Title: Stay Anyway 20/?

Author: Amber (Ambino1111@prodigy.net)

AN: Okay, sorry this is so late. My friend from out of town is visiting this weekend, and let's just say the day's events included pizza, TCBY, a closed mall, and a flat tire.

Disclaimers & Other Notes in Part 1

Previously, in Stay Anyway...
Sam sees his ex-fiancée Lisa as she takes a tour of the White House with her son Alexander. He talks with her and they decide to go to dinner the next night. A political snafu pops up before their dinner, and they end up eating with Josh and Donna in the White House. Lisa vows to hook up Josh and Donna, the latter becoming a new friend. Sam encourages Lisa to stay so they can talk about what happened between them, and as she is singing her son to sleep in Josh's office, Sam talks with Josh and Donna. He goes ballistic when Josh asks if he still loves Lisa. Sam and Lisa decide not to talk about what happened, although Lisa rhetorically asks "How did we get here?" Flashbacks: Lisa is a dentist and first meets Sam at an appointment. Fast forward to Sam and Lisa living together. A misunderstanding occurs when Sam's plans for a surprise party make Lisa suspicious. She tracks down the woman she thinks he's having an affair with, and discovers it was Josh, who had been helping Sam plan everything. At the party, she and Josh, realizing who they are, react strangely when introduced, which makes Sam wonder. He confronts Josh, who tells him the truth. Sam tells Lisa it was all just a misunderstanding and they drop it. Back to the present, where Lisa informs Sam that she and Alex are moving to DC He offers to let her stay at his apartment until hers is ready - she says she'll think about it. Instead, she accepts Donna's offer to live with her and refuses to call Sam and tell him. Sam and Josh have a heart-to-heart about women, and Josh learns about the office-wide pool betting on when he and Donna would admit their feelings. Meanwhile, at Donna's, Lisa comforts Donna, who admits that Josh treats her like a platonic wife. Josh shows up at her apartment, drunkenly informing her of his love, and Donna makes him leave. While waiting for the cab, Josh tells Lisa that Sam still loves her. In the middle of the night, Sam comes over to Donna's and demands to know where Lisa is. He and Lisa have a huge fight that ends with Sam yelling that he loves her. Later that day, Lisa calls Sam and tells him it's over - they shouldn't even see each other anymore. At lunch, Sam decides to ask Ainsley out to dinner and she agrees. Fast forward to Lisa and Alex waiting in the mess to eat lunch with Donna. Before she arrives, Lisa meets Ainsley, who is waiting to eat with Sam. An awkward situation ensues, in which both Sam and Lisa pretend to not know each other. That Friday, HR 206 passes, and everyone is happy. Sam and Ainsley decline the invitation to celebrate with Josh, Donna, Toby, and CJ, and instead go to dinner. After dinner, Ainsley offers to cut Sam's hair. They go to his apartment, where they both change out of their rain-drenched clothes into sweatpants. While Ainsley is cutting Sam's hair, he leans forward and kisses her. A knock at the door interrupts them.

*****

"Woe, for unnumbered are the ills we bear." - Chorus, Oedipus Rex

*****

I have to say, despite myself, that life without Sam the second time around has been going well, much more smoothly than the first time.

It's strange.

Alex and I have settled into our new apartment. All of the utlities have been turned on, and I've even managed to unpack about 54% of the boxes littering our living space.

Alex and I are both excited about Monday, too. Monday, I start my job, and my little son starts daycare. I feel simultaneously horrible and happy about this latest development. I feel guilty about leaving him during the day, but we can't live forever off of savings. Back in Pennsylvania, my neighbor and best friend Kelly had taken care of Alex while I worked. She had two little ones of her own and didn't mind it at all. I paid her of course, but, after looking at the applications for this daycare center, I have realized I was robbing her. Either that, or they're robbing me.

Probably a little of both.

Anyway, Alex is excited about meeting some kids his own age. I can tell he misses Haley and Logan (Kelly's two kids), and I know the socializing will do him good.

It's that thought that assuages my guilt about "abandoning" him.

My social life, in the meantime, hasn't been very active. I've talked to Donna three times since we moved in, and she's been keeping me up to date with her life. I'm very excited about the recent advancement of her and Josh's relationship. They both deserve to be happy. I don't think I'll be seeing much of her anymore, though. I'll be busy with Alex and my job, and she'll be busy with Josh and her job, and time will gradually get away from us. Nevertheless, I'm hoping to keep our friendship alive.

As for my romantic social life, I've planned a funeral. I suppose that's the best for us. I mean, I had been placing my wants above those of my son, and that was just shameful. I'm glad I broke things off with Sam before we became remotely serious. I don't need any more complications in my life right now.

I stir the soup on the stove and open the cabinet to pull out the box of Saltines.

"Mommy?" Alex asks from his spot at the kitchen table. The poor kid had been feeling sick all day.

I turn around and feel his forehead. "Hmm?"

"I don't feel good."

"I know, sweetie," I pick him up and hug him to me. "Does your tummy still hurt?"

"Mmm-hmm," He says solemnly. "And my froat." His little pout breaks my heart.

"Okay. Let me finish the soup and we'll go look for some medicine, all right?"

He nods and buries his face in my shoulder. I shift him slightly to stir the soup before turning it off. I carry him across the apartment to the bathroom and swing open the medicine cabinet.

"Hmm... something for a sore tummy and a sore throat," I say quietly as I thumb through the different medications in the cabinet. Finding a children's cough syrup, I pull it out triumphanty and unscrew the lid singlehandedly (In the past two and a half years, I've learned how to do a lot with only one hand).

I peer inside the bottle to find, to my disappointment, that it's empty.

"Why on earth would I keep an empty bottle? I hate when people do that!"

Nevertheless, the bottle remains empty. I quickly search the cabinet for another, but, finding none, go back to the kitchen.

"Okay, Alex. Here's the game plan. We eat some dinner, you get some 7Up in a bottle, and we go to the nearest pharmacy to get you some medicine to make you feel better. Okay?"

I place him back in his chair and kiss the top of his head. I serve the soup and help Alex eat his. Then I clean him up, pour him a bottle of 7Up, put our coats on, strap him in the stroller, grab my purse and the diaperbag, and snatch up my keys from the table.

Just as I'm about to leave, the phone rings.

"Great," I mutter. I wheel the stroller back into the apartment and run to the phone.

"Hello?" I answer, slightly out of breath.

"Hello. Is this Ms. Lisa Prescott?"

"Yes."

"Hi, Ms. Prescott. It's Jarod, from the Institute of Better Mental Health and Maintenance."

My stomach knots at the formality and its implications. "Hi, Jarod. What happened?"

The voice on the other end takes a deep breath - never a good sign. "Are you sitting down, Ms. Prescott?"

I actually am. Without even realizing it, I had sank into the nearest chair as soon as I'd heard it was the Institute.

Please not now. Please not tonight.

"Ms. Prescott, I'm afraid I have some bad news. About thirty minutes ago, your father had a heart attack. Our staff and the paramedics worked hard to recessitate him, but he died en route to the hospital."

He continues talking, but I am no longer able to hear the words. It takes a moment for it to sink in, and then I come back to my senses.

"- his blood pressure had dropped to-"

"Excuse me," I interrupt, feeling dizzy and confused. "Can I call you back later?"

"Huh? Oh yes. Of course, Ms. Prescott. I, and all of the caregivers and doctors at the Institute for Better Mental Health and Maintenance, offer my condolences."

I hang up the phone without a thank you. My mind is racing, and I swear to God the room is spinning. I raise a hand to my head to sturdy myself as the tears start flowing.

I cry quietly for a good three minutes before Alex, still strapped in his stroller, grows tired of waiting and asks "Mommy? Why are woo thad?"

I shake my head and reach over to pull the stroller to me. I unbuckle Alex, pull him into my lap, and hold him tight. He wiggles in protest for a few minutes, then accepts his fate and sits quietly.

I cannot believe this. My father is dead. I am parentless, I am an orphan.

Even though the Alzheimer's had been taking a toll on him for the past three years, the diabetes even longer, I still never thought of my dad as mortal. He has always been strong, infalliable. Death could never get past his strong will to live, his stubborn refusal to leave his baby girl alone on the planet. He was never supposed to die.

Childish hopes. And I'm already thinking of him in the past tense. Maybe because it's not that recent of a change. When had it happened? Sometime after the decision was made to put him in the nursing home, I suppose. He had lost something even before that, a necessary and vital part of him had withered away into nothingness.

What makes me even sadder than confronting his death is the fact that I missed it. I've now missed both of my parents' deaths, twice missed the chance to hold their hand as they passed onto the afterlife. After caring for them for so long, after everything I had sacrificed to be there for them... none of it mattered. In the end, I had abandoned both of them. When Mom died, I was in the next room. Now for Dad, I was about twenty miles away. The distance doesn't matter, though, because no matter how I can spin it, I was absent in their final moment of need.

I don't even remember what Mom's last words were to me. I think they were something simple, like "Water, please." By that time, she was too weak to say much more. For months after she died, I agonized over trying to remember what I had said to her last. I think I decided I said something along the lines of, "I'll be right back," because I had to go to the bathroom. And, just like that, Dad knocked on the bathroom door to tell me, as I was washing my hands, that he thought Mom wasn't breathing anymore.

I wipe the tears from my eyes with one hand, and place Alex back in his stroller. Unlike with my mom, I can remember clearly what my last conversation with my dad was like.

"Jennifer, I want you to remember that I love you." He had been calling me 'Jennifer' off and on since the Alzheimer's hit. Even before that, he would occasionally slip up. My mom told me once that they almost named me 'Jennifer,' that Dad had campaigned for that name, but ultimately agreed on 'Lisa.' So I didn't mind it as much as I might have.

Still, it hurt. "Okay, Dad. I love you, too."

That was it. That was all I said. Simple. And yet... I still don't feel any closure. At least it's better than with Mom - at least he knew that I loved him, no matter what he thought my name was, he knew that I loved him, and he loved me.

I choke back a sob and pick up the phone. I need to talk to someone.

I dial Donna's number automatically. It rings. And rings. And rings. Apparently, she's not home.

Beep. "Hi, Donna," I hope my voice isn't as shaky as it sounds. "I, uh... I just needed to talk to you, that's all. I, uh, I just found out that my dad died, and I, um, I just felt like talking. That's okay, though. I'll talk to you when you get home. Bye."

I hang up the phone, feeling like an idiot, and turn it back on. I dial Kelly's number, at first forgetting the area code and having to redial. It rings twice before someone picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Haley? Is that you? It's Lisa."

"Hi, Lisa! Mommy isn't home right now. Do you want to talk to Daddy? He's in the kitchen making dinner."

"No, that's okay, Hayley. Just tell your mom I called, okay?"

"Okay. Goodbye."

"Bye," I hang up the phone. I try to think of someone else to call, but there's no one. It's pretty sad how my entire repertoire of friends could be summed up with two phone calls. Is this all that's become of my life?

I suddenly grow astoundingly restless. I need to move. I start pacing the apartment, but after a few laps I decide it's too small.

I remember that I have my coat on, and so does Alex, and he is sitting in his stroller.

"Okay, Alex. We're going for a walk. We're going to go get you some medicine, and Mommy is going to calm down."

It's only when we're about two blocks from the building that I realize it's raining. Hmm. I slip my coat off and cover Alex - even though he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, there's no need for him to get any sicker.

I keep walking through the pouring rain until I no longer recognize the streets around me. A sudden terror sweeps over me. I thought I was on the right road to the pharmacy, but apparently not.

I keep walking, though, knowing that eventually I'll come across a corner drugstore. This is Washington, DC, our nation's capital. There has to be a pharmacy nearby.

I stop at a corner to check Alex (he's asleep), and all at once I recognize where I am. I don't know how I got here, but I definitely recognize the building across the street. Donna had pointed it out to me one day when we happened to be driving past.

Without any conscious decision, I find myself pushing the stroller across the street. I carry it up a flight of stairs and find apartment 27 all without a second thought. It's almost like I've been here before, but I know for a fact that I have not.

Before I know what I'm doing, I raise my hand and knock on the door. There's no answer at first, but I knock again, louder and longer this time. I need to talk to him, I have to tell him. Just in case something were to happen to me... Someone has to know - he has to know.

The door swings open and he stares at me, half of his hair longer than the other. He is wearing a sweat suit and a look of angry surprise.

"Lisa?"

"Hi, Sam."

TBC