Nursery Rhymes That are Majorly Screwed Up:
Part Two
By Stupid Kitten and Stupidkittensbro
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Neither does he.
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1. Frodo that is Stinky (Wee Willie Winkie)
Frodo that is stinky,
Made an odd sound,
Upstairs and downstairs,
All around.
Killing all the flowers,
Smiting all the grass;
Saying, "How did you like the smell coming out my ass?"
2. Bickery Sickery Sock (Hickory Dickory Dock)
Bickery sickery sock,
Elrond cooks with a wok;
The wok fell down,
And he screamed bloody murder.
Bickery Sickery Sock.
3. Simple Sam (Simple Simon)
Simple Sam
Ate a yam,
While pissing behind a tree.
Said Simple Sam to the yam,
"Don't you like my pee?"
Says the yam to Simple Sam,
"I'm blind."
Says Simple Sam to the yam,
"You're really kind."
4. Pippin Whippin (Georgie Porgie)
Pippin Whippin,
He's real shy;
Kissed a girl,
But she was a guy.
Then Merry just came out to say,
"Pippin, you're gay!"
5. Merry had a Little Lamb (Mary had a Little Lamb)
Merry had a little lamb,
It was covered with gasoline.
And every match that Merry lit,
Blew him away clean.
The lamb went into a nuclear plant one day,
And Merry went, too;
It made all the world blow away
When the lamb went BOOM!
6. Dweedle, Dweedle Dwumpling (Deedle, Deedle Dumpling)
Dweedle, dweedle dwumpling,
That Gimli,
Blew up an elf with an uzi;
First he'll cry then he'll pee,
Dweedle, dweedle dwumpling,
That Gimli.
7. Sing a Song of Six Rings (Sing a Song of Sixpence)
Sing a song of six rings,
Riding on a pony;
Four and twenty elves
Eating macaroni!
When the macaroni was finished,
The elves began to moan;
Isn't it unpleasant to get indigestion
When you're not alone?
Legolas was in the forest,
Picking lots of flowers;
Galadriel was in the bathroom,
Singing in the shower.
Elrond was in the kitchen,
Trying to cook a decent meal;
Down fell the ceiling,
And over he did keel.
7. Little Perky Pippin (Little Boy Blue)
Little Perky Pippin,
Don't eat that cake!
The sugar is too high,
The frosting is fake.
Where is that hobbit, who was warned not to eat?
He's in an asylum, for swimming in concrete.
Will they take him?
Definitely not I;
'Cuz if I do,
I'm sure to die.
8. Moosey, Moosey, Mordor (Goosey, Goosey, Gander)
Moosey, moosey, Mordor,
There they will wander.
Upstairs, downstairs,
And in Sauron's chamber.
There they met a Dark Lord
That was looking for the ring.
They kicked him in the teeth,
And brought him to the king.
9. Little Bo-Merry (Little Bo-Peep)
Little Bo-Merry has lost his dromedary,
Doesn't know where to find it;
Get on the phone, and call him at home;
Finding that he had to shit.
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Was this one better than the last one? My brother helped me a bit (especially about the wok), so give him a little credit. My younger sister helped me with the dromedary, so give her a bit, too. Please review if possible- I have a bet with my brother that I can't get ten new reviews… and ten dollars are a stake! So, please review! (Put in a good word for my brother in case it may lighten my sentence…)
Thanks in advance!
Stupid Kitten
Part Two
By Stupid Kitten and Stupidkittensbro
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Neither does he.
%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#
1. Frodo that is Stinky (Wee Willie Winkie)
Frodo that is stinky,
Made an odd sound,
Upstairs and downstairs,
All around.
Killing all the flowers,
Smiting all the grass;
Saying, "How did you like the smell coming out my ass?"
2. Bickery Sickery Sock (Hickory Dickory Dock)
Bickery sickery sock,
Elrond cooks with a wok;
The wok fell down,
And he screamed bloody murder.
Bickery Sickery Sock.
3. Simple Sam (Simple Simon)
Simple Sam
Ate a yam,
While pissing behind a tree.
Said Simple Sam to the yam,
"Don't you like my pee?"
Says the yam to Simple Sam,
"I'm blind."
Says Simple Sam to the yam,
"You're really kind."
4. Pippin Whippin (Georgie Porgie)
Pippin Whippin,
He's real shy;
Kissed a girl,
But she was a guy.
Then Merry just came out to say,
"Pippin, you're gay!"
5. Merry had a Little Lamb (Mary had a Little Lamb)
Merry had a little lamb,
It was covered with gasoline.
And every match that Merry lit,
Blew him away clean.
The lamb went into a nuclear plant one day,
And Merry went, too;
It made all the world blow away
When the lamb went BOOM!
6. Dweedle, Dweedle Dwumpling (Deedle, Deedle Dumpling)
Dweedle, dweedle dwumpling,
That Gimli,
Blew up an elf with an uzi;
First he'll cry then he'll pee,
Dweedle, dweedle dwumpling,
That Gimli.
7. Sing a Song of Six Rings (Sing a Song of Sixpence)
Sing a song of six rings,
Riding on a pony;
Four and twenty elves
Eating macaroni!
When the macaroni was finished,
The elves began to moan;
Isn't it unpleasant to get indigestion
When you're not alone?
Legolas was in the forest,
Picking lots of flowers;
Galadriel was in the bathroom,
Singing in the shower.
Elrond was in the kitchen,
Trying to cook a decent meal;
Down fell the ceiling,
And over he did keel.
7. Little Perky Pippin (Little Boy Blue)
Little Perky Pippin,
Don't eat that cake!
The sugar is too high,
The frosting is fake.
Where is that hobbit, who was warned not to eat?
He's in an asylum, for swimming in concrete.
Will they take him?
Definitely not I;
'Cuz if I do,
I'm sure to die.
8. Moosey, Moosey, Mordor (Goosey, Goosey, Gander)
Moosey, moosey, Mordor,
There they will wander.
Upstairs, downstairs,
And in Sauron's chamber.
There they met a Dark Lord
That was looking for the ring.
They kicked him in the teeth,
And brought him to the king.
9. Little Bo-Merry (Little Bo-Peep)
Little Bo-Merry has lost his dromedary,
Doesn't know where to find it;
Get on the phone, and call him at home;
Finding that he had to shit.
&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&
Was this one better than the last one? My brother helped me a bit (especially about the wok), so give him a little credit. My younger sister helped me with the dromedary, so give her a bit, too. Please review if possible- I have a bet with my brother that I can't get ten new reviews… and ten dollars are a stake! So, please review! (Put in a good word for my brother in case it may lighten my sentence…)
Thanks in advance!
Stupid Kitten