Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone.
A/n: please r/r
Chapter 15 – My two mums
Several weeks had passed since the scene in Claire's back garden. It had troubled Leila greatly that her two parents were still going about their daily business and not trying to sort out the differences between them, she had always believed that 'love conquered all', but with Claire and John she wasn't so sure. Daily, she watched Claire torture herself over what she had done, what she hadn't done and what she should have done. She spent as much time with her father as she could before she went off to college and she noticed with him too that he was troubled with the past.
"Why can't these two just pick themselves up, brush themselves off, forgive and forget and fall in love with one another again" she had said to Brian two nights before she was due to leave for college.
"I don't know" she'd heard Brian answer, "Andy, Allison and I all think exactly that, but you can't help people that don't want any help, can you?"
"No, I suppose not" she had replied. And now she was on her way to college feeling alone, knowing that the two people she cared about most in the world were alone as well. 'I only hope they can reconcile on their own' she thought.
***
It was Saturday, one of Claire's favourite days. The spring was gradually turning into summer, and this was usually the time of year that she spent mostly in her garden. And she had told Leila exactly that when she had called her the previous evening. But she had other plans today, today she was going to be spending time with two people she hadn't seen in a long time, her first steps on the road to recovery she had told herself. She felt bad telling another lie to Leila, but then Leila worried about her unnecessarily really, she was only a kid after all and she didn't need to carry both hers and her mothers problems around on her shoulders.
It wasn't long before Claire had reached Shermer and her mother's house. The family house, the one where she and her brother had been brought up and now the one that her mother owned due to the fact that Claire's dad had eventually walked out on her mother when things had got too bad. Parking up, she pulled herself out of her car and stood looking at the front door, she was in two minds what to do – whether to see her mum or to run away, 'I'm not running anymore' she eventually concluded. She made her way to the front; through the flower borders and rose covered fences and pushed the bell. Before long the door was opened and her mum stood before her. 'Here goes nothing' she thought.
"What are you doing here?" her mother said.
"Something I should have done along time ago, I'm making amends, mum."
"And why on earth would you want to do that?"
"Because you need to know I love you" Claire replied, "and you need to know about my life. You need to know that I have a daughter and that I love her father very much."
"I think then, that you had better come in." Her mother walked into the house, nothing had changed, and it was like Claire had stepped into a time warp. "Sit down in the living room Claire, I'll bring us some tea."
Once Claire had finally got her mother to sit down and listen they had spoken for over two hours, telling each other what had happened to them both and discussing what they wanted to do in the future, their experiences, their loves, everything. It was strange, in that short time Claire, and she had thought, her mother, had found each other and realised that neither could no longer live without the other. They had warmed to each other; they were mother and daughter again.
"So, when do I get to see my grand-daughter?"
"When she comes home from college, I guess unless, I can sort something out before then."
"What do you mean?"
"Mum, there is only one thing left to tell you, I didn't tell you before because I thought it might stop you and me reconciling."
"So what is it? I'm not such an old dragon that I'm not interested in what you have to say you know, especially if its about Leila's dad."
"Leila's dad."
"You said at the very beginning of our meeting that you loved him, you have neglected to tell me anything more about him, so what gives?"
"Leila's dad is … is … John Bender, mum."
"The criminal huh! Now I know why you didn't tell me straight off. And you love him?"
Claire merely nodded and then said, "he's not a criminal, mum, he's a reporter, has his own column now, at the 'Sun Times'."
"So what's your problem?"
"I lied to him, he doesn't trust me," she said, tears in her eyes. "He only found out about Leila five weeks ago. A week later he wanted to marry me, but he found a letter I had written to him sixteen years ago when I left him." She handed the letter to her mum.
"I take it that you didn't give this to him, then. What did you give as an explanation?"
"When I left all those years ago I wrote another note, it said, "I'm sorry"."
"That's it?"
"Yes. I didn't say anything, mum; I messed up again. In truth I didn't know what to say or do – I felt like I was dying."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm not sure but I was kind of hoping I could enlist your help? Along with John's mum."
"Really, you must have something in mind?"
"All I know is, I need to get my family together, my whole family, including John and his mother – life is just too short to let it pass by idlely. We can't carry on like this anymore. And anyway, I need to put my heart on the line. Whatever I do I have to lay myself open to everything and hope that John can find it in himself to forgive me. In my own way I guess trying to reconcile him and his mum might go part way to regaining his trust and love."
"You have my help, my darling. Lets go see if we can enlist John's mother as well."
***
Making their way through the streets of Shermer, they found the address that John had resided at through most of his adolescent life that was until he and Claire had moved in together. Finally, reaching the house Claire parked up and looked over to the front.
"Looks like there's someone home" her mum said.
"Yes" Claire stated.
"Honey, are you okay?"
"Yes, its just that it looks different, its had a lick of paint and the yard has been tidied up. Maybe his mum doesn't live here anymore."
"Maybe not, but we're not going to find out by sitting here, are we?"
"No, I suppose not" Claire said looking over to her mum. They proceeded to remove themselves from the car and began to walk up to the porch way. Once they had reached the front of the house Claire rang the bell, as she had done previously at her mum's place. A gentleman that Claire didn't recognise answered the door. He was in his late to mid fifties and was smartly dressed. "Yes, can I help you?"
"I'm not sure," Claire began, "I may have the wrong house, I'm looking for an Alicia Bender?"
"Your at the right house," he smiled kindly, "But she is now known as Alicia Richardson, she is my wife."
"Oh, right. You seem like a very nice gentleman, I hope she is happy now."
"Yes, she seems to be happier. Her first husband abused her very badly, but I guess you knew that. Are you here to see her?"
"If it is at all possible, yes please."
"Come in, off the porch, come on," he motioned, "you are?"
"I'm Claire Standish, and this is my mum Rebecca."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Stanley, now let me go find out if she will see you."
Stanley left them to look around the hall as he moved through the house to the back, to where the sitting room had always been. Claire noticed that the décor was different, brighter, and more cheery, in fact the whole house seemed friendlier.
Stanley made his way back, "Claire would you like to go through, I'll make some tea and bring it in for you both" turning to her mother he added, "would you like to join me in the kitchen."
Claire made her way through the hallway to the back, passing pictures and mementos along the way. John's mother had never been big on keeping nostalgia, or perhaps, it had been his dad, it did seem unusual. Perhaps the death of John's father had lifted a veil of the now Richardson household and Alicia had found her compassion again.
"Come in, my dear," Alicia said as she saw a figure near the doorway, "I knew in my heart that I would see you again."
"You remember me?"
"Of course, I would never forget the love of my son's life. How are you, Claire?"
"I'm fine, and you?" she said moving into the room.
"Well, I'm a little deaf in my right ear and I don't see so good with my left eye, but I have a good man to look after me. Claire, please come closer," she said as she motioned for Claire to take a seat in front of her. Claire did as she was bid and the older woman moved closer to her face. Taking Claire's chin in her hand she asked "What is it, my child? What has my Johnny done to you?" half expecting Claire to show her a bruise or broken rib.
"Nothing, he's never ever raised a hand to me if that's what you mean. No the only thing he's done is tell me of his undying love for me, offer to make me his wife and then walk out on me."
"And what exactly did you do to deserve that?" Alicia asked, astutely.
Claire proceeded to pour her heart out, tears splashing down over her face and over Alicia's knee where Claire was now resting her head. Alicia was so caring, it was a side of her that Claire had never seen and was sure John hadn't either, but Alicia said the right things at the right times and remarked at how beautiful Leila was when she saw her picture. They had chatted for what seemed to be forever, tea and biscuits being brought to them by Stan as and when he felt like they needed them.
"So what do you need from me, Claire?" Alicia finally asked.
"Well I was kind of hoping that if I could get you and John to see one another and bridge the gap between your differences, then maybe you could help to reunite us. God, that sounds so selfish. I'm sorry."
"Love is a very interesting emotion isn't it, it may sound selfish Claire but you have good reason. You love my son and I know my son loves you. I have spent many nights sitting here watching the lawn, wondering where my son is and what he is doing. I'm so very sorry for things I said to him when he was growing up but I thought that his dad was the be all and end all. Obviously, I now know what it is to have true love, I acted the way I did back then because I thought what I had then was love, but I was so very wrong. Losing John's dad was a bitter blow, it hurt like hell and when I first met Stanley I wasn't sure what was going on. There was such a contrast between the two, and then I thought that eventually Stanley would go the same way and I shied away from marrying him for many years, only to find that there is no truer man. I sometimes wish that I had met Stanley when I was eighteen; at least John would have been brought up better, although Stan can't have any children so we would never have had him, which I would regret. I am just so glad that you have come here today."
"Why?"
"Because it now means that I have the opportunity to meet my son again and start afresh, thank you. And I, in turn, will do whatever I can to help you too."
"Thank you."
Claire and her mother stayed a little while longer chatting to Alicia and Stanley, and it was good. She felt like everything was slowly beginning to come together. Dropping her mother back to her house, Rebecca said, "So how do you feel? Now that you have spoken to Alicia."
"Like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
"Good, I'm glad you came over today and I shall be happier still when I see this family reunited."
"Yes, mum, I only hope its soon" Claire replied thinking 'I don't think I can wait much longer, myself.'
They said there goodbyes and Claire was on her way home. 'A very productive day' she thought.
A/n: please r/r
Chapter 15 – My two mums
Several weeks had passed since the scene in Claire's back garden. It had troubled Leila greatly that her two parents were still going about their daily business and not trying to sort out the differences between them, she had always believed that 'love conquered all', but with Claire and John she wasn't so sure. Daily, she watched Claire torture herself over what she had done, what she hadn't done and what she should have done. She spent as much time with her father as she could before she went off to college and she noticed with him too that he was troubled with the past.
"Why can't these two just pick themselves up, brush themselves off, forgive and forget and fall in love with one another again" she had said to Brian two nights before she was due to leave for college.
"I don't know" she'd heard Brian answer, "Andy, Allison and I all think exactly that, but you can't help people that don't want any help, can you?"
"No, I suppose not" she had replied. And now she was on her way to college feeling alone, knowing that the two people she cared about most in the world were alone as well. 'I only hope they can reconcile on their own' she thought.
***
It was Saturday, one of Claire's favourite days. The spring was gradually turning into summer, and this was usually the time of year that she spent mostly in her garden. And she had told Leila exactly that when she had called her the previous evening. But she had other plans today, today she was going to be spending time with two people she hadn't seen in a long time, her first steps on the road to recovery she had told herself. She felt bad telling another lie to Leila, but then Leila worried about her unnecessarily really, she was only a kid after all and she didn't need to carry both hers and her mothers problems around on her shoulders.
It wasn't long before Claire had reached Shermer and her mother's house. The family house, the one where she and her brother had been brought up and now the one that her mother owned due to the fact that Claire's dad had eventually walked out on her mother when things had got too bad. Parking up, she pulled herself out of her car and stood looking at the front door, she was in two minds what to do – whether to see her mum or to run away, 'I'm not running anymore' she eventually concluded. She made her way to the front; through the flower borders and rose covered fences and pushed the bell. Before long the door was opened and her mum stood before her. 'Here goes nothing' she thought.
"What are you doing here?" her mother said.
"Something I should have done along time ago, I'm making amends, mum."
"And why on earth would you want to do that?"
"Because you need to know I love you" Claire replied, "and you need to know about my life. You need to know that I have a daughter and that I love her father very much."
"I think then, that you had better come in." Her mother walked into the house, nothing had changed, and it was like Claire had stepped into a time warp. "Sit down in the living room Claire, I'll bring us some tea."
Once Claire had finally got her mother to sit down and listen they had spoken for over two hours, telling each other what had happened to them both and discussing what they wanted to do in the future, their experiences, their loves, everything. It was strange, in that short time Claire, and she had thought, her mother, had found each other and realised that neither could no longer live without the other. They had warmed to each other; they were mother and daughter again.
"So, when do I get to see my grand-daughter?"
"When she comes home from college, I guess unless, I can sort something out before then."
"What do you mean?"
"Mum, there is only one thing left to tell you, I didn't tell you before because I thought it might stop you and me reconciling."
"So what is it? I'm not such an old dragon that I'm not interested in what you have to say you know, especially if its about Leila's dad."
"Leila's dad."
"You said at the very beginning of our meeting that you loved him, you have neglected to tell me anything more about him, so what gives?"
"Leila's dad is … is … John Bender, mum."
"The criminal huh! Now I know why you didn't tell me straight off. And you love him?"
Claire merely nodded and then said, "he's not a criminal, mum, he's a reporter, has his own column now, at the 'Sun Times'."
"So what's your problem?"
"I lied to him, he doesn't trust me," she said, tears in her eyes. "He only found out about Leila five weeks ago. A week later he wanted to marry me, but he found a letter I had written to him sixteen years ago when I left him." She handed the letter to her mum.
"I take it that you didn't give this to him, then. What did you give as an explanation?"
"When I left all those years ago I wrote another note, it said, "I'm sorry"."
"That's it?"
"Yes. I didn't say anything, mum; I messed up again. In truth I didn't know what to say or do – I felt like I was dying."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm not sure but I was kind of hoping I could enlist your help? Along with John's mum."
"Really, you must have something in mind?"
"All I know is, I need to get my family together, my whole family, including John and his mother – life is just too short to let it pass by idlely. We can't carry on like this anymore. And anyway, I need to put my heart on the line. Whatever I do I have to lay myself open to everything and hope that John can find it in himself to forgive me. In my own way I guess trying to reconcile him and his mum might go part way to regaining his trust and love."
"You have my help, my darling. Lets go see if we can enlist John's mother as well."
***
Making their way through the streets of Shermer, they found the address that John had resided at through most of his adolescent life that was until he and Claire had moved in together. Finally, reaching the house Claire parked up and looked over to the front.
"Looks like there's someone home" her mum said.
"Yes" Claire stated.
"Honey, are you okay?"
"Yes, its just that it looks different, its had a lick of paint and the yard has been tidied up. Maybe his mum doesn't live here anymore."
"Maybe not, but we're not going to find out by sitting here, are we?"
"No, I suppose not" Claire said looking over to her mum. They proceeded to remove themselves from the car and began to walk up to the porch way. Once they had reached the front of the house Claire rang the bell, as she had done previously at her mum's place. A gentleman that Claire didn't recognise answered the door. He was in his late to mid fifties and was smartly dressed. "Yes, can I help you?"
"I'm not sure," Claire began, "I may have the wrong house, I'm looking for an Alicia Bender?"
"Your at the right house," he smiled kindly, "But she is now known as Alicia Richardson, she is my wife."
"Oh, right. You seem like a very nice gentleman, I hope she is happy now."
"Yes, she seems to be happier. Her first husband abused her very badly, but I guess you knew that. Are you here to see her?"
"If it is at all possible, yes please."
"Come in, off the porch, come on," he motioned, "you are?"
"I'm Claire Standish, and this is my mum Rebecca."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Stanley, now let me go find out if she will see you."
Stanley left them to look around the hall as he moved through the house to the back, to where the sitting room had always been. Claire noticed that the décor was different, brighter, and more cheery, in fact the whole house seemed friendlier.
Stanley made his way back, "Claire would you like to go through, I'll make some tea and bring it in for you both" turning to her mother he added, "would you like to join me in the kitchen."
Claire made her way through the hallway to the back, passing pictures and mementos along the way. John's mother had never been big on keeping nostalgia, or perhaps, it had been his dad, it did seem unusual. Perhaps the death of John's father had lifted a veil of the now Richardson household and Alicia had found her compassion again.
"Come in, my dear," Alicia said as she saw a figure near the doorway, "I knew in my heart that I would see you again."
"You remember me?"
"Of course, I would never forget the love of my son's life. How are you, Claire?"
"I'm fine, and you?" she said moving into the room.
"Well, I'm a little deaf in my right ear and I don't see so good with my left eye, but I have a good man to look after me. Claire, please come closer," she said as she motioned for Claire to take a seat in front of her. Claire did as she was bid and the older woman moved closer to her face. Taking Claire's chin in her hand she asked "What is it, my child? What has my Johnny done to you?" half expecting Claire to show her a bruise or broken rib.
"Nothing, he's never ever raised a hand to me if that's what you mean. No the only thing he's done is tell me of his undying love for me, offer to make me his wife and then walk out on me."
"And what exactly did you do to deserve that?" Alicia asked, astutely.
Claire proceeded to pour her heart out, tears splashing down over her face and over Alicia's knee where Claire was now resting her head. Alicia was so caring, it was a side of her that Claire had never seen and was sure John hadn't either, but Alicia said the right things at the right times and remarked at how beautiful Leila was when she saw her picture. They had chatted for what seemed to be forever, tea and biscuits being brought to them by Stan as and when he felt like they needed them.
"So what do you need from me, Claire?" Alicia finally asked.
"Well I was kind of hoping that if I could get you and John to see one another and bridge the gap between your differences, then maybe you could help to reunite us. God, that sounds so selfish. I'm sorry."
"Love is a very interesting emotion isn't it, it may sound selfish Claire but you have good reason. You love my son and I know my son loves you. I have spent many nights sitting here watching the lawn, wondering where my son is and what he is doing. I'm so very sorry for things I said to him when he was growing up but I thought that his dad was the be all and end all. Obviously, I now know what it is to have true love, I acted the way I did back then because I thought what I had then was love, but I was so very wrong. Losing John's dad was a bitter blow, it hurt like hell and when I first met Stanley I wasn't sure what was going on. There was such a contrast between the two, and then I thought that eventually Stanley would go the same way and I shied away from marrying him for many years, only to find that there is no truer man. I sometimes wish that I had met Stanley when I was eighteen; at least John would have been brought up better, although Stan can't have any children so we would never have had him, which I would regret. I am just so glad that you have come here today."
"Why?"
"Because it now means that I have the opportunity to meet my son again and start afresh, thank you. And I, in turn, will do whatever I can to help you too."
"Thank you."
Claire and her mother stayed a little while longer chatting to Alicia and Stanley, and it was good. She felt like everything was slowly beginning to come together. Dropping her mother back to her house, Rebecca said, "So how do you feel? Now that you have spoken to Alicia."
"Like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
"Good, I'm glad you came over today and I shall be happier still when I see this family reunited."
"Yes, mum, I only hope its soon" Claire replied thinking 'I don't think I can wait much longer, myself.'
They said there goodbyes and Claire was on her way home. 'A very productive day' she thought.