Title: Stay Anyway 12/?

Author: Amber (Ambino1111@prodigy.net)

Disclaimers & other notes in Part 1

Previously, in Stay Anyway…

Part 1…

… Josh and I are working our butts off on the latest Health Care Package, an amendment to H.R. 206.

… The President, CJ, Toby, and Charlie are in China until Monday evening.

… Josh lets out a snort. He wiggles his index finger in my direction. "You

were engaged to this woman, you haven't seen her in years, and all you can

say is 'she got a haircut'?" "Well, she did," I defend, looking down at my hands briefly. "That, and a baby."

Part 2…

… I can remember Sam leaving as if it were yesterday, yet... it's been over three years and, at times, seems decades longer.

… She shifts in her seat suddenly and thrusts a manicured hand in my direction. "I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Donnatella Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant." I chortle in amused sympathy, which causes Donna to grin. "I somehow doubt Josh's personality has changed much in three years." I pause. "You're a very brave woman."

… The door opens again and I sigh. Gathering my courage I stand, ready to face my ex-fiancee.

Part 3…

… Lisa and I are staring at each other, and Donna coughs slightly, backing into the Roosevelt Room. "I'll be in here, if you, uh, well, we'll be here." Then she's gone, and it's just Lisa and me... and Alex.

… Why does politics always come between Lisa and me?

Part 4…

… His face brightens and he smiles one of his killer smiles. I always loved his perfect white teeth, and it has nothing to do with professional appreciation.

… "I - I... we... why does everyone think we should date? Donna is my friend and a fine assistant, and we are both professionals."

… "You can both be professionals and be in love," I tell him truthfully. He doesn't meet my eyes.

… My body tenses immediately. "Sam, I don't want to do this right now," My voice carries with it a silent plea. Sam either misses or ignores it. "Lisa, please. I think we need to talk about it."

… Then Sam coughs and the spell is broken, and he leads the way to Josh's office.

Part 5…

… I stand up, more furious than I should be but unable to help it. "No. You know what? No! We're not getting into this. I know you mean well, but frankly, this is none of your goddamn business. Yes, I was engaged to Lisa, but that was before the campaign and has no relevance to anything. And unless I express them verbally, my thoughts and feelings are mine and mine alone. I'm sick and tired of being 'Poor Little Innocent Sam' whose life's purpose is to amuse the White House Staff with tales of his misadventures.

… Oh great. This is fitting; this is perfect. I take it back - the last thing I want to do right now is talk to Lisa.

… "Oh, Sam," Lisa sighs. I look up at her as she gestures vaguely with her left hand. "This - this was never supposed to happen; this wasn't supposed to be us... How did we get here?"

Part 6…

… I'm standing still, staring at this man in a most unprofessional manner but unable to stop. I never believed in love at first sight, but... "Uh, I'm Sam Seaborn. I have an eleven-thirty appointment to fill some cavities?" He sounds like he's trying to jog my memory, and he has.

… He laughs, and I can tell that despite his cavity problems he has a terrific smile. I wonder if he uses whitening toothpaste...?

… "I thed, 'ow woo fwee Fwiday night foh dinnah?'" I feel Helen's eyes boring a hole into the side of my head as I force my brain to respond coherently. "Y-yes. Yes, I am."

Part 7…

… "It's not lying; it's misdirection," Josh insists. "No wonder you're a politician," I mutter playfully. I can almost see his grin. "You're going to be here to help me, right? You're flying in on Thursday?"

… "Hi, Lisa," I say, walking up to her while discreetly tucking the paper in my back jeans pocket. She raises her eyebrows at my apparently _in_discreet actions, and I answer her unasked question with a kiss.

… She's going to love her surprise party.

Part 8…

… So why does my mind torment me so? If I _know_ that Sam is faithful, then why does my stupid, annoying, doubtful brain keep pointing out clues?

… It's 7:00 on Thursday, and I'm about to confront the woman with whom Sam has been cheating on me. What could I possibly be thinking?

… Sam's having an affair with a man?

… I have never felt so horrible in my entire life.

Part 9…

… Finally, I turn around and follow her gaze to see what has shocked her. All I can see is my best friend, Josh Lyman.

… I take a breath, trying to calm my nerves. Why is my heart racing? Why am I feeling so... angry? So... jealous? I have no reason to be.

… I grab him by the collar and pull him towards me. I'm out of control, but, for some reason, I can't stop myself.

… I watch the doors slide shut and sigh. Then I spin around and punch the wall as hard as I can with my fist.

Part 10…

… If Josh didn't tell him about the hotel, then why was Sam bleeding? Sam's never been the aggressive type. What exactly _did_ he tell him?

… "I don't even know what to think, Lisa... your face... You should have seen your face when you saw him. I thought... I was afraid I'd lost you."

… "We were both stupid and insecure and admitted our mistakes. So, let's move on." "Just like that?" Why am I looking the gift horse in the mouth?

… Somehow I doubt the problem will go away so easily.

Part 11…

… "Listen, Lisa," I say gently, standing and walking around my desk. "Yeah, I don't think this is the time or the place. It was great seeing you, though. It really was. I - I know it's late and you'd like to get Alex in his bed-" "I'm moving here."

… She stands and turns to face me. "Sam - I don't hate you at all. At all. I might have been... _angry_ with you when we broke up, but never... I could never hate you."

… I lean forward to kiss her. At the last second she backs up, foiling my attempt.

… "If you'd, uh, want to - you and Alex could stay with me. At my apartment. You know, for the week. It's the least I can do."

… "Let me think about it." Well, it isn't a flat out 'no.'

*****

"Everything is more complicated than it seems."
--Murphy's Law

*****

"Donna, really, I just... no, I don't think it's a good idea. You understand, right?"

I sigh as I unravel a long stretch of tape and carefully apply it to the box in front of me. The moving van won't be here for another ten days, but I have an incredible amount of packing to do. With a black permanent marker, I scribble "Kitchen" on the top as Donna pleads her case.

"Lisa, he's going crazy!" She exclaims. "I mean, really. His brain is fried because of H.R. 206, and every fifteen minutes he calls or visits my desk to see if you've called," She pauses. "I'm not even Sam's secretary!"

"Donna, I don't know what you want me to say," I sigh and collapse into a nearby chair. Alex looks over at me from his spot on the floor. He smiles and waves one of his matchbox cars at me. I wave back. "I've been thinking a lot lately, and I've decided it's all for the best if I just avoid Sam for the next four or so years."

Donna lets out an exasperated breath. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't you want to see him?"

"Well… it's complicated."

"Why can't you at least call him and tell him that? I just - I don't understand why you're so against seeing him."

Donna and I have become close friends in the past two weeks, but I don't know if we're close enough for me to go into elaborate detail on this subject. Maybe later.

"I have my reasons."

"That's a bunch of crap."

"Yes, it is."

"And yet, that's all you're going to leave me with, isn't it?"

I can hear her smile through the phone, so I don't feel as bad as I might otherwise have. "Yup."

"Well, at least give me your address. I'll stop by and help you and Alex unpack."

"Uh… I don't know about that."

"You don't trust me?"

"Donna, you have to look at it from my perspective. You've known Sam much longer than you've known me, so you might be tempted to -"

"I promise I won't give him your address."

"Him who?"

"I promise I won't give Sam Seaborn your address,"

I think I can trust her. "I think I can trust you. Okay. You got a pen and paper?"

"I _am_ an assistant in the White House. I practically have a pad of paper and a pen stapled to my hand."

"All right then. Ready?"

"Uh huh."

I slowly relay my new address, happy that I've already memorized it. After her assurances that Sam was nowhere near her, Donna quietly repeats it back to me.

"And where are you going to be staying until the apartment is ready?"

I cringe at the smug motherly tone of her voice. She's got me, and she knows it.

"A hotel," I admit, not even bothering to appear nonchalant.

"Lisa, that's ridiculous! You told me yourself that Sam offered to let you stay with him. Even he has told me that much. And you still want to pay for a hotel?"

I sigh deeply and close my eyes, rubbing my left temple with my free hand. "The people that are buying my house gave me a down payment a few days ago - Alex and I will be fine."

I hear her cover the mouthpiece and say something, followed by what is unmistakably Josh's voice. She says something else before returning to our conversation.

"Sorry about that. Anyway, if you don't want to stay with him, then why don't you come stay with me? It will be fun, and you'll be saving money!"

I don't know about this latest development.

"Uhh…"

"Lisa, I promise I won't interfere with your 'relationship' with Sam."

"Did you just make quotation marks with your fingers?"

"… Maybe." Guilty as charged. "But, you have to admit it was warranted."

"I suppose."

We both lapse into silence for a few seconds. "You and Alex should stay with me."

"No, don't worry, Donna. We'll be fine."

"I insist! I'm hardly ever home anyway, what with my slave driver of a boss."

I chuckle along with her, considering my options. Despite my earlier assurances, I really don't have the money to be blowing on a week-long hotel stay. Still… I've only known Donna for two weeks- what if deep below her cheerful personality she's hiding murderous rage?

Oh, the things you worry about when you're a mother.

"All right," I decide with a shrug of my shoulders. "What the heck. It'll be fun."

"You bet your ass," Donna says. I can tell she's grinning.

"Promise you won't tell Sam I'm staying with you?" I hate myself for asking, but it's really for the best that he doesn't know.

"I still don't understand completely, but I promise. Not a word to Sam," Her voice drops in volume on the last word, and I hear a man's voice. My eyes widen. Oh great. His voice is unmistakable, but I can't recognize any of the words.

"Sam, I'm talking to my cousin," Donna states emphatically. "Her name is Eileen. She lives in Gurnee, Illinois, which is a two hour drive from Madison, Wisconsin, where I grew up."

I hold my breath in anticipation. Donna sounded pretty confident in her lie. I hope she didn't overdo it.

"No, she's married."

I laugh out loud at this, belatedly moving the phone away from my mouth. I'm dying to ask what exactly he said, but I'm still too afraid that Sam might hear me.

"Okay." Pause. "I'll let you know if Lisa calls."

I wait a moment longer before asking, "Is he gone?"

"Yes," Donna whispers into the phone.

"Then why are you whispering?" I whisper back.

"I don't know," She pauses, then resumes her normal volume. "So, that was a little odd."

"Yeah, it was. That's why he can't know. It'll be way too awkward for all of us, especially you."

"Fine. I mean, it's all right. I think I understand it a little now."

"Good."

"So, when can I expect and Alex?"

"Well, the movers are coming at nine on Monday, the twenty-second. They have to load everything and then we have to take it to the storage place. I want to see my dad, too, so I'd say… five? Five thirty?"

"Sounds terrific. I'll be home around five fifteen, so five thirty will be fine. I'll make something for dinner."

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"No, it's my pleasure. Now, all I have to do is convince Josh to let me leave early… well, earlier than the hours I usually get to go home."

"Why don't you tell him your cousin Eileen is visiting?" I offer jokingly.

"That's a good idea!"

"Wait - what?"

"That's a really good idea. It gives me an excuse to leave early all week without suspicion."

"No, really, it's not. It's a horrible idea. In fact, it's hardly an idea at all - I was joking."

"It doesn't matter. I still think it's a good idea."

"Decent, perhaps, but not good. No lies can ever be good."

"What?!?"

Donna's abrupt question disrupts our rhythm. It catches me off guard.

"Huh?"

"You just told me to lie. Well, not lie, but withhold the truth, which is essentially the same thing. So how can you denounce me for wanting to lie?"

My head is spinning. "That's not what I meant. I just… I don't want to get caught up in all these deceitful acts. Lies are not my friend."

Donna laughs, and I realize how much we resemble an episode of Three's Company.

"Well, I'm still going to tell Josh. He and Sam barely have time to talk, but I don't think it'll matter. They won't figure it out. Welcome to the family, cousin Eileen."

In spite of the circumstances, I find myself smiling. "Why, thank you. And you know what's really creepy? My family and I lived in Gurnee before we moved to Pennsylvania."

"That _is_ creepy," Donna decides. "We might've seen each other way back when."

"I was around eleven or twelve when we moved, so it's entirely possible we passed each other in the streets when you were visiting her."

"Mommy, pway wiff me?"

"Oh, he's so cute," Donna gushes. I grin.

"Thanks. I guess that's my cue to get off the phone. Thank you so much for everything, Donna. Really, I mean it."

I hand the phone to Alex. "Here, buddy, tell Donna thank you."

He takes the proffered phone and looks up at me for a moment. "Fank woo, Donna." He quickly gives it back.

"You're welcome," I hear Donna say. "Okay, I've got to go, Lisa."

"Thank you once again."

"Oh, stop it. It's no problem. Five thirty on the twenty-second?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there."

"Bye. I push the talk button and pull my son into my lap, cars and all.

"Are you ready to say goodbye to this house?"

He shakes his head.

I sigh. "Me neither."

We sit for a moment in one of the few pieces of furniture I plan on keeping - my mom's cushioned rocking chair - and I hug Alex to me, examining the disarrayed room. Just the thought of all the packing I have to do all week makes me want to cry.

I've spent many years here - at least half of my life. It's sad to know I won't ever be in here again. Even though I'm only halfway done with the packing, the house looks so strange. I've never seen it so big and… lifeless. It's not right.

I check my watch and maneuver us into a standing position, Alex and his cars in my arms.

"Okay, Alexander. Keep playing with your toys for a little longer, all right? Mommy has to do some packing so we can visit Grandpa and then Donna!"

"Yay!" Alex raises his arms and cheers, consequently dropping all of the toy cars on the wooden floor. The look of surprise on his face makes me giggle.

"It's okay, Alex," I place him on the floor. "Pick 'em up. They're all right."

While he is busily collecting his cars, I return to another stack of already-filled boxes. I know I should be depressed about the house, but I'm filled with nervous anticipation for the fresh start awaiting us. A new home, a new job, and new friends- essentially an entirely new life.

The only thing that's troubling me is the tiny desire in the back of my head for Sam Seaborn to be a part of that new life.

I sigh and rip off a strip of tape. This is going to be an incredibly difficult task.

TBC