Consequences

Spike stared at the young man with reddened eyes, then stormed off toward his motorcycle. Though his back was turned, Xander heard every word Spike uttered.

"The thing about magic? There's always consequences." He angrily stepped on the starter, "Always!" then drove away.

Written: 4/17/02

Author: Taramisu

Spoilers: Up through Normal Again

Rating: PG-13 to R for some serious content

Summary: Has Willow really been magick free?

Author's Note: This is based on the following ideas: ME told us that we have been misled about something. It was rumored that there would be an Evil!Willow this season.

Author's Note 2: Please excuse the ignorant use of Latin.

Author's Note 3: Thanks be to the betas: Steve and Jacqueline, my soul mate.

Author's Note 4: Is it wrong to answer your own challenge?

Knock-knock

The timid knock reverberated through his crypt. This place, once so full of…life…now lay so quiet and dead. No television. No Buffy shrine. No bed with quilted comforter sporting little paisleys. No li'l bit looking on in terrified fascination as the live-in living dead told tales of days gone by. No. Just an empty shell of a man, on the floor, next to a lone suitcase.

Tara nudged the door a bit and peeked through the small crack she had made. "Spike? Are you in there?"

"Yeah, pet. C'mon in."

His voice was distant and sad, like a man who had lost everything, even the will to live.

She stepped inside, making certain not to allow enough sunlight in to damage him. What she saw caused a frown to mar her gentle features. "Spike? What's going on in here? Are you going somewhere?"

He struggled to lift his head and look into her warm and caring eyes. And that is exactly what he saw: warmth and caring. Why couldn't Buffy ever look at him like that? With her, it was always eyes of fear, loathing, contempt and prejudgment. He never really had a chance. He knew that. But he had to try. And sometimes it had seemed like his hope wasn't in vain. The first time they had made love, Spike felt her love for him radiating from her like the sun's rays -- at first. But then, without warning, what he had dubbed "The evil Twin" emerged and took over her body. With Buffy, it was always either intimacy and love, or hatred and seething anger. There was no in between and there was no telling which Buffy he would meet and when: Sane!Buffy or Evil!Twin. Jekyll or Hyde.

Not that he didn't feel that way himself at times. One minute he would be consumed with passion and tenderness, the next he would feel an overwhelming desire to possess and conquer her. That second Spike had taken over that night at the Bronze. Originally, he was pleased as punch to see his Buffy alone, without her entourage. Then, suddenly, he wasn't himself. He fucked her right then and there, trying to convince her of her own darkness. What had he been thinking?

"Spike?" Tara's soft voice and proximity brought him out of his mind's meanderings.

"Yeah. I'm leavin'. Gonna get outta good ole Sunnydale for good...finally."

Leaving? He's leaving? That didn't sound like the Spike Tara knew. The one who swore to protect Dawn until the end of the world...the one who fought side by side with the very people he previously couldn't stand to be around, if only to honor the memory of the woman he loved. "Why now?"

Spike snorted derisively and scoffed. "Wow! What an utterly fabulous deal I have goin' here! I'm not a proper vamp any more, thanks to this and this." He alternately touched his head, then his heart. "My home is destroyed. My demon friends think I'm a soddin' traitor. The only human friends I have seem to have conveniently forgotten everything that happened over the summer now that Buffy is back. And the woman I love can't make up her bloody mind. Does she care for me, or hate me?!" Spike stood and stalked closer to Tara with each word. "There. Is. Nothing. Left. For. Me. Here."

Tara stumbled back in fear for a moment, then collected herself. She stood a little taller, attempting to appear braver than she felt. "Well, you have me, and...I-I..." She swallowed involuntarily, her throat dry with nervousness. "I need your help."

Spike backed off a bit, almost bewildered. "You? Need me? Ha! That's a bloody laugh."

She did not falter. "I think Willow's been using magick. And I don't mean here and there. I suspect she's been doing it constantly ever since the car wreck."

Spike's eyebrows came together as he looked at her with doubt. "No, Wicca. I've watched her. She avoids the Magic Box. There's no paraphernalia in the house. Heck, she takes forever to do the simplest things. She is definitely not using magick."

Tara's expression fell deadly serious. "Or, maybe that's just what she wants you to see."

"Come again?"

"I spent a lot of time with her at the wedding. Something just felt...off. Her aura is dark, and I feel power all about her."

The seriousness of the situation began to sink in. "Damn." Spike's previous attitude changed to thoughtful consideration as his eyes narrowed.

"But that's not all. Everyone...all of you, you're..."

Her hesitancy made him nervous. "We're what?"

"Tainted. Err...manipulated somehow."

"What are you sayin' here, Witch?"

"I don't know. That's why I came here. I need you, Spike. I can't ask any of them. They're too close to her. Will you help me?"

The blonde man considered her plea for help with the Scooby Gang, then responded with ill timed self-pity. "You sure I'm not too despicable for the likes of you? After all, I'm just a useless thing, incapable of love or caring, right? I'm nothing." He finished with his head hung in silent defeat.

"Since when did you care what Xander says about you?"

Her question smacked Spike right in the gut. It was so innocent and full of ignorance. "It wasn't the Whelp who told me that. It was Buffy."

Tara put a hand on his shoulder. "Well, things have changed, haven't they?" Still so naive. Her cheerfulness would have been quite contagious had the words rung true.

Spike looked at her and gently put her straight, "She said it just this week, Tara." His eyes turned toward the ground.

It took Tara a few moments to understand. Her friend, the one who had stood up for Tara when she had no real reason to, the one who had befriended her under quite unusual circumstances, was sleeping with a man whom she insulted in this manner? It didn't seem right. It didn't seem like Buffy to say such horrible, hateful things to anyone, let alone a man she so obviously had some sort of feelings for. "All the more reason for us to fix this, Spike. She...she talked to me a bit ago. Told me about you and her. You know, she…"

Spike was stunned. "She told you?!"

"Um, yeah. Is that...should I not have mentioned it to you? Oh dear, I..."

"No, no. I just can't believe that she told someone." Spike ran his fingers through his hair.

"She doesn't hate you, you know."

"Could have fooled me, luv."

"I don't think she knows exactly how she feels about you, but she surely doesn't believe those things she said to you." Tara gently turned his face to look at hers. "Something is wrong...with everyone. And you and I are gonna fix it."

Spike looked at Tara thankfully and then grinned at her, his first real grin in a long, long time.


"I know we've discussed this a million times, but I just feel wrong doing this, Will. I mean, what if she comes back and thinks we've invaded her privacy…or her space…or her money?"

"Xander, calm down. This store is her pride and joy. How do you think she'll feel if we just let it - slip away? She needs to know that we all care about her." Willow reached up and placed a few green orbs with red ribbons of color woven throughout it on the higher shelf. "Besides, it can only score you brownie points, right? Show her that you aren't a complete jerk."

Xander looked up from the stack of books with a hard, nasty look upon his face. "Thanks so much, oh friend of mine."

"Hey. Just sayin'."

"Yeah, well…" His face fell like a failed cake. "I deserved that. Willow, I miss her so much. What the hell was I thinking? She'll never take me back, and I'll be stuck for the rest of my life eating peas out of the can and crying over long distance commercials. I'll never see her smile at me when she tells a dumb joke, I'll never hear her screech at a bunny hopping in the yard, I'll never feel her warm arms around my waist, I'll never..."

"Will you cut it out already?! I'm so sick and tired of hearing you whine."


Xander set "Demon Hunting for Dummies" back on the stack and stared in disbelief at his best friend. "What?"

"You heard me, 'Mr. My Problems Are More Important Than the Rest of the World's'. Suck it up and get over it already."

"Willow, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Just go back to stacking those books that you are too illiterate to read, and keep complaining that you were too much of a pussy to marry Anya. Please."

"Listen. I don't know where you get off talking to me that way, but I gotta tell yah..."

"**Oblivio!!**" Willow gestured grandly toward Xander with her outstretched arms. Xander staggered back a few feet, then fell to his knees. Willow barely cast a glance over at him, as he wiped his eyes and groggily stood up. "Wh-what was I saying?"

"You were telling me how you found this neat thing on the work site yesterday."

"I was?" He contemplated his memory for a brief second, then continued. "I was. Anyhow, it reminded me totally of something Anya would want me to buy for her. All gaudy and useless. I can't believe I almost married that gold digger. A good six months is all that marriage would have lasted. I mean, can you actually see me trying to please her? Nothing was ever good enough for her. Nothing I ever did made her happy."

Willow nonchalantly held out her hand toward Xander. "Xan? Hand me that talisman behind you there."

"Sure." He quickly grabbed the item and continued at he carried it over to her. "Wow. Dumping Anya? Best choice I ever made in my life."


"...then you grab her, and I put the whammy on her, so to speak."

"You better be sure about this, girl. I don't want to end up dust just because Red has a wire loose in 'er gulliver."

Tara smiled gently and patted his slumped shoulder. "No worries, Spike. I got your back."

"It's not my back that I'm worried about."


The afternoon had been quite productive. Dawn had come home the day before, long after school was out, bereft of books or papers. That evening's conversation consisted of Buffy asking many questions, including, "Where have you been?" "Do you know what time it is?" "Do you want to live in a foster home?" "Do you hate me that much?" Dawn's answers were all the same: a disinterested grunt and shoulder shrug.

But things were better today. Both sisters seemed to have their heads on straight. Buffy calmly discussed and Dawn willingly participated, and even apologized for past transgressions. The session ended in a tight hug and promises all around to always be there for each other, no matter what. The elder had even brought up the idea of having Spike help tutor the younger for a short while, just until she was caught up with her missed schoolwork. This, of course, led to a great big smile and a hug from the little one, who had been missing her dear friend from the summer.

In a renewed sisterly camaraderie, they had walked together toward the infamous crypt and it's even more infamous resident.

As they got closer, they could hear a voice. 'No doubt talking to himself again. He really needs to get a dog,' Buffy thought to herself. But it was not his British voice which lofted out from inside, as they soon found out. It was most definitely Willow's.

"Adsumo imperium claro..."

Dawn and Buffy looked questioningly at each other before pushing open the stone door to reveal a red head kneeling on the floor over a cauldron. There was a circle cast around her and candles burning. The smell of incense hung heavy in the air. Just as Buffy opened her mouth to say, "What the fu..."

Willow's immediately looked up from her work, eyes glowing a deep crimson.

The witch muttered under her breath, "Shit. Not again." Then, instantly, she flung her arm toward the sisters, leaving a trail of glowing ash. "*Absentis*!!" she pronounced. A cloud of red smoke swirled in a tight pattern where the two once stood. Willow was once again alone.

**********

Buffy and Dawn looked at their surroundings. Downtown Sunnydale. How had they gotten there? The last thing they remembered was...well, they couldn't quite figure that out. But one thing was for certain. It had to be the other's fault.

"You know. This is all your fault!" snapped Dawn, glaring at her older sister.

"My fault? You're the one who can't seem to come home on time! What are you doing instead of your schoolwork, Dawnie?! Huh? It must be terribly important, because I sure as hell am not important to you!" Buffy was instantaneously furious with her sister.

"Oh, look who's talking. The queen of disappearing acts. Why don't you just…disappear…and leave me alone! You're never there for me anyhow!"

The sisters turned away from each other and stomped off in different directions, each mumbling obscenities under their breaths.


"First thing is to find her." Tara leaned in conspiratorially, "And that's the easy part."

Scrying for a location was one of the first things Tara had mastered. But, until hooking up with the Scoobies, she had never found a real use for it. Finding where the pizza delivery guy was just didn't seem too exciting. Sure, it let you know if your pie was close to being delivered, but as far as using the power of the supernatural, it left a lot to be desired.

"And she is…right...here." Tara sat up straighter, a look of pride on her face.

"Very nice. And where might that be?"

"Um...it looks like the middle of nowhere. An all..." Suddenly, Tara's eyes widened as understanding crossed her face. She looked at Spike, the pain coming across loud and clear. "An alleyway. Just the right area for Rack's place."

In a Williamesque move, Spike tilted his head to the side and touched her back. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Tara."

She pushed aside her impulse to let it all out in tears. "Thank you." But, then her eyes hardened almost imperceptibly. "Now, let's get this done."


"You know, Jonathan, I didn't intend for things to go this way. I just wanted us to feel special, you know. To finally do something with our intelligence for once, other than not-dazzle the chicks. Then, I wasn't acting myself and I had all these angry emotions that came from nowhere." Warren hung his head and shook it slightly. "I don't want things like that anymore."

Warren's gentle manner almost worried Jonathan. He hadn't seen his friend act this way since the beginning of the whole fiasco. Whatever it was that happened to his friend, it was good news. The short man gave a comfortable smile, happy that maybe now things could go back to normal. "I know. But it all spiraled out of control with that girlfriend of yours. I wish we could go back to before."

"I'm right with you there, little buddy." Warren clapped him on the back. "Let's go see what Andrew's found out about the vampire's chip, alright?"

"Yeah."

**************

"That's right, little girl. Let go. Feel the power infuse through your every cell. You're such a beautiful soul. You taste so good."

Willow was suspended above the floor in a recumbent position, eyes closed, yet she could see all too well. The swirling colors representing the emotions of all the residents of Sunnydale, the music permeating her mind that represented the power influx she got from Rack: all of it was so intoxicating.

But then, the violation began. He knew she hated this part, but in his estimation, it had to be. In fact, her violent distaste of the "practice" was of great use to the old magician. Without it, she would become too powerful and one day overcome Rack's teachings. He had to make certain he always maintained his control over her. He had to make sure she was always his, in body and soul.

Her eyes opened to see his face above hers, and their clothes melting away like ice cream on a summer day. This time, she wasn't sure which came first: the penetration, or her screams.

*************

Jonathan had started off toward Andrew before Warren. He was feeling much better about the whole situation. It was all a big misunderstanding, brought about by fear and panic. Everything would be okay now. They were once again the formidable team that had formed just months ago.

But just as a smile crept to his face, he felt a stabbing pain in his back. He looked down to see the tip of a replica Klingon Bath'leth, covered in blood, protruding from his chest. The last thing he heard, aside from the sound of his body hitting the floor, was Warren's voice.

"I told you not to betray us."


"You do know that if we hadn't scryed for it, we'd never have found this place."

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm a vampire. Dark creature of the night. I could have found it in 5 minutes." Off of Tara's look of disbelief: "A half hour tops."

She folded her arms across her chest and looked at him skeptically. "Yeah. Deep, dark, evil creature. Do you actually manage to convince yourself of that? If so, you really need to work on getting in touch with who you really are."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, please. You're no more evil than I am."

"Am so."

"Are not."

"Am so."

"Here. Bite me." Tara presented her arm. "Just take me right here and now."

Spike's eyebrows grew closer to each other as he tried to understand what Tara was trying to do.

"You know I can't."

"You can if I let you."

The vampire felt a bit off balance by Tara's odd deportment...not quite sure where this was leading. "I would...but I don't feel like it at the moment."

"Chicken."

"I'm not chicken, I'm just...not in the mood. We're on business here, witch. You know, find the girl, bring her back to soddin' reality. I'll take you up on the snack later."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Spike's a big Goody Two Shoes," Tara sang.

He shot her a look. When she raised her eyes to his, she saw his forehead sporting lumps and his fangs protruding from the corners of his mouth.

"You don't scare me."

He pointed up at his game face. "You know, there was a time you'd run screaming from this."

"Yeah, like when? In your dreams?"

"You know, I used to like you."

"Still do."

"Do not."


"This has to be it." Tara held up her hand, feeling a powerful, evil wave come from the deserted alley.

"You sure?" Spike raised his hand in the same fashion, but just shrugged.

"Yes, Spike. I'd know that sensation anywhere. It's Willow. She's not in a good place right now, mentally, or physically."

Tara raised both hands to the hidden doorway and announced: "Patefacio!"

It opened. They stepped inside.


"Are you getting the vibe that we're in a dentist's office?" Tara scrunched up her face, obviously in remembrance of some traumatic dentist-event.

"No. Vampires don't need dentists."

"Right."

They looked around warily, taking in the "customers" throughout the waiting room. Each sat in a peculiar fashion, most of them balled up in a chair, and all of them trembling. It reminded Tara of the anti-drug presentations from grade school.

"It looks a bit like a Hell dimension, though." Spike offered. Tara interrupted her survey of the area and looked at him questioningly. "You know, waiting for something dark and mysterious, forced to read out of date Readers' Digests?"

"What do you know about Readers' Digest magazine?"

"I know plenty, missy."

She rolled her eyes.

"So, that must be it." Tara motioned toward the wooden door. "Are you ready?"

"Always, luv."

Tara pulled a bag of herbs from her pocket, then mentally recreated the spell she had hastily committed to memory. As per their plan, she hid behind the vampire when he busted through the door. A couple members of the waiting room started after them in irritation, but quickly sat down, lacking the energy to do anything to stop them.

Upon entering the room, a terrible scene lay before them, but neither could let the shock of seeing Willow being violated deter them from the plan.

Rack, still on top of Willow, heard the splintering of wood and a loud, male voice yelling, "Surprise!" before he even saw his pale deliverer of doom.

"**Desist**!"

At Tara's command, the two levitating beings fell to the ground and Rack found himself flung to the opposite side of the room. Before he could react to the unexpected intrusion, the blindingly blonde trespasser had restrained Rack's valuable red-headed subject. A small, feminine, but powerful voice had come from behind the man and his captive...however, everything happened so quickly, he had no time to ascertain who else was in the room.

With a swift recitation of Latin and a sprinkling of herb mixture, the voice, the blonde and the witch were gone.

The plan had worked perfectly. Rack had never even seen Tara enter the room, much less have the ability to interfere with the relocation spell. Score one for the Good-Guys.


"What the Hell do you think you are doing?! Who do you think you are?"

Spike dared not move a muscle. He liked his body how it was: magick-free and intact. Therefore, he kept a good, tight hold on her arms from behind.

Willow instantly uttered an incantation in Latin and attempted to raise her arms, but, to her dismay, nothing happened. She tried again and again, until the desperation was clearly evident upon her face.

"What did you do?"

At that moment, Tara circled out from behind Spike, and presented herself before Willow, her demeanor none too happy. "I knew it, you know. I knew something didn't feel right. You promised me you were staying away from magick. I had hoped you could clean yourself up and we would be happy together."

"Who are you to tell me how to live my life? You are just a lowly little creature with no hope of ever having power comparable to mine." The hatred upon her former lover's face frightened Tara. Had Willow always been so cold and callous, or was it her addiction that had turned her into a power-hungry monster? She desperately wished for the latter, hoping that Willow hadn't been using magick on her all that time to hide her true nature.

"I was your friend and lover. Doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?" Tara hung her head, the tears stinging her eyes.

Willow just released an evil and mocking laugh. "I've transcended that, my dear girl. I realized you…all of you…are nothing. You're insignificant. Buffy is just a confused girl, trying to act like a woman." She turned her attention over her shoulder to Spike. "You are just a vampire-puppy in love with his natural enemy. And Xander? He's a loser who will never have a single chance for happiness in this world."

Tara slowly raised her head and looked her former lover in the eye. Tears were streaming down her face, as she tried with all her might to hold back the weeping over her loss. "And me, Willow? What am I to you?"

"No one."

Each of them stood in silent contemplation. Spike yearned to offer some sort of comfort for poor Tara, but he could not move. His job was to protect her from Willow. At least he could do that much.

"S-so, what you've doing to the people around you...y-y-you did it on purpose." Tara had just about lost all hope for her lovely friend and couldn't even bare to look her in the eye. When had it all gone so wrong? How could such a gentle, sweet girl turn into such a monster?

Willow looked at her in disgust. "Did what on purpose?"

Tara just barely looked up at Willow's expression. "Th-their emotions. Y-y-you know, everyone has been acting s-so violent and hateful." She knitted her eyebrows together in confusion.

Willow just stared at Tara, not knowing to what she was referring. But it was Spike who intervened. "You didn't do it, did you?"

"Once again, DID WHAT?"

Spike glanced over at Tara, who was moving her lips in a silent conversation with herself. Eventually, her head nodded up and down in agreement to the conclusion she had reached. "She...she's innocent." Tara shook her head, but maintained a blank, far away stare in her eyes. "No, not innocent. She's certainly been using black magick for sometime now. It's just the consequences that we're seeing. In order to look like regular, old Willow to us, all that hate, anger and negative stuff had to go somewhere." She stopped talking to look into Spike's face. He was beginning to understand. Meanwhile, Willow stood still, almost bored.

"So, you're tellin' me that the way Buffy's been acting is all some sort of residue from Willow's spell casting?"

"Exactly." Tara responded a bit saddened. "And she'll never stop now. Just look what she subjects herself to at Racks..." Tara paused to control her gag reflex. "...just for her 'fix'."

Willow snapped out of her boredom and stared daggers at Tara. "Just let me go. I know what I'm doing."

The blonde witch turned her back on the red headed one and sighed just before the tears began anew. "No, Will. You don't have the slightest idea what you're doing to yourself and those who love you."

Willow continued. "What else can you do? You can't keep me prisoner!"


"You know we can't let her go, right, pet?" Spike tilted his head and spoke very gently.

"Yeah. I know."

Moments of silence passed.

"So, what is it to be then?"

"I…I…" Tara sniffed. "I guess this."

She approached Willow one last time, gazing upon her once beautiful face. "I won't forget you. Goodbye."

"Goodbye? What do you mean, goodbye?" Spike questioned.

Dispiritedly, Tara waved her arms and spoke one last word before breaking down into tears on the floor: "Reverto."

In typical supernatural display, the room lit up, the air itself sizzling with sound. Spike, flung backward into the wall, shielded his eyes until the blast had subsided, then looked up at the cloud that obscured his view of Willow. From his left, he could hear Tara sobbing uncontrollably. He strained his eyes to see exactly what it was that Tara had done to the girl. Was she gone? Was she dead? Certainly the Witch wouldn't have done anything violent to her ex-lover...would she?

After what seemed like minutes, but in reality was mere seconds, the smoke cleared and he could make out the dark shadow of a human form. Good. That was good. She was still there. Tara hadn't done anything too drastic. But then, why the tears?

Finally, the cloud subsided, and before him stood a shy being with modest clothes, and a natural red tone to her hair. The figure coughed a bit, then squinted to see what was before her. "Spike? Where am I?" Her eyes flitted around the room as she moved as far away from the vampire as she could. "What did you do to me? Did you decide you want that spell after all?"

He could feel the fear radiate from her in waves. This was not the Willow of a few minutes ago. "Tara, what's going on?" Spike asked without taking his eyes off the girl before him.

Tara's form caught her attention. "Are you a vampire too?" Willow asked of the unfamiliar female in front of her.

Tara wiped her face with her sleeve and reluctantly raised her head. "No. I-I-I'm not."

"Wait. You don't know who this is?" Spike inquired of Willow.

The red head shook her head, as Tara dropped hers. "I…I made her as she was
before...before..." She burst into tears again. Spike rushed toward her and held her in his arms.

"What do you mean? What's wrong?"

"I p-p-ut her back as s-s-he was -- before m-m-me."

"Before you?" Spike didn't like the sound of that.

"She's the s-s-same person she was b-b-before her magick became so strong. She doesn't remember any of it. N-n-n-not a thing."

Suddenly, he understood the full impact of the spell. Willow would not remember any of it: her advancing powers, resurrecting her best friend, falling in love with Tara. She wouldn't even remember who Tara was. How would she deal with that?

They stood there quietly holding each other until Tara finally spoke softly into Spike's chest. "Y-you'll w-watch her, right, S-S-Spike? Be s-s-sure she doesn't do i-it again? Doesn't t-t-urn out the same?"

"Yeah, luv. I will."

Concluded in the epilogue