Title: Stay Anyway 13/?

Author: Amber (Ambino1111@prodigy.net)

Disclaimer & other notes in Part 1

Previously, in Stay Anyway…

Part 1…

… Josh and I are working our butts off on the latest Health Care Package, an amendment to H.R. 206.

… The President, CJ, Toby, and Charlie are in China until Monday evening.

… Josh lets out a snort. He wiggles his index finger in my direction. "You

were engaged to this woman, you haven't seen her in years, and all you can

say is 'she got a haircut'?" "Well, she did," I defend, looking down at my hands briefly. "That, and a baby."

Part 2…

… I can remember Sam leaving as if it were yesterday, yet... it's been over three years and, at times, seems decades longer.

… She shifts in her seat suddenly and thrusts a manicured hand in my direction. "I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Donnatella Moss, Josh Lyman's assistant." I chortle in amused sympathy, which causes Donna to grin. "I somehow doubt Josh's personality has changed much in three years." I pause. "You're a very brave woman."

… The door opens again and I sigh. Gathering my courage I stand, ready to face my ex-fiancee.

Part 3…

… Lisa and I are staring at each other, and Donna coughs slightly, backing into the Roosevelt Room. "I'll be in here, if you, uh, well, we'll be here." Then she's gone, and it's just Lisa and me... and Alex.

… Why does politics always come between Lisa and me?

Part 4…

… His face brightens and he smiles one of his killer smiles. I always loved his perfect white teeth, and it has nothing to do with professional appreciation.

… "I - I... we... why does everyone think we should date? Donna is my friend and a fine assistant, and we are both professionals."

… "You can both be professionals and be in love," I tell him truthfully. He doesn't meet my eyes.

… My body tenses immediately. "Sam, I don't want to do this right now," My voice carries with it a silent plea. Sam either misses or ignores it. "Lisa, please. I think we need to talk about it."

… Then Sam coughs and the spell is broken, and he leads the way to Josh's office.

Part 5…

… I stand up, more furious than I should be but unable to help it. "No. You know what? No! We're not getting into this. I know you mean well, but frankly, this is none of your goddamn business. Yes, I was engaged to Lisa, but that was before the campaign and has no relevance to anything. And unless I express them verbally, my thoughts and feelings are mine and mine alone. I'm sick and tired of being 'Poor Little Innocent Sam' whose life's purpose is to amuse the White House Staff with tales of his misadventures.

… Oh great. This is fitting; this is perfect. I take it back - the last thing I want to do right now is talk to Lisa.

… "Oh, Sam," Lisa sighs. I look up at her as she gestures vaguely with her left hand. "This - this was never supposed to happen; this wasn't supposed to be us... How did we get here?"

Part 6…

… I'm standing still, staring at this man in a most unprofessional manner but unable to stop. I never believed in love at first sight, but... "Uh, I'm Sam Seaborn. I have an eleven-thirty appointment to fill some cavities?" He sounds like he's trying to jog my memory, and he has.

… He laughs, and I can tell that despite his cavity problems he has a terrific smile. I wonder if he uses whitening toothpaste...?

… "I thed, 'ow woo fwee Fwiday night foh dinnah?'" I feel Helen's eyes boring a hole into the side of my head as I force my brain to respond coherently. "Y-yes. Yes, I am."

Part 7…

… "It's not lying; it's misdirection," Josh insists. "No wonder you're a politician," I mutter playfully. I can almost see his grin. "You're going to be here to help me, right? You're flying in on Thursday?"

… "Hi, Lisa," I say, walking up to her while discreetly tucking the paper in my back jeans pocket. She raises her eyebrows at my apparently _in_discreet actions, and I answer her unasked question with a kiss.

… She's going to love her surprise party.

Part 8…

… So why does my mind torment me so? If I _know_ that Sam is faithful, then why does my stupid, annoying, doubtful brain keep pointing out clues?

… It's 7:00 on Thursday, and I'm about to confront the woman with whom Sam has been cheating on me. What could I possibly be thinking?

… Sam's having an affair with a man?

… I have never felt so horrible in my entire life.

Part 9…

… Finally, I turn around and follow her gaze to see what has shocked her. All I can see is my best friend, Josh Lyman.

… I take a breath, trying to calm my nerves. Why is my heart racing? Why am I feeling so... angry? So... jealous? I have no reason to be.

… I grab him by the collar and pull him towards me. I'm out of control, but, for some reason, I can't stop myself.

… I watch the doors slide shut and sigh. Then I spin around and punch the wall as hard as I can with my fist.

Part 10…

… If Josh didn't tell him about the hotel, then why was Sam bleeding? Sam's never been the aggressive type. What exactly _did_ he tell him?

… "I don't even know what to think, Lisa... your face... You should have seen your face when you saw him. I thought... I was afraid I'd lost you."

… "We were both stupid and insecure and admitted our mistakes. So, let's move on." "Just like that?" Why am I looking the gift horse in the mouth?

… Somehow I doubt the problem will go away so easily.

Part 11…

… "Listen, Lisa," I say gently, standing and walking around my desk. "Yeah, I don't think this is the time or the place. It was great seeing you, though. It really was. I - I know it's late and you'd like to get Alex in his bed-" "I'm moving here."

… She stands and turns to face me. "Sam - I don't hate you at all. At all. I might have been... _angry_ with you when we broke up, but never... I could never hate you."

… I lean forward to kiss her. At the last second she backs up, foiling my attempt.

… "If you'd, uh, want to - you and Alex could stay with me. At my apartment. You know, for the week. It's the least I can do."

… "Let me think about it." Well, it isn't a flat out 'no.'

Part 12…

… "Lisa, he's going crazy!" She exclaims. "I mean, really. His brain is fried because of H.R. 206, and every fifteen minutes he calls or visits my desk to see if you've called," She pauses. "I'm not even Sam's secretary!"

… "Anyway, if you don't want to stay with him, then why don't you come stay with me? It will be fun, and you'll be saving money!"

… "Well, I'm still going to tell Josh. He and Sam barely have time to talk, but I don't think it'll matter. They won't figure it out. Welcome to the family, cousin Eileen."

… While he is busily collecting his cars, I return to another stack of already-filled boxes. I know I should be depressed about the house, but I'm filled with nervous anticipation for the fresh start awaiting us. A new home, a new job, and new friends- essentially an entirely new life.

The only thing that's troubling me is the tiny desire in the back of my head for Sam Seaborn to be a part of that new life.

*****

"That tells me I'm stupid."

"Or in love."

"Well, that's the same thing, isn't it?"

- Gary Hobson & Marissa Clark, Early Edition

*****

I've been dreading this for just over two weeks now. I thought maybe I could avoid the problem by not talking about it. I think Josh thought the same thing. So, since my little explosion, life in the West Wing has been awkward for us. Awkward, and totally professional. It's a strange feeling. I miss my friend. I guess that means it's time to face the music.

I tap my knuckles on the open door of Josh's office, peeking my head in the room. "Josh?"

He's sitting in the dark with his arms on his desk, head on his arms, staring into space. I don't think he heard me.

"Josh?" I ask, louder this time. He jerks his head up and peers at me.

"Hmm?"

"Josh," I say, taking a step into his office. "I want to apologize for... earlier. I don't know what happened, I just-"

"Hmm?" He sluggishly sits up and blinks. "What are you talking about?"

He seems genuinely confused. It's so unbelievably unnerving to see Josh like this.

I slowly approach his desk, feeling at least ten percent guiltier than before. "I'm sorry about yelling at you before. I would've apologized earlier, but life has been so hectic with H.R. 206. You know, I wasn't really that mad... you're not mad, are you?"

The ends of his lips curl up in the saddest, most pitiful smile I've ever seen. If we weren't both straight males, I'd be tempted to hug him.

"No, I'm not mad at you, Sam," He says tiredly, somehow managing to convince me the mere idea is outrageous.

I walk around to the other side of the desk, leaning my posterior against it and looking down at my best friend. He looks absolutely crushed and refuses to meet my eyes.

"I'm here... y'know, if you feel like talking."

He snorts quietly and continues to stare straight ahead. What on Earth could have happened to-

"I don't want to talk about it," He states definitively.

I nod and cross my arms, staring down at him patiently. I've known Josh for far too long.

5.4.3.2.1.

"It's Donna," He admits, sitting back in his chair with a sigh. "I just... I don't know what to do about her."

I walk over to the door and close it before taking a seat across the desk from Josh.

"Explain," I demand encouragingly. I don't really understand why I got so upset before. For all the crap I gave him, Josh and I usually get involved in each other's love lives anyway. It's part of being best friends. Besides, I'm pretty sure Josh doesn't mind me prying into his life, seeing how often he comes to me for advice.

It's the blind leading the blind.

I sigh as Josh settles into his chair, collecting his thoughts.

"Well, we had a fight," He confesses glumly after a moment of silence.

"What about?"

Josh sighs and raises his bent arms, palms upward, in a confused shrug.

"I'm not quite sure. I'm not even sure how it started. I mean, one minute we were discussing my upcoming meetings, the next she asked permission to leave early all week in two weeks, and... You know, Sam, I don't understand women at all."

I stand and walk over to his fridge, pulling out two of the beers he's hidden behind the bottled water and containers of yogurt. I wish I had a refrigerator in my office.

"I don't think any man does," I sigh, handing him a bottle before flopping back into my chair. "And if someone says he does, he's lying... or gay."

Josh laughs and hands me a bottle opener.

"You remember me telling you about Donna's cousin Eileen, right?"

I try to recall. "Vaguely. Something about a poli-sci major at the University of Chicago."

Josh nods encouragingly. "Yeah, well, Donna told me she's visiting DC and staying with her in two weeks That's why she asked to leave early."

"How early?"

"Five."

I resist the urge to laugh out loud. "Josh, that's hardly early. Toby and I usually let Bonnie and Ginger leave then. Sometimes we keep them until six or seven, occasionally eight, but... well, don't you suppose Donna's earned a little time off? She's sometimes here longer than you are!"

Josh looks remotely guilty, but I can see he's still angry... and somewhat hurt... by her request. I let out a deep breath and swallow another swig of the cool, amber liquid. I sometimes may be clueless, but not in this case. He's so smitten, so head-over-heels in love with her that I want to smack him upside the head sometimes.

"Just ask her out already," I suggest tiredly. His eyes grow three sizes wider.

"Wh-what? Why?"

"Well, if you have to ask that, then maybe you shouldn't."

He thinks I'm serious. "That's not what I meant. I meant, how... are you crazy?"

"Am I?" I look him straight in the eyes. I'm not about to back down from this. It's time at least ONE of us is happy.

"Sam, Donna's my assistant. She works for me. I work for the President of the United States of America. What... what would the public think if they found out that the Deputy Chief of Staff was dating his assistant?"

"They'd think it's about time, seeing how they've been in love since the campaign."

I'm enjoying the bug-eyed look on Josh's face. I wonder for a moment if it will become a permanent thing.

"Wh- how- who- bu- wh?" He sputters, cheeks flushing red. "How?"

"How what? How'd I know?" He nods emphatically at my guess. "Josh, it's fairly obvious. Even to me, and you know what that's saying."

"Does everybody know?" He asks, his voice reminiscent of a scared, yet embarrassed little boy.

I can't help myself: I laugh. "Yes, Josh. Pretty much everyone. In fact, there's a super-secret office pool going on. The President was the one to start it."

"Wait. What? The President knows?"

"Josh, everybody knows."

"Does he - does he think we're ... we're, uh..." I take pity on the poor man.

"Does he think you're involved in any sort of non-professional relationship with your assistant?"

"Yeah."

"No. I told you, Josh - the man started a pool to guess when you guys would finally see the light."

Now he understands. "WHAT?"

"I said, the President"

"No, I heard that. I mean, how could you guys do that? Take away our dignity? Pry into our personal lives like that?"

"It sucks, doesn't it?" I ask, shooting him a knowing look. Enlightenment reigns briefly on his face.

"Oh. Sorry," He pauses, picking at the label of his almost-empty beer. "Who's winning?"

"The pool?"

"Yeah. Who's winning?"

"Well, it's hard to say. CJ was out of it long ago - she thought it'd happen after the shooting. Leo was all for the time after you gave Donna that book for Christmas. Charlie moved his bet to when Donna was told about the MS and you got mad at Toby. Remember how much Donna helped us, especially you, through those long nights, long weeks? We all thought he'd win for sure."

"What about you?"

"Me? Oh, I'm out of the running, too. I thought you'd act on it back when Joey Lucas planted the seed in your brain."

"I - that's really when I started to realize it," He says softly. "It made me so... so happy, because if it was true, then it'd be terrific. But, at the same time, I didn't want to believe it. Not because I didn't want think it was possible, but because I knew we couldn't do anything about it," He pauses and takes a deep breath. "We can't, Sam."

"Why the hell not?"

"What are you talking about? Hello? Are we on the same planet? I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff! Donna's my assistant! It would look-"

"It would look like a fairy tale, if it works out, which we all know it will. You need to stop coming up with phony excuses, Josh. Everybody's behind you two on this one. The President of the United States, the Leader of the Free World, knows you two are in love. He started an office-wide bet to guess when you'd admit it to each other. HE'S not the one that would have a problem with you and Donna starting a romantic relationship - YOU are!" I wait a moment for my words to sink in.

In the silence, I polish off my beer and stand. "I'm going home, all right?"

Josh waves his hand at me, deep in thought and slightly wounded from my harsh words.

"Josh, I had to tell you. I've wanted to smack you, y'know, to help you see how much you guys love each other, but... I hope this helps."

He looks up at me, wide-eyed and oddly innocent. "She really loves me?"

"Well, my name isn't Donnatella Moss, but I'm pretty damn sure she'll back me up on that one."

He reaches for the phone, then decides against it and stands, swaying slightly. He really does have a sensitive system.

"Okay, I don't know what to do," I can essentially see the adrenaline pumping through his body. "I'm going to call her," He reaches for the phone, then pulls away. "No, I'm not. I'm going to- I'm going to go see her. To apologize." He starts looking for his coat.

"Some flowers couldn't hurt, either," I call over my shoulder as I leave his office.

"Wait, Sam!"

I turn around at his request. "Before I do anything, I'm just curious. Who would win the bet if I told her tonight?"

I think briefly of the schedule. "I believe Mrs. Landingham had this month covered. I don't know how she could have known either, because... well, she was gone before this whole M.S. deal."

"Maybe it was pure instinct," Josh says quietly.

"How much money?"

"Oh, I don't know anymore. I lost track a long time ago. It's a pretty healthy sum, though." I look at him and smile. "Good luck, Josh. Have fun. I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Bye, Sam. And thanks."

I turn back around and head to my office to gather my stuff. I hear Josh whistling as he walks past.

I silently wish them both the best of luck and switch the lights off in my office. Time to go home and wallow in self-pity and a six-pack.

Ah, I love my life.

TBC