Chapter 1 - Never the Same
It was A.C. 199. Two years ago the war had finally ended and there was peace throughout the world. New schools were established on space colonies and the earth. The gundam pilots belonged to the earth no matter where they were born and after releaving the very first shock of war and its terrors the pilots at the age of 17 had finally enrolled themselves at a new school in hopes that their lives could become what the others called "normal", but could they possibly be the same?
A tall girl walked into a dark classroom. The windows were still shut and the blinds hung across them. She tapped her finger lightly on the desk as she gazed around the empty classroom. A little breeze flew through the door lifting the girl's blonde hair into the air. She swiftly flicked her hair behind her shoulder and collapsed on a chair.
"The Queen," she wondered. "If only they knew royalty gives me nothing but sadness."
Relena chuckled to herself. Pargan had asked her if she was sure she wanted to go back to school. After all, she would have much less time to work but she was stubbourn, insisting she went to school. Only now did she realise that this would be the only thing that would take her mind off the hardships of being Queen.
"Relena," said a monotone voice.
Relena turned her head slightly to see who was standing at the door. This was not the boy who had threatened to kill her so many times. The need to kill was all gone from his face and only scars left what had been there on his face before. Relena turned her head towards the window in sadness.
"This is what war does to everyone, isn't it," whispered Relena not caring if Heero heard her or not.
There was no reply, just a shuffle of a chair as Heero put his bag down next to the table. His hands shook as he opened his bag to get his books. Agitated, he slammed his hands against the table making Relena jump. She turned to look at his prussian blue eyes. They were only filled with sadness and grief. He looked down at his bruised hands. Could bruises be permanent?
"I have no will to live. Why do I keep going?" asked Heero.
Relena sighed and looked down at the desk. Two years ago she would have put up a fight with Heero to tell him that everyone had a will to live, but how could she tell him that when she was losing her own will to live?
Another breeze blew in, shutting the door softly. Relena looked at her table. There was writing all over it even though the school was new. Someone had already graffited it with scissors.
Relena glanced at Heero. He had no determination left on his face and he was no longer staring at the front of the blackboard. Those times had long passed. Now he plainly sat on his chair with his eyes closed thinking to himself. Relena respected his silence since she had long stopped screaming out his name whenever he was near her.
Suddenly the door burst open and teenagers flooded into the room chatting away happily. They didn't even notice the Queen in the room who was crying within herself.
Slowly the class filled with more students. An american boy dragged himself to a seat and sat next to Heero. His dark brown plat reached his waist. He had been the last chance for the gundam pilots, but soon the fire lit out within him too. The once cheerful, disruptive boy was now solemn and quiet. What had the war done to him? What had it done to the happy Duo every girl on the streets knew?
"Hi, my name is Lucy. What's your name?" asked a blushing her sitting infront of Relena.
She spun around on her chair facing Relena. She could see the sorrow in Relena's eyes but tried to ignore it.
"I am Relena Peacecraft, the Queen," answered Relena.
"Your majesty? I thought it was you! I just wanted to check. So how had your holidays been?" asked the girl with an excited voice.
Relena winced from her excited voice. It was so happy it hurt her. She would just have to bear with the loud girl, after all, 2 years ago she wouldn't have seen anything wrong with the girl.
The class suddenly became silent and Relena sighed of relief. What had she done these holidays besides work, eat, sleep and just sit in her armchair for hours thinking about nothing in particular.
"As you all know, this is a new school and I will have to go through the rules first, since you all are new here," explained the teacher.
The teacher's voice pierced Relena's ear and she grabbed her ears blocking out the sounds. She didn't want to hear what the teacher was saying. She wanted silence. Silence was beautiful and she would be engaged in it for hours at home. She had forgotten how loud and chatty school really was. Was she really going to be happy here? Was her youth going to return if she tried to learn and join in with the conversations?
The teacher stared around her classroom as she watched the kids write down the rules in their books. Her eye caught the queen, Relena Peacecraft. She had her head on the table and wasn't even paying attention to the board.
"Relena, why are you not writing down the rules?" asked the teacher.
"What does it matter? No matter how many times you write the rules, they are always broken," answered Relena sadly.
The teacher sighed realising there was no point arguing with the Queen who was thought to have overloaded work. Rumours spread that she barely slept but just sat in her chair until midnight staring out onto the dark blue sky.
The teacher's face turned to see a former gundam pilot. The class was probably aware of the pilots' situation. No one was to bother them more than once if they didn't want to be bothered. The blonde arabian boy sat writing down the rules neatly though what came from the board went straight to the book without even entering his mind. His eyes were full of kindness. They scared the teacher as she looked deeply into them. He turned to look at her. He was too kind. She quickly turned her head away from him glancing at 2 other former gundam pilots - Trowa, and Wufei. She had heard that the gundam pilot Trowa hid all his emotions in a mask and Wufei spent most of his time meditating and staying in trances.
The teacher turned her head to a group of girls who were gossiping about other girls. She wasn't scared to watch them. She just wondered if any of the girls knew what war was anyway. Perhaps she would have a lesson with them about that today.
"Can somebody please tell me what war is please, before we finish today's lesson?" asked the teacher.
Heero flinched and closed his eyes again. The class's gaze turned towards the gundam pilots who they noticed for the first time. Lucy's hand shot up to impress Relena. The teacher turned towards her and nodded.
"War is a bad thing that happens when people argue. There should be peace and the two sides should stop arguing," answered Lucy satisfied with her answer.
She turned to look at Relena to see if she was impressed but to her surprise a tear dropped down Relena's cheek and she quickly wiped it, giving an awkward smile to Lucy. Relena lifted her hand. She had to make sure everyone really knew what war was like.
The teacher turned nervously to Relena. She didn't want Relena to answer because it could traumatise the class, but then, Relena wouldn't go that far.
"Relena," said the teacher.
Heero opened his eyes gazing at Relena as she stood up thinking over what to say and what not to.
"War is where soldiers are forced to fight even against their will. Soldiers fight for a cause which some don't even know, but. the soldiers are left scarred. Their hearts have been ripped, their souls torn. Their lives gone. They lose their will to live. That is why there are so little survivors from war. They don't want to come back. The memories are like burdens stuck on their shoulders. They will never be at peace!" said Relena angrily and then sat down.
The class fell silent and stared at their Queen. They had never heard that side of the story and some even looked shocked at what they didn't know.
"Class. is. d. dismissed," answered the teacher falling back into her chair.
"Poor children," thought the teacher as the children left leaving only the pilots and Relena.
"Ms Kenzy, how did you pass through the war?" asked Quatre suddenly.
The teacher broke from her thoughts and stared at the child in front of her. He was only 17 yet his knowledge was beyond 30.
"We were in hiding most of the war, on Earth," answered Ms Kenzy. "You should go outside."
Quatre nodded and the group stood up and walked out the door slowly. As soon as they left Ms Kenzy rushed to the door and slammed it shut. She ran back to her desk and sat down letting out the tears as they poured down her cheeks.
"Why? They are 17 and ready to die! Why?" whispered Ms Kenzy fingering the golden cross on her necklace.
Heero paced around the tree finally deciding to sit down on the root. He watched the other boys play soccer. Child Play! Suddenly one of the boys stopped and walked across the grass feeling weird.
"Hey Heero! My name is Mike. Want to play with us?" the boy asked.
"Why?" asked Heero in his monotone voice.
"Because it is fun. What's the matter? Do you know how to play?"
"Yes"
"Then why won't you play"
"I don't play"
"I heard you were very good at basketball! Why don't you try?"
Suddenly this boy was pestering Heero more than ever. Heero stood up angrily and pushed Mike aside. Mike tripped over the root and fell with a thump.
"Nice meeting you," screamed Mike after Heero.
Heero turned and walked across the playground. Kids stopped and watched as he walked past. There wasn't anybody who didn't know his name. He was the "Hero" who saved earth. Suddenly he bumped into something soft. He looked up to see Ms Kenzy.
"Sorry," said Heero walking past her. He hadn't noticed that she had been crying minutes ago. Suddenly she grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back.
"Heero, I want you to go to church with me, after school," said Ms Kenzy very quickly relieved that she had said it.
Heero ignored her and walked past. She rushed after him and grabbed his wrist knowing he could throw her on the ground if he wanted to.
"Heero, I want you to go to church with me!" screamed Ms Kenzy desperately.
Heero stopped and glared at her angrily. Why did he need to go to church with her even though he barely knew what god was?
"I'll meet you at the front gate today after school," said Ms Kenzy rushing away from him before he could protest.
Heero thought where he had heard church from. Duo. He was supposed to be a priest before he became a gundam pilot. Luckily Duo was in sight. His back was leaned against the wall and he was looking down at the ground.
"Duo," Heero called out.
Duo looked up without smiling and approached Heero.
"Duo, do you go to church?" asked Heero.
"No," answered Duo sadly.
"Why? You were supposed to be a priest."
"Look at me Heero! Do I look like a priest? God let me down once, so I don't want him anymore."
Heero walked away quickly realising he was making Duo even more upset. Suddenly he stopped. Since when did he care if he made people upset? Heero looked back at Duo who was now sliding down to the ground. In his hand something caught the light and shon. Heero looked at the cross Duo was holding. Duo put his head to the cross and whispered something. Heero looked away meeting Relena's eyes. At one time he had loved her, but now, he couldn't figure out what love was.
"Heero," whispered Relena quietly as she watched tears pour down Duo's face. He gripped the cross and moaned quietly to himself.
"Not one of us left the battlefield without leaving something behind. How many things do we have to keep putting behind us before its over?" asked Heero.
Relena shook her head in sadness.
"I don't know."
It was A.C. 199. Two years ago the war had finally ended and there was peace throughout the world. New schools were established on space colonies and the earth. The gundam pilots belonged to the earth no matter where they were born and after releaving the very first shock of war and its terrors the pilots at the age of 17 had finally enrolled themselves at a new school in hopes that their lives could become what the others called "normal", but could they possibly be the same?
A tall girl walked into a dark classroom. The windows were still shut and the blinds hung across them. She tapped her finger lightly on the desk as she gazed around the empty classroom. A little breeze flew through the door lifting the girl's blonde hair into the air. She swiftly flicked her hair behind her shoulder and collapsed on a chair.
"The Queen," she wondered. "If only they knew royalty gives me nothing but sadness."
Relena chuckled to herself. Pargan had asked her if she was sure she wanted to go back to school. After all, she would have much less time to work but she was stubbourn, insisting she went to school. Only now did she realise that this would be the only thing that would take her mind off the hardships of being Queen.
"Relena," said a monotone voice.
Relena turned her head slightly to see who was standing at the door. This was not the boy who had threatened to kill her so many times. The need to kill was all gone from his face and only scars left what had been there on his face before. Relena turned her head towards the window in sadness.
"This is what war does to everyone, isn't it," whispered Relena not caring if Heero heard her or not.
There was no reply, just a shuffle of a chair as Heero put his bag down next to the table. His hands shook as he opened his bag to get his books. Agitated, he slammed his hands against the table making Relena jump. She turned to look at his prussian blue eyes. They were only filled with sadness and grief. He looked down at his bruised hands. Could bruises be permanent?
"I have no will to live. Why do I keep going?" asked Heero.
Relena sighed and looked down at the desk. Two years ago she would have put up a fight with Heero to tell him that everyone had a will to live, but how could she tell him that when she was losing her own will to live?
Another breeze blew in, shutting the door softly. Relena looked at her table. There was writing all over it even though the school was new. Someone had already graffited it with scissors.
Relena glanced at Heero. He had no determination left on his face and he was no longer staring at the front of the blackboard. Those times had long passed. Now he plainly sat on his chair with his eyes closed thinking to himself. Relena respected his silence since she had long stopped screaming out his name whenever he was near her.
Suddenly the door burst open and teenagers flooded into the room chatting away happily. They didn't even notice the Queen in the room who was crying within herself.
Slowly the class filled with more students. An american boy dragged himself to a seat and sat next to Heero. His dark brown plat reached his waist. He had been the last chance for the gundam pilots, but soon the fire lit out within him too. The once cheerful, disruptive boy was now solemn and quiet. What had the war done to him? What had it done to the happy Duo every girl on the streets knew?
"Hi, my name is Lucy. What's your name?" asked a blushing her sitting infront of Relena.
She spun around on her chair facing Relena. She could see the sorrow in Relena's eyes but tried to ignore it.
"I am Relena Peacecraft, the Queen," answered Relena.
"Your majesty? I thought it was you! I just wanted to check. So how had your holidays been?" asked the girl with an excited voice.
Relena winced from her excited voice. It was so happy it hurt her. She would just have to bear with the loud girl, after all, 2 years ago she wouldn't have seen anything wrong with the girl.
The class suddenly became silent and Relena sighed of relief. What had she done these holidays besides work, eat, sleep and just sit in her armchair for hours thinking about nothing in particular.
"As you all know, this is a new school and I will have to go through the rules first, since you all are new here," explained the teacher.
The teacher's voice pierced Relena's ear and she grabbed her ears blocking out the sounds. She didn't want to hear what the teacher was saying. She wanted silence. Silence was beautiful and she would be engaged in it for hours at home. She had forgotten how loud and chatty school really was. Was she really going to be happy here? Was her youth going to return if she tried to learn and join in with the conversations?
The teacher stared around her classroom as she watched the kids write down the rules in their books. Her eye caught the queen, Relena Peacecraft. She had her head on the table and wasn't even paying attention to the board.
"Relena, why are you not writing down the rules?" asked the teacher.
"What does it matter? No matter how many times you write the rules, they are always broken," answered Relena sadly.
The teacher sighed realising there was no point arguing with the Queen who was thought to have overloaded work. Rumours spread that she barely slept but just sat in her chair until midnight staring out onto the dark blue sky.
The teacher's face turned to see a former gundam pilot. The class was probably aware of the pilots' situation. No one was to bother them more than once if they didn't want to be bothered. The blonde arabian boy sat writing down the rules neatly though what came from the board went straight to the book without even entering his mind. His eyes were full of kindness. They scared the teacher as she looked deeply into them. He turned to look at her. He was too kind. She quickly turned her head away from him glancing at 2 other former gundam pilots - Trowa, and Wufei. She had heard that the gundam pilot Trowa hid all his emotions in a mask and Wufei spent most of his time meditating and staying in trances.
The teacher turned her head to a group of girls who were gossiping about other girls. She wasn't scared to watch them. She just wondered if any of the girls knew what war was anyway. Perhaps she would have a lesson with them about that today.
"Can somebody please tell me what war is please, before we finish today's lesson?" asked the teacher.
Heero flinched and closed his eyes again. The class's gaze turned towards the gundam pilots who they noticed for the first time. Lucy's hand shot up to impress Relena. The teacher turned towards her and nodded.
"War is a bad thing that happens when people argue. There should be peace and the two sides should stop arguing," answered Lucy satisfied with her answer.
She turned to look at Relena to see if she was impressed but to her surprise a tear dropped down Relena's cheek and she quickly wiped it, giving an awkward smile to Lucy. Relena lifted her hand. She had to make sure everyone really knew what war was like.
The teacher turned nervously to Relena. She didn't want Relena to answer because it could traumatise the class, but then, Relena wouldn't go that far.
"Relena," said the teacher.
Heero opened his eyes gazing at Relena as she stood up thinking over what to say and what not to.
"War is where soldiers are forced to fight even against their will. Soldiers fight for a cause which some don't even know, but. the soldiers are left scarred. Their hearts have been ripped, their souls torn. Their lives gone. They lose their will to live. That is why there are so little survivors from war. They don't want to come back. The memories are like burdens stuck on their shoulders. They will never be at peace!" said Relena angrily and then sat down.
The class fell silent and stared at their Queen. They had never heard that side of the story and some even looked shocked at what they didn't know.
"Class. is. d. dismissed," answered the teacher falling back into her chair.
"Poor children," thought the teacher as the children left leaving only the pilots and Relena.
"Ms Kenzy, how did you pass through the war?" asked Quatre suddenly.
The teacher broke from her thoughts and stared at the child in front of her. He was only 17 yet his knowledge was beyond 30.
"We were in hiding most of the war, on Earth," answered Ms Kenzy. "You should go outside."
Quatre nodded and the group stood up and walked out the door slowly. As soon as they left Ms Kenzy rushed to the door and slammed it shut. She ran back to her desk and sat down letting out the tears as they poured down her cheeks.
"Why? They are 17 and ready to die! Why?" whispered Ms Kenzy fingering the golden cross on her necklace.
Heero paced around the tree finally deciding to sit down on the root. He watched the other boys play soccer. Child Play! Suddenly one of the boys stopped and walked across the grass feeling weird.
"Hey Heero! My name is Mike. Want to play with us?" the boy asked.
"Why?" asked Heero in his monotone voice.
"Because it is fun. What's the matter? Do you know how to play?"
"Yes"
"Then why won't you play"
"I don't play"
"I heard you were very good at basketball! Why don't you try?"
Suddenly this boy was pestering Heero more than ever. Heero stood up angrily and pushed Mike aside. Mike tripped over the root and fell with a thump.
"Nice meeting you," screamed Mike after Heero.
Heero turned and walked across the playground. Kids stopped and watched as he walked past. There wasn't anybody who didn't know his name. He was the "Hero" who saved earth. Suddenly he bumped into something soft. He looked up to see Ms Kenzy.
"Sorry," said Heero walking past her. He hadn't noticed that she had been crying minutes ago. Suddenly she grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back.
"Heero, I want you to go to church with me, after school," said Ms Kenzy very quickly relieved that she had said it.
Heero ignored her and walked past. She rushed after him and grabbed his wrist knowing he could throw her on the ground if he wanted to.
"Heero, I want you to go to church with me!" screamed Ms Kenzy desperately.
Heero stopped and glared at her angrily. Why did he need to go to church with her even though he barely knew what god was?
"I'll meet you at the front gate today after school," said Ms Kenzy rushing away from him before he could protest.
Heero thought where he had heard church from. Duo. He was supposed to be a priest before he became a gundam pilot. Luckily Duo was in sight. His back was leaned against the wall and he was looking down at the ground.
"Duo," Heero called out.
Duo looked up without smiling and approached Heero.
"Duo, do you go to church?" asked Heero.
"No," answered Duo sadly.
"Why? You were supposed to be a priest."
"Look at me Heero! Do I look like a priest? God let me down once, so I don't want him anymore."
Heero walked away quickly realising he was making Duo even more upset. Suddenly he stopped. Since when did he care if he made people upset? Heero looked back at Duo who was now sliding down to the ground. In his hand something caught the light and shon. Heero looked at the cross Duo was holding. Duo put his head to the cross and whispered something. Heero looked away meeting Relena's eyes. At one time he had loved her, but now, he couldn't figure out what love was.
"Heero," whispered Relena quietly as she watched tears pour down Duo's face. He gripped the cross and moaned quietly to himself.
"Not one of us left the battlefield without leaving something behind. How many things do we have to keep putting behind us before its over?" asked Heero.
Relena shook her head in sadness.
"I don't know."