spanked me daddy. Hard, and a lot and it hurt. I said I was sorry daddy. I really did." Jordan said crying,
"Shhh Jordan, you didn't deserve it. You didn't do anything wrong." Matthew said pulling his son closer to him. And thinking with dread. 'If Kendra does this to him now, what will she do to him when I'm...When I'm gone?
**********END FLASHBACK*********
When Jordan came back to reality, Daddy wasn't there. The fear was. The fear was overwhelming. They knew and now his mother and Jackson would really hurt him now.
Jordan slumped down in the wall. How could he have done it. He wanted Daddy, he wanted Jamie, he wanted Hailey Jade, he wanted Dillion. He wanted that comfort. The one that Daddy had given him. The one that He had tried to give Hailey Jade and Dillion at all costs. The one he had always felt with Jamie and her family. But all he felt was the fear. He buried his head in his hands, willing God to take him away. Put him anywhere else. He didn't realize he was crying until he felt a cool, a nice cool, hand on the base of his neck.
"Shhh Jordan, you'll be okay. You'll be safe now." He knew it was Sophie's voice. And though he knew the words weren't true, they had been spoken before and weren't true. He let them trick him, he needed the comfort they gave him, even if it was false comfort. He held onto that fear as Sophie talked. Words he couldn't comprehend at the moment. He felt pain for a moment and then drifted off to sleep.