Disclaimer: I don't own any TR characters, and I didn't before this either; I've also just read Cassandra Claire's Very Secret Diaries, and this really isn't meant to be a rip off of those, hers are much funnier anyway. On we go!
The Secret Diary of Hillary
For MY Eyes Only, and Bryce if You Dare Look at this I Swear Your Robots will Meet the Trash Compactor
May 15
Feel very sorry for Lara today. She didn't want me to trim the hedge because she needed quiet. Honestly, that hedge is going to look like a hurricane hit it tomorrow. It always does. Anyway, Lara very sad remembering her father. Suddenly seemed to feel better when she mauled Bryce's big robot- tried not to smirk at Bryce too too much. Tried to get Lara to wear the dress today. Laughed at me. Where did I go wrong with this girl? Plan to sneak up behind her tomorrow amd force it on. Not really my style, but nothing else seems to be working.
May 16
Lara found a clock last night. Smacked it with a hammer. Not my area- I just made the coffee. Apparently Lara wants to visit Mr. Wilson. Good thought, find a clock expert to find out about a clock. Took her bike, will have to force dress on her tomorrow. Buttled today. Buttled alot. Bryce fixed his robot with a few angry glares towards me. Suspect he wants me to do something for him. Scared by Bryce's glares, go to double trim Hurricane Hedge. Took a nap. Lara cooked dinner for herself tonight- burned something in a microwave. Broke the microwave. Why you have butlers, I guess.
May 17
Lara went to see someone else today. Told her to wear the dress. Going to start capitalizing that. Anyway, she said no. Told her to be careful crossing the street, and not to get raped. I think she glared, but am not sure, because she was wearing sunglasses. Buttled a lot today. House no fun when Lara is not around. Trimmed hedge. Ironed The Dress. Don't know why I go to trouble of doing all this. Guess it is what butlers do.
May 18
Last night not good- bad guys invaded house. Lara beat on a lot of them, soon as I heard breaking glass, put on my slippers and pulled out my shotgun. Don't use my shotgun much; used to on wolverines but decided that was a bit extravagant. Got a few guys, they still got Lara's clock. Very sad... then got very scared as Lara almost killed me. Changed plan about sneaking up behind her and putting on dress- too dangerous and not really very nice anyway. Had to buttle a lot thisafternoon. (A/n: That is one word!!!)
May 19
Lara went to Cambodia today. Why do all my entries start with "Lara?" Not like she's the only interesting thing around here. Bryce was dull dull dull today. Tried to get him to play Yatzee with me, but decided I should leave him alone with his robots. Later saw him reading a book. Very proud of him, being literate like that. Trimmed Hurricane Hedge. Buttled. Maybe Lara is the only interesting thing around here. Ho hum. All for now
May 20
Can't believe it; Lara is taking Bryce to Venice with her!! Now am all alone! Wanted to smash Bryce's robots when he left, but am a nice butler. Trimmed the hedge a lot today, hedge very very short now. Ironed The Dress twice. The Dress getting over-ironed. Decided to read some Blake outside and have some ice cream. Maybe house is not all bad without Bryce. Before he left, told him not to swim in the water of Venice. Glared at me. I laughed.
May 23
Sorry, the 21 and 22 were so much like the 20, didn't have much to write about. Was very nice, in fact, but missed Bryce and Lara. They came back today- get this, LARA WORE THE DRESS! Couldn't believe it, dropped some silverware. Later, Bryce took picture of her in The Dress, priceless photo that'll be. So glad they are back... had lots of fun watching Lara beat up Simon in The Dress. Bryce shared some caramel popcorn with me- don't know where that came from. Good though...
The Secret Diary of Hillary
For MY Eyes Only, and Bryce if You Dare Look at this I Swear Your Robots will Meet the Trash Compactor
May 15
Feel very sorry for Lara today. She didn't want me to trim the hedge because she needed quiet. Honestly, that hedge is going to look like a hurricane hit it tomorrow. It always does. Anyway, Lara very sad remembering her father. Suddenly seemed to feel better when she mauled Bryce's big robot- tried not to smirk at Bryce too too much. Tried to get Lara to wear the dress today. Laughed at me. Where did I go wrong with this girl? Plan to sneak up behind her tomorrow amd force it on. Not really my style, but nothing else seems to be working.
May 16
Lara found a clock last night. Smacked it with a hammer. Not my area- I just made the coffee. Apparently Lara wants to visit Mr. Wilson. Good thought, find a clock expert to find out about a clock. Took her bike, will have to force dress on her tomorrow. Buttled today. Buttled alot. Bryce fixed his robot with a few angry glares towards me. Suspect he wants me to do something for him. Scared by Bryce's glares, go to double trim Hurricane Hedge. Took a nap. Lara cooked dinner for herself tonight- burned something in a microwave. Broke the microwave. Why you have butlers, I guess.
May 17
Lara went to see someone else today. Told her to wear the dress. Going to start capitalizing that. Anyway, she said no. Told her to be careful crossing the street, and not to get raped. I think she glared, but am not sure, because she was wearing sunglasses. Buttled a lot today. House no fun when Lara is not around. Trimmed hedge. Ironed The Dress. Don't know why I go to trouble of doing all this. Guess it is what butlers do.
May 18
Last night not good- bad guys invaded house. Lara beat on a lot of them, soon as I heard breaking glass, put on my slippers and pulled out my shotgun. Don't use my shotgun much; used to on wolverines but decided that was a bit extravagant. Got a few guys, they still got Lara's clock. Very sad... then got very scared as Lara almost killed me. Changed plan about sneaking up behind her and putting on dress- too dangerous and not really very nice anyway. Had to buttle a lot thisafternoon. (A/n: That is one word!!!)
May 19
Lara went to Cambodia today. Why do all my entries start with "Lara?" Not like she's the only interesting thing around here. Bryce was dull dull dull today. Tried to get him to play Yatzee with me, but decided I should leave him alone with his robots. Later saw him reading a book. Very proud of him, being literate like that. Trimmed Hurricane Hedge. Buttled. Maybe Lara is the only interesting thing around here. Ho hum. All for now
May 20
Can't believe it; Lara is taking Bryce to Venice with her!! Now am all alone! Wanted to smash Bryce's robots when he left, but am a nice butler. Trimmed the hedge a lot today, hedge very very short now. Ironed The Dress twice. The Dress getting over-ironed. Decided to read some Blake outside and have some ice cream. Maybe house is not all bad without Bryce. Before he left, told him not to swim in the water of Venice. Glared at me. I laughed.
May 23
Sorry, the 21 and 22 were so much like the 20, didn't have much to write about. Was very nice, in fact, but missed Bryce and Lara. They came back today- get this, LARA WORE THE DRESS! Couldn't believe it, dropped some silverware. Later, Bryce took picture of her in The Dress, priceless photo that'll be. So glad they are back... had lots of fun watching Lara beat up Simon in The Dress. Bryce shared some caramel popcorn with me- don't know where that came from. Good though...