Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone.
A/n: please r/r
Chapter 16 – Mother & Son
John Bender strode into the offices to be greeted by his boss, "John, you know this Allison Clarke woman, don't you?"
"Yeah, sure, I was at school with her. What's she up to?"
"She and her partner are having an exhibition and I want you to get down there to check it out. Okay?"
"Yeah … Okay," he said, unsure whether he wanted to go or not. 'Guess I gotta get another "failed start, again" meeting with Claire over and done with,' he thought.
"Oh and by the way," his boss said with his back towards him and walking back to his office "there's a woman waiting for you in the conference room."
'A woman,' his mind continued, 'maybe my luck is changing.'
He strode over to his desk first and quickly scanned through the messages that had been left there by his assistant, nothing that couldn't wait. Making his way back across the landing to where the conference room was situated. He wasn't quite ready for the shock that hit him when he opened the door and walked into the room. There before him was a grey haired woman in her mid fifties looking at the framed articles positioned around the walls. She was reading the only one in the room that was his, and she seemed to be far away as if she hadn't heard him enter the room.
"Mum?" he heard himself say.
She started, but slowly turned to face him. He had scared her unintentionally. "Yes, John," she replied, "it's me. I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in I'm a little deaf, your father …"
"No, don't even go there, don't excuse him for what he did to you or me. What are you doing here? To be honest … I never thought I would see you again."
"Nor did I, and I wasn't defending your father. When he died and I began to live I realised I hated him, and when I … well I realised he didn't love me, how could he hitting on me like he did. And you. I feel so guilty that I got you involved with him, I should have followed your grandparents advice and left him long ago … but I loved him, I thought I did, I know now I was scared of him. I needed to come and find you, to let you know."
"So why then, has it taken you so long to come find me?"
"I honestly didn't know where you were and I regret the day I turned my back on you, ever since then I have seen you … in my dreams, in my visions, everywhere, … I guess I thought I would see you again but I just didn't know where to start looking. Until that was … I read this report." She opened up the newspaper that had been folded under her arm. Placing it down on the table John realised that she had left the paper open on his first ever story, the one about Shermer High. "It's taken me this long to get the guts to walk into your office. I love you son, I'm just sorry it took me a long time to realise how much. You make me very proud."
"Mum, I …" John struggled to find the words he wanted to say, instead he made the two paces he needed to get to his mum and hugged her, and she hugged back. In all of his life, apart from those intimate moments he had shared with Claire and the meetings with Leila, this was the first time that he had ever felt truer love, from anyone. "I love you, mum. I'm sorry I went off the way I did all those years ago but I truly didn't think you wanted to know me anymore."
"I know … I'm sorry," Alicia said through her snivels, tears falling from her eyes like raindrops. "I'm so very sorry for everything I did and, retrospectively, didn't do for you. I love you son."
They must have stood there for at least quarter of an hour, hugging each other and crying, mother and son reunited. And when they both felt it was right they pulled apart.
"Mum, would you like to join me for dinner? I've got an exhibition to go to later and maybe you would like to come and meet my friends then."
"John, I'd love to, and dinner is most definitely on me."
"Nah, I can get it on the company, we can go somewhere real nice, what do you say?"
"Okay, but you must come over for dinner at the weekend and meet Stanley."
"Stanley? Mum, what's this … new fella?"
"I never questioned you over your girlfriends, don't question me over my husbands."
"Husband? It gets better."
"Put the reporters cap away else I won't talk."
"Pretty Please!" he said, a sly grin appearing across his face in true Bender style.
"Now there's the smile I've missed for so long," she replied, pinching his cheek playfully, "Okay, as you asked so nicely. Take me to lunch and I'll spill the beans." And so John did just that, he took his mum to probably the fanciest restaurant she had ever been to in her life and she told him everything, everything about what she had done since his fathers death. When she had met Stanley, when she realised that she was in love with the most decent of men, and when they had married. The only thing that she had regretted about the whole thing was that John hadn't been there at any moment to enjoy any of his mother's new found happiness.
When lunch was finished up they walked the short distance from the restaurant to where John had his house. Alicia was in awe, such a wonderful house and lovely area that her son had picked out for himself. Making her way into the house she was met by a distinctly male environment but it was friendly and there were even a few hints of femininity; maybe Claire had rubbed off on him a little. John motioned for her to go into the front room, which she did and found a comfortable perch on the window seat positioned in the bay window.
Rusty, noticing the potential new friend, picked himself up from his usual spot by the front door and padded through the house to where Alicia was sat. Sitting down he raised his paw, which she took and shook, using her other hand to stroke his head. He was right, she was a new friend. He hoped he would see her again. Noticing John walking into the room and setting down a tray on the coffee table, he laid down at Alicia's feet to pretend that he hadn't been bothering her.
"Has Rusty been a nuisance?" John asked.
"Not at all, I'm surprised to see such a mild mannered dog, he obviously doesn't take after his owner."
"Just because I used to have a temper like a cat on hot coals before, doesn't mean I have now," John answered, handing his mother one of the two hot cups of coffee he was holding and taking the vacant seat next to her. "I've managed to calm down a bit, spending most of my time on my own has taught me a few things and having Rusty close by has helped."
"How long have you had him?"
"Six years, when I got him he was only a puppy. It felt good to train him and see what I could achieve if I only put my mind to it. That's when things started to really turn around for me. I was already working at the paper, doing all the odd jobs that no-one else wanted to do, then I had a fit of inspiration and read one of the new books that had arrived on the top thirty bestsellers list. It was a bit of a comical thriller, not bad really but the guy who had been asked to review it did a really bad job. I saw my opportunity, wrote down what I thought and handed it to the editor. He loved it so much that he gave me a couple more to do, then a few more and again more. Then I got the chance to have my own column, which I took immediately, and due to that I haven't looked back since. Before I left the 'Tribune' I had my own team and I reviewed everything from books to music to theatre to film, every medium. Then I got a shot at writing an article, well I asked for it and I was given the chance. The people at the 'Sun Times' must have liked it though as they tracked me down and offered me a better job, which as you are aware, I took."
"I am so proud of you, John. I always knew you were destined for something better than what you had been brought into. I'm glad you've found your place."
"Mum, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure."
"How did you know where to find me? That newspaper you placed on the table was a 'Tribune', how did you know to look for me at the 'Sun Times'?"
"Ever the detective! A friend of mine had been keeping the papers that her son used to bring home with him," she lied, "and apparently he once said that he couldn't believe John Bender, the criminal, could have a proper job. She read what you had written and was amazed. She didn't say anything to start with though. It wasn't until she saw your picture displayed with an article of yours that she came over and saw me. That was when I found out where you were, well at least knew who you worked for."
'Nice lie' he thought, there was no way any of her friends would read this kind of paper – of that he was sure, and if she knew all of his stories then why be reading the one in the conference room at work, things didn't add up. He also knew that none of his articles had ever shown his picture, she was covering up for someone but he couldn't work out who. Mind you, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, and lose her again – 'I'll play along for the moment,' he concluded.
They continued to talk and drink coffee for the rest of the afternoon until it was time to get ready for the exhibition. John went upstairs to get changed whilst his mum pottered around clearing the dirty cups away, cleaning the same, letting Stanley know where she was and being increasingly happy with Stan's reaction to dinner on Sunday – he had loved the idea, he really wanted to get to know his step-son and perhaps be the father figure for him that his own father had never been.
Returning downstairs, John found his mum looking at the snow scene card that he had received those few short months ago. She looked so happy, his father had never made her look that way, and he knew it was down to Stanley. He had heard part of the conversation that Alicia was having with Stanley over the telephone, bless her, she obviously couldn't hear too much and spoke more loudly these days to try to compensate. Stanley seemed to be worthy and John couldn't wait to meet him.
"The exhibition we're going to tonight, mum, it's the same lady that drew that picture, and painted the picture I have hanging in the front room."
"I think I am going to enjoy this evening, if those two pieces of her work are anything to go by. You will introduce to your friends won't you?"
"Of course, what did you think I was going to do, leave you high and dry as soon as we got there so that you and I wouldn't enjoy ourselves."
"What do you mean by that?" Alicia asked.
"Nothing, just shooting my mouth off."
"No, you meant something, I know you don't forget, you don't just shoot your mouth off."
"It's just that Claire will probably be there"
"Claire?"
"You must remember Claire, the girl I left home for who proceeded to leave me in due course and …" he stopped abruptly.
"And?"
"Mum, we have this amazing daughter. I only met Leila recently but she is the most wonderful person, so bright and funny. I am so proud of her."
"But?"
"But Claire and I, we … she walked out on me sixteen years ago, I loved her then … I still do, in my own way, but we can never be together."
"Why?"
"Because I can't trust her," John said, the sparkle leaving his eye momentarily whilst Alicia looked on. "She wrote me a note which she intended to give me, a note I probably would have been able to take on board, I could have found her, made her understand, that nothing she was saying mattered to me. I would have laid down my life for her then, taken on my responsibility, but she obviously didn't think I could manage, and felt I would end up like dad."
"People do strange things, John, for very strange reasons. I still can't explain why your dad did do some of the things that he did, like that cigar burn on your arm for instance and that wasn't because of love; but I think Claire saw what may of happened instead of thinking about what you could have had together with each other's love and understanding. I never saw you more relaxed and subdued as I ever did when you and Claire were together. You were a different person when you were with her and I know you would have doted on Leila as she was growing up, anyone seeing the way you just talked about her would know that. John, you may have your fathers temper, but I know you would never do anything to hurt anyone your heart is too good. You need to focus on now though and leave the past behind. "
"Thanks, mum, that means so much coming from you. I'm so glad you decided to walk into the offices this morning."
"So am I," she replied, reaching over for a hug, "so am I."
A/n: please r/r
Chapter 16 – Mother & Son
John Bender strode into the offices to be greeted by his boss, "John, you know this Allison Clarke woman, don't you?"
"Yeah, sure, I was at school with her. What's she up to?"
"She and her partner are having an exhibition and I want you to get down there to check it out. Okay?"
"Yeah … Okay," he said, unsure whether he wanted to go or not. 'Guess I gotta get another "failed start, again" meeting with Claire over and done with,' he thought.
"Oh and by the way," his boss said with his back towards him and walking back to his office "there's a woman waiting for you in the conference room."
'A woman,' his mind continued, 'maybe my luck is changing.'
He strode over to his desk first and quickly scanned through the messages that had been left there by his assistant, nothing that couldn't wait. Making his way back across the landing to where the conference room was situated. He wasn't quite ready for the shock that hit him when he opened the door and walked into the room. There before him was a grey haired woman in her mid fifties looking at the framed articles positioned around the walls. She was reading the only one in the room that was his, and she seemed to be far away as if she hadn't heard him enter the room.
"Mum?" he heard himself say.
She started, but slowly turned to face him. He had scared her unintentionally. "Yes, John," she replied, "it's me. I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in I'm a little deaf, your father …"
"No, don't even go there, don't excuse him for what he did to you or me. What are you doing here? To be honest … I never thought I would see you again."
"Nor did I, and I wasn't defending your father. When he died and I began to live I realised I hated him, and when I … well I realised he didn't love me, how could he hitting on me like he did. And you. I feel so guilty that I got you involved with him, I should have followed your grandparents advice and left him long ago … but I loved him, I thought I did, I know now I was scared of him. I needed to come and find you, to let you know."
"So why then, has it taken you so long to come find me?"
"I honestly didn't know where you were and I regret the day I turned my back on you, ever since then I have seen you … in my dreams, in my visions, everywhere, … I guess I thought I would see you again but I just didn't know where to start looking. Until that was … I read this report." She opened up the newspaper that had been folded under her arm. Placing it down on the table John realised that she had left the paper open on his first ever story, the one about Shermer High. "It's taken me this long to get the guts to walk into your office. I love you son, I'm just sorry it took me a long time to realise how much. You make me very proud."
"Mum, I …" John struggled to find the words he wanted to say, instead he made the two paces he needed to get to his mum and hugged her, and she hugged back. In all of his life, apart from those intimate moments he had shared with Claire and the meetings with Leila, this was the first time that he had ever felt truer love, from anyone. "I love you, mum. I'm sorry I went off the way I did all those years ago but I truly didn't think you wanted to know me anymore."
"I know … I'm sorry," Alicia said through her snivels, tears falling from her eyes like raindrops. "I'm so very sorry for everything I did and, retrospectively, didn't do for you. I love you son."
They must have stood there for at least quarter of an hour, hugging each other and crying, mother and son reunited. And when they both felt it was right they pulled apart.
"Mum, would you like to join me for dinner? I've got an exhibition to go to later and maybe you would like to come and meet my friends then."
"John, I'd love to, and dinner is most definitely on me."
"Nah, I can get it on the company, we can go somewhere real nice, what do you say?"
"Okay, but you must come over for dinner at the weekend and meet Stanley."
"Stanley? Mum, what's this … new fella?"
"I never questioned you over your girlfriends, don't question me over my husbands."
"Husband? It gets better."
"Put the reporters cap away else I won't talk."
"Pretty Please!" he said, a sly grin appearing across his face in true Bender style.
"Now there's the smile I've missed for so long," she replied, pinching his cheek playfully, "Okay, as you asked so nicely. Take me to lunch and I'll spill the beans." And so John did just that, he took his mum to probably the fanciest restaurant she had ever been to in her life and she told him everything, everything about what she had done since his fathers death. When she had met Stanley, when she realised that she was in love with the most decent of men, and when they had married. The only thing that she had regretted about the whole thing was that John hadn't been there at any moment to enjoy any of his mother's new found happiness.
When lunch was finished up they walked the short distance from the restaurant to where John had his house. Alicia was in awe, such a wonderful house and lovely area that her son had picked out for himself. Making her way into the house she was met by a distinctly male environment but it was friendly and there were even a few hints of femininity; maybe Claire had rubbed off on him a little. John motioned for her to go into the front room, which she did and found a comfortable perch on the window seat positioned in the bay window.
Rusty, noticing the potential new friend, picked himself up from his usual spot by the front door and padded through the house to where Alicia was sat. Sitting down he raised his paw, which she took and shook, using her other hand to stroke his head. He was right, she was a new friend. He hoped he would see her again. Noticing John walking into the room and setting down a tray on the coffee table, he laid down at Alicia's feet to pretend that he hadn't been bothering her.
"Has Rusty been a nuisance?" John asked.
"Not at all, I'm surprised to see such a mild mannered dog, he obviously doesn't take after his owner."
"Just because I used to have a temper like a cat on hot coals before, doesn't mean I have now," John answered, handing his mother one of the two hot cups of coffee he was holding and taking the vacant seat next to her. "I've managed to calm down a bit, spending most of my time on my own has taught me a few things and having Rusty close by has helped."
"How long have you had him?"
"Six years, when I got him he was only a puppy. It felt good to train him and see what I could achieve if I only put my mind to it. That's when things started to really turn around for me. I was already working at the paper, doing all the odd jobs that no-one else wanted to do, then I had a fit of inspiration and read one of the new books that had arrived on the top thirty bestsellers list. It was a bit of a comical thriller, not bad really but the guy who had been asked to review it did a really bad job. I saw my opportunity, wrote down what I thought and handed it to the editor. He loved it so much that he gave me a couple more to do, then a few more and again more. Then I got the chance to have my own column, which I took immediately, and due to that I haven't looked back since. Before I left the 'Tribune' I had my own team and I reviewed everything from books to music to theatre to film, every medium. Then I got a shot at writing an article, well I asked for it and I was given the chance. The people at the 'Sun Times' must have liked it though as they tracked me down and offered me a better job, which as you are aware, I took."
"I am so proud of you, John. I always knew you were destined for something better than what you had been brought into. I'm glad you've found your place."
"Mum, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure."
"How did you know where to find me? That newspaper you placed on the table was a 'Tribune', how did you know to look for me at the 'Sun Times'?"
"Ever the detective! A friend of mine had been keeping the papers that her son used to bring home with him," she lied, "and apparently he once said that he couldn't believe John Bender, the criminal, could have a proper job. She read what you had written and was amazed. She didn't say anything to start with though. It wasn't until she saw your picture displayed with an article of yours that she came over and saw me. That was when I found out where you were, well at least knew who you worked for."
'Nice lie' he thought, there was no way any of her friends would read this kind of paper – of that he was sure, and if she knew all of his stories then why be reading the one in the conference room at work, things didn't add up. He also knew that none of his articles had ever shown his picture, she was covering up for someone but he couldn't work out who. Mind you, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, and lose her again – 'I'll play along for the moment,' he concluded.
They continued to talk and drink coffee for the rest of the afternoon until it was time to get ready for the exhibition. John went upstairs to get changed whilst his mum pottered around clearing the dirty cups away, cleaning the same, letting Stanley know where she was and being increasingly happy with Stan's reaction to dinner on Sunday – he had loved the idea, he really wanted to get to know his step-son and perhaps be the father figure for him that his own father had never been.
Returning downstairs, John found his mum looking at the snow scene card that he had received those few short months ago. She looked so happy, his father had never made her look that way, and he knew it was down to Stanley. He had heard part of the conversation that Alicia was having with Stanley over the telephone, bless her, she obviously couldn't hear too much and spoke more loudly these days to try to compensate. Stanley seemed to be worthy and John couldn't wait to meet him.
"The exhibition we're going to tonight, mum, it's the same lady that drew that picture, and painted the picture I have hanging in the front room."
"I think I am going to enjoy this evening, if those two pieces of her work are anything to go by. You will introduce to your friends won't you?"
"Of course, what did you think I was going to do, leave you high and dry as soon as we got there so that you and I wouldn't enjoy ourselves."
"What do you mean by that?" Alicia asked.
"Nothing, just shooting my mouth off."
"No, you meant something, I know you don't forget, you don't just shoot your mouth off."
"It's just that Claire will probably be there"
"Claire?"
"You must remember Claire, the girl I left home for who proceeded to leave me in due course and …" he stopped abruptly.
"And?"
"Mum, we have this amazing daughter. I only met Leila recently but she is the most wonderful person, so bright and funny. I am so proud of her."
"But?"
"But Claire and I, we … she walked out on me sixteen years ago, I loved her then … I still do, in my own way, but we can never be together."
"Why?"
"Because I can't trust her," John said, the sparkle leaving his eye momentarily whilst Alicia looked on. "She wrote me a note which she intended to give me, a note I probably would have been able to take on board, I could have found her, made her understand, that nothing she was saying mattered to me. I would have laid down my life for her then, taken on my responsibility, but she obviously didn't think I could manage, and felt I would end up like dad."
"People do strange things, John, for very strange reasons. I still can't explain why your dad did do some of the things that he did, like that cigar burn on your arm for instance and that wasn't because of love; but I think Claire saw what may of happened instead of thinking about what you could have had together with each other's love and understanding. I never saw you more relaxed and subdued as I ever did when you and Claire were together. You were a different person when you were with her and I know you would have doted on Leila as she was growing up, anyone seeing the way you just talked about her would know that. John, you may have your fathers temper, but I know you would never do anything to hurt anyone your heart is too good. You need to focus on now though and leave the past behind. "
"Thanks, mum, that means so much coming from you. I'm so glad you decided to walk into the offices this morning."
"So am I," she replied, reaching over for a hug, "so am I."