Stephan Cross shook his head in bewilderment as he dug trough his briefcase
for his notepad.
He was about to treat a vampire for romance problems.
A vampire.
A real life, walking, talking VAMPIRE.
He rubbed his forehead sadly. How the hell are you going to get out of this one, Steve? He thought grimly. This was going to be even weirder then the time helped those two transsexuals decide who was the man in the family.
*****************************
Spike sat down in front of the doctor eyeing him carefully. "Soooo are you gonna do this?"
Stephan looked the vampire over, narrowing his eyes in annoyance. "Yes, since you've made it clear you might kill me if I don't."
A moment of indecision washed over Spike. The Doctor didn't know that he couldn't hurt humans. It was probably wrong to let this poor guy fear for his life but if Doc found out he wouldn't help him. Spike just shrugged his thoughts away. What did he care about this guy's feelings? He was evil. In fact…
He casually slipped his game face on and smiled at Stephan. This caused an immediate shiver in the young doctor. "That's right, shrink! Try not to forget it."
He smiled and kept talking, "Let's get started."
Dr. Cross didn't hear him anymore, he just saw the rows of fangs in Spike's mouth. "R-right. Let's get this show on the road." Taking a deep breath he refocused himself on his job. "Where would you like to start?"
"I'm in love with this girl…"
"What's her name?"
"Buffy."
Cross just sighed when he heard that name. Only in California would someone seriously consider naming their child Buffy and still be able to look themselves in the mirror.
He wrote down the girl's name in his pad under the heading 'New Patient (Spike) exhibiting potentially obsessive/unhealthy fixation behavior'. Normally he held off on preliminary prognoses until after talking to the patient but this was a special circumstance. Then next to the name Buffy he wrote the word 'Love' and put in parenthesis. He motioned to Spike when he finished writing.
Spike figured that since they were getting started that he might as well lie down and complete the cliché, so he stretched himself out on the nearest stone sarcophagus and continued talking. "I love Buffy but she doesn't love me."
"This Buffy is she a vampire?"
"No."
"So she's human?"
Spike hesitated with that question. How was the best way to phrase this? "She's not just a human," He said hoping that Cross would be able to understand. "She's a Slayer."
"What's a Slayer?"
It actually didn't take all that long for Spike to explain what a Slayer was. It did, however, leave the Doctor with one very important question. "Ummmm If she kills vampires, Why do you love her?"
"I honestly don't know."
Cross closed his notebook and looked Spike over. "Does she love you?"
"I…" His body seemed weaken with defeat as the doctor looked at him, "…don't know."
The Doctor rolled his eyes in annoyance. Oh this was going to be perfect. He and a VAMPIRE were going to try to romance a violent female warrior with super strength and (according to Spike) a tendency to beat the crap out of people who pissed her off.
Why couldn't he have been a lawyer like his mother wanted him to be?
"Tomorrow night, Spike." Dr. Cross straightened his tie, "We'll get started."
And may god help us He added silently.
TBC
He was about to treat a vampire for romance problems.
A vampire.
A real life, walking, talking VAMPIRE.
He rubbed his forehead sadly. How the hell are you going to get out of this one, Steve? He thought grimly. This was going to be even weirder then the time helped those two transsexuals decide who was the man in the family.
*****************************
Spike sat down in front of the doctor eyeing him carefully. "Soooo are you gonna do this?"
Stephan looked the vampire over, narrowing his eyes in annoyance. "Yes, since you've made it clear you might kill me if I don't."
A moment of indecision washed over Spike. The Doctor didn't know that he couldn't hurt humans. It was probably wrong to let this poor guy fear for his life but if Doc found out he wouldn't help him. Spike just shrugged his thoughts away. What did he care about this guy's feelings? He was evil. In fact…
He casually slipped his game face on and smiled at Stephan. This caused an immediate shiver in the young doctor. "That's right, shrink! Try not to forget it."
He smiled and kept talking, "Let's get started."
Dr. Cross didn't hear him anymore, he just saw the rows of fangs in Spike's mouth. "R-right. Let's get this show on the road." Taking a deep breath he refocused himself on his job. "Where would you like to start?"
"I'm in love with this girl…"
"What's her name?"
"Buffy."
Cross just sighed when he heard that name. Only in California would someone seriously consider naming their child Buffy and still be able to look themselves in the mirror.
He wrote down the girl's name in his pad under the heading 'New Patient (Spike) exhibiting potentially obsessive/unhealthy fixation behavior'. Normally he held off on preliminary prognoses until after talking to the patient but this was a special circumstance. Then next to the name Buffy he wrote the word 'Love' and put in parenthesis. He motioned to Spike when he finished writing.
Spike figured that since they were getting started that he might as well lie down and complete the cliché, so he stretched himself out on the nearest stone sarcophagus and continued talking. "I love Buffy but she doesn't love me."
"This Buffy is she a vampire?"
"No."
"So she's human?"
Spike hesitated with that question. How was the best way to phrase this? "She's not just a human," He said hoping that Cross would be able to understand. "She's a Slayer."
"What's a Slayer?"
It actually didn't take all that long for Spike to explain what a Slayer was. It did, however, leave the Doctor with one very important question. "Ummmm If she kills vampires, Why do you love her?"
"I honestly don't know."
Cross closed his notebook and looked Spike over. "Does she love you?"
"I…" His body seemed weaken with defeat as the doctor looked at him, "…don't know."
The Doctor rolled his eyes in annoyance. Oh this was going to be perfect. He and a VAMPIRE were going to try to romance a violent female warrior with super strength and (according to Spike) a tendency to beat the crap out of people who pissed her off.
Why couldn't he have been a lawyer like his mother wanted him to be?
"Tomorrow night, Spike." Dr. Cross straightened his tie, "We'll get started."
And may god help us He added silently.
TBC