Title: Stay Anyway 11/?
Author: Amber (Ambino1111@prodigy.net)
Disclaimers & other notes in Part 1
Previously, in Stay Anyway.
Part 1.
. Josh and I are working our butts off on the latest Health Care Package, an amendment to H.R. 206.
. The President, CJ, Toby, and Charlie are in China until Monday evening.
. Josh lets out a snort. He wiggles his index finger in my direction. "You
were engaged to this woman, you haven't seen her in years, and all you can
say is 'she got a haircut'?" "Well, she did," I defend, looking down at my hands briefly. "That, and a baby."
Part 2.
. I can remember Sam leaving as if it were yesterday, yet... it's been over three years and, at times, seems decades longer.
. She shifts in her seat suddenly and thrusts a manicured hand in my direction. "I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Donnatella Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant." I chortle in amused sympathy, which causes Donna to grin. "I somehow doubt Josh's personality has changed much in three years." I pause. "You're a very brave woman."
. The door opens again and I sigh. Gathering my courage I stand, ready to face my ex-fiancee.
Part 3.
. Lisa and I are staring at each other, and Donna coughs slightly, backing into the Roosevelt Room. "I'll be in here, if you, uh, well, we'll be here." Then she's gone, and it's just Lisa and me... and Alex.
. Why does politics always come between Lisa and me?
Part 4.
. His face brightens and he smiles one of his killer smiles. I always loved his perfect white teeth, and it has nothing to do with professional appreciation.
. "I - I... we... why does everyone think we should date? Donna is my friend and a fine assistant, and we are both professionals."
. "You can both be professionals and be in love," I tell him truthfully. He doesn't meet my eyes.
. My body tenses immediately. "Sam, I don't want to do this right now," My voice carries with it a silent plea. Sam either misses or ignores it. "Lisa, please. I think we need to talk about it."
. Then Sam coughs and the spell is broken, and he leads the way to Josh's office.
Part 5.
. I stand up, more furious than I should be but unable to help it. "No. You know what? No! We're not getting into this. I know you mean well, but frankly, this is none of your goddamn business. Yes, I was engaged to Lisa, but that was before the campaign and has no relevance to anything. And unless I express them verbally, my thoughts and feelings are mine and mine alone. I'm sick and tired of being 'Poor Little Innocent Sam' whose life's purpose is to amuse the White House Staff with tales of his misadventures.
. Oh great. This is fitting; this is perfect. I take it back - the last thing I want to do right now is talk to Lisa.
. "Oh, Sam," Lisa sighs. I look up at her as she gestures vaguely with her left hand. "This - this was never supposed to happen; this wasn't supposed to be us... How did we get here?"
Part 6.
. I'm standing still, staring at this man in a most unprofessional manner but unable to stop. I never believed in love at first sight, but... "Uh, I'm Sam Seaborn. I have an eleven-thirty appointment to fill some cavities?" He sounds like he's trying to jog my memory, and he has.
. He laughs, and I can tell that despite his cavity problems he has a terrific smile. I wonder if he uses whitening toothpaste...?
. "I thed, 'ow woo fwee Fwiday night foh dinnah?'" I feel Helen's eyes boring a hole into the side of my head as I force my brain to respond coherently. "Y-yes. Yes, I am."
Part 7.
. "It's not lying; it's misdirection," Josh insists. "No wonder you're a politician," I mutter playfully. I can almost see his grin. "You're going to be here to help me, right? You're flying in on Thursday?"
. "Hi, Lisa," I say, walking up to her while discreetly tucking the paper in my back jeans pocket. She raises her eyebrows at my apparently _in_discreet actions, and I answer her unasked question with a kiss.
. She's going to love her surprise party.
Part 8.
. So why does my mind torment me so? If I _know_ that Sam is faithful, then why does my stupid, annoying, doubtful brain keep pointing out clues?
. It's 7:00 on Thursday, and I'm about to confront the woman with whom Sam has been cheating on me. What could I possibly be thinking?
. Sam's having an affair with a man?
. I have never felt so horrible in my entire life.
Part 9.
. Finally, I turn around and follow her gaze to see what has shocked her. All I can see is my best friend, Josh Lyman.
. I take a breath, trying to calm my nerves. Why is my heart racing? Why am I feeling so... angry? So... jealous? I have no reason to be.
. I grab him by the collar and pull him towards me. I'm out of control, but, for some reason, I can't stop myself.
. I watch the doors slide shut and sigh. Then I spin around and punch the wall as hard as I can with my fist.
Part 10.
. If Josh didn't tell him about the hotel, then why was Sam bleeding? Sam's never been the aggressive type. What exactly _did_ he tell him?
. "I don't even know what to think, Lisa... your face... You should have seen your face when you saw him. I thought... I was afraid I'd lost you."
. "We were both stupid and insecure and admitted our mistakes. So, let's move on." "Just like that?" Why am I looking the gift horse in the mouth?
. Somehow I doubt the problem will go away so easily.
*****
"Many promising reconciliations have broken down because, while both parties came prepared to forgive, neither party came prepared to be forgiven."
- Charles Williams
*****
"Listen, Lisa," I say gently, standing and walking around my desk. "Yeah, I don't think this is the time or the place. It was great seeing you, though. It really was. I - I know it's late and you'd like to get Alex in his bed-"
"I'm moving here."
"Well, not _his_ bed, but the bed at the hotel - What?!?"
"I wasn't sure if I should tell you," She admits, looking at her hands. The idea pops into my mind that she's a kid in the Principal's office. I banish it with a shake of my head.
"Why? Why wouldn't you want to tell me?"
"Well - and keeping in mind you're not supposed to be here this weekend - I thought the city was big enough that I could avoid you."
"Forever?"
"If need be," She defends with a slight smile. "Okay, so now I realize it wasn't an airtight plan."
"Do you really hate me that much?"
I've stunned her into silence. A myriad of emotions is weaving its way onto her face. Somehow, it makes her look younger, more alive.
She stands and turns to face me. "Sam - I don't hate you at all. At all. I might have been... _angry_ with you when we broke up, but never... I could never hate you."
I take a step closer to her. My heart starts beating faster. "Then why-"
"Sam..." She trails off. Acting on pure instinct, I lean forward to kiss her. At the last second she backs up, foiling my attempt. I stand straight and try to appear nonchalant. Seriously, who am I fooling?
"When are you moving here?"
"T-two weeks," She looks worried. Petrified even. "I'm - I'm leaving on Tuesday and coming back again in two weeks."
"Have you got a place yet?"
"Y-yes. It won't - it won't be ready for three weeks, but I'm just going to stay at a hotel until then. Not that that's important or anything, I mean, why would you care what I'm doing in three weeks, right? I shouldn't have even said anything, it doesn't really matter."
I love it when she babbles.
"You're babbling, Lisa," I whisper, unable to hide my smile.
"I know."
We stare at each other for another moment before she dusts imaginary lint off her shirt. "Sam, I would like it if we could be friends."
My heart leaps, then collapses when I realize the actual meaning behind her words. "Oh."
She sticks her hand out towards me. "Friends?"
I warily shake the proffered hand. It's better than nothing. "Sure. I mean, of course. Why not? It'll be great. Really. Friends. Great."
"You're babbling, Sam," She smirks, shifting her purse on her shoulder.
"I know."
"Well, I should get going. It really _was_ great seeing you again."
I follow her out of the office. "Yes, and I'm glad I got to meet Alex."
When we find ourselves outside of Josh's office, I reach out and put my hand on her arm.
"You know what?" I inquire quietly. She looks up at me, curiosity in her emerald eyes.
"What?"
"I was just thinking... hotels are really expensive around here, you know, so, uh... if you'd want, 'cause I know you probably need to be saving money - I mean, who doesn't? - but, if you'd want..."
"Yeah...?"
"If you'd, uh, want to - you and Alex could stay with me. At my apartment. You know, for the week. It's the least I can do."
I detect the hint of a smile as I stutter through my offer.
"I don't know, Sam..." She trails off, deep in thought. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"C'mon," Suddenly, it's become necessary for me to convince her of the brilliance of my plan. "I bet that the institution is expensive, and you'll be switching jobs, and getting a new place. Are you telling me you have extra income to be spending?"
"Well, no, but... I don't want to impose-"
"Don't be silly!" I insist with a smile. "I'm hardly ever home anyway."
She's thoroughly weighing her options, but, from the look in her eyes, I can tell she's caving.
"As an added bonus, I'll let you two have the bed. And I still have that really soft comforter," I've finally won her over to my side. She smiles warmly at me, and my insides flip-flop.
"Let me think about it."
Well, it isn't a flat out 'no.'
She opens the door to Josh's office and enters. I follow behind her, quietly watching as she tries to move Alex without waking him. Amazingly, she's successful, and I study his sleeping form in his stroller as Lisa gathers their belongings. He really is quite adorable, so peaceful and innocent. He looks so much like Lisa, it's uncanny. I wonder idly who his father is, and if he's smart, or good-looking, or kind. For all I know, he could be Republican!
I can't even imagine growing up without a father. Even though mine was a dirty, lying, cheating s.o.b., he was there during my childhood. We used to go camping, and hiking, and sailing, and play baseball. Poor Alexander might not get a chance to do any of that. My heart goes out to the dozing toddler.
"I'm gonna get going now, Sam," Lisa announces, her voice hushed. I follow her back into the hallway.
"Wait!" I exclaim abruptly. She jumps a mile at my outburst, then turns around.
"What now?"
I pat down my pockets until I find what I'm looking for. "Here. It's my card, with my phone number. Give me a call before you come back in two weeks."
She nods and accepts the card, tucking it into her purse. She gives a little wave and disappears around the corner. I lean against the wall, reflecting on the night's events. Somehow, this has turned out much differently than I originally expected.
TBC
Author: Amber (Ambino1111@prodigy.net)
Disclaimers & other notes in Part 1
Previously, in Stay Anyway.
Part 1.
. Josh and I are working our butts off on the latest Health Care Package, an amendment to H.R. 206.
. The President, CJ, Toby, and Charlie are in China until Monday evening.
. Josh lets out a snort. He wiggles his index finger in my direction. "You
were engaged to this woman, you haven't seen her in years, and all you can
say is 'she got a haircut'?" "Well, she did," I defend, looking down at my hands briefly. "That, and a baby."
Part 2.
. I can remember Sam leaving as if it were yesterday, yet... it's been over three years and, at times, seems decades longer.
. She shifts in her seat suddenly and thrusts a manicured hand in my direction. "I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Donnatella Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant." I chortle in amused sympathy, which causes Donna to grin. "I somehow doubt Josh's personality has changed much in three years." I pause. "You're a very brave woman."
. The door opens again and I sigh. Gathering my courage I stand, ready to face my ex-fiancee.
Part 3.
. Lisa and I are staring at each other, and Donna coughs slightly, backing into the Roosevelt Room. "I'll be in here, if you, uh, well, we'll be here." Then she's gone, and it's just Lisa and me... and Alex.
. Why does politics always come between Lisa and me?
Part 4.
. His face brightens and he smiles one of his killer smiles. I always loved his perfect white teeth, and it has nothing to do with professional appreciation.
. "I - I... we... why does everyone think we should date? Donna is my friend and a fine assistant, and we are both professionals."
. "You can both be professionals and be in love," I tell him truthfully. He doesn't meet my eyes.
. My body tenses immediately. "Sam, I don't want to do this right now," My voice carries with it a silent plea. Sam either misses or ignores it. "Lisa, please. I think we need to talk about it."
. Then Sam coughs and the spell is broken, and he leads the way to Josh's office.
Part 5.
. I stand up, more furious than I should be but unable to help it. "No. You know what? No! We're not getting into this. I know you mean well, but frankly, this is none of your goddamn business. Yes, I was engaged to Lisa, but that was before the campaign and has no relevance to anything. And unless I express them verbally, my thoughts and feelings are mine and mine alone. I'm sick and tired of being 'Poor Little Innocent Sam' whose life's purpose is to amuse the White House Staff with tales of his misadventures.
. Oh great. This is fitting; this is perfect. I take it back - the last thing I want to do right now is talk to Lisa.
. "Oh, Sam," Lisa sighs. I look up at her as she gestures vaguely with her left hand. "This - this was never supposed to happen; this wasn't supposed to be us... How did we get here?"
Part 6.
. I'm standing still, staring at this man in a most unprofessional manner but unable to stop. I never believed in love at first sight, but... "Uh, I'm Sam Seaborn. I have an eleven-thirty appointment to fill some cavities?" He sounds like he's trying to jog my memory, and he has.
. He laughs, and I can tell that despite his cavity problems he has a terrific smile. I wonder if he uses whitening toothpaste...?
. "I thed, 'ow woo fwee Fwiday night foh dinnah?'" I feel Helen's eyes boring a hole into the side of my head as I force my brain to respond coherently. "Y-yes. Yes, I am."
Part 7.
. "It's not lying; it's misdirection," Josh insists. "No wonder you're a politician," I mutter playfully. I can almost see his grin. "You're going to be here to help me, right? You're flying in on Thursday?"
. "Hi, Lisa," I say, walking up to her while discreetly tucking the paper in my back jeans pocket. She raises her eyebrows at my apparently _in_discreet actions, and I answer her unasked question with a kiss.
. She's going to love her surprise party.
Part 8.
. So why does my mind torment me so? If I _know_ that Sam is faithful, then why does my stupid, annoying, doubtful brain keep pointing out clues?
. It's 7:00 on Thursday, and I'm about to confront the woman with whom Sam has been cheating on me. What could I possibly be thinking?
. Sam's having an affair with a man?
. I have never felt so horrible in my entire life.
Part 9.
. Finally, I turn around and follow her gaze to see what has shocked her. All I can see is my best friend, Josh Lyman.
. I take a breath, trying to calm my nerves. Why is my heart racing? Why am I feeling so... angry? So... jealous? I have no reason to be.
. I grab him by the collar and pull him towards me. I'm out of control, but, for some reason, I can't stop myself.
. I watch the doors slide shut and sigh. Then I spin around and punch the wall as hard as I can with my fist.
Part 10.
. If Josh didn't tell him about the hotel, then why was Sam bleeding? Sam's never been the aggressive type. What exactly _did_ he tell him?
. "I don't even know what to think, Lisa... your face... You should have seen your face when you saw him. I thought... I was afraid I'd lost you."
. "We were both stupid and insecure and admitted our mistakes. So, let's move on." "Just like that?" Why am I looking the gift horse in the mouth?
. Somehow I doubt the problem will go away so easily.
*****
"Many promising reconciliations have broken down because, while both parties came prepared to forgive, neither party came prepared to be forgiven."
- Charles Williams
*****
"Listen, Lisa," I say gently, standing and walking around my desk. "Yeah, I don't think this is the time or the place. It was great seeing you, though. It really was. I - I know it's late and you'd like to get Alex in his bed-"
"I'm moving here."
"Well, not _his_ bed, but the bed at the hotel - What?!?"
"I wasn't sure if I should tell you," She admits, looking at her hands. The idea pops into my mind that she's a kid in the Principal's office. I banish it with a shake of my head.
"Why? Why wouldn't you want to tell me?"
"Well - and keeping in mind you're not supposed to be here this weekend - I thought the city was big enough that I could avoid you."
"Forever?"
"If need be," She defends with a slight smile. "Okay, so now I realize it wasn't an airtight plan."
"Do you really hate me that much?"
I've stunned her into silence. A myriad of emotions is weaving its way onto her face. Somehow, it makes her look younger, more alive.
She stands and turns to face me. "Sam - I don't hate you at all. At all. I might have been... _angry_ with you when we broke up, but never... I could never hate you."
I take a step closer to her. My heart starts beating faster. "Then why-"
"Sam..." She trails off. Acting on pure instinct, I lean forward to kiss her. At the last second she backs up, foiling my attempt. I stand straight and try to appear nonchalant. Seriously, who am I fooling?
"When are you moving here?"
"T-two weeks," She looks worried. Petrified even. "I'm - I'm leaving on Tuesday and coming back again in two weeks."
"Have you got a place yet?"
"Y-yes. It won't - it won't be ready for three weeks, but I'm just going to stay at a hotel until then. Not that that's important or anything, I mean, why would you care what I'm doing in three weeks, right? I shouldn't have even said anything, it doesn't really matter."
I love it when she babbles.
"You're babbling, Lisa," I whisper, unable to hide my smile.
"I know."
We stare at each other for another moment before she dusts imaginary lint off her shirt. "Sam, I would like it if we could be friends."
My heart leaps, then collapses when I realize the actual meaning behind her words. "Oh."
She sticks her hand out towards me. "Friends?"
I warily shake the proffered hand. It's better than nothing. "Sure. I mean, of course. Why not? It'll be great. Really. Friends. Great."
"You're babbling, Sam," She smirks, shifting her purse on her shoulder.
"I know."
"Well, I should get going. It really _was_ great seeing you again."
I follow her out of the office. "Yes, and I'm glad I got to meet Alex."
When we find ourselves outside of Josh's office, I reach out and put my hand on her arm.
"You know what?" I inquire quietly. She looks up at me, curiosity in her emerald eyes.
"What?"
"I was just thinking... hotels are really expensive around here, you know, so, uh... if you'd want, 'cause I know you probably need to be saving money - I mean, who doesn't? - but, if you'd want..."
"Yeah...?"
"If you'd, uh, want to - you and Alex could stay with me. At my apartment. You know, for the week. It's the least I can do."
I detect the hint of a smile as I stutter through my offer.
"I don't know, Sam..." She trails off, deep in thought. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"C'mon," Suddenly, it's become necessary for me to convince her of the brilliance of my plan. "I bet that the institution is expensive, and you'll be switching jobs, and getting a new place. Are you telling me you have extra income to be spending?"
"Well, no, but... I don't want to impose-"
"Don't be silly!" I insist with a smile. "I'm hardly ever home anyway."
She's thoroughly weighing her options, but, from the look in her eyes, I can tell she's caving.
"As an added bonus, I'll let you two have the bed. And I still have that really soft comforter," I've finally won her over to my side. She smiles warmly at me, and my insides flip-flop.
"Let me think about it."
Well, it isn't a flat out 'no.'
She opens the door to Josh's office and enters. I follow behind her, quietly watching as she tries to move Alex without waking him. Amazingly, she's successful, and I study his sleeping form in his stroller as Lisa gathers their belongings. He really is quite adorable, so peaceful and innocent. He looks so much like Lisa, it's uncanny. I wonder idly who his father is, and if he's smart, or good-looking, or kind. For all I know, he could be Republican!
I can't even imagine growing up without a father. Even though mine was a dirty, lying, cheating s.o.b., he was there during my childhood. We used to go camping, and hiking, and sailing, and play baseball. Poor Alexander might not get a chance to do any of that. My heart goes out to the dozing toddler.
"I'm gonna get going now, Sam," Lisa announces, her voice hushed. I follow her back into the hallway.
"Wait!" I exclaim abruptly. She jumps a mile at my outburst, then turns around.
"What now?"
I pat down my pockets until I find what I'm looking for. "Here. It's my card, with my phone number. Give me a call before you come back in two weeks."
She nods and accepts the card, tucking it into her purse. She gives a little wave and disappears around the corner. I lean against the wall, reflecting on the night's events. Somehow, this has turned out much differently than I originally expected.
TBC