Title: Stay Anyway 16/?

Author: Amber (Ambino1111@prodigy.net)

Okay, two chapters this week because they're kind of short.

Disclaimers & other notes in Part 1

Previously, in Stay Anyway…

Sam sees his ex-fiancée Lisa as she takes a tour of the White House with her son Alexander. He talks with her and they decide to go to dinner the next night. A political snafu pops up before their dinner, and they end up eating with Josh and Donna in the White House. Lisa vows to hook up Josh and Donna, the latter becoming a new friend. Sam encourages Lisa to stay so they can talk about what happened between them, and as she is singing her son to sleep in Josh's office, Sam talks with Josh and Donna. He goes ballistic when Josh asks if he still loves Lisa. Sam and Lisa decide not to talk about what happened, although Lisa rhetorically asks "How did we get here?" Flashbacks: Lisa is a dentist and first meets Sam at an appointment. Fast forward to Sam and Lisa living together. A misunderstanding occurs when Sam's plans for a surprise party make Lisa suspicious. She tracks down the woman she thinks he's having an affair with, and discovers it was Josh, who had been helping Sam plan everything. At the party, she and Josh, realizing who they are, react strangely when introduced, which makes Sam wonder. He confronts Josh, who tells him the truth. Sam tells Lisa it was all just a misunderstanding and they drop it. Back to the present, where Lisa informs Sam that she and Alex are moving to DC He offers to let her stay at his apartment until hers is ready - she says she'll think about it. Instead, she accepts Donna's offer to live with her and refuses to call Sam and tell him. Sam and Josh have a heart-to-heart about women, and Josh learns about the office-wide pool betting on when he and Donna would admit their feelings. Meanwhile, at Donna's, Lisa comforts Donna, who admits that Josh treats her like a platonic wife. Josh shows up at her apartment, drunkenly informing her of his love, and Donna makes him leave. While waiting for the cab, Josh tells Lisa that Sam still loves her. In the middle of the night, Sam comes over to Donna's and demands to know where Lisa is. He and Lisa have a huge fight that ends with Sam yelling that he loves her.

*****

"Is it possible we have found you again only to lose you?"

- Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

*****

Life can sure take some unexpected turns, can't it? I mean, one minute I'm touring the White House with my son, the next I'm having a screaming match with my ex-fiancée in my new friend's apartment.

Never saw that one coming.

It is now, like the Moody Blues song, Tuesday afternoon. Alex and I have just returned from visiting my father. The doctors and nurses seem to think he's adjusting well to his new life. He was happy to see us, which always makes me feel better.


I know he doesn't quite understand it all, and I'm fairly certain he doesn't even remember Sam, but I couldn't help telling my dad about what happened last night. I still can't believe it myself.

The worst part of it all is, deep down, this is exactly what I wanted. I never stopped loving Sam, and I always wanted him to still love me. I used to have dreams of being a family - me, Sam, and Alex, together and happy. So, if this is what I wanted, why do I feel so crappy? Why can't I accept this chance for happiness?

I'd like to think there's some internal problem, something that could be fixed with medication or maybe hypnosis, but, sadly, I know that's not the case. The simple truth of the matter is not that I'm afraid of happiness, though I might be a little bit scared of the risk. The problem is that I'm afraid of how it would look in the political world. Really. I don't want to be the reason for any bad press for Sam. I love him too much to ruin his career by sticking around.

It's odd, because I'm almost more aware, more worried, about the possible negative ramifications than he is. I doubt with all of his thinking that it's even crossed his mind.

No, I take that back. It probably has. But Sam has that wonderful optimism, that terrifically cheerful outlook that I love and envy, which probably put a positive spin on any of the repercussions.

I wish I could think like he does.

Alex is busy watching a cartoon on TV. He's laughing so hard I'm afraid he's going to bust something.

God, I love that boy sooo much. What Sam said... it really hurt. I know I'm hindering Alex by withholding his father from him, but I truly believe it's for the best. If I didn't believe that with all my heart and soul, I wouldn't be doing it.

I pick up Donna's phone, watching Alex dissolve into a fit of giggles on the other end of the sofa. I play with the phone for a minute, rolling it around in my hands.

This really is for the best. It has to be.

I pick Sam's business card off of the coffee table and start to dial.

"Sam Seaborn," A brisk female voice answers.

The idiot that I am, I didn't stop to think that Sam's secretary would be answering the phone.

"Uh, yeah. This is Lisa Prescott. I was - is Sam free? I need to talk to him."

"Hold on a second, Ms. Prescott," The woman says. Patriotic holding music blares for a few moments. Then the phone is picked up again.

"Hello? Sam Seaborn here," Sam states. He sounds overworked and generally exhausted, but somehow more content than I've ever known him to be.

"Sam, this is Lisa. I..." I trail off. What I'm about to do is so mean. I shouldn't do it over the phone, or while he's working, yet I'm going to do both.

I hear only his breathing on the other end. He's learned his lesson from his slip-up last night - he won't say a word unless it's absolutely warranted. That should make this a little, tiny bit easier.

"Sam, I've been thinking a lot, like you have been. And I think, for both our sakes, it's best if we don't... see each other anymore. If you truly feel the way you feel, then I don't want to torture you by just being friends. And if we were to get together, uh... romantically, it would look bad, and I don't want to hurt your career. Okay? That's all I needed to say."

The silence is killing me. Please, Sam. Please tell me I'm doing the right thing. Please at least SEE that I'm doing the right thing.

"Okay," He says at last. His voice is clipped and I can tell he's already distanced himself from me. "It was nice knowing you, Lisa. Goodbye."

With that, I find myself listening to a dial tone.

I sit on the couch for the next five minutes, replaying our conversation (if you can even call it that) over and over in my head. I did the right thing. I had to have done the right thing.

Right?

TBC