The Sercret Diary of Manfred Powell
KEEP OUT! that means YOU Pimms!
May 15
First night of the alignment tonight. I think I might sit back with Pimms and eat some popcorn. Caramel popcorn, sounds yummy.
LATER
Caramel popcorn plans are off. Had a bad day. Visited Illuminati, thought I'd pop in for a cup of tea with my buddies, stupid Old Guy had to be there. Ooh, I'm sorry, "Distinguished gentleman." Psh, whatever. Stupid Old Guy always has to act like he is more evil than me. I want that big chair. Hmph. To top it all off, Pimms had to remark on how we weren't ready for the alignment. Stupid Pimms. See if I ever share any caramel popcorn with him.
May 16
News from an old skittish fellow today, diary. Not sure who he is, maybe I gave him a subway ticket somewhere along there, and he got hold of my number. Anyway, some chick found a clock with an eye on it. Think it might be THE clock, but don't know. Meeting this chick tomorrow. Hope she is hot. Hope she is attracted to evil men, but only if she is hot. Pimms stole my mousse this morning, couldn't find it all day, looked like a frizzball. Think I'll kill Pimms tomorrow.
May 17
Today much better. Pimms made up nice cover story about me being a lawyer, as opposed to psycho evil killer. Didn't kill him. On lighter note, chick is REALLY hot. Named Lara. Really suspicious though, wonder if she is evil too? Thinking the clock she has is THE clock. Will send Julius in tonight. Tried to take him to orange Julius today, he just glared at me. Suspect he might be more evil than me. Will soon fix that; planning on killing Pimms in his sleep tonight. Contacted Alex West, said he'd help me get Godly power. Like him, much less evil than me. He knows Lara, hoping they are not bouncy bouncy. Totally will ruin my chances with her.
May 18
Last night, Julius totally got my clock from Lara Croft, that's her last name, Croft. Sounds familiar, maybe I killed someone she is related to. Hope she doesn't find out, that would definitely ruin my chances with her. Asked Julius if she gave trouble, he said she killed half our men. Poopy. Bet she looked hot doing it though. Off to Cambodia tomorrow. By the way, didn't kill Pimms last night. Blonde hair makes him look angelic in his sleep, couldn't hurt him. More evil than Julius anyway, better hair. Maybe will kill Pimms tomorrow, when he is irritating me.
May 19
On plane ride to Cambodia. Dull. Eviller than everyone on plane though. Alex West asleep, earlier was talking about being a "tomb raider" and said Lara Croft was also a "tomb raider." Want Lara Croft to raid my tomb. Didn't say that out loud, in case she and Alex West are bouncy bouncy. He is also blonde; no way blondies contest with my evilness.
May 20
Busy day, very tired. Broke into temple, had some nice smooth evil comment about the belly of the beast. West had to ruin it with some comment about a demon's ass. Pimms looked really scared, but half smiled when Lara showed up. She has nice ass... I mean, accent. Saved me from making bad mistake. Got triangle though, took it away from me. Don't think she likes me very much, think she likes Alex. Wondering whether I should dye my hair blonde. Got a massage and invited Lara to Venice for dinner. We are headed there tomorrow. Hope she wears tight clothing.
May 21
Looked unbelievably evil today in Venice. Must have turned Lara on. She didn't bring the triangle, but did wear tight black clothing. Just had to rub it in about me not sitting in big chair though. Made me so mad, told secret about her father being in Illuminati, and threatened to kill her to even the score. News about her father made her mad, made me feel nice and evil. Didn't care about my threat, acted all cool. Hmph. Still evil. Haven't seen Old Guy in a while, in good mood about that. Tomorrow, we head to Russia. Lara better show, because if she doesn't my evil plan will fail. Probably. At least I have the clock, and she doesn't.
May 22
In serious pain here. Ceiling about to fall down, and very bloody. Lara just kicked my ass. Don't like her much, even if she is hot. Made my evil plan fail, took my pretty pocket watch. Now, can't record what time am dying. Always wanted to watch seconds tick down, can't. Julius deserted me, pretty mean guy. Pimms did too, hanging out with Lara now. Suspicions about Lara and Alex being bouncy bouncy as good as confirmed. Not at all happy; at least got to kill Old Guy and say enough of this twaddle." Worth it. At least in my last moments, I know I'm the evillest. Bye then.
KEEP OUT! that means YOU Pimms!
May 15
First night of the alignment tonight. I think I might sit back with Pimms and eat some popcorn. Caramel popcorn, sounds yummy.
LATER
Caramel popcorn plans are off. Had a bad day. Visited Illuminati, thought I'd pop in for a cup of tea with my buddies, stupid Old Guy had to be there. Ooh, I'm sorry, "Distinguished gentleman." Psh, whatever. Stupid Old Guy always has to act like he is more evil than me. I want that big chair. Hmph. To top it all off, Pimms had to remark on how we weren't ready for the alignment. Stupid Pimms. See if I ever share any caramel popcorn with him.
May 16
News from an old skittish fellow today, diary. Not sure who he is, maybe I gave him a subway ticket somewhere along there, and he got hold of my number. Anyway, some chick found a clock with an eye on it. Think it might be THE clock, but don't know. Meeting this chick tomorrow. Hope she is hot. Hope she is attracted to evil men, but only if she is hot. Pimms stole my mousse this morning, couldn't find it all day, looked like a frizzball. Think I'll kill Pimms tomorrow.
May 17
Today much better. Pimms made up nice cover story about me being a lawyer, as opposed to psycho evil killer. Didn't kill him. On lighter note, chick is REALLY hot. Named Lara. Really suspicious though, wonder if she is evil too? Thinking the clock she has is THE clock. Will send Julius in tonight. Tried to take him to orange Julius today, he just glared at me. Suspect he might be more evil than me. Will soon fix that; planning on killing Pimms in his sleep tonight. Contacted Alex West, said he'd help me get Godly power. Like him, much less evil than me. He knows Lara, hoping they are not bouncy bouncy. Totally will ruin my chances with her.
May 18
Last night, Julius totally got my clock from Lara Croft, that's her last name, Croft. Sounds familiar, maybe I killed someone she is related to. Hope she doesn't find out, that would definitely ruin my chances with her. Asked Julius if she gave trouble, he said she killed half our men. Poopy. Bet she looked hot doing it though. Off to Cambodia tomorrow. By the way, didn't kill Pimms last night. Blonde hair makes him look angelic in his sleep, couldn't hurt him. More evil than Julius anyway, better hair. Maybe will kill Pimms tomorrow, when he is irritating me.
May 19
On plane ride to Cambodia. Dull. Eviller than everyone on plane though. Alex West asleep, earlier was talking about being a "tomb raider" and said Lara Croft was also a "tomb raider." Want Lara Croft to raid my tomb. Didn't say that out loud, in case she and Alex West are bouncy bouncy. He is also blonde; no way blondies contest with my evilness.
May 20
Busy day, very tired. Broke into temple, had some nice smooth evil comment about the belly of the beast. West had to ruin it with some comment about a demon's ass. Pimms looked really scared, but half smiled when Lara showed up. She has nice ass... I mean, accent. Saved me from making bad mistake. Got triangle though, took it away from me. Don't think she likes me very much, think she likes Alex. Wondering whether I should dye my hair blonde. Got a massage and invited Lara to Venice for dinner. We are headed there tomorrow. Hope she wears tight clothing.
May 21
Looked unbelievably evil today in Venice. Must have turned Lara on. She didn't bring the triangle, but did wear tight black clothing. Just had to rub it in about me not sitting in big chair though. Made me so mad, told secret about her father being in Illuminati, and threatened to kill her to even the score. News about her father made her mad, made me feel nice and evil. Didn't care about my threat, acted all cool. Hmph. Still evil. Haven't seen Old Guy in a while, in good mood about that. Tomorrow, we head to Russia. Lara better show, because if she doesn't my evil plan will fail. Probably. At least I have the clock, and she doesn't.
May 22
In serious pain here. Ceiling about to fall down, and very bloody. Lara just kicked my ass. Don't like her much, even if she is hot. Made my evil plan fail, took my pretty pocket watch. Now, can't record what time am dying. Always wanted to watch seconds tick down, can't. Julius deserted me, pretty mean guy. Pimms did too, hanging out with Lara now. Suspicions about Lara and Alex being bouncy bouncy as good as confirmed. Not at all happy; at least got to kill Old Guy and say enough of this twaddle." Worth it. At least in my last moments, I know I'm the evillest. Bye then.